Even though I am deprived of Thanksgiving when I am in Italy, we do get a string of holidays the first week of December.
They are Catholic in origin, but it’s free time nonetheless!
And since this year’s local holidays fell on a Wednesday and Thursday, I was forced to take the Friday that came after off. Yes, forced, because in Italy, companies “force” you to use the 20 plus days of vacation you have for the year when it suits them! Remember folks, there is always a catch…
Anyways, I had 3 days total, plus the weekend to go on a “long” weekend away, and it was the perfect opportunity to meet up with my “lab bestie” E., who lives in Germany. We met during my PhD and had our share of fun and harrowing moments in the lab.
I like to think we are at better places in our lives compared to that experience, haha!
I was flexible on where we could go for vacation together, while she immediately thought of MALTA! — a tiny island country just below Sicilia.
Despite its proximity to Italy, it was yet another place that didn’t escape British conquest…
The last time I traveled with someone for a multi-day vacation was…actually with E! Back in 2018! I had visited her in Germany, and we traveled around Northwest Germany together, along with a weekend to Amsterdam. I remember it being a wonderful time, and now that we came back from Malta, it’s interesting to be able to compare my most recent and past experiences traveling with another person …and it has inspired me to write about the fact that it truly is all about balance when your travel plans include more than yourself!
Rather than go on and on about what I did in Malta, let the pics speak for themselves, while I reflect on something different…
Why Traveling with Others is a Lifesaver
⊛ Someone can watch your stuff while you use the bathroom.
This honestly is one of the best things about group travel. I’ve spent so many solo trips doing the “bladder dance” while traveling because I didn’t want to drag my luggage into airport bathroom stalls, or get up to use the lavatory on the plane! On our trip to Malta, E. and I were able to rely on each other for luggage watch duty, while we took all the time we needed during bathroom breaks. Also, I was free to drink all the water I wanted as a result, and stay hydrated!
You can also depend on someone to help watch your seat when you get seconds from the (free) breakfast buffet at the hotel 🐷
⊛ If you travel with a not-so-picky-eater, you can order “tapas-style” and split the bill afterwards.
For most of the places we ate at, E. and I were able to order for ourselves with no issue, but traveling with others can be “fun” when it comes to trying all sorts of new foods. It also helps if you travel partner(s) are hungry around the same time you are, so that one person isn’t a hangry grump while the other has no appetite—that’s not fun to deal with!
A lot of times, we did just order for ourselves though!
⊛ More people involved in a trip means more brainpower to plan out what to do.
I am very flexible when it comes to sightseeing. Perhaps that’s why my “solo adventures” are so boring, because I tend to stick to safe, predictable activities like walking around whatever city I’m in. I’m comfortable using local public transit, and can get familiar with the streets because I’ll most likely run them beforehand, but if it requires a *little* more effort, like paying for a museum entrance ticket, I’m most likely going to stay away if I’m on my own.
Why Traveling with Others is Frustrating
⊛ Energy levels are at risk of not being in sync with your travel partner’s.
There were several times on the trip where I felt exhausted and in need of a nap. I know that when it comes to traveling with others, priorities on what to see, where to eat, and how to spend precious trip time can differ. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t need *too* much control of an itinerary, but I am sensitive to doing too many things at once, or not planning food and rest breaks properly.
⊛ You need to be mindful and make time for “alone time”.
This is line with the earlier point about energy levels. It’s okay to have “alone time” when you are traveling with others…I’d go as far to say it’s essential. Yes, even with my current stance on solo travel, I believe taking time for yourself, away from others on a trip, can help to recollect your energy and be happier when you rejoin your travel companion(s).
My solo time always comes in the form of morning runs. I have yet to travel with anyone who likes waking up before dawn on vacation to exercise 😂.
⊛ Communication is key, otherwise passive aggressiveness can ensue.
Overall, my friend and I had a great, memorable trip to Malta sprinkled with fun times, but I have to be honest and say there were moments where we did butt heads. It can be difficult for most of us to communicate exactly how we feel, especially because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but not expressing feelings at all can lead to some irritable exchanges, which is what happened with us at times 😅!
But this is okay. It’s important to acknowledge that this is something that can come up with partner or group travel. It’s also understandable if you want to avoid confrontation and awkward interactions, and don’t bring up what’s upsetting you to your travel partners as a result. However…if you’re brave enough to do it, maybe it could make the rest of the trip even better? 🤔
Is it Worth Taking the “Good” with the “Bad”?
I personally prefer traveling with others over being by myself 100% of the time. Alone time during group travel is absolutely necessary however, especially for any type of introvert (even the ones who can *pretend to* be extroverted, lol).
I was truly excited and happy to see my friend after over four years, and at the same time, I was glad when the trip concluded and I could take a break with myself!
At the end of the day, it is all about balance, as cliché as it sounds. We may not always achieve it—especially when it comes to unpredictable events like travel—but we can certainly give it a good ol’ try.
Where do you fall on the social travel spectrum—paralyzed without a partner? Or savor that sweet, sweet solo time?
This one is so hard, because for me it truly depends on the person. There are handfuls of people I would not even consider traveling with, and would prefer to go alone if they were my only option. There are also a small number of people (literally like two) who I would travel with at the drop of a hat any and everywhere over traveling alone. I struggle worrying if people are going to have a good time with what I know I want to do when I go with others, and I also struggle with needing alone time. I’m an energizer bunny when I travel and I want to do and see as much as I can, and I know most people need more rest.
When I went to Sweden in Sept/Oct I had to be upfront with my travel partner and let him know I would need time alone. He is very dependent on others and that worried me, but overall we did well together. Letting him know ahead of time I think was helpful.
I’m glad this worked out in the end for you both, and that you were able to see somewhere new!
Author
Oh yes! Making stuff known before the trip I think helps a lot! Especially if you are traveling with someone new, or traveling with someone that you traveled with before, but it has been a long time.
Malta was great! Definitely recommend for a change of pace and a “unique” European location
Just as the above person commented, this totally boils down to the person I am with. I have had some awful experiences where people I was travelling with just wanted to get drunk 24/7 and I have also had some members of a travel group just be in a perpetual bad mood. This has made me very wary of travelling with people. However, I do hav a solid group of people with whom I am keen to travel with simply because I know we enjoy the same things and are very flexible. I love solo travel the most but sometimes it can get expensive and lonely!
Author
Totally agree with you on all points! At the end of the day, it really is all about balance!