⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

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You can also read more about Western Serbia/planning a trip to the region on Aneesa’s blog, Expat Panda.

I hope I don’t jinx myself by saying this, but 2024 has been a fantastic year for travel so far. It started off with Maui, during which I finally felt thrilled to be a solo traveler. Then followed a flurry of work trips, which weren’t as stressful as you’d imagine. All of the trips were domestic, but I can’t deny the fact that I enjoyed adding points and airline miles to my loyalty programs, while being able to carry out my job in places like Washington D.C., San Diego, and Tampa.

Those work trips did eventually get exhausting though, so I was more than ready for some PTO by the time May rolled around. I wasn’t really sure what to expect with Serbia (not Siberia, folks), but I knew it would be nothing short of worthwhile—especially since it was an adventure I’d be sharing with a friend I met through circumstances only a millennial/post-millennial could relate to!

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I first learned about Aneesa’s blog—Expat Panda—when I “left” the Instagram world for about a year. Prior to what ended up being a sabbatical of sorts, I had been active on Instagram as @secondgendesi to promote this blog and to also connect with other expats since I was an expat in Italy at the time.

I left a comment on Aneesa’s blog introducing myself, but since I wasn’t active on Instagram, we didn’t really connect until more than a year later! In that time, I co-started the podcast Pour the Coffee and came back to Instagram with a refreshed (and more detached from the toxicities of it!) attitude. I reached out to Aneesa over the summer of 2023 to see if she would be interested in being a guest on our podcast. I’m glad she said yes, because it led to one of our best episodes yet and it was on a relevant topic too. From there, our virtual friendship grew! You can check out her Pour the Coffee episode here.

At the time of recording, Aneesa was still living in Qatar, but shared with us that she would be relocating to Serbia by the time our episode was planned to go live. Despite having lived in Europe for almost three years by the time this episode was recorded, it never occurred to me that exploring Serbia, and Eastern Europe in general, would be worth considering.

I’m glad I didn’t overlook this country! And I’m excited knowing that I have so much to look forward to within the Balkans!

As I wrapped up trips to Austria and Portugal & Barcelona later that year, my mind was already churning about where to go for 2024. In this post about my Austria trip, I reflected on my new mindset about travel and how I now prefer to prioritize people over location, among other realizations. Before I knew it, I was coordinating a week-long trip to Serbia to see Aneesa and explore a new country.

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There wasn’t too much going on prior to my trip, but Aneesa was instrumental in ironing out the foundational itinerary, especially in regards to our planned group travel to Western Serbia. As a Type-A person who loves seeing my Google Calendar light up with overlapping colors across several weeks, I appreciated Aneesa’s similar mindset towards detail and planning ahead.

You won’t believe how many people I know who revel in doing things at the very last minute—what an anxiety-inducing way to live!

Besides booking my flights, I didn’t do much in regards to prior research before the trip. For me, I was open to anything as long as I with like-minded company. Knowing that a “girls group trip” was part of the plan was what I was looking forward to the most. I was also heavily consumed with work travel, and couldn’t visualize the trip until I got closer to the date of my departure.

Prior to the trip, I also reached out to other friends and acquaintances from my time living in Italy, letting them know I was going to be in Serbia and that if their schedules allowed, it would be great to meet with them as well. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out for anyone I contacted, but my dear friend Glenis (and guest on Episode 11 of Pour the Coffee 😉) put me in touch with two of her friends who would be in Serbia at the time of the trip, and one of them was able to join the group trip we had planned for the weekend I was there. Ultimately, it resulted in an amazing outcome!

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I booked my flights back in January through KLM, my preferred airline for Europe travel since CDG/Paris is an absolute nightmare. I left Houston around 3pm local time, and arrived early in Amsterdam the next day. My attempts to use the one of the lounges backfired, since anyone not in Business or First Class, including those with lounge memberships through other programs (i.e. Priority Pass), had to get on a waitlist no earlier than three hour prior to boarding their next flight. Needless to say, the five hours I was looking forward to killing in the lounge were spent trying to stay awake at crowded seating areas across Schipol’s Terminal 2.

I eventually made it to Belgrade, Serbia’s capital (and once the capital of entire Yugoslavia), and in one piece to Aneesa’s place. After settling in, unpacking, trying not to overwhelm the cutie boy that is Chai (🐱) and being treated to a home-cooked meal, I was able to call it a night and try to curb any sign of jetlag that might be brewing.

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🧳

Day 1

My first full day on the ground was a Friday, and I was able to wake up at a leisurely pace. Since our road trip was planned to start in the afternoon, I was able to spend the morning going for a run and getting a feel for Belgrade by foot.

It started off as a run comprised of steep hills and lush green scenery. I ran a little bit into the city, expecting passersby to be stunned since it had started to lightly rain, but most people seemed preoccupied with their own lives, lol! I managed to find myself in Hajd (Hyde) Park and stopped whenever there was an opportunity to take quirky pics.

Views from my run – someone’s home (??), a monument to one of Serbia’s famous long distance runners, a random head in Hajd Park

However, things took a miserable turn when the light rain turned into a heavy downpour. I also took a wrong turn, so I had to add an extra mile to my run that included a steep climb up all while getting drenched to my bones.

The funny thing was, by the time Aneesa and I left to pick up our rental car for the weekend group trip a few hours later, there was not a single cloud in the sky 🤔. And while this seemed like an anomaly, what we experienced next was something neither of us could have predicted…

While Uber and Lyft are not active in Serbia, the taxi game is still strong. Residents are able to utilize apps to book taxis as well as use public transport to get around. On an otherwise normal Friday afternoon, Aneesa and I got into a taxi with no concerns other than to get to the car rental place on time—but after about 20 minutes on the road in what seemed like the opposite direction, we started to have our doubts.

These doubts began to rise when Boro, our most-likely senile excuse of a taxi driver, wanted to drop us off in a random neighborhood nowhere near our car rental stop, and nowhere near any decipherable English signs that could be used as landmarks for Google maps. Thankfully, Aneesa was able to get a hold of her landlord who speaks Serbian, and we assumed that after words were exchanged over the phone, Boro now knew where to take us (although why he was having issues in the first place is beyond me…).

We were still on edge as we approached the airport of all places. Once I confirmed from the backseat that Boro had put in some random address that would lead us to getting dropped off in two hours, I knew we had to put a stop to this nightmare. Boro also seemed to be confused (but why?? LOL!) and seemed relieved that we wanted to get down at the airport. Thankfully, a second taxi driver got us to where we needed to be (a local Avis for our car rental pic-up). Unfortunately, the drama continued from there.

Aneesa had placed a reservation for a small automatic car (since I can’t drive manual 😔) back in January, and after receiving an email confirmation and having the amount for the rental debited from her card, we naturally assumed our reservation was set. To our shock, the rep at the office said there was no sign of the reservation on their end. When we tried to rationalize with her (big mistake), we were fuming, mostly due to the fact that she tried to turn the blame on us when it was in fact her company at fault for not managing our reservation properly. I mean, the fact that the office didn’t even have a telephone was a huge red flag.

Even though the car rental company was clearly at fault, they did not offer a discount or anything to help remediate the situation. Instead, we had to pay in full for an automatic car that was higher than budgeted for, and top it off with a $1,600 hold in case of damages 😒. Honestly by that point, we were relieved to have a working vehicle and were dying to put an end to the incessant drama.

We were almost two hours delayed in picking up our friends Renata and Pam. Despite Belgrade rush hour traffic and feeling frazzled, our four-person girl group managed to make it out of the city alive and well. Once I was away from the narrow streets of the city and onto wide freeway roads, I also felt more relaxed as the “designated driver” of the group 😉.

This sunset stop on the way to Tara was much needed

After about three hours of driving, we made it to Tara National Park grounds and stayed at the Garni Hotel Vila Drina for the night. Our accommodations were cozy, and we made it just in time to have a decent dinner (and rakia!) as well.

Renata and I *not* particularly enjoying our plum *rakia*. It is the collective term for fruit spirits and is popular across the Balkans.

Despite feeling rattled from the days events, I was able to rest and recuperate and was looking forward to a better weekend after a rough start! For context, our reference point for Western Serbia:

We were actually very close to the Bosnian border!

🧳 Day 2

I woke up a little bit earlier than the other girls to of course get a run in. Somehow, I was determined to get a speed workout in, even though my “race course” would be limited to mini loops through scattered houses, and running up and down the singular main road that cut through the neighborhood we were staying at.

According to Google, we were technically in the small town of Bajina Bašta, and it was definitely giving those small town mountain vibes…

It was also at this time that I realized Serbia really loves their four-legged friends! A tiny, black mountain pup decided to join me for some of my intervals 😄.

Later that morning, another dog helped us find a gorgeous viewpoint at Splavar Cave.

Serbia loves their canines, and I’m all for it.

After getting our initial fill of small town Western Serbia and never-ending waterfalls, we set forth to our next destination—Zelenika Viewpoint. I found the seating areas to be extremely cute, and most definitely designed for photogenic captures.

About an hour later, we arrived safely at the parking point for Zaovine Lake. As our group’s driver, my mind was in hyper-focus mode, making sure each turn I made up a continuous steep incline was not too fast, and hoping any cars going in the opposite direction were hypervigilant in this regard as well. I quickly realized that Serbian drivers have no chill 😬.

The drive up was 100% worth it though, and we got some of our best group pics at this point.

Lunch consisted of road trip snacks as we made our way to Drvengrad, which I can only describe as eccentric with a pinch of cute. Serbia.com describes it as ‘located on Mećavnik hill in Mokra Gora nature park, the meeting point of two beautiful Serbian mountains Tara and Zlatibor, ethno village “Drvengrad” is a product of film director Emir Kusturica’s imagination, and was built for the production of his film “Life is a miracle”.‘

Overall, it was a unique and picturesque place to walk around at, but we all agreed that it was not necessarily a “must-see” destination. The consistent swarm of obnoxious school-children also didn’t help uplift our spirits, LOL. For me, the tight parking situation was a source of anxiety. To be fair, driving an automatic Opel that was on the larger side compared to the average Serbian’s car made me feel some level of anxiety throughout the entire trip, but I was grateful for the experience, as it has added to my driving confidence in foreign countries (the first time I drove in Europe was in Portugal last year, and that had its fair share of drama too).

Our final stop for the day was our accommodation at El Paso City, another quirky find that also probably shouldn’t be your major motivator for exploring West Serbia. If it’s along the way however, you will not regret staying here for a night 😉.

It had a balanced blend of Wild West inspiration, Texas admiration, and cultural appropriation 😬:

And of course, host dogs—Mishkov was the fluffy white boy who scarfed down scraps of meat no one wanted, haha.

🧳 Day 3

Due to the weather, and that running on the only road which was practically a freeway without sidewalks or guardrails would be dangerous, my morning run was a slow, continuous loop around a “bull-riding” machine and ax throwing stalls. Mishkov gave me company for a while, and soon after some of the staff came by to set-up the stalls for the day. I also happened to spot a peacock.

I said this place was quirky.

Breakfast was quirky too—onion rings and a mozzarella stick without a proper cheese filling to go alongside three sunny side eggs, followed by cherry pie. I’m not complaining though! The best part was ordering “domestic coffee” which gave me the option to choose betweeen Greek or Turkish coffee. My cup of Turkish coffee was perfection, and made all the more so with a Turkish Delight on the side. My only regret is not having this be my coffee order every day of my trip!

Our final stop before heading back was Gostilje Waterfalls, which was a naturally calming and picturesque location, but high caution is needed getting here. You won’t believe how many times Google Maps tried to get us to off-road, and how many times I worried about a surprise car swooping around the corner on that all-to-common one-lane road shared by both directions 😬.

But the destination was stunning as well as soothing, no doubt about that. Aneesa also shared her thoughts on this gem of nature on her blog, as well as details for English-speaking readers on how to get there.

The drive back to Belgrade was pretty smooth once we reached “civilization” aka the “Milos the Great” motorway. Driving in Belgrade was another story. Sunday traffic mixed with incompetent drivers (I suppose it is a condition that spans nationalities…) made our final portion of the drive through the city longer than expected and restless for food, but a quick stop at Metro was a worthy distraction.

I can only describe Metro as the Serbian baby of IKEA and Costco. Picture that, and you’ve got it. Aneesa was able to grab some things that smaller grocery stores in her area didn’t have, while I stocked up on a decent amount of sweets and snacks to take home.

🧳 Day 4

Part of me was happy to “check off” the more “adventurous” part of my trip early on, as I expected that would be when I would have the most energy. I made the mistake of going out later for my run, as it was already pretty hot by 8:30am, and I had to deal with passing by a group of fat men smoking their lungs away on cigarettes, one of whom ran alongside me in mimicry for a few seconds to get a laugh out of his buddies. I’m relieved it wasn’t more serious, but it was yet another reminder that women around the world still have to fight for their right to run in peace, in yes, 2024…

Dropping off the rental car was another ordeal, but once I finally convinced the staff at Avis that the car was indeed full of gasoline and that the attendant at the second gas station I went to gave me the weirdest look when I tried to get him to fill up a car that was already full, things got better.

When Aneesa got home from work, we began our descent into the city and had fun exploring some of the major sights of Belgrade:

Monument to Stefan Nemanja

Hotel Moskva

Belgrade Fortress/ Kalemegdan

Within a matter of four hours, we experienced the whole spectrum of the weather system—extreme heat, tornado-like winds, intimidating black-grey rain clouds—who knew Belgrade was literally The Weather Channel??

Despite the bipolar weather conditions, we ate well in-between our stops. Turns out that Belgrade just so happens to be a hot spot for vegetarian Sri Lankan food?!

Sri Lankan food made vegetarian from Curry Souls

And topping it off with a sweet note from Russia was the best way to round it out!

Aneesa and I shared a plate of *Syrniki*, a Russian delicacy which consists of small sweet pancakes stuffed with quark, topped with condensed milk, white chocolate, and blueberries

🧳 Day 5

My second-to-last day was all about rest. After sleeping in for a bit and *skipping* my run, I thought I would venture out for another Turkish coffee, and maybe even find a local nail salon to get my nails done.

In reality, these plans turned out to be spending time at a local bar sipping on a cappuccino, not finding a nail salon despite attempting three locations, and quickly heading back to home base to enjoy a leisurely lunch with Chai (🐱).

Later in the afternoon, I joined Aneesa for a yoga class, during which I was “reprimanded” by the instructor for not be as flexible as I should be 😬. Of course, she expressed her concerns in a thoughtful way, and I told her I knew—there’s only so many hours in a day, and when it comes to exercise, it’s running or death (lol!). Still, I know it’s important to keep those muscles loose and limber, and this class was a nice (Serbian) reminder of that.

To end the day, I stopped at Maxi (another local grocery store chain) for snacks to take home, a new-to-me ice cream, and to (attempt to) pet street cats.

It was minimalistic, but I believe every vacation needs one of these days sprinkled in!

🧳 Day 6

And finally, it was the day of lasts.

My last run through Hajd Park. My last Serbian coffee (just another cappuccino though…). My last ride on bus 44…it was almost my last chance to pick up gifts!

On the way into town, I got into a conversation with a woman who was originally from Macedonia, but who did a foreign exchange stint as a teenager in the early 90s in Oklahoma of all places! When I shared my ties to the state, as well as Texas, she was gleefully sharing her teenage memories of visits to Dallas and San Antonio. Of course the Yugoslavia crisis at the time upended her eventual plans, but she seemed content to now be a denizen of Belgrade, on her way to the city center in search of Nikes for her demanding Gen Z teenage daughter 😅.

I on the other hand popped into Beogradski izlog (Belgrade Window) for a few gifts for friends and family. I learned during my trip that a lot of items sold in the Balkans are made in the Balkans. I was happy to see “Made in Serbia” printed on tags or cardboard boxes of many items I came upon during my trip.

It was also my last afternoon with Aneesa, and the first part of it was spent making custom lipsticks at Lipstick Lab. It was definitely a new-to-me experience, despite our hostess thinking that as an American, I should have participated in a number of make-up themed workshops…she didn’t know that she was talking to one of the few women in the world who sees make-up as the bane of her existence 😉.

That doesn’t mean this lipstick will go to waste however! I don’t mind wearing make-up depending on the occasion, so I see my custom stick lasting a long while, especially since I know that it is free of additives and chemicals that often sneak into US products. Gotta love Europe, lol.

After our workshop, we headed over to Pam’s place since she had bags of coffee to give away—I happily volunteered to take them off her hands!

She also gifted me these adorable pins from a Serbian artist

And finally, we ended the day with dinner at Prana, where I ordered a colorful tofu poke bowl and sipped on one of the best (peach) kombuchas I’ve ever tasted.

Technically, we ended the night with custard buns, coconut bunnies, and pastel de natas from a local Chinese restaurant—needless to say, I had a substantial end-of-trip meal!

🧳 Departure

And after one full and vibrant week, my trip was over. Aneesa helped me to reserve a cab at the crazy time of 3:45am, since my flight out of Belgrade was at 6:00am! A quick transfer in Amsterdam and I was home 10.5 hours later.

In the hours and days that followed, the happiness I felt all week began to dissipate as reality set in. My body was readjusting its circadian rhythm, which didn’t help as I slowly replied to work emails I had flagged for a time only relevant to Pree in the future.

I can honestly say this is the first trip in a long time that I felt at peace, happy with my surroundings, and blessed to have experienced a road trip adventure with three amazing ladies. I’m still in awe about all the events that took place for all of this to even happen. I strongly believe social media has terrorized our society, but it has also given me the opportunity to meet like-minded individuals from all across the globe. Being a former expat has also helped me to not feel shy to reach out and forge connections with other expat women in the same boat.

I also mentioned to Aneesa when I left that she’s the best type of person to travel with. I’m also inspired by her travels and how she’s able to explore places most people (especially in the Western world) fear setting foot in. There are so many more places in the world I need to explore, and knowing that other women have been successful makes me feel empowered and less inhibited.

So, even though Serbia is not Siberia, making this trip has opened so many doors to new adventures. After a fulfilling, nourishing, and fun-fiilled trip to Serbia…Siberia, among a plethora of other exotic locales I never paid much attention to until now, is most certainly on the table 😉.

Are you familiar with the Balkans and Serbia?

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I’ve had a love-hate relationship with solo travel over the years, but after a spontaneous weekend away in Maui back in February, several realizations have occurred to me:

I will forever be a summer baby/beach girl – I tried getting into seasons when I moved to Milan, to the point where I was actually excited to wear a winter coat after 20+ years in California where seasons were practically non-existent. However, my patience wore thin quickly after my first January in Italy. All of this to say that I thrive in environments that hover within the 60-80°F range, and that I prefer warm over cold. Hawaii—especially Maui—absolutely fits the bill.

If you are mentally craving alone time, that’s normal and should be honored – Until recently, I saw my independence/ease with doing things alone as a strength, but also as something I had to do because the people in my circle wouldn’t cooperate with me as much as I with them. In the latter part of my stay in Italy and in the early months of my move to Austin, I was trying (too) hard to avoid being alone, and to make sure I was always doing something with someone, even if it was a one-time meeting and I never heard from the person again (Bumble BFF shenanigans…). But lately? I don’t give a damn. In fact, I’ve been craving alone time, to do anything and everything I want without negotiation or compromise…maybe it is subconscious retaliation after trying so hard to control things that I just will never be able to control (i.e. flaky people 🙄).

The place where you choose to be alone absolutely matters – I got bored easily in Sweden and Vancouver, Canada. Freiburg felt like a relief, but I visited at a time when I was beginning to feel jaded with Europe (similar with Porto and Budapest—these cities were amazing, but the environment wasn’t enough to distract me into having blissful fun). Hawaii however has been a place that has effortlessly transformed my perspective and mood—first in Kauai with my sister, and then in Maui on my own. Maybe it’s the weather, the laid-back attitudes of the locals, the fresh food, the water, the time zone so distant from everyone else on the planet, or all of the above, but Hawaii hands-down is one of the few places I’ve visited on this lonely planet that makes me feel happy no matter what.

I’ll preface this recap to say I was far from feeling happy prior to the trip. I had a rough start to 2024, though not as difficult as prior years had been. Sudden changes at work, feeling misunderstood after events that occurred in late 2023, and the sudden drop in temperatures all contributed to my feeling stressed and angry. Womanly hormones and PMS/PMDD did not help either.

Maui came to mind when my mind harkened back to six months prior, lounging on a Kauai beach with my sister. I figured, why not head out to Hawaii again and why not check out a new island? If I wanted to do it, nothing was stopping me.

And that’s another thing—when you have the privilege of being free (be it in a financial-context, from family commitments, having a flexible work schedule, etc.), it really does feel more exciting to venture out alone. It also helps if the trip serves as a stand-alone adventure, and not necessarily a distraction from life’s challenges.

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Of course, I was busy with work up until the very last minute before my trip, and I had doubts as to why I even planned the trip! I had to time my layover just right to be available for a time-sensitive call on the Friday I was traveling. I was fortunately able to make it work, thanks to the Capital One Lounge at the Denver Airport, where I helped myself to complimentary cappuccinos and churro custard cups before boarding my flight to Maui.

Finally being in a cozy financial situation also makes solo travel more manageable.

When I arrived to Maui seven hours later, I actually didn’t feel too worn out! My Friday immediately became longer, and it’s as if being on island soil was the solution I had needed all along to melt away the stress that had been plaguing me for weeks.

Knowing I wanted to take it easy while away and on my own, I kept my planned itinerary light with just one major thing planned per day. Depending on how I felt, I would decide what I would do for the remainder of the day—if I had a jolt of energy, I’d be down to explore some more, otherwise I had no issues taking it easy and yes, sleep if I wanted to!

Landing at 4pm meant picking up my car (or should I say mini- van…that’s all they had left when I rolled in!) and grabbing dinner since Hawaiian establishments are notorious for closing up “early”. While I wanted to check out a vegan food truck that Google reported was in the area, I ended up with a tray of cheesy fries from a gyro truck because the vegan food truck in question was indeed closed.

Still, I couldn’t complain too much: gobbling up cheesy carbs in 75°F weather with other hungry Hawaiians and tourists on a Friday evening was quite enjoyable.

My guest room in the Airbnb I stayed featured in the top right

Driving over to my Airbnb room rental in the charming village of Paia (Pai-ee-ah) was only made gorgeous by the sunset that was occurring around 7pm. After checking in, I made my way to the small town’s “center”, bought myself a cup of ice cream, and proceeded to walk to the nearby beachfront.

No free falling coconuts. Just a cool ocean breeze and quiet for miles and miles.

I went to sleep soon after, since I had a 7 mile run planned before heading out to volunteer with a local organization the next morning. The run reminded me of my early morning wake-up calls when I lived in LA and Orange County. Somehow I had the stamina to wake up at 5am to squeeze in a 5-7 mile run before showering and going to lab. Now living in Texas, I struggle with having to wake up before 7am—I want to believe it’s my body responding differently in various time zones, but who knows!

After the run which was mostly run in pitch-black darkness, I got myself a coffee and then drove to Lahaina where the volunteering event was taking place. I had the opportunity to volunteer with Maul Cultural Lands, specifically by showing up on the Saturday morning I was in Maui to participate in one of their Maintenance Participation Days in Honokowai Valley.

Back in 1999 (lol), it was found that beneath extensive foliage, there were a vast number of archaeological sites that included homes, farms, trails and places of worship (heiaus) in Honokowai. Honokowai most likely vanished due to a shift of the islands’ economy to sugar plantations, and stream water was diverted for cultivation of sugar crops. Without fresh stream water to sustain the community, the village perished, and families had to abandon the valley. The founder—who I got to meet and work with, Ed Lindsey— founded Maui Cultural Lands to facilitate the restoration of cultural sites including Honokowai. The volunteer program is open to locals and visitors alike, so I met a fair mix of all ages and genders. I even met another female solo traveler visiting from Tampa, Florida!

The ride up to the valley was like being in Jurassic Park—a bunch of us hopped onto the back of a pick-up truck and were literally rolling around because of the unpaved roads covered in boulder-like rocks. It was an adventure for sure!

At the top, we spent the next two and a half hours going over safety protocol and getting to work. After pulling weeds, tagging indigenous plants that the group has been trying to promote the growth of, and getting a nature lesson from Ed, we were treated to lunch. It was a nice moment to relax and chat with everyone who had spent their morning working on a unified goal. My friend from Tampa and I exchanged numbers and were able to meet later that evening, so it was another situation where traveling solo without any pressure led to unexpected company.

Native fruits and potluck-style baked goods for our volunteer community lunch

I left that morning feeling fulfilled and proud that I got to engage with locals in a natural way, while contributing to a great cause. This volunteer activity was one of the anchoring pieces of my solo itinerary. In my opinion, “volunteering on vacation” makes the time away so much more memorable, especially if you are traveling alone. It’s a great way to meet others and bond quickly, since volunteer projects usually bring together open-minded and empathetic individuals. I mean, when’s the last time anyone saw a tech bro helping out at the food kitchen 🤷🏽‍♀️?

You can learn more about Maui Cultural Lands here, and even sign up to volunteer.

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I did spend that evening with my Tampa friend—a fun event in itself as we were trying to catch a hula show not realizing they’ve been cancelled since the fires—and we made the best of the night by walking over to Whaler’s Village which had tons of shops and restaurants. We settled on a poke restaurant (she had never had it before!) and we chatted about our careers, solo traveling, and even astrology on the long drive back to Paia in my soccer momma mini-van 😂.

I appreciated this new-found companionship, but I also relished the time I spent alone earlier in the day post-volunteering. I was able to select a lunch spot of my choosing without having to cater to others’ preferences. So, it was a GO for vegan!

As much as traveling with others provides convenience and some sort of comfort, I will never take for granted being able to type in “vegan near me” in Google anywhere I am traveling solo. It most often leads to delicious, nutritious, and filling veggie bowls with savory proteins, or “knock-off pulled pork” sandwiches made with shredded seitan drenched in BBQ sauce.

Vegan Caesar Bowl with Tempeh from AA Roots

“Pulled Pork” Sandwich from Earth Aloha Eats

I also enjoy sipping on local kombuchas and probiotic sodas. Finding new food and drink brands and having the chance to try them will always keep my the foodie in my heart happy.

If you are someone who lives to eat (like me, lol), I’m sure you can understand the beautiful freedom that comes with being able to pick what you want to eat when going out or traveling, or traveling with others who also agree with your palate. Not having the guilt the accompanies being on the “winning side” of a compromise is such a relief.

The next day brought about another fair mix of solo and group activities, however the latter still ended up feeling like a solo adventure. I first got my long run of 15 miles out of the way, mixing in steep Paia hills as well as beach views. I then made my way to Wailuku for my first snorkeling experience!

The company I picked was the first one that popped up on Google (Maui Snorkeling, lol) and overall, they were efficient from start to finish. It was about a three-hour trip in total: one hour sailing to Molokini Crater, snorkeling at Molokini, and sailing back. In this time, we were educated on safety protocol, got a crash-course in snorkeling, and even had a simple sandwich lunch on the way back.

I didn’t particularly bond with anyone in this group, though there were two other female solo travelers (one was a hippie-like local, lol!). There was a family of four (with two adult children) who were obnoxious beyond belief. Hey, there are some moments during solo travel where it’s best to just stay in your lane and not even try with some people.

I had a sliver of anxiety at the beginning, diving into cold water and figuring out how to breathe with the thingamajig in and around my face, but I eventually found my rhythm. While it’s not something that excites me as much as vegan food, I’m glad I had the chance to try it, and I’m even more glad that it was something I was able to tackle solo.

Of course I ended the evening with vegan food (that “pulled pork” sandwich from above).

My final planned event for my solo trip was a photoshoot with a local photographer. I found Michael on social media, and he was happy to take some fresh photos for my modeling portfolio. He was easy to work with, and not feeling nervous helped with the final product: I ended up with awesome photos to update my comp card with! Traditionally, he does family, couples, and wedding shoots, but Michael’s flexibility in helping me carry out my vision for a solo/modeling-oriented photoshoot made me feel genuine excitement for my solo trip to Maui…something I had never experienced before.

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Being solo in Maui in February, at a time when the rest of world was in the doldrums, was the best gift I’ve given myself this year. It’s now an example of what I would like my future solo trips to look like, although not everywhere I travel to can have temperate weather, ocean views for miles, and can keep me happy for no apparent reason.

I didn’t feel like this in Sweden or Vancouver, or even Porto, and I think it’s because I allowed myself to have a plan consisting of things I know I’d enjoy, while not fully committing to anything if I didn’t feel like it. I don’t think I have the secret formula for planning the perfect female solo traveler trip, but this one right here is getting me pretty dang close…

New tradition every time I visit Hawaii. I forsee more shave ice with mochi in the future <3

What was your most memorable and fun solo trip?

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My 2023 was a year that might as well have been three. Harrowing, exciting, relief, and sorrow—some things fell so perfectly into place, and others threw me for a rollercoaster-like loop.

Last year felt like a whirlwind and because of that, I never really had time to reflect or process events (good and bad) in a timely manner. But recently, my body and mind have forced me to slow things down and retreat within myself. Only now do I have the patience to pen these thoughts down, along with seeking therapy again with the hope of starting a new healing journey.

I am proud and grateful for all the things I have accomplished and gained in the last year, but I would be lying if I said everything was perfect. There are so many traumas from childhood to present-day that I have been able to cope with or quash in order to survive as a high-functioning and high-achieving misunderstood woman with depression, but I do want a fair chance to finally heal.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

A country somehow loved by many will unfortunately never be loved by me. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake away the trauma I endured (maybe one day, I did recover from an eating disorder and I never thought that would happen) and at the same time, I will never be silent or afraid to speak up about it.

I can go on and on about how my experience in Italy was so distressing (and I have through written and audio mediums, lol), but what currently stands out the most is how much it has dampened my ability to enjoy neighboring countries too.

Almost a year has passed since I left without a second glance, but even with the comforts of home softening the corners of memories that were once so sharp and rough, my recent trip to Portugal/Barcelona in December 2023 was an odd experience for me mentally. I still felt tired, and seeing things like buildings and words and church squares that reminded me of Italy (what one would expect amongst other Latin/Southern European regions) unintentionally opened up mental wounds that hadn’t quite healed yet. This seemed so bizarre, as I had just been to Porto earlier that year, praising that it had been “so different from Milan in all the best ways!”. What happened?

All of these current emotions can be due to a mix of things. There are my personal traumas from living in Italy, but I could also be culturally bored with having lived there for so long, and that influencing my experience in other parts of Europe I thought I would enjoy better. There are so many variables at play here, but I will never be Italy’s biggest fan, that’s for sure.

Sintra is my new favorite Portuguese town. While I wish that each moment of this trip had been filled with blissful cheer, feeling tired and triggered by environmental elements out of my control happened to sting wounds that have yet to completely close…

I can permanently straighten my hair, paint my nails, and pay for his round-trip ticket across the Atlantic, but that doesn’t mean he will love me again.

No one likes talking about a break-up, because it feels like the biggest form of failure—especially if you’re the one that didn’t want it to happen. But I always prioritize honesty, and we need to be more open about our experiences instead of holding it all in… which hurts even more.

There is one person I will always associate my time in Italy with. For a little over two years, he was “my rock” in Italy, and like most relationships, we had our good and bad.

Up until October 2022, I thought it had been mostly good? I felt like I was sacrificing a lot for him from my end, especially in regards to finding a better job in Italy when my toxic post-doc environment began to sand me down raw. At the same time, I thought these sacrifices were investments for a bright “happily ever after”…one would hope that’s how it would go, right?

One Thursday after an exhausting train ride home from work, I stopped at a local poke shop to pick up dinner and casually began my weeknight routine of lounging in bed until falling asleep to Real Housewives. However, I received a long text that rocked that night and beyond—essentially, he had fallen out of love with me.

It was the first time in years I “pulled an overnighter” though I’d rather it had been for work than a mental crisis. The first people I messaged were my sister and best friend, and soon after I was bawling to my dad, the few people in my support system who seemed a million time zones behind.

While I would never act on hurting myself, in all transparency, those thoughts did pass. 😔

From that night onwards until our “official” break-up almost 8 months later, anxiety, insecurity, sadness, low self-esteem, and dejection ate away at me, even if I could pretend everything was fine for those I needed to be fine for (people at work). I didn’t want to hyper-focus on his every move, online and off, but how could I feel calm when a bomb was just dropped on me? Being around him every time he opened his phone set my heart racing. I knew I had no control in this situation, but I was still figuring out my exit plan. In the meantime, I had to at least try to “win back” the love he once had for me…I had to troubleshoot, the one thing in my life I’ve never lacked motivation in.

I consider myself a practical person (hence, my fervent application submissions for jobs back home when I realized my personal life in Italy was looking dire), yet part of me also wanted things to magically fall back to how they once were.

But even when I had the greenlight of a decent job to return home to, and he agreed to visit me in my new city for a week—to give it one more chance—my gut told me this was it. Two days after he arrived, I couldn’t help but cry at least once every day until he left, because it was it.

It truly was an odd experiment looking back. Heck, it could have been part of a reality show on failing relationships (will a one-week getaway end with him saying, “yes, I’ll stay with you now”?). At least the relationship ended on my turf, but that didn’t mean the uncontrollable sobbing would automatically stop.

With time, the darkness my mind was clouded with slowly dissipated. Distractions (both desired and unnecessary) have helped me to move on the best I can, but that first relationship (when it fails) will always leave a scar.

I used to spend a lot of time here…now it truly does feel like a memory.

Things can be “good”, but if the underlying trauma hasn’t been processed, depression will rear its ugly head again.

Speaking of distractions, I dove headfirst into doing what I could to move onto the next (and hopefully happy) chapter. Fostering a cattle dog, attempting new creative pursuits like modeling and dance, finally landing my dream job (relevant to my education), attempting new relationships (both friendship and romantic), and living a comfortable life thanks to the financial perks of said dream job happened in a matter of months. Like I mentioned earlier, it was like living multiple lives in a matter of a year.

Yet even if good things happen, I still yearn to grow and achieve. If I put in the effort and I don’t see the pay-off, it’s hard to be happy with things as they are. Anger has given me a lot of power in the past few years. I’d even say it was my only way to survive for so long, which is difficult for most to relate to.

In moments when I’ve felt like no one is in my corner, I’ve retreated. Retreating isn’t failure—it means it is time to rest. The world can be cold and heartless a lot of the time, and we only have so much energy. It’s normal to want to be around people, but to also desire alone time.

Maybe it’s the recent freezing temperatures, but nothing sounds more exciting than staying in bed all day, focusing on restoring my energy versus how to please others.

I kicked off 2024 being as selfish as possible – looking out for my energy and not wasting time on people who can’t put in the same effort as I do, fostering a PUPPY, going on more spontaneous trips, even if I have to go solo and for “short” periods of time

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I like to give myself a word for each year. Normally I “feel” it going into the year, and for 2024, I feel “restoration” is my guiding word.

“Some common synonyms of restore are refresh, rejuvenate, renew, and renovate. While all these words mean “to make like new,” restore implies a return to an original state after depletion or loss.”

At 31 years old, I’m not sure what that original state really is. When I was 10? But I have a stronger urge to be selfish, in a way that I put myself first like never before. I think that’s the first step to restoration…

I see it manifesting as making spontaneous trips or doing activities I want to do without seeking permission or asking/thinking about others first. It’s leading the pack without worrying if there is a pack behind me. It’s preparing to be alone, but open to genuine company.

It’s no surprise that my body and mind want to slow down after a high intensity year. I need every morsel of energy I have (which is not a lot to begin with) to contribute to this restoration process.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all this, the only person I can truly count on for a lifetime is me: I’ve got to give her all I’ve got if I am going to have anything left to give.

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The more that time passes, the more I feel empowered with each decision I make that checks off the following:

I am doing something I love, or if it is something I’ve never tried before, I’m giving it my best effort to make it something I love.
I am putting myself first—my wants, my needs—absolutely first.
I am able to share experiences with others—relationships old and new—to create memories I’d rather keep than fancy, expensive materials.

My recent trip to Austria (Vienna and Salzburg) checked off all of this and much more, which is probably why it was one of my most favorite trips of 2023 to-date. It wasn’t Austria that made it perfect: while it was a great backdrop, the reasons I went were what made the trip so wonderful.

As I mentioned earlier this year on the blog, I left Italy after almost three years in April 2023 to return home to the USA. What followed were events (both negative and positive) that severely impacted the direction my life would take.

Through it all, I emerged like a phoenix, stronger and better than before, while still allowing myself to grow. Finally landing my dream job (at least related to financial stability and my educational background, lol) has helped me to finance a lot of the things I’ve been doing and planning as of late. And that includes travel. I know that not everyone can make “short and frequent” trips across the globe as they wish, so I am grateful for a salary and life situation (i.e. no kids) that bolsters a lifestyle where I can put myself first.

Since I work for a company that offers an amazing time-off plan (vacation days along with personal days), my boss encouraged me to use the personal days I had accumulated since my recent hire for time off in 2023, rather than dip into my vacation days since those could roll over into the next year. Thanksgiving break (normally the fourth Thursday and Friday in November) was the perfect opportunity to head back to Europe, almost seven months since my departure.

To be honest, I would not have visited Austria on my own. In a lot of ways, I feel “Europe’d out”, in the sense that if you visit a region frequently enough, it all starts to blend together and feel boring, I went for my dear friend Glenis (check out her Pour the Coffee episode!), one of the few souls I bonded with during my time in Italy, since we both faced challenges during our time there. I was looking forward to seeing her, and learning why Austria was able to capture her heart and become her new home in just a matter of months!

There were a few curious critics who didn’t understand why I’d make such a “long” trip for only a “short” time. “Aren’t you going to visit your family for Thanksgiving?” was the main question I had to respond to while secretly rolling my eyes. One of the reasons I’m glad to be based home again is because I can see my family any time I want. Now, a three hour drive will fix any domestic homesickness I have, versus when I was living in Italy and felt obligated to use my Christmas and summer holidays to spend 2-3 weeks with my Dad especially.

Like I said earlier, I’m grateful for factors that allow me to “pick up and go”, as I acknowledge most people can’t. But for me, three days in Austria was plenty, and it was an effective way to 1) take advantage of a national holiday break, 2) see my dear friend again after many months, and 3) travel to a new country and visit new cities.

In the three full days I spent on Austrian soil, Glenis and I spared no minute. We talked, laughed, explored, ate, drank, and reminisced on how much our lives have changed in less than a year, in mostly good ways.

Highlights from the trip included:

Ditching a walking tour halfway to go exploring on our own, only to discover a unique art gallery and associated café, where we met an amazingly kind server and coffee-break’d with some of Austrian’s oldest—don’t ask me why we were the only millennials in Dorotheum’s coffee shop 😅.
Eating dinner at IKEA near Westbahnhof (twice, lol) and being the only two people in the entire IKEA cafeteria to receive chocolates from Santa.
Cracking ourselves up at Motzart’s museums in Salzburg: who knew two modern-day women in their early thirties could resonate so much with a musical prodigy of the 1700s who ended up a fumbling gambler with approximately 42,000 euros in debt, lol 😶.
Using the metro, tram, and European trains again, remembering to be thankful for the convenience a car provides.
Poking fun at the Italian influences while reconnecting my German language neurons—my passive high school German still seemed pretty fresh!
Tons of inside jokes and deep belly laughs—absolute tons 💕.

Three days was just enough for me for this particular trip, but it is always difficult to say goodbye to a good friend, not knowing when the next time we will reunite will be. This is one of the reasons why I don’t mind traveling for others, if I can afford it. It’s something I mentioned to Glenis and to others in recent times: if someone I know from outside the US is coming to the US, I will gladly hop on a plane and make a meet-up happen, regardless of the city they will be in. Likewise, I now try to tell anyone I know in a region I’m planning travel to that I’m coming, in case they can meet up with me.

This sounds like a lot of work, and I guess that explains how far I will go to keep relationships I’ve created alive. I know most don’t see it as a priority, feeling content with the 2-3 main people in their local lives and maybe the occasional invite to the destination wedding of a college roommate. For what I’ve experienced, my view on travel makes sense for me, even if it is not the norm. And hey, it also makes me an amazing friend if you wish to have me as one 😏😉.

While it would be great to have a friend in every country on the planet to help guide me, as well as provide good company, I know there may be places I may have to venture to on my own. Sometimes it’s easier to book the tickets and go versus coordinating schedules and budgets, even if that means sacrificing a shared experience with a good friend or loved one.

A Texan in Salzburg—❄❄❄ the picture does not reflect how cold I was!! ❄❄❄

Next year, I plan to travel for work of course, but I also hope to squeeze in more trips to see old friends or friends I’ve connected with virtually, but have not met in person yet. It would be amazing to check off new countries, let alone new continents—Australia, Africa, and South America are still places that I have yet to explore.

I’m used to living a life not normal by any standards, and I love it. Cheers to many more travels, on my own terms ❣

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Back in August, my sister and I traveled to Hawaii for the very first time. Our island selection was purely based on which was cheapest to fly into on our selected dates from Austin, Texas—travel planning at its finest 😂.

Lucky for us, one of Hawaii’s most beautiful islands—Kauai—was the “cheap” one to fly into from the bunch. When I started sharing our travel plans with others, everyone who had been could not stop commenting on the jungle lure and true South Pacific vibes this particular island had to offer.

Even with the hype, my sister and I still waited until a few days before to finalize our itinerary, and given the nature of my job at the time, I was remote working for part of the trip. Despite all of this, we had no complaints, but there were moments I couldn’t help but mock regarding our so-called “vacation life”.

Read on as I poke fun at our adventures, as “lazy girls in Hawaii” 🤙

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Rent a car under your name, but have your sister drive you around because you get “chronic headaches” and super sleepy after meals. I am the worst traveler in that my body malfunctions and/or shuts down during travel. I used to be able to knock-out on planes as a kid, but the smaller seats and barbarians who like to recline their seat way too far prevent me from accumulating precious sleep hours. Instead, I arrive to my destination with jet-lag induced headaches super hungry, and upon eating my first meal, I can feel my eyes start to droop. Definitely not safe if you need to drive around, so thank goodness for my travel partner sister, lol.

We got “upgraded” to a bigger car. It definitely was roomy and it did have good AC, which was super important for us lol.

Participate in Kauai Humane Society’s dog field trip program by selecting the oldest, least energetic dog, only to have him pee on your beach umbrella. In my defense, I wanted to take out their cattle dog. but he got snatched up right away. I also didn’t want to push it since my energy levels were pretty low after a long day spent at the beach, fully exposed to all the UV, the day before. Brockstein seemed great for a while…until I decided to take a break in the water and leave him with my sister for ten minutes. Of course he had to relieve himself on the beach umbrella and our only towel, of course…

Nah, but he was a sweet soul. It pains me every time I see a senior dog at the shelter, knowing that the likelihood of them being adopted and living their final years in a home with a loving family is statistically low :/. Out of all the things we did in Kauai, I highly recommend incorporating this into your itinerary.

Stock up on local snacks to save money and take a break from the few vegan-friendly places on the entire island. The one thing I did do research on prior to our trip was the vegan foodie scene. Kauai does have a couple of intriguing vegan cafes and restaurants. Our favorite ended up being The Spot close to where we were staying (Princeville), which offered all sorts of intriguing foods and drinks, including an acai bowl that was drenched with macadamia butter—my sister loved that.

When our wallets needed a break, we trekked to some of the local markets and kept an eye out for snacks in the $2-3 range (that’s cheap by Hawaiian standards). These Noms snacks and of course, Hawaiian Host chocolates featuring macadamia, were sensible choices.

Use work meetings as an excuse to have your sister get breakfast for you—hey, give her your credit card cause she’s not your maid! I was in contract-role that prevented me from taking a paid vacation during the time of our Kauai vacation, so I decided to work the days we were there so that I could fund the vacation 😂. To me this isn’t a bizarre concept, being a millennial professional who has lived through the COVID-era. I wasn’t hula hooping over the fact I had to be up at 5am to attend meetings, but at least I finished at 1pm local time, and that gave us plenty of time to vacation. It’s all about balance, ya’ll.

These delicious beauties were a find from my sister—her Holey Grail discovery was theeee best

Let your sister shop to her heart’s content because you’d rather take a nap in the car. My sister is a shopper, I am not. All of her friends far and wide were gifted with trinkets from our travels. Most of my friends didn’t even realize I was in Hawaii until it popped up on their social media. If I don’t even know what I want for myself, how could I begin to figure out gifts for others? Instead, I entertained myself with naps in the car and taking on the title of chicken anthropologist—the Hawaiian kind are worthy of their own reality show.

While she shopped, I devoured native delicacies like shaved ice

Make at least one day a dedicated beach day so you can have your mandatory summer vacation pics for Insta. This summer, I wore a swimsuit four times. I can’t even recall the last time I had a summer where I wore a swimsuit more than once…given that I am an August baby, I know that’s pitiful. At least I wore my swimsuit in Hawaii twice, and it took an incredible amount of effort to do just that. My sister was a great photographer, and I paid the favor back. Now we have proof that we vacationed in Hawaii, even if it is “basic”.

If you have to chase down a beach umbrella blowing in the wind at Poipu, it will look comical AF so make sure your sister has her camera out to capture the ridiculousness of it all. Poipu is an oft-cited, well-known area of Kauai, but it wasn’t our favorite. It was too far south from where we stayed in Princeville (we found North Shore in general to be more our vibe, and Hanalei was our favorite beach). We chose to not go for a swim that day, but to lounge with a beach umbrella sans doggo.

If you’re into surfing and high tides, Poipu is definitely more your style. There were a lot of swimmers and surfers hangin’ ten and it honestly looked like a lot of fun. Unfortunately for us this meant a lot of wind, and at one point, our beach umbrella was literally ripped from the sand, tumbling through the air. After having run a speed workout that morning, my legs were incredibly sore, yet I pushed (as well as tripped and plodded like a buffoon) towards the umbrella hoping to grab it before it stabbed someone in the eye. Luckily I got it, but I wish I had a video to share. By the end of it I was laughing while also trying not to collapse—it was too hilarious a sight.

Don’t see any sea turtles (honu) even though everyone says you will. Stalk chickens instead. I didn’t see any turtles (except for one that looked beached at Poipu 😬), but I did see ALL the chickens and as I stated earlier, their lives are WILD.

My first day in Kauai is mostly chicken pics

If you start to miss Texas by Day 4, don’t worry, you are not going crazy. You just thought you would be able to escape humidity for a bit but the Garden Island laughed in your face. While the intermittent rain was refreshing, the stabbing heat and humidity that followed right after was not. Running through said heat and humidity was something I was accustomed to coming from Texas, but it was also something I was trying to escape from, LOL.

Do not go hiking at Ho’opi’i Falls. It will not take 20 minutes and you will not be amused by the guava on the forest floor. Why is it every time I go hiking with a family member or close friend, it is always a disaster 😂? Someone didn’t bring water, someone didn’t wear the right shoes, someone is too tired…okay, a lot of the times it’s me 😅, but I like to thank running for my endurance/fitness, both physically and mentally.

In addition to a beach day, my sister and I wanted to check off at least one waterfall hike, and Ho’opi’i sounded reasonable. Unfortunately it wasn’t, as the paths were wet and muddy from the morning rain, and the trail (despite being supposedly walked upon by locals and tourists alike) was difficult to decipher. As we motioned further and further into the “jungle”, every time we would spot someone heading back we would ask them how long it took to get to the falls. “Ummm, twenty minutes?”. Perhaps the next “influencer” who makes a trip to Kauai can make a reel about this: how long does it really take to get to Ho’opi’i Falls?

Eventually we made it, and absolutely captured it on camera.

Don’t be surprised if you are sick for two solid weeks post-vacation, eye infection included. This is literally what happened to us. Within a day from returning, my sister and I had varied symptoms for what we could only conclude to be some type of flu. I had intermittent fevers, and eventually a cough/sinus problems for about a total of two weeks post-trip. We were COVID negative, but the weird part was the eye infection that my sister developed at the tail-end of her sickness ordeal. So, be prepared for any tropical bugs, I guess?

And last, but not least, watch me whip and watch me NENE!! If anyone gets the reference, you are a true millennial, but nene are in fact Hawaii’s national bird! It was a gorgeous sight to see them on my runs, relaxed on their land, against the backdrop of lush green and bright blue.

Would you be a “lazy girl” in Kauai or more adventurous 🐢?

Not Siberia, Serbia

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That Time in Hawaii I Loved Being Alone: A Guide for Super Solo Fun in Maui

Restoration

Travel: On My Terms

A Lazy Girl’s Guide to Kauai