Written: June 2020
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The COVID-19 pandemic is something everyone living on this earth currently will have a story for. Shared frustrations, sadness, lessons learned, and renewal are only a few things we will be seeing documented in copious books, documentaries, social media captions, TV shows, movies, and blog posts (like this one) to come.
For me, corona initiated a transition for the world that was in line with my life’s transition. Of course, corona has significantly delayed my sojourn to Italy, but it also brought with it an opportunity to work remotely without the usual stressors, and to spend an indefinite amount of time with family. Things that I am especially grateful for.
In the weeks leading up to stay-at-home orders and lockdowns, I already felt uneasy—in my living space at the time, the uncertainties of my work visa for Italy, and the emotional ennui of my life in general. Here I was, eager to start anew in a foreign land, ready to make friends and forge new relationships while advancing my career, when the one thing that gets in my way opposes all of that.
Given my life circumstances at the time, I got the okay from by boss to work remotely since my current lab work conveniently allowed for it. And knowing the tribulations of my living situation, my Dad was eager to have me stay with him for a while, and I was more than happy with that—even if it meant taking a hiatus from Cali things and joining him in Oklahoma.
Los Angeles looked so forlorn anyways…
I spent the first week of LA county’s stay-at-home order moving things out from my residence at the time and wrapping up as much things as I could in-person in the lab. In late March, I arrived in Tulsa, on a lucky flight that hadn’t been cancelled…
I felt so relieved to be in a place where I was free to be myself and feel safe and comfortable for the first time in a long time. However, it took me a while to really get used to the whole idea that everything would be shut down/restricted. It got to the point where even tennis courts were chained up, which came as a disappointment to my Dad and I.
At least the outdoors weren’t “cancelled”.
In the earlier weeks of corona, my Dad and I spent a good amount of time getting “lost” on hikes on local trails, like Turkey Mountain.
Turkey Mountain is a whole ‘nother world on the outskirts of Tulsa. It’s a protected local wildlife/trail area, and even though we made our hikes at high noon, the trails had a fair share of bikers, dog walkers, and runners—conscious of abiding to the 6 feet apart ideal.
Fortunately, I was able to make a lot of time for running during this time, but of course, not without nagging Achilles’ tendon pain, plantar fascitis, and other aches/pains. But because this was a rare opportunity of having “extra” time to devote to fitness, I wanted to make sure running was a priority again.
Speaking of running, this was the first time in all of my Tulsa visits that I managed to run consistently in other places besides Riverside (another local trail that is popular). I found my favorite running route to be very close to (my parents’) home.
A) Because there is something about long, distant roads that makes a runner’s heart swoon,
and B) the animals one runs into are A-DOR-A-BULL (get it? 😅)
I’ve stopped for more dogs, cows, cats, goats, rabbits, caterpillars, butterflies, and spiders mid-run than ever before 😂.
When you think of Oklahoma, hills and mountains don’t really come to mind, but the La Fortune Park area in Tulsa is full of them. The park itself is hilly, so it can serve as the setting for some awesome hill repeats.
The park is right next to St. Francis Hospital, on Yale which is literally a giant hill. I like running up Yale, and crossing the street onto a huge green lawn. If you make it to the top, you’re in for some nice views of the city.
Staying with family also meant constant access to home-cooked meals. So grateful for a Dad who enjoys cooking, as much as he loves sharing morning coffee, mid-morning PB&Js and more coffee, and tea and mini samosas before heading out for evening tennis games or walks.
As time progressed during the stay-at-home orders, I wasn’t sure how things would ultimately be for me eventually…yes, I had plans for Italy, but I had my days where I doubted if that was going to even happen. April was just a chaotically somber month on a global scale…
All that running in April also led to a bad Achilles tendon injury in my left foot, which made me turn to a local podiatrist for laser therapy. It was an annoying 6 weeks of having to deal with nagging pain on runs, and limiting mileage in general.
Though that didn’t stop me from having fun on the runs I did go on that month.
Despite the nagging pain, the doc said it was OK to continue running if I watched my mileage and pace. I took this as an OK to continue on with my exploratory nature, running a reasonable distance to local parks and back.
Veteran’s Park ended up being one of my favorites since I ended up befriending two ducks and a geese family—momma, poppa, and a fuzzy babe!
As weeks wore on, I got used to the lifestyle I was living, the routine I had, and the flexibility of my schedule. So much so, that when I finally got confirmation about being able to plan for Italy again, I started to feel a tinge of heart-brokenness. Life was picking up again, but it was going to break my heart to leave my Dad after such an unexpectedly long, (mostly) blissful stay.
The week before leaving, we drove down to Texas for some personal errands, but also used it as an excuse to meet up with my sis in Austin—since with Italy back on the table, I wasn’t sure how soon I’d be able to see her again!
We were only with her for about 3 hours in the evening, but we got plenty of things done during that time—like, acquainting ourselves with her cat Autumn, and having a to-go vegan dinner from Counter Culture, which we ate outside at a picnic table in horridly humid weather, accompanied by mosquitoes…
It was a short, but sweet evening. I felt a little depressed after we left my sister, since I knew my stay with family would be coming to a definite close. It’s the biggest tease life can throw at you—the opportunity to stay with loved ones for an indeterminate amount of time, followed by an abrupt parting.
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Before corona, I was exhausted with life. I was tired of Los Angeles. I was tired of being surrounded by people who lacked ambition, and those who constantly complained about what they didn’t have. Their selfishness and callous attitudes were rubbing off on me, and my tolerance for human beings was at an all-time low. I found solace in spending time with shelter animals because they lifted my mood back up after a hard work week.
I was looking forward to leaving for Italy because in my mind, it was a ticket to a new, exciting experience. I was craving adventure in all aspects, and I wanted to drop everything and just fly over!
During corona, I put all of these thoughts on hold. The circumstances initially fueled my disgust for humankind further. I felt like there was no hope to be had in people. I was fortunate to be able to work remotely and live comfortable with family, but not knowing the outcome of anything was aggravating, to say the least. Seeing the cases rise in Italy for weeks was discouraging. I had days that I pondered over “back-up plans”. I put learning Italian “on hold”. Motivation was at an all-time low…
After (?) corona (perhaps I should say, when Italy was ready for me…), I had to put my big girl pants on again. After spending almost 3 months of quality time with my Dad—something I hadn’t done since 2013/2014 before starting my PhD (!!)—I was not enthusiastic about going out into the world again…especially one that was battered by the aftermath of a pandemic.
The truth was, when people asked me afterwards if I was “SUPEREXCITEDABOUTGOINGTOITALY?!”, my heart wasn’t in the “yes” that was my reply. Obviously, months of unplanned events had an effect on my thoughts and outlook for the future.
My enthusiasm would take time to grow again, and I had to accept that. At least I had my good health in all of this 💛.
How has the COVID-19 pandemic changed your outlook on life?
