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If I currently wasn’t involved in an active job search after two and a half years abroad, I probably wouldn’t be spending so much time on LinkedIn. But since I don’t have IG anymore, it’s also become my “social media substitute”—one that is still filled with snark, but at least it tends to hide behind a thin veil of professionalism.
Everyone knows I’m dying to return to the US and that I’m not Italy’s (nor Europe’s, to be honest) biggest cheerleader in the least. But even with my strong opinions, I acknowledge they are opinions, and respect that others may disagree with me (I just ask that they hear me out, and respect my opinions based on my lived experiences as well).
Welp, even with my open-mindedness, I still come across the occasional, stubborn person who can’t accept the reality that people can disagree with each other. With one particular person, it resulted in a heated exchange on “work–life balance” in Northern Europe versus North America. After going through what I’ve been through in the past few years abroad, and becoming a “born again American” so to speak, I ended up engaging when I normally wouldn’t have. I had to stand up for the motherland 🇺🇸
I did not care that this person had a different opinion than me, but apparently this person made it their mission to convince me on a weekend morning that I was wrong, wrong, WRONG. And when dealing with people like that, you’ve got to be the bigger person and exit the room with your dignity still intact.
Indeed, this little bit inspired the blog post you’re reading right now 😏.
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During my time abroad, I’ve often had to roll my eyes every time I heard someone criticize the US with a statement along the lines of, “all Americans are overworked and that there is absolutely no work–life balance in America”.
But the thing is, everyone is going to have a different definition on what “perfect” work–life balance would look like, so these blanket statements indeed don’t rub off so well…
When I was a PhD student, I was society’s definition of overworked and underpaid (there were phases during my PhD that, due to experiments and time-sensitive deadlines, I did work 60-hour weeks…). Weekends were scheduled around lab needs and not necessarily mine, but at the time, I felt pretty balanced overall.
Even though I spent long hours in lab, I still had time for marathon training, traveling and eating around SoCal, and even watching TV, haha! Would I have loved to not sacrifice federal holidays for mice? Yeah, of course, but I was smart enough to give myself downtime after periods of intensity.
“Perfect” work–life balance cannot exist because, life is not perfect. And if you are an overachiever, an innovator, a dreamer, a person who is never satisfied with the status quo, the standard definition of work–life balance just won’t fit.
Plus, despite what others may say, I strongly think that…
Your employer and context of work has a major influence.
Despite what others may argue, I firmly believe an employer has more influence over your work–life balance, regardless of what country they’re based out of.
Academic employers (in the US and Italy in my experience) have wanted every morsel of my time and energy. In one experience, I was left alone and it was on me to dictate work–life balance while getting my work done in a timely manner, while in the other experience, I was micro-managed to no end.
In my current role in Italy nonetheless, my work–life balance is top-notch according to society’s definition: I get two remote days a week of my choosing, I’m not micromanaged (just left alone to do my work in a timely manner), and I’m not bothered on weekends.
In my experience, it wasn’t the country where I worked that dictated how work–life balance would manifest, it was my employer.
Remote work has revolutionized the game.
Again, it will probably depend on your employer and context of work, but what’s stopping you from doing your workout during your lunch break, and eating lunch while catching up on emails?
And what’s wrong with finishing up a time-sensitive assignment at 8pm if you took a break in the late afternoon?
Some may argue that with remote work, there really are no limits. Technically you could work endlessly like my days in the lab, but that’s where my next point comes in…
As adults, we need to stand up for ourselves and our needs…
If you do have a 40 hour/week contract, then that’s what you have. If you find yourself working more than that regularly, is it really because you need to? Or are you afraid to bring up your concerns to your supervisor? Rather than complain to everyone but your employer about being overworked, has an attempt been made to address the issue with your employer?
…but we also need to make sacrifices to achieve our goals.
Depending on the industry and how high up you are in the hierarchy of a company, demands are going to change. A VP is not going to work 40 hours a week on the dot, but would we say they’re overworked, or are they just doing what is needed to get the job done (and getting paid luxuriously for it)?
Context is essential.
What would you really do with extra free time?
A lot of us comment on all the things we could do and accomplish if we had more free time and more time off from work, but if we’re honest about it, would we really take advantage of that free time to the fullest?
We say we’d spend more time with family, exercise more, finally get back to that hobby, go on vacation, but all of those things take work too. If ya’ll are like me, I bet you’d use that day off work to stay in bed, streaming yet another show while figuring out “treat yo’ self delivery” for dinner, versus actually checking things off the to-do list 😏.
Depending on the context of work, set hours per day don’t make sense anymore. Some days will require the extra grind, and others will be lax. As long as the job is getting done, why does it matter how many hours it took me to complete it? And when those lax days come around, take advantage of ’em!
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Despite many haters, there’s a reason why the US is so productive from an economic point of view. Can you imagine what would happen globally if the entire country took one month off every year like some European counterparts?
Work–life balance starts with us, and it’s not one size fits all. It’s up to you to decide what you need in your life, and find the employer (or perhaps go the self-employed route!) who best aligns with you.
Just my two cents. 😉