leaving instagram – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

Reading Time: 3 minutes

It’s been five months since I pulled the plug on @secondgendesi on Instagram.

I have a post explaining why here, but now that my bestie Christina and I are diving into the “pertinent” topics of today’s late 20s/30-something millennial on our new podcast Pour the Coffee, I thought it would be an interesting topic to cover through audio [click here to listen][listen on Spotify]!

Our “episode 2” covers exactly what the title of this blog post says, “It’s Okay to Not Be on Social Media“, and it is a *solo* episode featuring moi since Chrizz still has socials (lol!).

I actually recorded this episode several weeks before Pour the Coffee materialized. I had this sudden urge to talk about the topic in a free-flowing way:

“If you ask Pree for her social media handles, she’ll have nothing to offer you except the URL of her blog. In this solo episode, Pree talks about why she left a platform millions of people use for the sake of her mental health. She’ll go over…

[x] Her journey with the internet/blogging

[x] Her beginnings with Instagram as a food blogger

[x] Creating a new blog and Instagram in the early 2020s

[x] The red flags of the platform and toxic traits of “influencers” and niche accounts

[x] Why getting off social media altogether was the best for her mental health”

For those that want a written recap, I started writing about how I felt as soon as one week off the platform. Now with this blog post, it seems like an appropriate time to share!

How do I feel about leaving social media (i.e Instagram)?

Despite moments where I do feel isolated, I’m overall very proud of myself for leaving such a toxic environment. I think the biggest thing I gained was releasing unnecessary pressure of “following” people I didn’t want to follow. Despite so-called self-help “gurus” embracing the selfish notion of “look out for yourself” and “declutter your feed for your mental health”, I’m the kind of person who will always think about the other person affected.

When I had SGD on IG, it always put me in a funk whenever I saw someone I thought I had good rapport with (as much as one could have virtually) unfollow me. Towards the end of my IG stint, I even directly DM’d people asking why.

Yeah, I went there. Because it did bother me.

What is there to do with this newfound free time?

Lately, focusing on my job. Focusing on the next steps for the job I eventually want to land. Trying to enjoy things without worrying about others think…

…but it’s hard. Especially, when everyone around you is connected to social media in some form.

As much as I try to push people to go back to reading blogs (mine included!) and check in on my WhatsApp status if they’re *that* curious to know what’s up with me, it still hurts me to know people are okay with living life so attached to their phones.

Some days it’s easier to focus on creative projects, other days I just want to curl up and watch TV all day. Even if there is newfound free time because I ditched one unproductive source of consumption, it doesn’t mean I can be 100% productive with that newfound free time, and that’s okay.

Will I ever go back?

It will definitely depend on the purpose. Perhaps if my writing projects get anywhere and social media can help boost exposure, it would make sense at that point.

If I figure out a new niche or find something passionate about that I am motivated about growing, maybe…

But for now, I’m not compelled to “start over” and mutually follow people I don’t want to follow.

Nothing on that platform makes sense anymore. Pictures of frozen potatoes get more likes than fancy cappuccinos. Carousel posts with spelling mistakes somehow have hundreds of comments yet posts I made for a science education account rank low when it comes to engagement…

Instagram is a useful tool if you’ve got something to sell or promote, and it’s decent entertainment (I guess…) if you’re a passive consumer who doesn’t care much about “creating”. But becoming an “IG sensation” is not as easy as it was 10 years ago. The platform is heavily saturated, the algorithm is wonky, and it really does more harm than good to someone with earnest, but naïve intentions.

If you need some verbal company and want to hear my perspective on why I left social media, please give episode 2 of Pour the Coffee a listen! Let me know what you think in the comments!

Are you off social media/Instagram?

Have you thought about leaving? What makes you hesitate?

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Today’s world is beyond bonkers. If you don’t agree with me, can I join you under that rock 😅?

I’m one of those people who believes social media since Facebook has done more harm than good, and I pine for the days of Yahoo Messenger and (maybe, a little bit of) Xanga.

We would have definitely been friends in middle school, circa 2004, if you had a Xanga—chatterbox and embedded music, anyone?

The platforms we recognize as social media today I’m sure had humble origins, meant for people to use to keep in touch with friends, schoolmates, family, etc., but the realm as we know it has ballooned into a monster of competition, jealousy, money, and desperation. TikTok (of the Western world) is literally a poor man’s lecture series—short videos of people intimately facing the camera, sharing more beliefs than facts, constantly trying to reel in naïve viewers with shock value. Of course, we still have righteous individuals bravely trying to take space and fix the wrongdoings of others (scientific communicators on the platform, for example), but boy, the crazy ones still outnumber us!

Social media has made it easier to ensure we all know that everyone has an opinion. The question is, are opinions inherently “bad”?

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If you keep Google’s response in mind, I don’t think so:

In fact, they can be enlightening about someone’s life experiences, and can allow us to understand why they have those perspectives.

Take for example, my opinion on social media. Why do I think it does more harm than good?

As a scientist, I’ve seen the rampant spread of false information regarding scientific topics. The safety and efficacy of vaccines is a prime example of a topic where misinformation has spread like wildfire. It’s been infuriating for me to see the effect this has had on our world during the pandemic.

As a creator, the puppeteering algorithims of Instagram have been anything but helpful towards me. Along with being a scientist, I am a writer, and when I was first carving out my space on Instagram, I was having a tough time growing. I didn’t fit a “visual” niche. Writing is an art form that requires patience of the creator and reading the material that comes out of writing, requests patience of the consumer. Instagram, and other social media platforms, laud eye-catching pictures and short videos with shock value. It celebrates itself as an “entertainment” platform, but excuse me…

When did reading something not become entertainment?

I would imagine that celebrities, businesses, and “successful influencers” (that word makes me want to laugh and vomit at the same time…as if the number of followers you have dictates true influence?) would have a different opinion from mine, most likely because their experiences with social media has benefited them.

Same could be said for people who have personal accounts to keep in contact with friends and passively consume content. There is no “competition” on your end when you have the power to choose from what has been created for you.

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Along with my strong opinions about social media, I have strong opinions about other topics too. I know I will have people ready to high-five me, or people ready to whip out a list of arguments telling my why I’m wrong, but in either case, I welcome both.

Regarding my expat experience, I’ve had people question me why I’m so critical of Italy.

“Go back to America then,” I’ve been told aggressively.

But the thing is, these opinions were formed based on the experiences I’ve had. And the magical thing about opinions is, is that they can change too.

There are expats who’ve had an opposite experience from mine—welcomed with open arms, minor struggles they were able to laugh off, a more understanding support circle to help with the transition—who would probably offer a more positive opinion on living abroad in Italy.

All of our opinions are valid, because they are the result of rich and exciting life stories.

So when it comes to listening and sharing opinions, I think being reminded of the following helps with maintaining healthy discussions:

Opinions are the introduction to someone’s story, having the patience to dig deeper could perhaps foster a strong sense of empathy and trust.

Trying to “prove someone wrong” by telling them they are wrong will make them more staunch in their opinion. It’s always better to be the person who takes the high road and leads by example. A petty argument is never worth it.
Dangerous topics can lead to hurtful opinions. It takes a strong person to sit through words that may be triggering, but these hurtful opinions reveal a lot more about the person who harbors them. Choosing to drop the conversation is just as valid as choosing to forgive. This is a situation that definitely calls on us to remember that opinions can stem from painful experiences, and that we shouldn’t be quick to judge the person, but rather, understand why they have come to form those opinions.

In my opinion, opinions are OK for healthy discourse. We just have to be mindful of our reactiveness to them.