second gen desi experience – Page 2 – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

Pree March 15, 2023 Monza, Italy

Running in Italy: Run for Life 5km Time Trial

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If you’re new to the blog, I’m a runner. I’ve considered myself a “runner” since my first race at the end of 2012, so over 10 years now!

I used to write race recaps religiously in previous blogs of mine, but when I started with SGD, my focus changed. It was also right around the time COVID was at its peak so running adventures in Italy also took a back seat…

Since moving to Italy, I wrote about my running adventures when I felt like it:

⋆ Running Reflections

⋆ Running a (Half) Marathon in Italy

I ran a half marathon in October 2022 in Monza before the Houston Marathon a few months ago, but I wasn’t in the mood to recap that experience. After Houston, I’ve been trying to figure out what my goals are for the year and going forward. Needless to say, life is showing me tough love right now, and pursuing an active job search does make things difficult in planning for the long-term, including formidable races such as my next marathon!

So for the short-term, I’ve been working on maintaining moderate-to-high mileage throughout the week, and focusing on trying for new PRs in shorter distances like 5 and 10km. A local race in Monza called Run for Life took place in early March, and I thought it would be feasible to sign up for the 5km distance and see if I could break my PR from 2017.

Racing in Italy definitely has its pros and cons. Pros include cheap “inscriptions” (lol, registration) and “later” start times. Cons, for me at least, include lack of a strong running culture compared to the US, menial “pomp and circumstance” regarding packet pick-up and post-race freebies, carelessness when it comes to course organization for small, local races, and too much control over needing a health exam/doctor’s certificate and run organization registration to race “competitively”.

For this particular race, 14€ included registration for the 5k, along with a race shirt, drawstring bag, and ample coupons. They threw in a box of cough drops, and some Italian hard candies, but pickings were indeed slim!

While the early bird in me detests the fact that nothing in this country is up and running before 9am, especially on Sundays, I must admit that being close to the race and the latter start time compared to US races did give me the opportunity to sleep in until 7:30am 😂. It bothered me that I had to struggle to find a coffee shop open so “early” in the morning (please, Starbucks in the US is up and at ’em at 5:30am in a lot of places, haha!), but I managed to consume an uncharacteristic-of-me breakfast before the race—gasp! a cappuccino and brioche!

In the past, I would have been incredibly nervous about coffee before a race given previous *gastrointestinal discomfort incidents* but as my performance in the race would later suggest, it might have been a factor that helped me 😮?

I might have also had a morale booster that helped, since I was meeting up with a runner friend from a previous Italy race experience! When I made an attempt to organize a running group for expat women last summer, she was one member though she couldn’t make it to the run sessions I proposed. We ended up meeting for the first time in person at the Monza Half in October, and met again for this race.

She was coming by bus, so after my colazione and quick potty break at home, I made my “warm-up” to Monza Park where the race was taking place.

There wasn’t much to do when I go to the bag-drop off area. I didn’t have to check in a bag (just the one they gave me with my “free tee”), so I spent some time people-watching before my friend arrived.

Of course they had coffee and snacks available at the “corner bar” 😅

When my friend arrived, we did another warm-up (about 1 mile) before slowly making our way to the start. It wasn’t too cold, but I was eager to get moving since I didn’t bring layers (we runners warm-up once we’re moving…).

To pass the time, we took pictures at the start, when a guy approached us and asked if he could take a picture with us. It was indeed an odd request that we declined, but for me not a completely unsual one! Something similar happened with me and my sis a couple years ago on a family trip to Paris. The kicker was, my Dad took the photo without hesitation! So now there’s a random guy out there who has a photo with my sister and I at the Eiffel tower—awesome 😂.

Since I was running the 5km, forcefully grouped with the “non-competitive” runners (in Italy, if you don’t provide proof of registration with a runner’s club or organization, you can’t race “competitively”. Even if you do beast your competition, your time would not be considered if you don’t have proof of this registration. Technically, you pay a fee and move on, but it is an unnecessary hassle…), my bib didn’t come with an electronic tracker, and for this particular race, no one seemed to care how the 5kers dispersed themselves! I started with my friend but took off once my legs felt good. She was doing the 10k, and we agreed to meet at the bag drop-off after our races.

I went into the race not feeling like I would PR, only because I had to drop down mileage the week I was in Ravenna, and when honestly reflecting over my training, I had not put in much devoted time to speedwork since Houston.

But, my time suggested otherwise—I was one second off my 5K PR pace from 2017!

My PR pace for the 5k was actually achieved during a training run back in 2017, at 7:36 min/mi. At the race, I was able to get very close at 7:37/mi!

It would have been perfect, if I had actually crossed the finish line!! The idiots organizing the race didn’t communicate the course distances with their volunteers I guess since one of the volunteers had me keep running on the 10k path! I knew something was up when I saw there was no finish line in sight but all the tall trees.

I ended up stopping, cutting through a large lawn, and then jogging back to the bag-drop off in irritation!

Funny thing was, I ended up running a 10k including my warm-ups and this “irritation” run! 😂

My path should have been the yellow loop 🤦🏽‍♀️:

Despite the disorganization and not much TLC being shown for the 5k distance, I was very much happy with my fitness status based on my “personal” 5k time trial.

My friend finished soon enough, and after picking up our bags, we decided that we might as well hop into the growing line that apparently promised fresh arancia juice and a humble bag of snacks from a local grocery store chain, Coop.

Waiting for free stuff: an unified, international experience

By the time we got to the goods, the orange juice machine was acting wonky and the guy moderating the pick-up line was panicking in Italian, LOL. My friend and I managed to snag a few of the last cups, and then head on out.

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After the race, I managed to treat myself to a vegan lunch to-go and a nap, but the experience made me remember the local races I ran in the early 2010s, and how much fun the race as a whole was for not just the runners, but for all of their supporters.

At one local race in the Bay Area, my dad and I swiftly left the premises with 10 jars of Biscoff spread 🤣. Then there was the other time I won tickets to Dodger’s game, and another time where I woke up at 3am just to run a relay with my marathon team before the sun rose…

These races were literal events that motivated, and at times inspired, me to write the race recap posts of my past blogs, and is something I wish was still alive in the running community. Even in the US, the sample game isn’t what it used to be—I doubt my Dad and I would still be able to snag Biscoff jars at ridiculous quantities. Now we’d probabaly be handed a teeny spoonful and watched by hawks!

Even if there wasn’t fanfare for my 5k time—let alone the race in general—I came away incredibly happy and proud of my feat after six years! Since I was so close to breaking my 5k PR, I’m thinking of doing another 5k this spring, but will need to start thinking ahead to half and full plans too!

Happy with my time, but always wanting to improve!

Pree March 7, 2023 Ravenna, Italy

Millennialz in Ravenna

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I have been pretty successful in my last series of trips to “not go at it alone“.

Funny thing is, I have a solo trip coming up, but only because I figured that for some destinations—like Portugal—it’s best to just make it happen and not depend on others. Especially if RyanAir has a deal you can’t pass up.

I have few friends and a couple of acquaintances in the lonely city of Milan, and I have disclosed to these individuals that my time in Milan isn’t indefinite. Upon hearing this, one of my dear friends AM proposed the idea of doing a mini weekend trip within Italy together. We had talked about this before last summer, when I was putting in an effort to meet a lot more girls in an attempt to create a community for myself here (lol, okay then…). Even though a group trip never panned out, I’m glad that AM was still eager to be my travel companion!

One of her photo tags inspired the title of this post—we also talked about being millennials while on this trip, and if you know me, I will talk for hours about the 2000s to no end!

For our trip, we were thinking small—Siena, Udine, Cinque Terre/La Spezia—but then Ravenna was thrown into the picture and it seemed like a reasonable destination for an easy-going weekend trip within Italy. Round-trip train tickets for the end of February cost around 78 euros, but one of the train legs was on the “fast” Frecciarossa train from Milan to Bologna, and for some reason, our return ticket was on the pricey side.

Trains. You can’t live with ’em, you can’t live without ’em.

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We left on a Saturday morning, getting a coffee (of course) at Milan Centrale before our train to Bologna Centrale at 8am. Despite all the things that stress me about daily life in Italy, my morning ritual of a cappuccino plus something helps me survive on the daily. It’s rare that I have a morning without one, and if I do, I’m in the worst mood ever!

But even when pumped with the fuel a cappuccino provides, I can never be fully prepared for the things life in Italy throws at me: including personal space infringement…

AM and I were assigned seats apart from eachother for the first leg of our trip. I was blessed with this view for one hour. La dolce vita, amIright?

From Bologna, we took a shorter train (about an hour) to Ravenna, which is a seaside town located on the western coast of Italy by the Adriatic Sea. It’s a city filled with churches, Dante’s resting place, and mosaics.

Mosaics are literally everywhere. Some cute pieces close to the hotel we stayed at Hotel Mosaico.

We stayed at Hotel Mosaico, a conveniently-placed hotel within walking distance to the train station (although Google didn’t recognize the underground tunnel to access the station, so when we first arrived we walked “the long way” of fifteen minutes around the station and aboveground 😅). Our room definitely gave us the two separate beds we requested, but the size discrepancy was hilarious.

AM was kind to let me have the bigger bed, although I only took up 25% of the mattress, lol!

After checking in, we did my favorite activity every time I’m in a new place—walking around and taking pics of everyday activity, while walking to food 😂.

The city center is small, easy to walk around within minutes, but definitely has a warm and cozy feel to it even on a rainy day!

The ol’ street name on a plaque on the wall vibe was in full swing here also, but bedazzled with mosaic art:

For lunch, I’m glad AM was just as eager to try Amaranto as I was, a vegan restaurant that also served traditional dishes veganified. While I opted for a noodle curry (I was in the mood for something warm and flavorful), AM enjoyed her traditional cappelletti pasta with ragù (it was all vegan, even the ragù, though AM was convinced it was real meat, haha)!

With bellies full, we were hoping to check off some local landmarks from our list, but we found out that a lot of the local attractions have limited opening hours—including on weekends! So even though we were out and about at 2pm, we managed to make it in time to check out Basilica of St. Vitale but had to see a few other landmark churches in the area the next day.

Even though I’m not Catholic, and Italy is literally the birthplace of Catholicism, the mosaic artwork inside Basilica of St. Vitale is something that any cultured person can appreciate.

I honestly wonder if all these artists back in the day had some adrenaline craving—they had to if they were hanging upside down to paint or assemble flecks of glass together. Crazy guys!

Close to the basilica, there was a cute local artisan shop featuring mosaic gifts and souvenirs. I’m not a souvenir kind of person (photos are fine enough for me!), but I love walking through shops that scream the local themes—I find them more personable than the usual touristy spot or museum!

Workshop area in a place called Annafietta

Before heading to the beach (yes, in February), we stopped for a coffee at Mercato Coperto and then quickly stopped to check out the Battistero Ariani (we thought it was free entry, but there was a two euro fee of course!).

Hanging out at the beach was one of my favorite moments on the trip because AM and I transitioned back to teenage girl mode, haha! She found the perfect stick for carving our names into the sand, and we spent a good two hours getting a solid workout in from walking across the terrain!

Previous trips that had me detour the beach left me wasting time when it came to getting back to the city center. Ravenna was kind to us, in that the bus ride was a “short” 30 minute distance back to the train station. We took a winding way back to a convenient bus stop, but we made it back to the hotel in one piece.

After resting for a bit, dinner was on our minds. I was particularly ravenous, and I attribute that to our energy expenditure at the beach!

Surprisingly, we weren’t met with many options to choose from for dinner. We ended up going to Mr. Dante, a restaurant in the piazza that was literally empty at 8pm.

Ladies and gentlemen, how are you not starving at this hour?

I helped myself to the quattro stagioni without ham, so that left me with artichoke, olives, and mushroom. Oh, but it would have been a knock-out if someone had the guts to put onion and pineapple on this bad boy:

If this only had onions and pineapple! But I still gobbled it up nonetheless!

Despite the dark red color palatte and the all-Italian menu, the restaurant had a TV blasting music videos from the 2000s! What a great accompaniment for two millennialz having dinner 😂.

After gobbling up an entire pizza, I still had room for gelato! We walked around the piazza for a bit, and found out where the “cool kids of Ravenna” go out to hang on Saturday nights. They had a boombox and everything, and it was quite a hilarious sight.

My piccola gelato was a chocolate flavor with Smarties-like candies and an amarena (cherry) flavor on top. It started to rain when we finally got our gelato, but I will never say no to a scoop of ice cream!

It didn’t look like a lot but *trust me* it was.

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The next morning, we were met with a downpour. Heavy rain, brisk winds, everything. I wanted to go for a nice run around the city—maybe to the beach and back because you know, #longdistancerunner—but the weather was making it a challenge.

I ended up running underneath the covering of a police station (lol) and managed to get five miles in despite the horrendous weather conditions. It was worthy of a relaxing breakfast provided by the hotel. The pickin’s weren’t amazing in the savory department, but I managed to find “balance” even among the disproportionate amounts of sweets!

I made it work with bread, jam, cheese, a hard-boiled egg, chocolate muesli, and of course, a cappuccino. I absolutely love it when breakfast is included in a hotel stay…there’s something about a hotel breakfast buffet that makes you really feel like you are on vacation 😂.

Our train didn’t leave Ravenna until 2pm, so we had all morning and lunch to finish exploring.

S. Appolinare Nuovo was next, and is what made me realize that with all of these ceilings and artwork on said ceilings, one who is prone to neck pain should be wary of visiting Ravenna 🤣.

My face when looking at these ceilings during this trip lol

The ceiling work was stunning, but of course, you could tell time had a done a number to the building overall. Still, the mosaic work and its colors are striking!

There was an adjacent Dante exhibit, since the famed poet died in Ravenna. His tomb was actually nearby, and we were able to pass by it as well.

It was a proclaimed “quiet zone”.

Our last stop for the trip was Museo Arcivescovile, which AM and I agreed that it was our least favorite of everything we saw.

It was the most “technical” of them all, literally fitting of its name.

While the ceilings were yet again pretty, many of the items on display got…repetitive 😅.

Needless to say, we were more than ready for a proper lunch before making the long journey back to Milan. AM suggested at the start of the trip that we make it a priority to seek out piadina (essentially a flatbread sandwich) as one of the meals during our trip. I’m always happy to indulge in local favorites as long as there is a vegetarian-friendly option.

But piadina and I have had a tricky history. I didn’t realize that traditional recipes call for lard, or strutto, when making the bread, and this was something I found out months after moving to Italy 🙄.

I may be “that girl” who has to ask at restaurants “do you make this with animal fat?”, but a smart restaurant owner knows that with respect and acceptance of all dietary needs comes moneyyyyy 😂.

So we had to pass on another “famous” piadina spot that was open and ended up at Pasticceria Ferrari instead. It was our third pick, and the ambience was reflective of that—a cafe with an old 70’s feel to it with dim lighting and confusion among its menu. But at least we each had our piadina, since they had vegetarian-friendly ones made with olive oil.

Piadina with squacquerone cheese and rucola

We took our time with lunch, and made our way back to Ravenna station. Of course we had almost an hour to kill, and given the dilapidated state of the station, there was no proper seating area. Of course…

Our ride back was entertaining at least: rowdy Ravennean teens blasting Italian hip hop all the way to Bologna, running through the rain once we got to Bologna just to take shelter with some coffee, falling asleep on the train (me!) with no shame, and having a quick dinner at Centrale before heading home!

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If I’m being honest (always lol), I probably would have been “done” with Ravenna in half an afternoon! It truly is a tiny town more than it is a city, and if I had been a solo traveler, I probably wouldn’t have invested in the tickets to see the inside of the landmark churches (I know, it was only 10 euros to see most of what we saw…).

Still, I’m glad AM and I were able to find time in our schedules to make this mini trip work. Surprisingly, I’ve faced so much hesitation from other expat women in Italy when it comes to planning day and weekend trips in Italy! Not sure why…if you got your butt over to Milan, surely getting on a train for a short weekend trip would be a piece of cake? 😅

So while it’s easier to solo, companionship will always have its perks.

Have you ever visited Ravenna?

Pree February 22, 2023 Milan, Italy

Work-Life Balance: It’s on You!

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If I currently wasn’t involved in an active job search after two and a half years abroad, I probably wouldn’t be spending so much time on LinkedIn. But since I don’t have IG anymore, it’s also become my “social media substitute”—one that is still filled with snark, but at least it tends to hide behind a thin veil of professionalism.

Everyone knows I’m dying to return to the US and that I’m not Italy’s (nor Europe’s, to be honest) biggest cheerleader in the least. But even with my strong opinions, I acknowledge they are opinions, and respect that others may disagree with me (I just ask that they hear me out, and respect my opinions based on my lived experiences as well).

Welp, even with my open-mindedness, I still come across the occasional, stubborn person who can’t accept the reality that people can disagree with each other. With one particular person, it resulted in a heated exchange on “work–life balance” in Northern Europe versus North America. After going through what I’ve been through in the past few years abroad, and becoming a “born again American” so to speak, I ended up engaging when I normally wouldn’t have. I had to stand up for the motherland 🇺🇸

Also, did this person not realize that I “came in peace” with the little smiley 🙂 at the end?

I did not care that this person had a different opinion than me, but apparently this person made it their mission to convince me on a weekend morning that I was wrong, wrong, WRONG. And when dealing with people like that, you’ve got to be the bigger person and exit the room with your dignity still intact.

Indeed, this little bit inspired the blog post you’re reading right now 😏.

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During my time abroad, I’ve often had to roll my eyes every time I heard someone criticize the US with a statement along the lines of, “all Americans are overworked and that there is absolutely no work–life balance in America”.

Even this lil doggo is annoyed with these blanket statements.

But the thing is, everyone is going to have a different definition on what “perfect” work–life balance would look like, so these blanket statements indeed don’t rub off so well…

When I was a PhD student, I was society’s definition of overworked and underpaid (there were phases during my PhD that, due to experiments and time-sensitive deadlines, I did work 60-hour weeks…). Weekends were scheduled around lab needs and not necessarily mine, but at the time, I felt pretty balanced overall.

Even though I spent long hours in lab, I still had time for marathon training, traveling and eating around SoCal, and even watching TV, haha! Would I have loved to not sacrifice federal holidays for mice? Yeah, of course, but I was smart enough to give myself downtime after periods of intensity.

“Perfect” work–life balance cannot exist because, life is not perfect. And if you are an overachiever, an innovator, a dreamer, a person who is never satisfied with the status quo, the standard definition of work–life balance just won’t fit.

Plus, despite what others may say, I strongly think that…

Your employer and context of work has a major influence.

Despite what others may argue, I firmly believe an employer has more influence over your work–life balance, regardless of what country they’re based out of.

Academic employers (in the US and Italy in my experience) have wanted every morsel of my time and energy. In one experience, I was left alone and it was on me to dictate work–life balance while getting my work done in a timely manner, while in the other experience, I was micro-managed to no end.

In my current role in Italy nonetheless, my work–life balance is top-notch according to society’s definition: I get two remote days a week of my choosing, I’m not micromanaged (just left alone to do my work in a timely manner), and I’m not bothered on weekends.

I have time to do nail polish breaks apparently 💅🏽

Oh, and I guess they give me 20+ vacation days, but the catch is I have to use a chunk of them when I don’t want to…

In my experience, it wasn’t the country where I worked that dictated how work–life balance would manifest, it was my employer.

Remote work has revolutionized the game.

Again, it will probably depend on your employer and context of work, but what’s stopping you from doing your workout during your lunch break, and eating lunch while catching up on emails?

And what’s wrong with finishing up a time-sensitive assignment at 8pm if you took a break in the late afternoon?

Some may argue that with remote work, there really are no limits. Technically you could work endlessly like my days in the lab, but that’s where my next point comes in…

As adults, we need to stand up for ourselves and our needs…

If you do have a 40 hour/week contract, then that’s what you have. If you find yourself working more than that regularly, is it really because you need to? Or are you afraid to bring up your concerns to your supervisor? Rather than complain to everyone but your employer about being overworked, has an attempt been made to address the issue with your employer?

…but we also need to make sacrifices to achieve our goals.

Depending on the industry and how high up you are in the hierarchy of a company, demands are going to change. A VP is not going to work 40 hours a week on the dot, but would we say they’re overworked, or are they just doing what is needed to get the job done (and getting paid luxuriously for it)?

Context is essential.

What would you really do with extra free time?

A lot of us comment on all the things we could do and accomplish if we had more free time and more time off from work, but if we’re honest about it, would we really take advantage of that free time to the fullest?

So many people were “spoiled” this past week with Carnevale…schools were out, parents took time off, and everyone caused a mess in the piazza in front of my apartment 🙃

We say we’d spend more time with family, exercise more, finally get back to that hobby, go on vacation, but all of those things take work too. If ya’ll are like me, I bet you’d use that day off work to stay in bed, streaming yet another show while figuring out “treat yo’ self delivery” for dinner, versus actually checking things off the to-do list 😏.

Depending on the context of work, set hours per day don’t make sense anymore. Some days will require the extra grind, and others will be lax. As long as the job is getting done, why does it matter how many hours it took me to complete it? And when those lax days come around, take advantage of ’em!

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Despite many haters, there’s a reason why the US is so productive from an economic point of view. Can you imagine what would happen globally if the entire country took one month off every year like some European counterparts?

Work–life balance starts with us, and it’s not one size fits all. It’s up to you to decide what you need in your life, and find the employer (or perhaps go the self-employed route!) who best aligns with you.

Just my two cents. 😉

Pree December 26, 2022 Malta

All About Balance

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Even though I am deprived of Thanksgiving when I am in Italy, we do get a string of holidays the first week of December.

They are Catholic in origin, but it’s free time nonetheless!

And since this year’s local holidays fell on a Wednesday and Thursday, I was forced to take the Friday that came after off. Yes, forced, because in Italy, companies “force” you to use the 20 plus days of vacation you have for the year when it suits them! Remember folks, there is always a catch…

Anyways, I had 3 days total, plus the weekend to go on a “long” weekend away, and it was the perfect opportunity to meet up with my “lab bestie” E., who lives in Germany. We met during my PhD and had our share of fun and harrowing moments in the lab.

I like to think we are at better places in our lives compared to that experience, haha!

I was flexible on where we could go for vacation together, while she immediately thought of MALTA! — a tiny island country just below Sicilia.

Valletta, the capital of Malta. Despite it being “closer” to the equator, we still experienced chilly days in December.

Despite its proximity to Italy, it was yet another place that didn’t escape British conquest…

Some neighborhoods did remind me of Britain. This looks like Notting Hill lol.

The last time I traveled with someone for a multi-day vacation was…actually with E! Back in 2018! I had visited her in Germany, and we traveled around Northwest Germany together, along with a weekend to Amsterdam. I remember it being a wonderful time, and now that we came back from Malta, it’s interesting to be able to compare my most recent and past experiences traveling with another person …and it has inspired me to write about the fact that it truly is all about balance when your travel plans include more than yourself!

Rather than go on and on about what I did in Malta, let the pics speak for themselves, while I reflect on something different…

Sliema, Malta. Recommend staying at one of the cheaper hotels in this neighborhood so you can be across the street from this view!

Why Traveling with Others is a Lifesaver

⊛ Someone can watch your stuff while you use the bathroom.

This honestly is one of the best things about group travel. I’ve spent so many solo trips doing the “bladder dance” while traveling because I didn’t want to drag my luggage into airport bathroom stalls, or get up to use the lavatory on the plane! On our trip to Malta, E. and I were able to rely on each other for luggage watch duty, while we took all the time we needed during bathroom breaks. Also, I was free to drink all the water I wanted as a result, and stay hydrated!

You can also depend on someone to help watch your seat when you get seconds from the (free) breakfast buffet at the hotel 🐷

⊛ If you travel with a not-so-picky-eater, you can order “tapas-style” and split the bill afterwards.

For most of the places we ate at, E. and I were able to order for ourselves with no issue, but traveling with others can be “fun” when it comes to trying all sorts of new foods. It also helps if you travel partner(s) are hungry around the same time you are, so that one person isn’t a hangry grump while the other has no appetite—that’s not fun to deal with!

A lot of times, we did just order for ourselves though!

Vegetarian Falafel Plate :9 A lot of Turkish kebap-style places lol

⊛ More people involved in a trip means more brainpower to plan out what to do.

I am very flexible when it comes to sightseeing. Perhaps that’s why my “solo adventures” are so boring, because I tend to stick to safe, predictable activities like walking around whatever city I’m in. I’m comfortable using local public transit, and can get familiar with the streets because I’ll most likely run them beforehand, but if it requires a *little* more effort, like paying for a museum entrance ticket, I’m most likely going to stay away if I’m on my own.

I would have most likely not trekked out on my own to go on a boat ride through the Blue Grotto, for example, if I was travelling solo.

Why Traveling with Others is Frustrating

⊛ Energy levels are at risk of not being in sync with your travel partner’s.

There were several times on the trip where I felt exhausted and in need of a nap. I know that when it comes to traveling with others, priorities on what to see, where to eat, and how to spend precious trip time can differ. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t need *too* much control of an itinerary, but I am sensitive to doing too many things at once, or not planning food and rest breaks properly.

‘Caffe Cordina in Valletta can’t be missed! It’s super cozy, well-known, and the perfect place to get a coffee + cake

⊛ You need to be mindful and make time for “alone time”.

This is line with the earlier point about energy levels. It’s okay to have “alone time” when you are traveling with others…I’d go as far to say it’s essential. Yes, even with my current stance on solo travel, I believe taking time for yourself, away from others on a trip, can help to recollect your energy and be happier when you rejoin your travel companion(s).

My solo time always comes in the form of morning runs. I have yet to travel with anyone who likes waking up before dawn on vacation to exercise 😂.

⊛ Communication is key, otherwise passive aggressiveness can ensue.

Overall, my friend and I had a great, memorable trip to Malta sprinkled with fun times, but I have to be honest and say there were moments where we did butt heads. It can be difficult for most of us to communicate exactly how we feel, especially because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but not expressing feelings at all can lead to some irritable exchanges, which is what happened with us at times 😅!

But this is okay. It’s important to acknowledge that this is something that can come up with partner or group travel. It’s also understandable if you want to avoid confrontation and awkward interactions, and don’t bring up what’s upsetting you to your travel partners as a result. However…if you’re brave enough to do it, maybe it could make the rest of the trip even better? 🤔

Is it Worth Taking the “Good” with the “Bad”?

I personally prefer traveling with others over being by myself 100% of the time. Alone time during group travel is absolutely necessary however, especially for any type of introvert (even the ones who can *pretend to* be extroverted, lol).

I was truly excited and happy to see my friend after over four years, and at the same time, I was glad when the trip concluded and I could take a break with myself!

At the end of the day, it is all about balance, as cliché as it sounds. We may not always achieve it—especially when it comes to unpredictable events like travel—but we can certainly give it a good ol’ try.

Where do you fall on the social travel spectrum—paralyzed without a partner? Or savor that sweet, sweet solo time?

Pree December 20, 2022 Bari, Italy

Beautiful Bari

Reading Time: 7 minutes

Update from February 2023! The place where I stayed, owned and run by A-L and her husband, is now ready for vacation rental (https://www.airbnb.com/h/themonsignors)! Please check it out and I highly recommend you stay with them when you plan your Puglia/Bari visit!!

So…my favorite kind of pizza does have pineapple on it. I “respect” that this combo is abhorred in Italy (they missin’ out, but alrighty then…), and I wouldn’t dare to ask for it at a pizzeria, but that doesn’t leave me with much as a vegetarian in regards to variety…

Verdure pizza is often topped with way too much zucchini and eggplant (my least favorite veggies, haha). Then there are the ones with formaggio on top of formaggio (Chuck E. Cheese would honestly pass out at the sight of quattro formaggi 😅).

So in Italy, I’m glad I at least have Pugliese to turn to—a cheese pizza topped with onion. It’s much simpler than I’d like it to be, but at least it has a delicious, “spicy” vegetable to kick it up a notch!

Pugliese is also related to Puglia, the “heel” of Italy, and Bari it’s capital. I was finally able to venture to the region and meet an online friend IRL last weekend!

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A-L and I met on Instagram as expats in Italy, and she is one of the few people I have kept in touch with after leaving the platform. She was incredibly kind, offering a rental (that she and her husband are renovating) for me to stay in for the weekend I was visiting! Also, she has the cutest rescue in all of Bari:

I could have taken a train to Bari from Milan, but it would have been an arduous ordeal. Thanks to cheap domestic flights (Ryanair comin’ through), I was able to book a flight from Bergamo to Bari for a little over 50 euros. It was also my first time flying out of Bergamo, and it was so much easier to handle than going through Malpensa, or even Linate!

I made it to Bari around noon, and A-L, her husband, and lil Dun Dun were able to pick me up. From there, we drove into the city of Bari…

A-L and her husband brought along two wheels of foccacia from their local foccaceria! One was covered in onions (obviously my favorite) and the other was decked out in tomatoes and olives (pitted). Didn’t snap a pic because I was too hungry to grab my phone—plus, the bread was oily 😅

The city center was small enough to walk around within an hour, to at least see the important stuff.

My favorite was pasta street, and the four-legged guardian at the entrance:

I learned that “ear pasta” (orecchiette) is a Pugliese tradition, and that the homemade versions made by the “little old ladies” of pasta street are often left out to dry like in the tray shown above. How can they be so trusting of the most-likely hungry tourist passing by 🤔?

After the little walking tour of central Bari, we drove about 20 minutes south to A-L and her husband’s real hometown Mola di Bari.

Now this is the Italy I’ve always pictured, he he.

A-L and her husband had English lessons to teach, so I was able to unpack and rest for a bit before we headed out for dinner. But before dinner, there was time for a little aperitivo in the main square. Even though Milan was freezing when I left, it was still a bit cool in the South, even with my jacket…

We went back to central Bari for dinner, which was an interesting experience. A-L really wanted me to try a signature Bari dish, fave e cicorie (fava bean puree and cooked chicory), but the restaurant said they could only make one (instead of three, for all of us present). Uhmmm, okay 🤔? So we ended up splitting a bunch of small plates for dinner, which was fine since I was able to sample a little bit of everything.

I was so excited to get back and go to sleep, but I was also nervous about having to fit in my long run for the week the next morning (a 17 miler—marathon training can’t stop!). The houses in Mola are incredibly cozy, but take caution when climbing up the stairs, haha! A-L’s rental was four floors, with an incredible view of a solitary palm tree and the Adriatic:

The next morning, I got up around 6:00am to have enough time for my run. I already saw some local runners on the road, and took it as motivation. Surprisingly, I felt like I could go on and on! Most of the time, I dread long runs over 13 miles because it’s always hard to fathom the mental as much as the physical distance…but being by the water must have induced a calming effect within me!

Whoever is living in that house…yoooooooo

Also, cats.

After the run and a warm shower, I was treated to a nice (pea protein) pancake breakfast at A-L’s, her husband’s, and Dun-Dun’s place just a few houses down 😂. I was in the most Italian-esque town possible, and that’s where I satiated a long-standing pancake craving! Go figure.

Immediately after breakfast, we made our way south to some other tiny (yet famous) towns along the coast. It was also starting to drizzle a bit, so we made sure to pack umbrellas. First up was Polignano a Mare, and the views certainly speak for themselves:

A fun fact A-L shared with me was that the original Volare singer was from here. I will admit that when I think of Volare, I immediately think of Vitamin C’s version circa early 2000s/Lizzie McGuire Movie 😂.

While the views were breathtaking, it wasn’t like we could go for a swim with even more clouds looming over us (🌧), so we then headed on over to Monopoli, A-L’s favorite:

Walking around in the cold caused us to develop a craving for something warm, so a coffee break soon followed! I was also treated to a sweet treat that is local to the region—I’ve forgotten the name, but it was a lightly-fried dough spiral doused in honey. Gimme!

We soon returned back to Mola for a quick nap (me!) and A-L wanted to test out the oven in the rental since the kitchen was brand new. That means I was able to taste some fresh banana bread (with chocolate chips and sunflower seeds…too bad I didn’t take a pic!).

It got dark fairly quickly, and there was quite a downpour when we headed back out again. This time A-L wanted to take me to Alberobello and Ostuni, which were other famous Pugliese landmarks more inland.

Alberobello is an “Italian smurf village”. Obviously it’s more “instagrammable” in the sunlight, but it still held its charm in a dark and cold rainy setting.

Then we drove to Ostuni, known as the “white city” due to the majority of the whitewashed buildings that make up the city.

I found the architecture quite gorgeous, and I could take pictures for hours, but my hunger was finally getting to me. We were hoping to dine at a local restaurant and to try some (veg-friendly) regional classics, but of course, the restaurant was closed.

But Plan B was not bad, at all. Because a cute little bistro by the name of Raparossa that specializes in vegan cuisine was ready to welcome us with open arms 😂.

A-L and her husband are both vegan, and I could tell they were more excited than I was to chow down (haha, and I was super hungry and excited so that says something!). Most Italian restaurants are not extremely vegan-friendly (I get by as a vegetarian, getting my fill of milk and eggs, no doubt about that…), so when a restaurant in town offers an all-vegan menu, it’s nice to relax and pick whatever you want without doubt!

We had everything from shared appetizers to dessert. I only took pictures of my main—a risotto that came topped with caramelized grapes and vegan (!!) gorgonzola…

Why can’t ALL Italian food be vegan-ized…

A-L also ordered the risotto (lol), and we both agreed that the “gorgonzola” wasn’t that strong. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing, since “real” gorgonzola actually tastes like soap to me! Haha, fun genetic “mutations” in action 😛.

The restaurant is also involved in community outreach (lol)—they feature some rescue animals on a picture wall near the entrance:

I was able to rest for an extra hour Sunday morning, but a speed workout was calling my name. Thankfully I fueled well, and was able to hit my intervals and complete my workout with a renewed sense of energy. My flight back to Milan was in the afternoon, so the gang and I had a quick breakfast, and walked around Mola again before it was time to head to the airport.

I can only imagine what this quaint Southern Italian town is like in the Spring/Summer…but I loved that I first experienced it in the off-season, rain and all…

Fun fact about the middle pic: if you see a chair with an assortment of vegetables and goods, it means that the “owner” of that chair has more of those items for sale back at their place! It is apparently a custom unique to Mola!

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Knowing that good company makes me feel so, so good still makes me nervous about solo trips going forward. I know if I had visited Bari on my own, I wouldn’t have felt as good as I described here. I’m also not too sure I would have made it to all the tiny towns in a matter of a day, lol. Great company (including furry pets!) truly make such a difference, and make these trips so much more memorable. I semi-joked with A-L that if she ever needs a dog/house-sitter, I will gladly fly back and use my vacation days just to chill with Dun Dun in Bari 😆.

I mean, I was told Bari—Puglia even—is a different beast in the summer…