south asian writer – Page 2 – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

Pree March 15, 2023 Monza, Italy

Running in Italy: Run for Life 5km Time Trial

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If you’re new to the blog, I’m a runner. I’ve considered myself a “runner” since my first race at the end of 2012, so over 10 years now!

I used to write race recaps religiously in previous blogs of mine, but when I started with SGD, my focus changed. It was also right around the time COVID was at its peak so running adventures in Italy also took a back seat…

Since moving to Italy, I wrote about my running adventures when I felt like it:

⋆ Running Reflections

⋆ Running a (Half) Marathon in Italy

I ran a half marathon in October 2022 in Monza before the Houston Marathon a few months ago, but I wasn’t in the mood to recap that experience. After Houston, I’ve been trying to figure out what my goals are for the year and going forward. Needless to say, life is showing me tough love right now, and pursuing an active job search does make things difficult in planning for the long-term, including formidable races such as my next marathon!

So for the short-term, I’ve been working on maintaining moderate-to-high mileage throughout the week, and focusing on trying for new PRs in shorter distances like 5 and 10km. A local race in Monza called Run for Life took place in early March, and I thought it would be feasible to sign up for the 5km distance and see if I could break my PR from 2017.

Racing in Italy definitely has its pros and cons. Pros include cheap “inscriptions” (lol, registration) and “later” start times. Cons, for me at least, include lack of a strong running culture compared to the US, menial “pomp and circumstance” regarding packet pick-up and post-race freebies, carelessness when it comes to course organization for small, local races, and too much control over needing a health exam/doctor’s certificate and run organization registration to race “competitively”.

For this particular race, 14€ included registration for the 5k, along with a race shirt, drawstring bag, and ample coupons. They threw in a box of cough drops, and some Italian hard candies, but pickings were indeed slim!

While the early bird in me detests the fact that nothing in this country is up and running before 9am, especially on Sundays, I must admit that being close to the race and the latter start time compared to US races did give me the opportunity to sleep in until 7:30am 😂. It bothered me that I had to struggle to find a coffee shop open so “early” in the morning (please, Starbucks in the US is up and at ’em at 5:30am in a lot of places, haha!), but I managed to consume an uncharacteristic-of-me breakfast before the race—gasp! a cappuccino and brioche!

In the past, I would have been incredibly nervous about coffee before a race given previous *gastrointestinal discomfort incidents* but as my performance in the race would later suggest, it might have been a factor that helped me 😮?

I might have also had a morale booster that helped, since I was meeting up with a runner friend from a previous Italy race experience! When I made an attempt to organize a running group for expat women last summer, she was one member though she couldn’t make it to the run sessions I proposed. We ended up meeting for the first time in person at the Monza Half in October, and met again for this race.

She was coming by bus, so after my colazione and quick potty break at home, I made my “warm-up” to Monza Park where the race was taking place.

There wasn’t much to do when I go to the bag-drop off area. I didn’t have to check in a bag (just the one they gave me with my “free tee”), so I spent some time people-watching before my friend arrived.

Of course they had coffee and snacks available at the “corner bar” 😅

When my friend arrived, we did another warm-up (about 1 mile) before slowly making our way to the start. It wasn’t too cold, but I was eager to get moving since I didn’t bring layers (we runners warm-up once we’re moving…).

To pass the time, we took pictures at the start, when a guy approached us and asked if he could take a picture with us. It was indeed an odd request that we declined, but for me not a completely unsual one! Something similar happened with me and my sis a couple years ago on a family trip to Paris. The kicker was, my Dad took the photo without hesitation! So now there’s a random guy out there who has a photo with my sister and I at the Eiffel tower—awesome 😂.

Since I was running the 5km, forcefully grouped with the “non-competitive” runners (in Italy, if you don’t provide proof of registration with a runner’s club or organization, you can’t race “competitively”. Even if you do beast your competition, your time would not be considered if you don’t have proof of this registration. Technically, you pay a fee and move on, but it is an unnecessary hassle…), my bib didn’t come with an electronic tracker, and for this particular race, no one seemed to care how the 5kers dispersed themselves! I started with my friend but took off once my legs felt good. She was doing the 10k, and we agreed to meet at the bag drop-off after our races.

I went into the race not feeling like I would PR, only because I had to drop down mileage the week I was in Ravenna, and when honestly reflecting over my training, I had not put in much devoted time to speedwork since Houston.

But, my time suggested otherwise—I was one second off my 5K PR pace from 2017!

My PR pace for the 5k was actually achieved during a training run back in 2017, at 7:36 min/mi. At the race, I was able to get very close at 7:37/mi!

It would have been perfect, if I had actually crossed the finish line!! The idiots organizing the race didn’t communicate the course distances with their volunteers I guess since one of the volunteers had me keep running on the 10k path! I knew something was up when I saw there was no finish line in sight but all the tall trees.

I ended up stopping, cutting through a large lawn, and then jogging back to the bag-drop off in irritation!

Funny thing was, I ended up running a 10k including my warm-ups and this “irritation” run! 😂

My path should have been the yellow loop 🤦🏽‍♀️:

Despite the disorganization and not much TLC being shown for the 5k distance, I was very much happy with my fitness status based on my “personal” 5k time trial.

My friend finished soon enough, and after picking up our bags, we decided that we might as well hop into the growing line that apparently promised fresh arancia juice and a humble bag of snacks from a local grocery store chain, Coop.

Waiting for free stuff: an unified, international experience

By the time we got to the goods, the orange juice machine was acting wonky and the guy moderating the pick-up line was panicking in Italian, LOL. My friend and I managed to snag a few of the last cups, and then head on out.

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After the race, I managed to treat myself to a vegan lunch to-go and a nap, but the experience made me remember the local races I ran in the early 2010s, and how much fun the race as a whole was for not just the runners, but for all of their supporters.

At one local race in the Bay Area, my dad and I swiftly left the premises with 10 jars of Biscoff spread 🤣. Then there was the other time I won tickets to Dodger’s game, and another time where I woke up at 3am just to run a relay with my marathon team before the sun rose…

These races were literal events that motivated, and at times inspired, me to write the race recap posts of my past blogs, and is something I wish was still alive in the running community. Even in the US, the sample game isn’t what it used to be—I doubt my Dad and I would still be able to snag Biscoff jars at ridiculous quantities. Now we’d probabaly be handed a teeny spoonful and watched by hawks!

Even if there wasn’t fanfare for my 5k time—let alone the race in general—I came away incredibly happy and proud of my feat after six years! Since I was so close to breaking my 5k PR, I’m thinking of doing another 5k this spring, but will need to start thinking ahead to half and full plans too!

Happy with my time, but always wanting to improve!

Pree March 7, 2023 Ravenna, Italy

Millennialz in Ravenna

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I have been pretty successful in my last series of trips to “not go at it alone“.

Funny thing is, I have a solo trip coming up, but only because I figured that for some destinations—like Portugal—it’s best to just make it happen and not depend on others. Especially if RyanAir has a deal you can’t pass up.

I have few friends and a couple of acquaintances in the lonely city of Milan, and I have disclosed to these individuals that my time in Milan isn’t indefinite. Upon hearing this, one of my dear friends AM proposed the idea of doing a mini weekend trip within Italy together. We had talked about this before last summer, when I was putting in an effort to meet a lot more girls in an attempt to create a community for myself here (lol, okay then…). Even though a group trip never panned out, I’m glad that AM was still eager to be my travel companion!

One of her photo tags inspired the title of this post—we also talked about being millennials while on this trip, and if you know me, I will talk for hours about the 2000s to no end!

For our trip, we were thinking small—Siena, Udine, Cinque Terre/La Spezia—but then Ravenna was thrown into the picture and it seemed like a reasonable destination for an easy-going weekend trip within Italy. Round-trip train tickets for the end of February cost around 78 euros, but one of the train legs was on the “fast” Frecciarossa train from Milan to Bologna, and for some reason, our return ticket was on the pricey side.

Trains. You can’t live with ’em, you can’t live without ’em.

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We left on a Saturday morning, getting a coffee (of course) at Milan Centrale before our train to Bologna Centrale at 8am. Despite all the things that stress me about daily life in Italy, my morning ritual of a cappuccino plus something helps me survive on the daily. It’s rare that I have a morning without one, and if I do, I’m in the worst mood ever!

But even when pumped with the fuel a cappuccino provides, I can never be fully prepared for the things life in Italy throws at me: including personal space infringement…

AM and I were assigned seats apart from eachother for the first leg of our trip. I was blessed with this view for one hour. La dolce vita, amIright?

From Bologna, we took a shorter train (about an hour) to Ravenna, which is a seaside town located on the western coast of Italy by the Adriatic Sea. It’s a city filled with churches, Dante’s resting place, and mosaics.

Mosaics are literally everywhere. Some cute pieces close to the hotel we stayed at Hotel Mosaico.

We stayed at Hotel Mosaico, a conveniently-placed hotel within walking distance to the train station (although Google didn’t recognize the underground tunnel to access the station, so when we first arrived we walked “the long way” of fifteen minutes around the station and aboveground 😅). Our room definitely gave us the two separate beds we requested, but the size discrepancy was hilarious.

AM was kind to let me have the bigger bed, although I only took up 25% of the mattress, lol!

After checking in, we did my favorite activity every time I’m in a new place—walking around and taking pics of everyday activity, while walking to food 😂.

The city center is small, easy to walk around within minutes, but definitely has a warm and cozy feel to it even on a rainy day!

The ol’ street name on a plaque on the wall vibe was in full swing here also, but bedazzled with mosaic art:

For lunch, I’m glad AM was just as eager to try Amaranto as I was, a vegan restaurant that also served traditional dishes veganified. While I opted for a noodle curry (I was in the mood for something warm and flavorful), AM enjoyed her traditional cappelletti pasta with ragù (it was all vegan, even the ragù, though AM was convinced it was real meat, haha)!

With bellies full, we were hoping to check off some local landmarks from our list, but we found out that a lot of the local attractions have limited opening hours—including on weekends! So even though we were out and about at 2pm, we managed to make it in time to check out Basilica of St. Vitale but had to see a few other landmark churches in the area the next day.

Even though I’m not Catholic, and Italy is literally the birthplace of Catholicism, the mosaic artwork inside Basilica of St. Vitale is something that any cultured person can appreciate.

I honestly wonder if all these artists back in the day had some adrenaline craving—they had to if they were hanging upside down to paint or assemble flecks of glass together. Crazy guys!

Close to the basilica, there was a cute local artisan shop featuring mosaic gifts and souvenirs. I’m not a souvenir kind of person (photos are fine enough for me!), but I love walking through shops that scream the local themes—I find them more personable than the usual touristy spot or museum!

Workshop area in a place called Annafietta

Before heading to the beach (yes, in February), we stopped for a coffee at Mercato Coperto and then quickly stopped to check out the Battistero Ariani (we thought it was free entry, but there was a two euro fee of course!).

Hanging out at the beach was one of my favorite moments on the trip because AM and I transitioned back to teenage girl mode, haha! She found the perfect stick for carving our names into the sand, and we spent a good two hours getting a solid workout in from walking across the terrain!

Previous trips that had me detour the beach left me wasting time when it came to getting back to the city center. Ravenna was kind to us, in that the bus ride was a “short” 30 minute distance back to the train station. We took a winding way back to a convenient bus stop, but we made it back to the hotel in one piece.

After resting for a bit, dinner was on our minds. I was particularly ravenous, and I attribute that to our energy expenditure at the beach!

Surprisingly, we weren’t met with many options to choose from for dinner. We ended up going to Mr. Dante, a restaurant in the piazza that was literally empty at 8pm.

Ladies and gentlemen, how are you not starving at this hour?

I helped myself to the quattro stagioni without ham, so that left me with artichoke, olives, and mushroom. Oh, but it would have been a knock-out if someone had the guts to put onion and pineapple on this bad boy:

If this only had onions and pineapple! But I still gobbled it up nonetheless!

Despite the dark red color palatte and the all-Italian menu, the restaurant had a TV blasting music videos from the 2000s! What a great accompaniment for two millennialz having dinner 😂.

After gobbling up an entire pizza, I still had room for gelato! We walked around the piazza for a bit, and found out where the “cool kids of Ravenna” go out to hang on Saturday nights. They had a boombox and everything, and it was quite a hilarious sight.

My piccola gelato was a chocolate flavor with Smarties-like candies and an amarena (cherry) flavor on top. It started to rain when we finally got our gelato, but I will never say no to a scoop of ice cream!

It didn’t look like a lot but *trust me* it was.

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The next morning, we were met with a downpour. Heavy rain, brisk winds, everything. I wanted to go for a nice run around the city—maybe to the beach and back because you know, #longdistancerunner—but the weather was making it a challenge.

I ended up running underneath the covering of a police station (lol) and managed to get five miles in despite the horrendous weather conditions. It was worthy of a relaxing breakfast provided by the hotel. The pickin’s weren’t amazing in the savory department, but I managed to find “balance” even among the disproportionate amounts of sweets!

I made it work with bread, jam, cheese, a hard-boiled egg, chocolate muesli, and of course, a cappuccino. I absolutely love it when breakfast is included in a hotel stay…there’s something about a hotel breakfast buffet that makes you really feel like you are on vacation 😂.

Our train didn’t leave Ravenna until 2pm, so we had all morning and lunch to finish exploring.

S. Appolinare Nuovo was next, and is what made me realize that with all of these ceilings and artwork on said ceilings, one who is prone to neck pain should be wary of visiting Ravenna 🤣.

My face when looking at these ceilings during this trip lol

The ceiling work was stunning, but of course, you could tell time had a done a number to the building overall. Still, the mosaic work and its colors are striking!

There was an adjacent Dante exhibit, since the famed poet died in Ravenna. His tomb was actually nearby, and we were able to pass by it as well.

It was a proclaimed “quiet zone”.

Our last stop for the trip was Museo Arcivescovile, which AM and I agreed that it was our least favorite of everything we saw.

It was the most “technical” of them all, literally fitting of its name.

While the ceilings were yet again pretty, many of the items on display got…repetitive 😅.

Needless to say, we were more than ready for a proper lunch before making the long journey back to Milan. AM suggested at the start of the trip that we make it a priority to seek out piadina (essentially a flatbread sandwich) as one of the meals during our trip. I’m always happy to indulge in local favorites as long as there is a vegetarian-friendly option.

But piadina and I have had a tricky history. I didn’t realize that traditional recipes call for lard, or strutto, when making the bread, and this was something I found out months after moving to Italy 🙄.

I may be “that girl” who has to ask at restaurants “do you make this with animal fat?”, but a smart restaurant owner knows that with respect and acceptance of all dietary needs comes moneyyyyy 😂.

So we had to pass on another “famous” piadina spot that was open and ended up at Pasticceria Ferrari instead. It was our third pick, and the ambience was reflective of that—a cafe with an old 70’s feel to it with dim lighting and confusion among its menu. But at least we each had our piadina, since they had vegetarian-friendly ones made with olive oil.

Piadina with squacquerone cheese and rucola

We took our time with lunch, and made our way back to Ravenna station. Of course we had almost an hour to kill, and given the dilapidated state of the station, there was no proper seating area. Of course…

Our ride back was entertaining at least: rowdy Ravennean teens blasting Italian hip hop all the way to Bologna, running through the rain once we got to Bologna just to take shelter with some coffee, falling asleep on the train (me!) with no shame, and having a quick dinner at Centrale before heading home!

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If I’m being honest (always lol), I probably would have been “done” with Ravenna in half an afternoon! It truly is a tiny town more than it is a city, and if I had been a solo traveler, I probably wouldn’t have invested in the tickets to see the inside of the landmark churches (I know, it was only 10 euros to see most of what we saw…).

Still, I’m glad AM and I were able to find time in our schedules to make this mini trip work. Surprisingly, I’ve faced so much hesitation from other expat women in Italy when it comes to planning day and weekend trips in Italy! Not sure why…if you got your butt over to Milan, surely getting on a train for a short weekend trip would be a piece of cake? 😅

So while it’s easier to solo, companionship will always have its perks.

Have you ever visited Ravenna?

Pree February 22, 2023 Milan, Italy

Work-Life Balance: It’s on You!

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If I currently wasn’t involved in an active job search after two and a half years abroad, I probably wouldn’t be spending so much time on LinkedIn. But since I don’t have IG anymore, it’s also become my “social media substitute”—one that is still filled with snark, but at least it tends to hide behind a thin veil of professionalism.

Everyone knows I’m dying to return to the US and that I’m not Italy’s (nor Europe’s, to be honest) biggest cheerleader in the least. But even with my strong opinions, I acknowledge they are opinions, and respect that others may disagree with me (I just ask that they hear me out, and respect my opinions based on my lived experiences as well).

Welp, even with my open-mindedness, I still come across the occasional, stubborn person who can’t accept the reality that people can disagree with each other. With one particular person, it resulted in a heated exchange on “work–life balance” in Northern Europe versus North America. After going through what I’ve been through in the past few years abroad, and becoming a “born again American” so to speak, I ended up engaging when I normally wouldn’t have. I had to stand up for the motherland 🇺🇸

Also, did this person not realize that I “came in peace” with the little smiley 🙂 at the end?

I did not care that this person had a different opinion than me, but apparently this person made it their mission to convince me on a weekend morning that I was wrong, wrong, WRONG. And when dealing with people like that, you’ve got to be the bigger person and exit the room with your dignity still intact.

Indeed, this little bit inspired the blog post you’re reading right now 😏.

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During my time abroad, I’ve often had to roll my eyes every time I heard someone criticize the US with a statement along the lines of, “all Americans are overworked and that there is absolutely no work–life balance in America”.

Even this lil doggo is annoyed with these blanket statements.

But the thing is, everyone is going to have a different definition on what “perfect” work–life balance would look like, so these blanket statements indeed don’t rub off so well…

When I was a PhD student, I was society’s definition of overworked and underpaid (there were phases during my PhD that, due to experiments and time-sensitive deadlines, I did work 60-hour weeks…). Weekends were scheduled around lab needs and not necessarily mine, but at the time, I felt pretty balanced overall.

Even though I spent long hours in lab, I still had time for marathon training, traveling and eating around SoCal, and even watching TV, haha! Would I have loved to not sacrifice federal holidays for mice? Yeah, of course, but I was smart enough to give myself downtime after periods of intensity.

“Perfect” work–life balance cannot exist because, life is not perfect. And if you are an overachiever, an innovator, a dreamer, a person who is never satisfied with the status quo, the standard definition of work–life balance just won’t fit.

Plus, despite what others may say, I strongly think that…

Your employer and context of work has a major influence.

Despite what others may argue, I firmly believe an employer has more influence over your work–life balance, regardless of what country they’re based out of.

Academic employers (in the US and Italy in my experience) have wanted every morsel of my time and energy. In one experience, I was left alone and it was on me to dictate work–life balance while getting my work done in a timely manner, while in the other experience, I was micro-managed to no end.

In my current role in Italy nonetheless, my work–life balance is top-notch according to society’s definition: I get two remote days a week of my choosing, I’m not micromanaged (just left alone to do my work in a timely manner), and I’m not bothered on weekends.

I have time to do nail polish breaks apparently 💅🏽

Oh, and I guess they give me 20+ vacation days, but the catch is I have to use a chunk of them when I don’t want to…

In my experience, it wasn’t the country where I worked that dictated how work–life balance would manifest, it was my employer.

Remote work has revolutionized the game.

Again, it will probably depend on your employer and context of work, but what’s stopping you from doing your workout during your lunch break, and eating lunch while catching up on emails?

And what’s wrong with finishing up a time-sensitive assignment at 8pm if you took a break in the late afternoon?

Some may argue that with remote work, there really are no limits. Technically you could work endlessly like my days in the lab, but that’s where my next point comes in…

As adults, we need to stand up for ourselves and our needs…

If you do have a 40 hour/week contract, then that’s what you have. If you find yourself working more than that regularly, is it really because you need to? Or are you afraid to bring up your concerns to your supervisor? Rather than complain to everyone but your employer about being overworked, has an attempt been made to address the issue with your employer?

…but we also need to make sacrifices to achieve our goals.

Depending on the industry and how high up you are in the hierarchy of a company, demands are going to change. A VP is not going to work 40 hours a week on the dot, but would we say they’re overworked, or are they just doing what is needed to get the job done (and getting paid luxuriously for it)?

Context is essential.

What would you really do with extra free time?

A lot of us comment on all the things we could do and accomplish if we had more free time and more time off from work, but if we’re honest about it, would we really take advantage of that free time to the fullest?

So many people were “spoiled” this past week with Carnevale…schools were out, parents took time off, and everyone caused a mess in the piazza in front of my apartment 🙃

We say we’d spend more time with family, exercise more, finally get back to that hobby, go on vacation, but all of those things take work too. If ya’ll are like me, I bet you’d use that day off work to stay in bed, streaming yet another show while figuring out “treat yo’ self delivery” for dinner, versus actually checking things off the to-do list 😏.

Depending on the context of work, set hours per day don’t make sense anymore. Some days will require the extra grind, and others will be lax. As long as the job is getting done, why does it matter how many hours it took me to complete it? And when those lax days come around, take advantage of ’em!

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Despite many haters, there’s a reason why the US is so productive from an economic point of view. Can you imagine what would happen globally if the entire country took one month off every year like some European counterparts?

Work–life balance starts with us, and it’s not one size fits all. It’s up to you to decide what you need in your life, and find the employer (or perhaps go the self-employed route!) who best aligns with you.

Just my two cents. 😉

Pree February 7, 2023 Freiburg, Germany

Freedom in Freiburg: Escaping the Prison of Milan

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I recently made a trip to Freiburg, Germany, and boy, was it a few days of reprieve from the onslaught of life in Milan (I came back from the US a little over two weeks ago, and Milan didn’t wait a second to put me in a chronically awful mood…).

Even if I didn’t choose Germany as my expat destination, I certainly have more respect for it than Italy 😅.

Looking back at this grand Black Forest during my 14 miler.

When I was actively putting an effort into Italian, I came across an interesting “quirk”: when trying to translate a phrase from English to Italian in my mind, I would often first think of the phrase in German.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how to say “How much does that cost?” in Italian, but “Wie viel kostet das?” hit my brain at lightening speed. When I shared this phenomenon with others, no one seemed to relate.

Perhaps this is only an issue only receptively bilingual folks can relate to—those who have become familiar with multiple languages passively, but are not 100 percent fluent in any of them except their native language (aka, me).

When it comes to Germany, my brain loves the order. The order in the grammar of the language, clear-cut rules (even if they’re a pain, you know what to expect), and a sense of practicality.

This is what drew me to the language in high school, along with the fact that it was a unique offering for language class. Most high schools offered Spanish, maybe French, but German was definitely a not so common offering.

Not to mention, my teacher was an exuberant second gen Chinese American who was probabaly more in love with Germany than any blonde-haired, blue-eyed man straight out of the Black Forest 😅.

German was my favorite class in high school because it brought relaxation after tense periods of AP science and calculus classes (the latter gave my digestive problems, no joke). I was Herr L’s star student (of course, my type A personality wouldn’t have it any other way) and I was known as Inge in his class (we had to pick German names for class, and I actually picked Inge because it sounded like a word in Tamil! 😁).

Calm, rainy Saturday morning in Freiburg

After high school, I tried to continue German in college, but my type A personality was scared to fail. After getting a C+ on my first assignment (an essay), I panicked. I dropped the course because I wanted to focus on making sure I didn’t fail my “more important classes” that would get me into med school 🙄.

My life went a different direction eventually, and obviously 😅. I chose Italy with intention, in that the next step was professional, but not only that…

I didn’t go to Italy for a boy like many other American girls, but I can’t deny the fact I wanted a piece of that Italian romance too! To be honest, I don’t think I would have taken that risk in finding love anywhere else…especially Germany 😂!

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All of this is to say German and I go way back, and my weekend in Freiburg definitely brought me much-needed peace.

On my way to Freiburg, I felt exhausted and perturbed. The exciting event I was referring to in my last post was indeed a job interview for my dream role (well, technically I’d like to write a NYT bestseller and live off the book’s income, but ya know, plan B 🙄…), and although I did well, I was passed on for an internal candidate.

The news hit me HARD and I was left in a funk for several days. Being in Milan didn’t help either…I knew I’d have to get back to my job search grind, and the unknown of that gives me anxiety every single freaking day 😔.

So this was on my mind as I sat aboard my first Flixbus (comparable to Megabus in America!). When I got to Freiburg a little over six hours later, I was still in a sour mood, but the quiet walk over to the hotel eventually softened me up.

I mean, there was a Dean & David (German fast casual chain with vegetarian and vegan options!!) next to the amazing Super 8 hotel I was staying at. I fueled with a halloumi salad and fruit and nut brownie before checking into this spectacular room:

Maybe it’s because I don’t like my life right now, but this hotel room got me feeling all sorts of emotional. Being able to leave Milan, even if just for two days, felt like I was able to escape a year-long stay in prison.

Taking multiple hot showers. Not having to worry about keeping the gas off to save on heating. Two comfy beds (lol, just cause I guess?).

Meeting my friend for dinner later was also such an uplifting moment. I felt incredibly relaxed, and so grateful we were able to meet up despite our crazy schedules. Good company truly does make life’s stresses feel a lot less daunting…

The next morning was wonderful as well. I slept in, had an amazing pancake breakfast, and walked around in the old town square, reveling in Freiburg’s humble cuteness.

I woke up happy that morning. I could feel it in my bones and my voice, and there had to be a reason for it.

That afternoon, I walked into a local store (Kaufland) and stocked up on vegan snacks and unique Pringles flavors not offered in Italy. Cheese and Onion, these Italians are missing out…

I prepped myself for a long run, and used it as an excuse to climb up to the Schloßberg and treat myself to incredible panoramic views of the city, as well as trail into the Black Forest. After a rewarding 14 miles with steep incline, I treated myself to dinner at Dean & David: vegan green curry and a golden milk latte.

My short stay in Freiburg was perfect, because it fed my soul without me expecting it to.

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Living in Milan has forced me to compromise and expect less than what I deserve, which is why I think it depresses me while other places restore me.

Despite what other expats in Italy say, things are not good here. That’s the truth. The cost of living is high, and the salaries are abysmally low, even for a post-doctorate like myself. People often tell me “I’m rich compared to others in Italy“, which is a frightening thing to hear…it means most Italians are living right above or close to poverty level when compared to American standards 😧. People also tell me that “well, you can leave whenever you want“, though it’s not that simple.

I need an exit plan. A parachute. A road map.

Yes, I’m tired of living like a nomad. I’m proud of the fact I am capable of being a minimalist, but I’d love to establish roots and live the life I truly deserve. Striving for that when your current situation numbs you is one of the hardest challenges I’ve had to face.

But then those challenges seem to instantly disappear when I am in the right environment…

I wish I could end this post on a more positive note, but reality sometimes prevents glimmers of hope from poking through. Freiburg was a blessing, a promise that I am capable of happiness. My recent, multiple trips to Houston and Austin too. The universe is asking me to be patient and brave. I hope I can continue to do so, and that the light at the end of the tunnel is near.

Pree January 26, 2023 Houston, Texas

Home Is Where the Heart Is… Which Happens to Be Houston 😂 (+ Houston Marathon 2023 Recap)

Reading Time: 8 minutes

I don’t know what it is about the American South, but every time I make a trip out to Texas, I fall in love with it more and more…as much as my exhaustion with Italy grows and grows 😅.

Spring, TX, where the’rents currently live

My trip back home for Christmas/the Houston Marathon/a surprising event I can’t share too much about just yet 👀 was just what I needed after a mentally-exhausting fall. I was back in my country—with people who have known me for years—and bounced back to my “normal” self after a few days of jetlag-induced depression (anyone else get a kick in the pants from jetlag?). The quality time I spent with those I loved in safe spaces allowed me to be introspective and process emotions that have been eating at me for months…

The “surprising event” I had to prioritize last minute also got me thinking about where my life could go, and that the best opportunities for me, are indeed outside of Italy. I hope to share more very soon, but for now, here’s proof that I dressed up, got a $80 blowout 😬, and wore makeup after many years, just to make a solid impression:

I also decided I might as well tackle #23 of my 30 in my 30’s list head-on, if I was going to go through all the trouble of addressing my “appearance”. I went from nail biter at Christmas, to a full set of acrylic nails:

Deciding not to bite my nails on Christmas Day…

Every time I make a trip back home, I also prioritize the essential errands, like sending things off to ThredUp and thrifting, shopping at my favorite stores and trying new flavors of my fav perishibles (see below for my Olipop haul…bought at an unheard of price of $0.99 a POP!), and participating in care package exchanges with friends like Allie! I sent her a box of goodies from Italy (I hauled everything in my suitcase and shipped it all from Texas…because, no way to international shipping!!), and she sent me some of her Pittsburgh favorites as well as some general American snacks she knew I’d be missin’:

I also prioritize trips to Austin, because I definitely see myself buying a home there one day…for now, I am grateful it is my sister’s turf for the next few years, because it means enjoying all the fun stuff this city has to offer with a tried-and-true companion.

Thrifting. Vegan food. Beautiful lakes. Animal lovers everywhere. People who smile and wave when you go for a long run, and who don’t give you resting b*tchface. It’s wonderful, ya’ll.

But with even with all of these fun, unexpected/exciting things, the main reason for my “long” stay (3 weeks? Long? Not long enough!!) was to run the Chevron Houston Marathon, my 8th marathon!

I got cowboy boots…can I be a Texan now plz?

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The last time I ran a marathon was in 2019 in Los Angeles (it was my fifth consecutive LA). I remember feeling so burnt out by the distance and ready for a decent-sized break. Plus, Italy was already percolating in my mind as that’s when I was seeking out investigators and research Institutes in Milan to apply for my fellowship 😅.

Little did I know that the pandemic would be that break I needed..but it happened for a reason.

I failed at a marathon comeback attempt in Italy (my trip to Verona is bittersweet because of it…), and so I knew my next marathon would have to be back in America if I wanted to “succeed”.

After getting settled into a new job, I was able to focus on a new race goal and picked Houston because the timing was perfect (decent weather in January!) and I would be able to have enough time to prepare.

I met with a coach based in Houston in early summer, and he gave me weekly workouts to do while I was in Italy. I’ve had experience working with a coach before when I was in LA, but I was happier with this training cycle overall, as I preferred the coaching style of this coach compared to my previous coach.

Workouts included one speed workout, a long run, a steady run that would be held at goal marathon pace, followed by ALL the easy runs you could imagine. People often forget that improvements come from not how fast you go out each time, but how often your prioritize slow and easy runs…that’s when the magic begins.

My training cycle began in July, and ended mid-January (6.5 months) since the marathon was January 15th. In October, I ran a local half marathon (in Monza), but didn’t PR or feel too well because I was dealing with a horrible bout of anxiety spawned by an event that happened earlier in the month...I am so sensitive to my surroundings and my body internalizes way too much… the curse of an empath? 🤔

But even with that, I’m still happy with how my training cycle progressed from that point. I was hitting my workouts to a T, and seeing improvements in my speed interval pacing (doing sub-7:00 for 0.25 and 0.5 mile intervals!). About five weeks out from marathon day, my coach started having me do long runs over 20 miles. It got to the point I was running one 24 mile run two weeks out from race day, and a 22 miler just a week before race day!

I was able to get out of my head and just do what I needed to do. It was the first time I got past mental burn out in a long while, and the first time in a long time I was doing 20+ milers!

So with how the training cycle played out, I was hoping to PR with a 3:45. My PR up until that point was a 3:53:37, which I earned back in 2017. Even with these new goals, I knew anything could happen on race day… just had to convince myself that I put in the work and now I just had to let things happen as they should.

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I was able to go to downtown Houston with my dad the day before to pick up my race packet, and for the rest of the day, I tried to eat “safe” (no fibrous or rich foods that could get in the way of digestion, haha) and then ofcourse, go to bed early.

The next day, the two of us drove back down to downtown, and after walking around in circles for a bit, I found my starting place at corral B. I was able to make small talk with two other women as we waited, and fortunately it wasn’t too cold. At the same time, I wanted it to be, since I know I don’t do well in heat + humidity, which Houston is famous for.

Others on the other hand had no issue buying NWT clothing as “start line cover-ups” and tossing them over the fences when it was time to race. Talk about fast fashion* 🙄.

*The race organizers did say that any clothing left at the start would be donated to local shelters…but still…

By the time I made it to the start line, it was around 7:20am. I felt good at the start, but tried to keep my pace steady and not go out too strong. My per mile splits for the entire 4:06:39 (I know, I didn’t PR, but let me explain…) were as follows:

I was doing really well up until mile 15. I even found the 3:45 pace group from mile 6-mile 9 and they helped me push myself for that period. My legs were beginning to give out at mile 9, but I still maintained race pace more or less.

I also know that in the marathon, pain comes and goes…you feel horrible for some random miles, but then if you fuel and hydrate properly, you body suddenly forgets the pain and pushes through…until it feels the pain again 😂!

Around mile 17, I was starting to feel gastric distress, so I made a pit stop at a porta potty. It might have been in my head though, because…no movement? Haha, TMI!

From mile 18 onwards, I kept the “only two more miles till hydration” mindset. I walked through water/Gatorade stops and the method seemed to work well and help me push through. Miles 24-26 were HORRENDOUS. Funny enough, since mile 24 was the longest distance I ran leading up to race day. Even though it was “only 2 more miles”, my legs felt HEAVY.

I also started to choke up and feel emotional. I wanted to cry not from the pain, but from the fact that this was happening again…I was going to finish my 8^th 26.2, and even if most people in my life would not be able to comprehend how remarkable that is, it was enough for me to tell myself that I was doing something amazing.

I had enough in me to speed through the finish, and then crawl on through the finisher’s zone. I called my dad in order to find him at the family meet-up area, and yes I finally got a good cry out!

I didn’t PR, but I…

✅ Finished healthy and strong.

✅ Hydrated well (hydration was organized SO well on the course!) and fueled well throughout the race.

✅ Happily accepted the outcome of the race and praised myself for the feat I just accomplished.

I’ve been telling myself since 2017 that I’m going to get faster, that in this-and-that race I’ll PR again, but it’s been a long, winding journey with running since then…

This training cycle has been so helpful in that it has helped me realize that with the right support, I can achieve the goals I want to achieve. My coach and I agreed that a 3:45 is in me, and that for 2023, working on 5k/10k speed, followed by the half, and then a full in the fall is a reasonable plan.

I hope to be back in the US soon enough to tackle all this and more…whoops, did I say too much too soon 😮?

Well, life’s too short to not speak the truth, and chase dreams that take shape day by day…