Cagliari Reflections: I Really Don’t Want to be Alone

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Moving to Italy a little over two years ago has changed me as a person, immensely. It’s brought out sides of me I never knew needed to be unleashed, but they had reason to:

“Tough Boss Pree“, who has no trouble throwing around the “f word” (to my Dad’s dismay, lol), was someone I had to embrace in order to feel some sort of control in a foreign land I otherwise had no voice in.

“Vulnerable Pree” is someone I can’t help but want to give a big bear hug to. Learning and practicing to love unconditionally (self and others) truly is a skill that needs to be nurtured and taken care of. It’s frightening because it’s like exposing your soul, but it is something everyone should find the courage to do because the payoff can be beautiful.

“Extrovert in an Introvert’s Body Pree” is someone I’m proud to have discovered here. I’ve taken initiative so many times in the name of trying to establish connections and friendships. Professionally, I have no problem (in English) effectively communicating. Ha, there’s a reason “communication” is in my job title! It’s definitely daunting to put feelers out all the time and not have every attempt be successful—for every 20 girls I’ve met in Italy, I only happen to meet two on a “frequent” basis, and even that takes work!

These three personas of mine existed before Italy, but now I feel like they are pretty much what characterize my identity at this point.

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Even though I’ve done the solo travel bit and I’m no longer a fan, I decided to head down to the South of Italy for a change of scenery while remote working. I planned the trip two weeks in advance, and found a good plane ticket deal along with a place to stay (a room plus private bathroom) that was also reasonable in price (87 euros for 3 nights…not bad!).

When I told people of my plans, alot were curious as to why Cagliari? Why the capital city of Sardegna in the month of October? Why were you not like everyone else spending three weeks roasting like a chicken on the shores of Poetto Beach in August?

Because I’m Pree, and I do things my way—that’s essentially what solo travel is at the root of it.

Thursday was a travel day in the morning, and both Thursday and Friday were remote working days. Friday morning, I was able to venture out for a morning run with views by the water.

I went out to the city center for lunch, dinner, and ice cream (lol) but was overwhelmed/tired by work during the day, so I retreated back to my lodging to rest up early both nights.

I was also feeling a bit down about being alone, and the thought of planning things for the next day seemed daunting… still, I made a list of things to distract myself with, including figuring out where to eat. Even though I’ve had a troubled past with food, it’s often been my default item to go to for comfort—seeking out a cool restaurant with unique vegetarian or vegan-friendly options. Delicious desserts. Writing about it after…

Calories have always been my tried-and-true companions…

*Side note – I’m active on Yelp, and reviewed all of my Cagliari eats there. Follow me there if you are a food+pics kind of person too 😂

I did however *try* to find an alternate distraction via a walking tour. Ultimately I’m glad I did, because the vibe of my trip turned around when I met a new friend on said walking tour.

On Saturday, I slept in a bit and then took the bus down to get breakfast (Bus No. 8 and I got very familiar with eachother over the few days I was in Cagliari, lol). Even though I ran a 6 miler the day before, my body craved “slow” cardio so I skipped my normal morning run. I did however plan to attend a walking tour, secretly hoping I’d meet a new pal to help me distract myself more in Cagliari.

Before making my way to the tour’s meeting point, I stopped at Necropoli di Tuvixeddu , a park of ancient tombs. It was quite underwhelming on a Saturday morning, but nevertheless I tried to snap a couple pics:

I eventually made my way to the walking tour meeting point, atop a hill in Old Town Cagliari. My tour guide was a local, and I was soon joined by an elderly white couple on a cruise layover (lol typical!).

Thankfully for me though, I ended up meeting another girl solo traveling, from Milan! We got to talking and she actually works close to where I live. My goal was now to confirm plans with her for the rest of the day, rather than pay attention to the tour 😂! I was determined to redeem myself from the ennui that was building up from the trip thus far by making a new friend.

By the end of the tour, the both of us ended up getting lunch at one of the most famous bistros in Cagliari (Libarum Nostrum) but they callously placed us out in the direct sunlight. I also didn’t want to pay too much for lunch, so I got a plate of spaghetti which… actually wasn’t that bad?

We were both pretty tired after lunch, so we agreed to retreat back to our respective Airbnbs, charge our electronics, and meet up at Poetto Beach in a few hours. I headed out at 5:30pm, and took the bus down to the center as usual. However, the next bus was bit confusing to figure out.

I eventually figured out where the bus stop was (after pushing myself through a group of crazy kids!) and headed down to Poetto. It was a beautiful drive with the sun setting, but that was it…the sun was setting!

Silly me packed a towel thinking we’d be able to sit out on the sand and enjoy the waves. By the time I got down, it was already twilight.

It was still gorgeous though.

My new friend eventually came down and we both realized our beach plans no longer made sense 🤦‍♀️. We instead walked for a bit, and then found the closest bus stop to get back to the center.

For dinner, we thought back to what our walking tour guide recommended and remembered Taccas because of the Sardinian specialty they offered—deep fried pecorino cheese topped with honey. We were sold.

The city center is always packed in the evenings, but we got food within a decent time frame and were able to head back to our respective Airbnbs around 10pm via bus (seriously, you don’t need a car for Cagliari—you can survive with handy-dandy bus numbah 8 😂!).

I left for Milan the next morning, and got back in the early afternoon. I didn’t expect to find another solo traveler on my walking tour, especially since my previous solo trips did not prove successful in the arena of friendship (lol), but low expectations met with pleasant surprises helped turned this trip around.

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This trip was also planned on a whim, to serve as a distraction from life events that left me raw in early October. Ultimately what made this trip “redeemable” was hanging out with another person. It’s crazy how “extroverted” I’ve become in recent months, and I still am not sure if it is a natural transition, or a mechanism my brain has adopted to avoid feeling alone and lonely…

…because being an expat is lonely. And definitely scary. I’ve learned you can’t put all your “eggs in one basket” so to speak, and while planning does help my (still) type-A personality, anxiety does set in that I just can’t shake away—especially if I find myself in an isolated moment in a foreign land that does everything in its power to not make me feel at home.

I still encourage everyone to experience solo travel in their lives. Being alone shouldn’t be scary, but I have spent a lot of my life doing things alone. It’s now become something I dread thinking about, but sometimes it is more convenient to just get out, go, and get it done.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone or alone time, I’m just at a point in my life where more of it terrifies me. The thought of choosing to be alone and not have anyone care or think about you, or want to be with you…I think that is what has made it feel so crippling to me as I’ve gotten older.

Nowadays, the warmth and presence of other souls restores my energy, as much as being alone used to do for me…

Cagliari was nice, but I know I am happiest every time I’m visiting my Dad in suburb Texas. My sister in good ol’ Austin. My bestie in Vegas. Falling asleep on the couch with a special someone while Netflix is playing for hours all weekend.

I’d rather my life be full of people over places. Anything to avoid the heart-wrenching pull of being alone.