Life – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

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I never thought I would be one of those bloggers who would disappear “without a trace” for more than a year…but it happened. It’s hard to pinpoint a specific reason why I decided to step away…at first it was unintentional, and then as the months went by, I felt comfortable with my new routines and newfound passions. In a way, I felt like I’d always have this space, if and when I chose to come back to it. Same thing with the podcast (ya’ll remember Pour the Coffee ?). With my friend and co-host leaving the project to start a new chapter in her life (motherhood), the podcast became something I still had, but I wasn’t publishing episodes as frequently…just when I felt like it.

My website domain and hosting renewals were coming up, and to be honest, I was contemplating shutting down the blog. My main reasons for keeping it up—at least maybe going into next year—are 1) I’m still very much annoyed when anyone uses the term “first generation Indian-American” when they are simply a “second gen desi”. “First generation” is literally the immigrant generation—why is everyone trying to be first all the time when they’re not? Lol!

So if the my blog’s URL helps with piquing curiosity and understanding why “second gen desi”, one mission accomplished ✅.

And 2) I still love looking back at all the posts I’ve written on the second gen experience, living abroad, running, and traveling. I will say my current interests have shifted—it’s been two years since I’ve been an expat, and that lifestyle is not something that interests me at this time—but I love to see that people still find my post about the EU Blue Card useful.

But now? What do I feel like writing about then?

After this long blog hiatus since mid-2024—sparked by a lack of motivation and unclear direction—I shifted my energy toward a creative dream I’d long put on hold: modeling.

What started as a gut-driven exploration quickly turned into a year-plus of runway auditions, portfolio-building, and fashion week experiences in NYC and LA, and internationally in cities like Cannes and Belgrade. While I haven’t entirely abandoned writing or podcasting, modeling became the more energizing outlet, offering both personal growth and professional connections. I figured, if I am going to have a comeback post now, might as well be about the one thing that stole me away from blogging in the first place!

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Modeling today is incredibly saturated. The “rules” of traditional modeling have dissolved thanks to social media and shifting aesthetics. For me, modeling has always been a dream, but I’ve also never intended to do it full-time. I enjoy balancing my scientific career with my creative pursuits.

It’s frustrating that the industry—and the public—often want to box people into one thing. But I thrive in multiple spaces. Modeling is just one part of my enriching and multi-faceted life.

Despite its challenges, modeling has brought immense joy. I’ve been selective with the work I take on, aiming for high-fashion editorial and artistic runway shows. Thanks to my job (the one that allows me to have a decent, sustainable salary lol), I’ve had the flexibility and financial means to travel to cities and countries for shows and shoots.

While compensation is ideal, I’m not driven by money. I’m more focused on networking, building credibility, and hopefully working with respected brands or designers through the connections I make. The real value lies in the experiences, the creative collaborations, and the freedom to pursue this on my own terms.

But believe me, like with anything I’ve set out to do, modeling is BOUNTIFUL when it comes to frustrations and irritations…below are just some highlights, I’d love to dive deeper into these topics in future posts perhaps, or maybe spill all the beans on a podcast episode 🙃:

1. The “Money” Question

One of my biggest pet peeves is getting asked that ridiculous question—“Did you get paid for that shoot/show?” Why is that anyone’s business? No one asks tennis players at the country club if they got paid for a match. Modeling, especially at the freelance level, is saturated and competitive. Many models, especially newer ones, do unpaid gigs for exposure or portfolio growth. And there’s nothing wrong with that if you’re having fun (which I feel like people have forgotten how to do in recent years).

Now that I have been modeling for over a year, I do consider myself more experienced, but will still often do things unpaid if I think it is worth my time or will offer me networking opportunities that will eventually work in my favor. Until I do land that “big gig” (which, in reality, is a rare occurrence even for the most well-represented models), I might as well have fun with the gigs I choose to do!

2. Poor Communication Skills Among Creatives

Many creatives in this space—photographers, designers, and other models—struggle with basic communication. Ghosting, vague responses, and last-minute cancellations are frequent occurences. As someone with a high emotional IQ and a professional background that values clear, empathetic communication, it can get incredibly frustrating.

Photographers holding back photos, designers changing models without informing them—unfortunately, there’s often lack of communication and professionalism in this space. When I walked in a show in Cannes earlier this summer, I had one of the designers I was supposed to walk for in a show replace me last minute without even telling me. I happened to see her talk to the show organizer out of the blue, looking in my direction. I knew something was up, and even the organizer disclosed to me that she thought the designer’s behavior was unprofessional. Despite the anger I felt about the situation, I took it all in stride. I was already walking for other designers who were happy with my look and wanted to work with me. I wanted to prioritize that and showcase their designs in the best light versus being hung up on one designer who did not want to work with me. Not my fault if others have communication issues and are unable to express their thoughts to others in a mature manner…

3. Cliquishness + Fake “Open Calls”

Open calls often pretend to be inclusive, but in reality, they repeatedly use the same faces. When you reach out to collaborate with other creatives and are told “nothing is in the works,” only to see them working with the same individuals they always work with—it’s disingenuous and undermines the push for real diversity.

I was more sensitive to this when I first started modeling, only because it did feel like a clique I wasn’t able to get into. But by looking outside the local community and willing to travel for opportunities, the probability of landing more opportunities increased. Now, I am pretty happy with the trajectory of my network, and I am always looking for the next *new* opportunity. I also treat model castings and applications like applying for a job—apply for every single one that interests you, log it, and move on! If they’re interested, you will hear back. And it doesn’t hurt to follow-up either!

4. Protecting Your Boundaries in a Shifting Industry

With AI and other emerging tech, models now have to be even more cautious. Some runway shows sneak in clauses allowing the use of your image in AI training, which is obviously a red flag for me. I’m also wary of the photographers and designers I choose to work with from a safety perspective—revealing boudoir or swimwear is not something I’m comfortable with, though I do see plenty of models who choose to participate in those types of shoots or shows. To each their own, but the risk of exploitation in those types of modeling is unfortunately higher.

That’s why boundaries, intention, and self-advocacy are crucial. I’m very selective about who I work with now, especially as someone who keeps my modeling world somewhat separate from my professional and personal circles. It’s not about hiding—it’s about protecting the creative space I’ve built for myself.

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This year has been incredibly hectic on all fronts, which I absolutely love. I’ve always loved staying busy, and having my hands full, even if it means exhaustion. Going forward with this blog, I guess I could write about my experience in upcoming fashion shows, interesting travels, or even the basic, tried-and-true “If We Were Having Coffee” posts just to keep in touch, but I don’t want to make any promises.

*Fashion show in Belgrade, Serbia—just 1.5 years after I visited the country for the first time! Life is so funny.*

If you’ve stuck around this long, waiting for me to come back, I appreciate that with all my heart. I may not be the same Pree I was when you started following my journey, but I can assure you that my life right now is anything but boring!

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My 2023 was a year that might as well have been three. Harrowing, exciting, relief, and sorrow—some things fell so perfectly into place, and others threw me for a rollercoaster-like loop.

Last year felt like a whirlwind and because of that, I never really had time to reflect or process events (good and bad) in a timely manner. But recently, my body and mind have forced me to slow things down and retreat within myself. Only now do I have the patience to pen these thoughts down, along with seeking therapy again with the hope of starting a new healing journey.

I am proud and grateful for all the things I have accomplished and gained in the last year, but I would be lying if I said everything was perfect. There are so many traumas from childhood to present-day that I have been able to cope with or quash in order to survive as a high-functioning and high-achieving misunderstood woman with depression, but I do want a fair chance to finally heal.

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A country somehow loved by many will unfortunately never be loved by me. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake away the trauma I endured (maybe one day, I did recover from an eating disorder and I never thought that would happen) and at the same time, I will never be silent or afraid to speak up about it.

I can go on and on about how my experience in Italy was so distressing (and I have through written and audio mediums, lol), but what currently stands out the most is how much it has dampened my ability to enjoy neighboring countries too.

Almost a year has passed since I left without a second glance, but even with the comforts of home softening the corners of memories that were once so sharp and rough, my recent trip to Portugal/Barcelona in December 2023 was an odd experience for me mentally. I still felt tired, and seeing things like buildings and words and church squares that reminded me of Italy (what one would expect amongst other Latin/Southern European regions) unintentionally opened up mental wounds that hadn’t quite healed yet. This seemed so bizarre, as I had just been to Porto earlier that year, praising that it had been “so different from Milan in all the best ways!”. What happened?

All of these current emotions can be due to a mix of things. There are my personal traumas from living in Italy, but I could also be culturally bored with having lived there for so long, and that influencing my experience in other parts of Europe I thought I would enjoy better. There are so many variables at play here, but I will never be Italy’s biggest fan, that’s for sure.

Sintra is my new favorite Portuguese town. While I wish that each moment of this trip had been filled with blissful cheer, feeling tired and triggered by environmental elements out of my control happened to sting wounds that have yet to completely close…

I can permanently straighten my hair, paint my nails, and pay for his round-trip ticket across the Atlantic, but that doesn’t mean he will love me again.

No one likes talking about a break-up, because it feels like the biggest form of failure—especially if you’re the one that didn’t want it to happen. But I always prioritize honesty, and we need to be more open about our experiences instead of holding it all in… which hurts even more.

There is one person I will always associate my time in Italy with. For a little over two years, he was “my rock” in Italy, and like most relationships, we had our good and bad.

Up until October 2022, I thought it had been mostly good? I felt like I was sacrificing a lot for him from my end, especially in regards to finding a better job in Italy when my toxic post-doc environment began to sand me down raw. At the same time, I thought these sacrifices were investments for a bright “happily ever after”…one would hope that’s how it would go, right?

One Thursday after an exhausting train ride home from work, I stopped at a local poke shop to pick up dinner and casually began my weeknight routine of lounging in bed until falling asleep to Real Housewives. However, I received a long text that rocked that night and beyond—essentially, he had fallen out of love with me.

It was the first time in years I “pulled an overnighter” though I’d rather it had been for work than a mental crisis. The first people I messaged were my sister and best friend, and soon after I was bawling to my dad, the few people in my support system who seemed a million time zones behind.

While I would never act on hurting myself, in all transparency, those thoughts did pass. 😔

From that night onwards until our “official” break-up almost 8 months later, anxiety, insecurity, sadness, low self-esteem, and dejection ate away at me, even if I could pretend everything was fine for those I needed to be fine for (people at work). I didn’t want to hyper-focus on his every move, online and off, but how could I feel calm when a bomb was just dropped on me? Being around him every time he opened his phone set my heart racing. I knew I had no control in this situation, but I was still figuring out my exit plan. In the meantime, I had to at least try to “win back” the love he once had for me…I had to troubleshoot, the one thing in my life I’ve never lacked motivation in.

I consider myself a practical person (hence, my fervent application submissions for jobs back home when I realized my personal life in Italy was looking dire), yet part of me also wanted things to magically fall back to how they once were.

But even when I had the greenlight of a decent job to return home to, and he agreed to visit me in my new city for a week—to give it one more chance—my gut told me this was it. Two days after he arrived, I couldn’t help but cry at least once every day until he left, because it was it.

It truly was an odd experiment looking back. Heck, it could have been part of a reality show on failing relationships (will a one-week getaway end with him saying, “yes, I’ll stay with you now”?). At least the relationship ended on my turf, but that didn’t mean the uncontrollable sobbing would automatically stop.

With time, the darkness my mind was clouded with slowly dissipated. Distractions (both desired and unnecessary) have helped me to move on the best I can, but that first relationship (when it fails) will always leave a scar.

I used to spend a lot of time here…now it truly does feel like a memory.

Things can be “good”, but if the underlying trauma hasn’t been processed, depression will rear its ugly head again.

Speaking of distractions, I dove headfirst into doing what I could to move onto the next (and hopefully happy) chapter. Fostering a cattle dog, attempting new creative pursuits like modeling and dance, finally landing my dream job (relevant to my education), attempting new relationships (both friendship and romantic), and living a comfortable life thanks to the financial perks of said dream job happened in a matter of months. Like I mentioned earlier, it was like living multiple lives in a matter of a year.

Yet even if good things happen, I still yearn to grow and achieve. If I put in the effort and I don’t see the pay-off, it’s hard to be happy with things as they are. Anger has given me a lot of power in the past few years. I’d even say it was my only way to survive for so long, which is difficult for most to relate to.

In moments when I’ve felt like no one is in my corner, I’ve retreated. Retreating isn’t failure—it means it is time to rest. The world can be cold and heartless a lot of the time, and we only have so much energy. It’s normal to want to be around people, but to also desire alone time.

Maybe it’s the recent freezing temperatures, but nothing sounds more exciting than staying in bed all day, focusing on restoring my energy versus how to please others.

I kicked off 2024 being as selfish as possible – looking out for my energy and not wasting time on people who can’t put in the same effort as I do, fostering a PUPPY, going on more spontaneous trips, even if I have to go solo and for “short” periods of time

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I like to give myself a word for each year. Normally I “feel” it going into the year, and for 2024, I feel “restoration” is my guiding word.

“Some common synonyms of restore are refresh, rejuvenate, renew, and renovate. While all these words mean “to make like new,” restore implies a return to an original state after depletion or loss.”

At 31 years old, I’m not sure what that original state really is. When I was 10? But I have a stronger urge to be selfish, in a way that I put myself first like never before. I think that’s the first step to restoration…

I see it manifesting as making spontaneous trips or doing activities I want to do without seeking permission or asking/thinking about others first. It’s leading the pack without worrying if there is a pack behind me. It’s preparing to be alone, but open to genuine company.

It’s no surprise that my body and mind want to slow down after a high intensity year. I need every morsel of energy I have (which is not a lot to begin with) to contribute to this restoration process.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all this, the only person I can truly count on for a lifetime is me: I’ve got to give her all I’ve got if I am going to have anything left to give.

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My, how time has passed and how I’ve grown since leaving for Italy in late June of 2020. I look back on the almost three years abroad and still question why some of the moments I went through were really hard at times, but the answers will eventually come, as they always do, with time.

2021 was difficult in its own right, but despite my depression taking over and my desperation to get out of my post-doc/still stay, work, (and let’s face it, love) in Italy, I managed to make it out okay and go into 2022 with hope and stability.

But I harbored a lot of anger in the first half of 2022. I can’t say why, but I could point out the triggers. Despite finding an amazing company that helped me stay in Italy in a position that was well-within my career goals, and the fact that they helped with my sponsorship to attain an EU Blue Card (an ordeal in itself, but it had to be done), I tried to be calm about the process that is life, but I found myself getting angry with each passing month…

I found myself feeling FOMO about my career. Even if I had a “good job” for Italian standards, a lot of my peers back home in the US were making $120-150k in the pharma industry, while my salary stood much lower at 45k euros…again, “good for Italy“, but frankly speaking, it wasn’t good enough for me, especially knowing all the toil I put towards my PhD degree…it was not enough.

I found myself seeking validation, and it affecting my mental health in the most toxic way. I quit social media for almost a year after getting into some heated arguments with loved ones about it. But I couldn’t deny that the metrics of holding onto an audience was getting to me. I felt restricted in being able to speak my truth, as I was finding it difficult to “please everyone”…what I tried to share and create on the platforms I chose, was not enough.

I found myself face a rocky personal battle in late 2022, and it shook up my world more than I could imagine. I think of everything I experienced in my life so far, this one had a superior impact on my emotional and mental health, perhaps because it impacted me in my most vulnerable state. The fact that I couldn’t control the outcome of this particular situation terrified me, and out of everything that was contributing to the challenges I faced in Italy, it was this incident that set me in “fight or flight” mode: find a job, and get the f*ck home…because I was not enough.

LinkedIn distracted me from my clock-watching tendencies at work (the result of being under-utilized), yet the the anxiousness and unpredictability of my personal life, and the continued, chronic invisibility I felt as a helpless “foreigner in Italy” made me feel like I had sunk to rock bottom. Perhaps a “dream job” back home making $150k could make it all better.

I was extremely close. It would have been mine and in an alternate reality, perhaps I’d be living in Las Vegas right now traveling to clinics all over the west coast as a medical science liaison, but ultimately, I was passed on what would have been my dream job. I remember receiving the call outside of a restaurant in Milan I had just met a friend at, and walking to the Buonarotti metro stop in tears, only to have a homeless Italian man offer me a tissue. What a sight that must have been for the cold-hearted pedestrians that continued to walk on by…

I had to go back to the drawing board, knowing that I was the only one who could say “enough is enough”. I gave myself a “deadline” to find a new job within the next three months back home, so I could give enough notice for the cold excuse of a studio I “lived” in, as well as give a “heads up” to my current employer, all while trying to find the time to breathe even if the anxiety was all-consuming at this point.

But as usual, I ended up surprising myself. My bosses seemed to be understanding, although not acknowledging the fact I was wanting to leave the country 😅. I remember my department boss asking me to “give it six months, things are going to change around here!”. I’ve always appreciated their support, something rare to receive from upper-management of Italian companies from what I hear, but I also had to be wary of my emotions and how crazy things had been for the last few months.

It wasn’t enough to hear those words, I needed action.

I managed to schedule my day-to-day activities around job interviews that kept rolling in every week. While they provided me with sparks of hope, when the dreaded “we will proceed with other candidates” emails came though, I’d find myself in desperation again. This went on well into March…

But even though a chronic level of stress was always keeping me on edge, I managed to find and/or create pockets of happy moments for myself during the last few months I spent in Italy. As I slowly made my rounds catching up with the few Milan-based friends I managed to make in recent months, and making them aware of my plans to leave soon, they reached out with open hearts and schedules 😁!

AM and I were able to spend quality time in Ravenna, and a few weekends later, she invited me over for vegetarian Colombian food and coffee on a sunny Saturday afternoon—I love a moment of good food (especially homemade!) and conversation!

The two of us also had vegan sushi in Milan’s only (and relatively new) all-vegan sushi restaurant. Finally, ya’ll caught up with the likes of Los Angeles and Austin 🙃.

I was also able to get some expat girls to break out of their aperitivo comfort zone, and I am proud of the fact that I co-organized a clothing swap! I love organizing events and leading groups (heck, the most favorite part of my PhD was mentoring 20+ students!!), and this particular event gave me the self-esteem boost I was lacking lately…

The friend I met in Cagliari and I were able to do some day trips together, to Padova and Parma. It was nice to have a friend to chat with on the dull and dilapidated inter-regional Trennord train rides (nothing like the tourist-friendly Frecciarossa trains) that were always delayed during our excursions.

Wearing a clothing item I got from the clothing swap!

I also squeezed in some solo weekend trips to Porto and Budapest, which went better than expected.

But even all these good moments…were not enough.

I reckoned with the fact that we were approaching mid-March, and reaching that timepoint was cranking up my already-elevated anxiety. Was it just a coincidence that the day after the Ides of March, I’d get a message from a recruiter asking me to interview for a job that would have never been on my radar? That would pay six figures, allow me to work remote, and be a solid career move that would bring me back safe and sound home to the States?

I had interviewed for the role on a Thursday, and received a firm offer the following Monday. Within a matter of days, I was giving my 30 days to my Italian employer, in talks regarding a counter-offer, informing friends, informing loved ones…

The funny thing was, all the anger, anxiety, sadness, and bitterness began to fade once I was firm in my decision. I was putting myself and my needs first, and I truly believe that when you work towards something with sincerity, the best things will happen for you.

I left Italy in mid-April, thinking I would start my new job a few days later. Of course life is always throwing curveballs, and I ended up starting three weeks later. Go figure, but it was nice to unwind in North Houston and have the company of my Dad.

But I think the best part of all this is the fact that I am able to wrap up this post on the couch of my 1-bedroom apartment in Austin, Texas—a city I fell in love with almost two years ago, and from that summer ’21 visit, knew this was the place I would be proud to call home.

My first weekend as a denizen of the best city in the world!

I know way too many people who settle. Due to fear, lethargy, apathy, you name it. But, isn’t life too short for that? If something is not enough, if it gets you flustered, bitter, angry, anxious, deeply sad…you don’t have to accept it. It will take work, and it will most certainly take time, but the universe always comes through—those of us who are starving, we have a reason to fight and we will eventually be fed.

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If I currently wasn’t involved in an active job search after two and a half years abroad, I probably wouldn’t be spending so much time on LinkedIn. But since I don’t have IG anymore, it’s also become my “social media substitute”—one that is still filled with snark, but at least it tends to hide behind a thin veil of professionalism.

Everyone knows I’m dying to return to the US and that I’m not Italy’s (nor Europe’s, to be honest) biggest cheerleader in the least. But even with my strong opinions, I acknowledge they are opinions, and respect that others may disagree with me (I just ask that they hear me out, and respect my opinions based on my lived experiences as well).

Welp, even with my open-mindedness, I still come across the occasional, stubborn person who can’t accept the reality that people can disagree with each other. With one particular person, it resulted in a heated exchange on “work–life balance” in Northern Europe versus North America. After going through what I’ve been through in the past few years abroad, and becoming a “born again American” so to speak, I ended up engaging when I normally wouldn’t have. I had to stand up for the motherland 🇺🇸

Also, did this person not realize that I “came in peace” with the little smiley 🙂 at the end?

I did not care that this person had a different opinion than me, but apparently this person made it their mission to convince me on a weekend morning that I was wrong, wrong, WRONG. And when dealing with people like that, you’ve got to be the bigger person and exit the room with your dignity still intact.

Indeed, this little bit inspired the blog post you’re reading right now 😏.

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During my time abroad, I’ve often had to roll my eyes every time I heard someone criticize the US with a statement along the lines of, “all Americans are overworked and that there is absolutely no work–life balance in America”.

Even this lil doggo is annoyed with these blanket statements.

But the thing is, everyone is going to have a different definition on what “perfect” work–life balance would look like, so these blanket statements indeed don’t rub off so well…

When I was a PhD student, I was society’s definition of overworked and underpaid (there were phases during my PhD that, due to experiments and time-sensitive deadlines, I did work 60-hour weeks…). Weekends were scheduled around lab needs and not necessarily mine, but at the time, I felt pretty balanced overall.

Even though I spent long hours in lab, I still had time for marathon training, traveling and eating around SoCal, and even watching TV, haha! Would I have loved to not sacrifice federal holidays for mice? Yeah, of course, but I was smart enough to give myself downtime after periods of intensity.

“Perfect” work–life balance cannot exist because, life is not perfect. And if you are an overachiever, an innovator, a dreamer, a person who is never satisfied with the status quo, the standard definition of work–life balance just won’t fit.

Plus, despite what others may say, I strongly think that…

Your employer and context of work has a major influence.

Despite what others may argue, I firmly believe an employer has more influence over your work–life balance, regardless of what country they’re based out of.

Academic employers (in the US and Italy in my experience) have wanted every morsel of my time and energy. In one experience, I was left alone and it was on me to dictate work–life balance while getting my work done in a timely manner, while in the other experience, I was micro-managed to no end.

In my current role in Italy nonetheless, my work–life balance is top-notch according to society’s definition: I get two remote days a week of my choosing, I’m not micromanaged (just left alone to do my work in a timely manner), and I’m not bothered on weekends.

I have time to do nail polish breaks apparently 💅🏽

Oh, and I guess they give me 20+ vacation days, but the catch is I have to use a chunk of them when I don’t want to…

In my experience, it wasn’t the country where I worked that dictated how work–life balance would manifest, it was my employer.

Remote work has revolutionized the game.

Again, it will probably depend on your employer and context of work, but what’s stopping you from doing your workout during your lunch break, and eating lunch while catching up on emails?

And what’s wrong with finishing up a time-sensitive assignment at 8pm if you took a break in the late afternoon?

Some may argue that with remote work, there really are no limits. Technically you could work endlessly like my days in the lab, but that’s where my next point comes in…

As adults, we need to stand up for ourselves and our needs…

If you do have a 40 hour/week contract, then that’s what you have. If you find yourself working more than that regularly, is it really because you need to? Or are you afraid to bring up your concerns to your supervisor? Rather than complain to everyone but your employer about being overworked, has an attempt been made to address the issue with your employer?

…but we also need to make sacrifices to achieve our goals.

Depending on the industry and how high up you are in the hierarchy of a company, demands are going to change. A VP is not going to work 40 hours a week on the dot, but would we say they’re overworked, or are they just doing what is needed to get the job done (and getting paid luxuriously for it)?

Context is essential.

What would you really do with extra free time?

A lot of us comment on all the things we could do and accomplish if we had more free time and more time off from work, but if we’re honest about it, would we really take advantage of that free time to the fullest?

So many people were “spoiled” this past week with Carnevale…schools were out, parents took time off, and everyone caused a mess in the piazza in front of my apartment 🙃

We say we’d spend more time with family, exercise more, finally get back to that hobby, go on vacation, but all of those things take work too. If ya’ll are like me, I bet you’d use that day off work to stay in bed, streaming yet another show while figuring out “treat yo’ self delivery” for dinner, versus actually checking things off the to-do list 😏.

Depending on the context of work, set hours per day don’t make sense anymore. Some days will require the extra grind, and others will be lax. As long as the job is getting done, why does it matter how many hours it took me to complete it? And when those lax days come around, take advantage of ’em!

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Despite many haters, there’s a reason why the US is so productive from an economic point of view. Can you imagine what would happen globally if the entire country took one month off every year like some European counterparts?

Work–life balance starts with us, and it’s not one size fits all. It’s up to you to decide what you need in your life, and find the employer (or perhaps go the self-employed route!) who best aligns with you.

Just my two cents. 😉

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If curiosity has led you to inquire about the Italian immigration process, any expat (or immigrant, if you see yourself living in Italy for an indeterminate amount of time) will tell you immigration is, quite frankly, a long-a** nightmare.

I suppose bureaucracy in any country can be deemed as such, but when you go through the process yourself, it can be frustrating to know that steps A, B, C, and D can all be streamlined and become one easy-peasy step A.

But by now, we should all know that “why make it easy for everyone?” is the motto of governments worldwide…

My experience with Italian immigration has been full of frustrations, but it has also been a slightly unique experience compared to most. A lot of expats I’ve met usually ended up in Italy because of love, and hence, stay in the country through marriage/family permits which (can) eventually lead to work permits.

Others end up here via the student route, for example, by completing a master’s program and (hopefully) finding work soon after.

In my case, I originally came here under the specific “ricerca” (Italian for research) permit: designed for a finite period to conduct academic research at an already-vetted Italian institution. When I decided I wanted out of my post-doc fellowship in favor of industry, I fell into a really lucky opportunity—and that’s when I realized, something called the EU Blue Card could help me transition into a proper work contract in Italy.

The following is my personal experience with obtaining an EU Blue Card to work in Italy. Please read for insight but understand every experience is unique and not all the steps I had to do may match your EU Blue Card journey. When it comes to government paperwork and steps, things are always changing, so brace yourself for any surprises that may be thrown your way!

There are also many resources online that go into the nitty-gritty about Italian visas, permits, citizenship, etc. and I am not an expert in this realm. I am only writing about my experience in the hope that it helps someone get an idea about the process (especially what they need to be prepared for and how long it takes)!

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What is the EU Blue Card?

This official site gives you all the deets (and this one for Italy) but generally speaking, the EU Blue Card is probably the smoothest of all permit options in Europe available to non-EU professionals with post-graduate degrees (master’s or PhD programs at least 3 years in length). And smooth in this case means a good 6-8 months before the card is to hand.

Given Italian bureaucracy, I’d say 6-8 months is lightning speed.

While the links above give more information, one perk of the Blue Card is that while you do have to work in the same country/job that your applied for for 18 months, after this period, you can move to another European country for work if that’s in your plans, or be on track for permanent residency in the country you got your EU Blue Card in.

The EU Blue Card in Italy is not treated like a special card lol. The template for the card is the standard “permesso di soggiorno” and it differs from other permits only in the “type of permit”/

How can I get an EU Blue Card?

One thing to make clear about Italy is that in order to (legally) work in the country with a standard work permit, you have to already have a job offer (if you currently reside outside of Italy—this step is different for non-Italian students who studied in Italy, for example).

When I came to Italy originally, I was doing a postdoctoral fellowship under the ricerca permit as mentioned earlier. I already had my PhD (a terminal, post-grad degree). Looking back, if I had known about the EU Blue Card, I probably would have insisted on this path instead of naively accepting the ricerca permit, now knowing the benefits the EU Blue Card comes with.

When I transitioned to an industry position within the pharma sector, pushing for the EU Blue Card benefited both me and my employer. I should also note that my path to this position started with a cold email (while I was in Italy during my fellowship), followed by interviews where both my future employer and I saw mutual benefits in my hire. I acknowledge that this opportunity was incredibly unique and based on the fact that 1) I had experience in the company’s line of work through my PhD and 2) had the initiative to reach out on my own, and not follow a job listing.

I encourage anyone with post-grad degrees (terminal ones especially, like PhD, MD, JD, PharmD, master’s is often fine too if it’s at least 3 years in length) to look into the Blue Card as an option for a permit, since they are considered degrees needed for “highly qualified professions”. The list is surprisingly quite broad for what is considered as such, especially for Italy.

It’s critical to have an (future) employer assist you in the process for the EU Blue Card since a work offer is needed just to get started. Finding an employer to help you with this can be an obstacle, as for a lot of Italian companies, it can take some convincing to explain why they should hire a non-EU citizen over a local Italian. But I recommend trying and keeping the following in mind:

[x] Seek a job in industry with a company that works internationally. If you are a native English speaker, this can help if the company does business with English-speaking countries and wants to build rapport with English-speaking clients (especially the US, because that is honestly where a lot of profits come from for Italian companies that do business abroad…)

[x] If you do come from academia, you can always try reaching out to “top” research institutions and proposing that you come under an EU Blue Card versus a ricerca permit and collaboration contract (the cococo, which was what I was under when I did my fellowship, is a bit more restrictive than the contract that comes with the Blue Card). In this case, coming in with a fellowship can be a huge advantage when you make your proposal, as it shows you are coming in with your own funding and can be self-sufficient to a certain extent.

[x] Don’t be afraid of cold emails. Sell your skillset confidently. That’s how I found my job.

[x] While knowledge of Italian may help, I got my job without being fluent in Italian. You can always say you are learning and would appreciate the opportunity to rapidly improve your skills in a workplace environment. Oftentimes companies willing to take on foreigners offer assistance such as with language classes, etc.

Why should I get an EU Blue Card?

An interesting observation I’ve noted while in Italy is that I have not met too many expats with an EU Blue Card. I believe it is because not too many people are aware of it, and even if one qualifies, their career goals may not include a stint abroad.

For example, a lot of post-doc fellows (people who finished their PhD and are continuing to do research) come to the US for their abroad experience. Rarely do you ever hear of an American scientist going abroad for a post-doc. If they do, it’s usually to another English-speaking country or Northern Europe. Even when I did my fellowship in Italy, I was the only American in my co-hort.

I also think I don’t hear of many expat Blue Card holders in Italy because of this sentiment – as an American, Canadian, or other citizen of a “developed” country, why should I bother with this?

Even if you’re not sure how long you plan to be abroad, insisting that this is the best option for you and your potential employer could be incredibly beneficial in the long run. It’s ultimately a great way to live in another country in the short-term, while progressing in your career. True, the pay may not match what you can get in the US for example, but if you’ve always wanted to experience life abroad, this could be a great option if you’ve “suffered” through many years of education, and now want to “experiment” with a new life and cultural experience…

So, what are the steps?

In general, this is what it was like for me before I got to hold my physical EU Blue Card:

Step 1: Employer sends in application request to Italian government (they ask for a Nulla Osta, which authorizes non-EU citizens to apply for a work visa at their home country’s Italian consulate).

My timeline: December 2021

Step 2: I had to collect the following in order to complete the application for the Nulla Osta:

1) Copy of Passport (duh.)

2) Job Offer from Company

3) Declaration of Value (the most difficult to obtain from the list)

Step 2.5: Assembling the Declaration of Value:

This is the most nightmare-ish part of the entire process, as it depends on what your local consulate* wants from you. The Declaration of Value is a document that states how your post-graduate education translates to the Italian education system.

*And your local consulate will be the one in the state where you completed your final degree. For me, this was the one in Los Angeles, even though I left LA years ago!

For the Declaration of Value, the LA consulate required that I send them:

1) A copy of my diploma declared authentic by my university’s registrar. His/her signature had to be notarized by a notary public (normally, universities get requests for this a lot if they have a large international student body, so they often have a campus notary or partnership).

2) The notarized document then had to be sealed with an “apostille” by the Secretary of State (in my case, in California).

3) A translation (from English to Italian) of my diploma AND transcripts. The consulate in LA was okay with me using a third-party translation service or even using Google translate. I assume because the lady who was in charge of Declaration of Value requests also certified the translations…

4) Passport copy (just make 10 copies and carry them around with you, to be honest…)

5) Information about my university (whether it was public or private, degree admission requirements, how long it takes for degree…)

My timeline: January – February 2022 (~5 weeks to assemble everything for Declaration of Value)

Step 3: Once I received the Declaration of Value from the LA consulate (they sent it to me via a pre-paid FedEx envelope), I handed the original copies to my employer during a business trip, and received the Nulla Osta from the government about 30 days later!

My timeline: End of March 2022

Step 4: Then I had to get back in communication with the consulate stateside (this time, the one closest to my current residence, so I didn’t have to get in touch with LA thankfully!) and ask for a long-term visa. I had to send my physical passport along with more photocopies of documents they specifically requested (i.e. local driver’s license/state ID, flight reservation, etc.). But this was more straight-forward and faster to accomplish than with the Declaration of Value.

My timeline: Sent out everything early April 2022 and received everything back within a week.

Step 5: I sent photocopies of my visa and the passport stamp* of my arrival into Italy/the first EU country I transited through before Italy to my employer, who then forwarded this information to request an appointment at the Prefeturra.

*Make sure you get this stamp!! Do not go through electronic screening at the airport, because getting that physical stamp is necessary for the next step. The airport workers may laugh at you for your odd request, but ignore them and get that stamp. It’ll save you so much trouble at the Prefeturra!

My timeline: Sent photocopies to my company early May 2022. Was scheduled an appointment at Prefeturra at end of May 2022.

Step 6: Next, I was given an appointment* at the Prefeturra to get my “contratto di soggiorno” (contract of stay). They also provide your tax code “codice fiscale” at this appointment too. In my case, I already had a codice fiscale so I gave the officials that number.

*I had the appointment end of May, but of course in pure Italian fashion, there was an issue with the office’s printer so I had to reschedule. Luckily, I was with someone from my company and they were able to help me communicate and reconfigure things. I ended up rescheduling for early July…

Step 7: In the Prefeturra “re-do” appointment, I received an appointment for the Questura (police/ immigration office, essentially) to “give” my fingerprints. Before that, I had to go to the post office to send off the forms that were completed at the Prefeturra. Why can’t the Prefeturra do that themselves? Beat’s me.

My timeline: early July 2022

Step 8: I go to the Questura a month later and get my fingerprints taken, along with having to submit a few more docs (like a passport photo and yet another passport copy). I then get instructions to come back within 25 days to pick up the card.

My timeline: early August 2022

Step 9: It indeed takes more than 25 days (probably because of this), and I actually came back six weeks later to finally get my EU Blue Card.

My timeline: Mid-September 2022.

This entire process took 9 months. Technically, you can start legally working after completing the Prefeturra appointment (you do not have to wait until you get the physical card).

But I mean, PHEW! Did you get all that? If it was a doozy to read all that, then you now understand that that is how getting to Italy is. The hard stuff happens WAY before you enter the country!

So I hope this post gives *some* idea and perspective about one “easier” option (as easy as it can get, which still isn’t easy…) to seek work opportunities in Italy if you are a non-EU citizen with a post-graduate degree yearning for a “life abroad” experience.

It can take a lot of planning, researching, sweat, and grit, but if your curiosity for life abroad won’t stop bugging you until you actually take the leap, there is nothing wrong with giving it a try. If you end up enjoying the experience and wanting to work in the country forever, then renewals and path to permanent residency should only get easier if you started off with a Blue Card.

And if you’ve never been an expat or immigrant, at least this post gives a glimpse as to how much hard work it is. Be kind to others going through the process, because it requires a lot of strength, bravery, and putting up with things they really shouldn’t have to 😉.

Thoughts? Questions? Leave a comment below!

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