american born confused desi – Page 2 – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

Pree January 26, 2023 Houston, Texas

Home Is Where the Heart Is… Which Happens to Be Houston 😂 (+ Houston Marathon 2023 Recap)

Reading Time: 8 minutes

I don’t know what it is about the American South, but every time I make a trip out to Texas, I fall in love with it more and more…as much as my exhaustion with Italy grows and grows 😅.

Spring, TX, where the’rents currently live

My trip back home for Christmas/the Houston Marathon/a surprising event I can’t share too much about just yet 👀 was just what I needed after a mentally-exhausting fall. I was back in my country—with people who have known me for years—and bounced back to my “normal” self after a few days of jetlag-induced depression (anyone else get a kick in the pants from jetlag?). The quality time I spent with those I loved in safe spaces allowed me to be introspective and process emotions that have been eating at me for months…

The “surprising event” I had to prioritize last minute also got me thinking about where my life could go, and that the best opportunities for me, are indeed outside of Italy. I hope to share more very soon, but for now, here’s proof that I dressed up, got a $80 blowout 😬, and wore makeup after many years, just to make a solid impression:

I also decided I might as well tackle #23 of my 30 in my 30’s list head-on, if I was going to go through all the trouble of addressing my “appearance”. I went from nail biter at Christmas, to a full set of acrylic nails:

Deciding not to bite my nails on Christmas Day…

Every time I make a trip back home, I also prioritize the essential errands, like sending things off to ThredUp and thrifting, shopping at my favorite stores and trying new flavors of my fav perishibles (see below for my Olipop haul…bought at an unheard of price of $0.99 a POP!), and participating in care package exchanges with friends like Allie! I sent her a box of goodies from Italy (I hauled everything in my suitcase and shipped it all from Texas…because, no way to international shipping!!), and she sent me some of her Pittsburgh favorites as well as some general American snacks she knew I’d be missin’:

I also prioritize trips to Austin, because I definitely see myself buying a home there one day…for now, I am grateful it is my sister’s turf for the next few years, because it means enjoying all the fun stuff this city has to offer with a tried-and-true companion.

Thrifting. Vegan food. Beautiful lakes. Animal lovers everywhere. People who smile and wave when you go for a long run, and who don’t give you resting b*tchface. It’s wonderful, ya’ll.

But with even with all of these fun, unexpected/exciting things, the main reason for my “long” stay (3 weeks? Long? Not long enough!!) was to run the Chevron Houston Marathon, my 8th marathon!

I got cowboy boots…can I be a Texan now plz?

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The last time I ran a marathon was in 2019 in Los Angeles (it was my fifth consecutive LA). I remember feeling so burnt out by the distance and ready for a decent-sized break. Plus, Italy was already percolating in my mind as that’s when I was seeking out investigators and research Institutes in Milan to apply for my fellowship 😅.

Little did I know that the pandemic would be that break I needed..but it happened for a reason.

I failed at a marathon comeback attempt in Italy (my trip to Verona is bittersweet because of it…), and so I knew my next marathon would have to be back in America if I wanted to “succeed”.

After getting settled into a new job, I was able to focus on a new race goal and picked Houston because the timing was perfect (decent weather in January!) and I would be able to have enough time to prepare.

I met with a coach based in Houston in early summer, and he gave me weekly workouts to do while I was in Italy. I’ve had experience working with a coach before when I was in LA, but I was happier with this training cycle overall, as I preferred the coaching style of this coach compared to my previous coach.

Workouts included one speed workout, a long run, a steady run that would be held at goal marathon pace, followed by ALL the easy runs you could imagine. People often forget that improvements come from not how fast you go out each time, but how often your prioritize slow and easy runs…that’s when the magic begins.

My training cycle began in July, and ended mid-January (6.5 months) since the marathon was January 15th. In October, I ran a local half marathon (in Monza), but didn’t PR or feel too well because I was dealing with a horrible bout of anxiety spawned by an event that happened earlier in the month...I am so sensitive to my surroundings and my body internalizes way too much… the curse of an empath? 🤔

But even with that, I’m still happy with how my training cycle progressed from that point. I was hitting my workouts to a T, and seeing improvements in my speed interval pacing (doing sub-7:00 for 0.25 and 0.5 mile intervals!). About five weeks out from marathon day, my coach started having me do long runs over 20 miles. It got to the point I was running one 24 mile run two weeks out from race day, and a 22 miler just a week before race day!

I was able to get out of my head and just do what I needed to do. It was the first time I got past mental burn out in a long while, and the first time in a long time I was doing 20+ milers!

So with how the training cycle played out, I was hoping to PR with a 3:45. My PR up until that point was a 3:53:37, which I earned back in 2017. Even with these new goals, I knew anything could happen on race day… just had to convince myself that I put in the work and now I just had to let things happen as they should.

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I was able to go to downtown Houston with my dad the day before to pick up my race packet, and for the rest of the day, I tried to eat “safe” (no fibrous or rich foods that could get in the way of digestion, haha) and then ofcourse, go to bed early.

The next day, the two of us drove back down to downtown, and after walking around in circles for a bit, I found my starting place at corral B. I was able to make small talk with two other women as we waited, and fortunately it wasn’t too cold. At the same time, I wanted it to be, since I know I don’t do well in heat + humidity, which Houston is famous for.

Others on the other hand had no issue buying NWT clothing as “start line cover-ups” and tossing them over the fences when it was time to race. Talk about fast fashion* 🙄.

*The race organizers did say that any clothing left at the start would be donated to local shelters…but still…

By the time I made it to the start line, it was around 7:20am. I felt good at the start, but tried to keep my pace steady and not go out too strong. My per mile splits for the entire 4:06:39 (I know, I didn’t PR, but let me explain…) were as follows:

I was doing really well up until mile 15. I even found the 3:45 pace group from mile 6-mile 9 and they helped me push myself for that period. My legs were beginning to give out at mile 9, but I still maintained race pace more or less.

I also know that in the marathon, pain comes and goes…you feel horrible for some random miles, but then if you fuel and hydrate properly, you body suddenly forgets the pain and pushes through…until it feels the pain again 😂!

Around mile 17, I was starting to feel gastric distress, so I made a pit stop at a porta potty. It might have been in my head though, because…no movement? Haha, TMI!

From mile 18 onwards, I kept the “only two more miles till hydration” mindset. I walked through water/Gatorade stops and the method seemed to work well and help me push through. Miles 24-26 were HORRENDOUS. Funny enough, since mile 24 was the longest distance I ran leading up to race day. Even though it was “only 2 more miles”, my legs felt HEAVY.

I also started to choke up and feel emotional. I wanted to cry not from the pain, but from the fact that this was happening again…I was going to finish my 8^th 26.2, and even if most people in my life would not be able to comprehend how remarkable that is, it was enough for me to tell myself that I was doing something amazing.

I had enough in me to speed through the finish, and then crawl on through the finisher’s zone. I called my dad in order to find him at the family meet-up area, and yes I finally got a good cry out!

I didn’t PR, but I…

✅ Finished healthy and strong.

✅ Hydrated well (hydration was organized SO well on the course!) and fueled well throughout the race.

✅ Happily accepted the outcome of the race and praised myself for the feat I just accomplished.

I’ve been telling myself since 2017 that I’m going to get faster, that in this-and-that race I’ll PR again, but it’s been a long, winding journey with running since then…

This training cycle has been so helpful in that it has helped me realize that with the right support, I can achieve the goals I want to achieve. My coach and I agreed that a 3:45 is in me, and that for 2023, working on 5k/10k speed, followed by the half, and then a full in the fall is a reasonable plan.

I hope to be back in the US soon enough to tackle all this and more…whoops, did I say too much too soon 😮?

Well, life’s too short to not speak the truth, and chase dreams that take shape day by day…

Pree December 26, 2022 Malta

All About Balance

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Even though I am deprived of Thanksgiving when I am in Italy, we do get a string of holidays the first week of December.

They are Catholic in origin, but it’s free time nonetheless!

And since this year’s local holidays fell on a Wednesday and Thursday, I was forced to take the Friday that came after off. Yes, forced, because in Italy, companies “force” you to use the 20 plus days of vacation you have for the year when it suits them! Remember folks, there is always a catch…

Anyways, I had 3 days total, plus the weekend to go on a “long” weekend away, and it was the perfect opportunity to meet up with my “lab bestie” E., who lives in Germany. We met during my PhD and had our share of fun and harrowing moments in the lab.

I like to think we are at better places in our lives compared to that experience, haha!

I was flexible on where we could go for vacation together, while she immediately thought of MALTA! — a tiny island country just below Sicilia.

Valletta, the capital of Malta. Despite it being “closer” to the equator, we still experienced chilly days in December.

Despite its proximity to Italy, it was yet another place that didn’t escape British conquest…

Some neighborhoods did remind me of Britain. This looks like Notting Hill lol.

The last time I traveled with someone for a multi-day vacation was…actually with E! Back in 2018! I had visited her in Germany, and we traveled around Northwest Germany together, along with a weekend to Amsterdam. I remember it being a wonderful time, and now that we came back from Malta, it’s interesting to be able to compare my most recent and past experiences traveling with another person …and it has inspired me to write about the fact that it truly is all about balance when your travel plans include more than yourself!

Rather than go on and on about what I did in Malta, let the pics speak for themselves, while I reflect on something different…

Sliema, Malta. Recommend staying at one of the cheaper hotels in this neighborhood so you can be across the street from this view!

Why Traveling with Others is a Lifesaver

⊛ Someone can watch your stuff while you use the bathroom.

This honestly is one of the best things about group travel. I’ve spent so many solo trips doing the “bladder dance” while traveling because I didn’t want to drag my luggage into airport bathroom stalls, or get up to use the lavatory on the plane! On our trip to Malta, E. and I were able to rely on each other for luggage watch duty, while we took all the time we needed during bathroom breaks. Also, I was free to drink all the water I wanted as a result, and stay hydrated!

You can also depend on someone to help watch your seat when you get seconds from the (free) breakfast buffet at the hotel 🐷

⊛ If you travel with a not-so-picky-eater, you can order “tapas-style” and split the bill afterwards.

For most of the places we ate at, E. and I were able to order for ourselves with no issue, but traveling with others can be “fun” when it comes to trying all sorts of new foods. It also helps if you travel partner(s) are hungry around the same time you are, so that one person isn’t a hangry grump while the other has no appetite—that’s not fun to deal with!

A lot of times, we did just order for ourselves though!

Vegetarian Falafel Plate :9 A lot of Turkish kebap-style places lol

⊛ More people involved in a trip means more brainpower to plan out what to do.

I am very flexible when it comes to sightseeing. Perhaps that’s why my “solo adventures” are so boring, because I tend to stick to safe, predictable activities like walking around whatever city I’m in. I’m comfortable using local public transit, and can get familiar with the streets because I’ll most likely run them beforehand, but if it requires a *little* more effort, like paying for a museum entrance ticket, I’m most likely going to stay away if I’m on my own.

I would have most likely not trekked out on my own to go on a boat ride through the Blue Grotto, for example, if I was travelling solo.

Why Traveling with Others is Frustrating

⊛ Energy levels are at risk of not being in sync with your travel partner’s.

There were several times on the trip where I felt exhausted and in need of a nap. I know that when it comes to traveling with others, priorities on what to see, where to eat, and how to spend precious trip time can differ. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t need *too* much control of an itinerary, but I am sensitive to doing too many things at once, or not planning food and rest breaks properly.

‘Caffe Cordina in Valletta can’t be missed! It’s super cozy, well-known, and the perfect place to get a coffee + cake

⊛ You need to be mindful and make time for “alone time”.

This is line with the earlier point about energy levels. It’s okay to have “alone time” when you are traveling with others…I’d go as far to say it’s essential. Yes, even with my current stance on solo travel, I believe taking time for yourself, away from others on a trip, can help to recollect your energy and be happier when you rejoin your travel companion(s).

My solo time always comes in the form of morning runs. I have yet to travel with anyone who likes waking up before dawn on vacation to exercise 😂.

⊛ Communication is key, otherwise passive aggressiveness can ensue.

Overall, my friend and I had a great, memorable trip to Malta sprinkled with fun times, but I have to be honest and say there were moments where we did butt heads. It can be difficult for most of us to communicate exactly how we feel, especially because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, but not expressing feelings at all can lead to some irritable exchanges, which is what happened with us at times 😅!

But this is okay. It’s important to acknowledge that this is something that can come up with partner or group travel. It’s also understandable if you want to avoid confrontation and awkward interactions, and don’t bring up what’s upsetting you to your travel partners as a result. However…if you’re brave enough to do it, maybe it could make the rest of the trip even better? 🤔

Is it Worth Taking the “Good” with the “Bad”?

I personally prefer traveling with others over being by myself 100% of the time. Alone time during group travel is absolutely necessary however, especially for any type of introvert (even the ones who can *pretend to* be extroverted, lol).

I was truly excited and happy to see my friend after over four years, and at the same time, I was glad when the trip concluded and I could take a break with myself!

At the end of the day, it is all about balance, as cliché as it sounds. We may not always achieve it—especially when it comes to unpredictable events like travel—but we can certainly give it a good ol’ try.

Where do you fall on the social travel spectrum—paralyzed without a partner? Or savor that sweet, sweet solo time?

Pree December 20, 2022 Bari, Italy

Beautiful Bari

Reading Time: 7 minutes

Update from February 2023! The place where I stayed, owned and run by A-L and her husband, is now ready for vacation rental (https://www.airbnb.com/h/themonsignors)! Please check it out and I highly recommend you stay with them when you plan your Puglia/Bari visit!!

So…my favorite kind of pizza does have pineapple on it. I “respect” that this combo is abhorred in Italy (they missin’ out, but alrighty then…), and I wouldn’t dare to ask for it at a pizzeria, but that doesn’t leave me with much as a vegetarian in regards to variety…

Verdure pizza is often topped with way too much zucchini and eggplant (my least favorite veggies, haha). Then there are the ones with formaggio on top of formaggio (Chuck E. Cheese would honestly pass out at the sight of quattro formaggi 😅).

So in Italy, I’m glad I at least have Pugliese to turn to—a cheese pizza topped with onion. It’s much simpler than I’d like it to be, but at least it has a delicious, “spicy” vegetable to kick it up a notch!

Pugliese is also related to Puglia, the “heel” of Italy, and Bari it’s capital. I was finally able to venture to the region and meet an online friend IRL last weekend!

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A-L and I met on Instagram as expats in Italy, and she is one of the few people I have kept in touch with after leaving the platform. She was incredibly kind, offering a rental (that she and her husband are renovating) for me to stay in for the weekend I was visiting! Also, she has the cutest rescue in all of Bari:

I could have taken a train to Bari from Milan, but it would have been an arduous ordeal. Thanks to cheap domestic flights (Ryanair comin’ through), I was able to book a flight from Bergamo to Bari for a little over 50 euros. It was also my first time flying out of Bergamo, and it was so much easier to handle than going through Malpensa, or even Linate!

I made it to Bari around noon, and A-L, her husband, and lil Dun Dun were able to pick me up. From there, we drove into the city of Bari…

A-L and her husband brought along two wheels of foccacia from their local foccaceria! One was covered in onions (obviously my favorite) and the other was decked out in tomatoes and olives (pitted). Didn’t snap a pic because I was too hungry to grab my phone—plus, the bread was oily 😅

The city center was small enough to walk around within an hour, to at least see the important stuff.

My favorite was pasta street, and the four-legged guardian at the entrance:

I learned that “ear pasta” (orecchiette) is a Pugliese tradition, and that the homemade versions made by the “little old ladies” of pasta street are often left out to dry like in the tray shown above. How can they be so trusting of the most-likely hungry tourist passing by 🤔?

After the little walking tour of central Bari, we drove about 20 minutes south to A-L and her husband’s real hometown Mola di Bari.

Now this is the Italy I’ve always pictured, he he.

A-L and her husband had English lessons to teach, so I was able to unpack and rest for a bit before we headed out for dinner. But before dinner, there was time for a little aperitivo in the main square. Even though Milan was freezing when I left, it was still a bit cool in the South, even with my jacket…

We went back to central Bari for dinner, which was an interesting experience. A-L really wanted me to try a signature Bari dish, fave e cicorie (fava bean puree and cooked chicory), but the restaurant said they could only make one (instead of three, for all of us present). Uhmmm, okay 🤔? So we ended up splitting a bunch of small plates for dinner, which was fine since I was able to sample a little bit of everything.

I was so excited to get back and go to sleep, but I was also nervous about having to fit in my long run for the week the next morning (a 17 miler—marathon training can’t stop!). The houses in Mola are incredibly cozy, but take caution when climbing up the stairs, haha! A-L’s rental was four floors, with an incredible view of a solitary palm tree and the Adriatic:

The next morning, I got up around 6:00am to have enough time for my run. I already saw some local runners on the road, and took it as motivation. Surprisingly, I felt like I could go on and on! Most of the time, I dread long runs over 13 miles because it’s always hard to fathom the mental as much as the physical distance…but being by the water must have induced a calming effect within me!

Whoever is living in that house…yoooooooo

Also, cats.

After the run and a warm shower, I was treated to a nice (pea protein) pancake breakfast at A-L’s, her husband’s, and Dun-Dun’s place just a few houses down 😂. I was in the most Italian-esque town possible, and that’s where I satiated a long-standing pancake craving! Go figure.

Immediately after breakfast, we made our way south to some other tiny (yet famous) towns along the coast. It was also starting to drizzle a bit, so we made sure to pack umbrellas. First up was Polignano a Mare, and the views certainly speak for themselves:

A fun fact A-L shared with me was that the original Volare singer was from here. I will admit that when I think of Volare, I immediately think of Vitamin C’s version circa early 2000s/Lizzie McGuire Movie 😂.

While the views were breathtaking, it wasn’t like we could go for a swim with even more clouds looming over us (🌧), so we then headed on over to Monopoli, A-L’s favorite:

Walking around in the cold caused us to develop a craving for something warm, so a coffee break soon followed! I was also treated to a sweet treat that is local to the region—I’ve forgotten the name, but it was a lightly-fried dough spiral doused in honey. Gimme!

We soon returned back to Mola for a quick nap (me!) and A-L wanted to test out the oven in the rental since the kitchen was brand new. That means I was able to taste some fresh banana bread (with chocolate chips and sunflower seeds…too bad I didn’t take a pic!).

It got dark fairly quickly, and there was quite a downpour when we headed back out again. This time A-L wanted to take me to Alberobello and Ostuni, which were other famous Pugliese landmarks more inland.

Alberobello is an “Italian smurf village”. Obviously it’s more “instagrammable” in the sunlight, but it still held its charm in a dark and cold rainy setting.

Then we drove to Ostuni, known as the “white city” due to the majority of the whitewashed buildings that make up the city.

I found the architecture quite gorgeous, and I could take pictures for hours, but my hunger was finally getting to me. We were hoping to dine at a local restaurant and to try some (veg-friendly) regional classics, but of course, the restaurant was closed.

But Plan B was not bad, at all. Because a cute little bistro by the name of Raparossa that specializes in vegan cuisine was ready to welcome us with open arms 😂.

A-L and her husband are both vegan, and I could tell they were more excited than I was to chow down (haha, and I was super hungry and excited so that says something!). Most Italian restaurants are not extremely vegan-friendly (I get by as a vegetarian, getting my fill of milk and eggs, no doubt about that…), so when a restaurant in town offers an all-vegan menu, it’s nice to relax and pick whatever you want without doubt!

We had everything from shared appetizers to dessert. I only took pictures of my main—a risotto that came topped with caramelized grapes and vegan (!!) gorgonzola…

Why can’t ALL Italian food be vegan-ized…

A-L also ordered the risotto (lol), and we both agreed that the “gorgonzola” wasn’t that strong. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing, since “real” gorgonzola actually tastes like soap to me! Haha, fun genetic “mutations” in action 😛.

The restaurant is also involved in community outreach (lol)—they feature some rescue animals on a picture wall near the entrance:

I was able to rest for an extra hour Sunday morning, but a speed workout was calling my name. Thankfully I fueled well, and was able to hit my intervals and complete my workout with a renewed sense of energy. My flight back to Milan was in the afternoon, so the gang and I had a quick breakfast, and walked around Mola again before it was time to head to the airport.

I can only imagine what this quaint Southern Italian town is like in the Spring/Summer…but I loved that I first experienced it in the off-season, rain and all…

Fun fact about the middle pic: if you see a chair with an assortment of vegetables and goods, it means that the “owner” of that chair has more of those items for sale back at their place! It is apparently a custom unique to Mola!

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Knowing that good company makes me feel so, so good still makes me nervous about solo trips going forward. I know if I had visited Bari on my own, I wouldn’t have felt as good as I described here. I’m also not too sure I would have made it to all the tiny towns in a matter of a day, lol. Great company (including furry pets!) truly make such a difference, and make these trips so much more memorable. I semi-joked with A-L that if she ever needs a dog/house-sitter, I will gladly fly back and use my vacation days just to chill with Dun Dun in Bari 😆.

I mean, I was told Bari—Puglia even—is a different beast in the summer…

Pree November 7, 2022 Cagliari, Italy

Cagliari Reflections: I Really Don’t Want to be Alone

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Moving to Italy a little over two years ago has changed me as a person, immensely. It’s brought out sides of me I never knew needed to be unleashed, but they had reason to:

“Tough Boss Pree“, who has no trouble throwing around the “f word” (to my Dad’s dismay, lol), was someone I had to embrace in order to feel some sort of control in a foreign land I otherwise had no voice in.

“Vulnerable Pree” is someone I can’t help but want to give a big bear hug to. Learning and practicing to love unconditionally (self and others) truly is a skill that needs to be nurtured and taken care of. It’s frightening because it’s like exposing your soul, but it is something everyone should find the courage to do because the payoff can be beautiful.

“Extrovert in an Introvert’s Body Pree” is someone I’m proud to have discovered here. I’ve taken initiative so many times in the name of trying to establish connections and friendships. Professionally, I have no problem (in English) effectively communicating. Ha, there’s a reason “communication” is in my job title! It’s definitely daunting to put feelers out all the time and not have every attempt be successful—for every 20 girls I’ve met in Italy, I only happen to meet two on a “frequent” basis, and even that takes work!

These three personas of mine existed before Italy, but now I feel like they are pretty much what characterize my identity at this point.

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Even though I’ve done the solo travel bit and I’m no longer a fan, I decided to head down to the South of Italy for a change of scenery while remote working. I planned the trip two weeks in advance, and found a good plane ticket deal along with a place to stay (a room plus private bathroom) that was also reasonable in price (87 euros for 3 nights…not bad!).

When I told people of my plans, alot were curious as to why Cagliari? Why the capital city of Sardegna in the month of October? Why were you not like everyone else spending three weeks roasting like a chicken on the shores of Poetto Beach in August?

Because I’m Pree, and I do things my way—that’s essentially what solo travel is at the root of it.

Thursday was a travel day in the morning, and both Thursday and Friday were remote working days. Friday morning, I was able to venture out for a morning run with views by the water.

I went out to the city center for lunch, dinner, and ice cream (lol) but was overwhelmed/tired by work during the day, so I retreated back to my lodging to rest up early both nights.

I was also feeling a bit down about being alone, and the thought of planning things for the next day seemed daunting… still, I made a list of things to distract myself with, including figuring out where to eat. Even though I’ve had a troubled past with food, it’s often been my default item to go to for comfort—seeking out a cool restaurant with unique vegetarian or vegan-friendly options. Delicious desserts. Writing about it after…

Calories have always been my tried-and-true companions…

*Side note – I’m active on Yelp, and reviewed all of my Cagliari eats there. Follow me there if you are a food+pics kind of person too 😂

I did however *try* to find an alternate distraction via a walking tour. Ultimately I’m glad I did, because the vibe of my trip turned around when I met a new friend on said walking tour.

On Saturday, I slept in a bit and then took the bus down to get breakfast (Bus No. 8 and I got very familiar with eachother over the few days I was in Cagliari, lol). Even though I ran a 6 miler the day before, my body craved “slow” cardio so I skipped my normal morning run. I did however plan to attend a walking tour, secretly hoping I’d meet a new pal to help me distract myself more in Cagliari.

Before making my way to the tour’s meeting point, I stopped at Necropoli di Tuvixeddu , a park of ancient tombs. It was quite underwhelming on a Saturday morning, but nevertheless I tried to snap a couple pics:

I eventually made my way to the walking tour meeting point, atop a hill in Old Town Cagliari. My tour guide was a local, and I was soon joined by an elderly white couple on a cruise layover (lol typical!).

Thankfully for me though, I ended up meeting another girl solo traveling, from Milan! We got to talking and she actually works close to where I live. My goal was now to confirm plans with her for the rest of the day, rather than pay attention to the tour 😂! I was determined to redeem myself from the ennui that was building up from the trip thus far by making a new friend.

We got to go into a university library and look at some REALLY vintage books

By the end of the tour, the both of us ended up getting lunch at one of the most famous bistros in Cagliari (Libarum Nostrum) but they callously placed us out in the direct sunlight. I also didn’t want to pay too much for lunch, so I got a plate of spaghetti which… actually wasn’t that bad?

We were both pretty tired after lunch, so we agreed to retreat back to our respective Airbnbs, charge our electronics, and meet up at Poetto Beach in a few hours. I headed out at 5:30pm, and took the bus down to the center as usual. However, the next bus was bit confusing to figure out.

I eventually figured out where the bus stop was (after pushing myself through a group of crazy kids!) and headed down to Poetto. It was a beautiful drive with the sun setting, but that was it…the sun was setting!

Silly me packed a towel thinking we’d be able to sit out on the sand and enjoy the waves. By the time I got down, it was already twilight.

It was still gorgeous though.

My new friend eventually came down and we both realized our beach plans no longer made sense 🤦‍♀️. We instead walked for a bit, and then found the closest bus stop to get back to the center.

I could have made it a priority to make it to the beach “on-time”, but I was content spending the cool-weathered evening walking with a friend vs. hours of alone time on the beach during the day…

For dinner, we thought back to what our walking tour guide recommended and remembered Taccas because of the Sardinian specialty they offered—deep fried pecorino cheese topped with honey. We were sold.

The city center is always packed in the evenings, but we got food within a decent time frame and were able to head back to our respective Airbnbs around 10pm via bus (seriously, you don’t need a car for Cagliari—you can survive with handy-dandy bus numbah 8 😂!).

I left for Milan the next morning, and got back in the early afternoon. I didn’t expect to find another solo traveler on my walking tour, especially since my previous solo trips did not prove successful in the arena of friendship (lol), but low expectations met with pleasant surprises helped turned this trip around.

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This trip was also planned on a whim, to serve as a distraction from life events that left me raw in early October. Ultimately what made this trip “redeemable” was hanging out with another person. It’s crazy how “extroverted” I’ve become in recent months, and I still am not sure if it is a natural transition, or a mechanism my brain has adopted to avoid feeling alone and lonely…

…because being an expat is lonely. And definitely scary. I’ve learned you can’t put all your “eggs in one basket” so to speak, and while planning does help my (still) type-A personality, anxiety does set in that I just can’t shake away—especially if I find myself in an isolated moment in a foreign land that does everything in its power to not make me feel at home.

I still encourage everyone to experience solo travel in their lives. Being alone shouldn’t be scary, but I have spent a lot of my life doing things alone. It’s now become something I dread thinking about, but sometimes it is more convenient to just get out, go, and get it done.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone or alone time, I’m just at a point in my life where more of it terrifies me. The thought of choosing to be alone and not have anyone care or think about you, or want to be with you…I think that is what has made it feel so crippling to me as I’ve gotten older.

Nowadays, the warmth and presence of other souls restores my energy, as much as being alone used to do for me…

Cagliari was nice, but I know I am happiest every time I’m visiting my Dad in suburb Texas. My sister in good ol’ Austin. My bestie in Vegas. Falling asleep on the couch with a special someone while Netflix is playing for hours all weekend.

I’d rather my life be full of people over places. Anything to avoid the heart-wrenching pull of being alone.

Pree October 29, 2022 Mandello del Lario, Italy

Hiking Mandello del Lario

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A few weekends ago, I had the opportunity to join eight other expat girls on a hike in Mandello del Lario, a town I had no idea existed since it was my first time going past Lecco, a major city on the other side of Lake Como.

I am no expert in sports, except running. I guess I could also throw tennis in there since it was a large part of my high school years, but don’t ask me about anything else, haha!

When it comes to hiking, I’ve always enjoyed the thought of it. Unfortunately, it’s only stayed as a thought because my close circle of friends and family aren’t exactly outdoor types. While they do enjoy the occasional walk for “fresh air”, I’m sure they would have been ANGRY with me if they had joined me on this particular hike…

Sliding down in mud, steep “rock climbing”, gripping onto chains for dear life, almost falling into rapid-flowing streams…

I was a bit nervous too at first, but by the end of the day, I felt like a total bad-a**, frankly speaking!

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The day started at a “decent” hour in the morning. I personally would not have minded if we left at the crack of dawn, but I don’t expect Italians to favor that request—even if they are expats!

Most of the girls caught the train from Milano Centrale, but since I recently moved to Monza, I was able to save an extra 15 minutes in travel (well, sitting in anticipation on the train…I still had to walk over from my apartment 😅).

I met a girl who was originally from Peru at Monza Station who was also joining the hike. We had a nice chat about our life experiences in Italy and she casually mentioned she did part of this hike before with her CHOW CHOW DOG (I was literally squealing with excitement).

The train ride was about 20 minutes (time flies by when you’re talking up a storm!) and we met the other seven girls when we got off. There were some awkward silences here and there as we all tried to figure out how to get to the trails, but someone mentioned coffee and that helped break the ice!

We found a small café and got ourselves together. One of the girls (who is Italian) spoke with a local and figured out exactly where to go. That helped.

Trail start: we went on the “del fiume” path

It took us about 20 minutes to get to the trail start—and off we went! We officially “clocked in” at around 10:45/11:00. I’m actually not sure of the exact time because I was already in deep conversation with the Italian (working as a post-doc) and a master’s student from Dubai about the toxicity of academia 😅. Oh the things that bond humanity!

The first two hours or so felt like a walk in nature. There were some steep parts, but nothing one would call difficult. I had enough energy to keep conversations going, and snap pics along the way—including one of this local:

We stopped for “lunch”/a break when we got to the first main waterfall (which some of the girl’s cutely referred to as “cascade”). I brought a simple, ready-to-eat deli sandwich, yogurt, and chips—not my first choice, but your options for ready-meals suitable for hiking are limited for a vegetarian in Italy!

We definitely needed the rest because the next segment of the hike would require ALL of our energy (and bravery)! One of the hardest parts of the hike had us literally rock climbing. There was a chain strewn across a row of boulders, and we had to hold onto it for dear life while climbing sideways à la Spiderman.

It took us a bit longer to get past this, even more steep climbs, and rocky, narrow paths (I lost my water bottle at this point which I had filled with fresh water from the cascade! Darn!), but we waited for everyone to finish before moving onto our real rest spot.

No one was getting left behind.

At this point, we all settled in in the grass. Some girls had their “real” lunches while others napped. I tried not to be annoying while crunching on the rest of my BBQ chips!

We stayed for a full hour, and then decided to head back to avoid getting back too late/past sunset. The hike back was more on the annoying side, only because we were all starting to fall from our endorphin high and knew it would take us at least two hours to get back, even on the “easy, shortcut” paths. I had brought old running shoes for the hike, and had to be very careful since the tread had mostly worn down and I found myself slipping in some areas…

I also found myself a lot more quiet on this leg of the hike. I was hyperfocused on not falling, while also consumed in my own thoughts while some of the girls who still had energy chatted around me.

Views on level land: can’t leave without seeing a cat!

When we got back into the city of MdL, it felt nice to walk on flat roads again. Some of the girls were in awe when I told them I was doing a long run the next day (had to fit it in before a half marathon the following week…), and to be honest, my legs were totally fine! My arms were the ones feeling all the DOMS the next day…

We took the train back after 6pm, and I got back home a little before 7.

I was able to get off in Monza and avoid the Saturday night craziness of Milan. Needless to say, the physical activity of the day left me a good kind of tired and I slept well that night.

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MdL was a great day experience, but I honestly don’t know when and if I’ll be going on another similar hike anytime soon with “winter” approaching (quotes because ya’ll…I’m still wearing shorts in October…I see Italians bundled up already like we’re in the North Pole but I think it’s out of habit vs. necessity!). Eventually, it would be nice to hike the Dolomites, but I’m also not in a rush.

It kind of looked like the Dolomites anyways…

The next couple weeks will be insanely busy, so it was nice that I was able to take a break early on and finally enjoy what (Italy’s) nature has to offer.

Are you an outdoor/active person?