Not Siberia, Serbia

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You can also read more about Western Serbia/planning a trip to the region on Aneesa’s blog, Expat Panda.

I hope I don’t jinx myself by saying this, but 2024 has been a fantastic year for travel so far. It started off with Maui, during which I finally felt thrilled to be a solo traveler. Then followed a flurry of work trips, which weren’t as stressful as you’d imagine. All of the trips were domestic, but I can’t deny the fact that I enjoyed adding points and airline miles to my loyalty programs, while being able to carry out my job in places like Washington D.C., San Diego, and Tampa.

Those work trips did eventually get exhausting though, so I was more than ready for some PTO by the time May rolled around. I wasn’t really sure what to expect with Serbia (not Siberia, folks), but I knew it would be nothing short of worthwhile—especially since it was an adventure I’d be sharing with a friend I met through circumstances only a millennial/post-millennial could relate to!

I first learned about Aneesa’s blog—Expat Panda—when I “left” the Instagram world for about a year. Prior to what ended up being a sabbatical of sorts, I had been active on Instagram as @secondgendesi to promote this blog and to also connect with other expats since I was an expat in Italy at the time.

I left a comment on Aneesa’s blog introducing myself, but since I wasn’t active on Instagram, we didn’t really connect until more than a year later! In that time, I co-started the podcast Pour the Coffee and came back to Instagram with a refreshed (and more detached from the toxicities of it!) attitude. I reached out to Aneesa over the summer of 2023 to see if she would be interested in being a guest on our podcast. I’m glad she said yes, because it led to one of our best episodes yet and it was on a relevant topic too. From there, our virtual friendship grew! You can check out her Pour the Coffee episode here.

At the time of recording, Aneesa was still living in Qatar, but shared with us that she would be relocating to Serbia by the time our episode was planned to go live. Despite having lived in Europe for almost three years by the time this episode was recorded, it never occurred to me that exploring Serbia, and Eastern Europe in general, would be worth considering.

I’m glad I didn’t overlook this country! And I’m excited knowing that I have so much to look forward to within the Balkans!

As I wrapped up trips to Austria and Portugal & Barcelona later that year, my mind was already churning about where to go for 2024. In this post about my Austria trip, I reflected on my new mindset about travel and how I now prefer to prioritize people over location, among other realizations. Before I knew it, I was coordinating a week-long trip to Serbia to see Aneesa and explore a new country.

There wasn’t too much going on prior to my trip, but Aneesa was instrumental in ironing out the foundational itinerary, especially in regards to our planned group travel to Western Serbia. As a Type-A person who loves seeing my Google Calendar light up with overlapping colors across several weeks, I appreciated Aneesa’s similar mindset towards detail and planning ahead.

You won’t believe how many people I know who revel in doing things at the very last minute—what an anxiety-inducing way to live!

Besides booking my flights, I didn’t do much in regards to prior research before the trip. For me, I was open to anything as long as I with like-minded company. Knowing that a “girls group trip” was part of the plan was what I was looking forward to the most. I was also heavily consumed with work travel, and couldn’t visualize the trip until I got closer to the date of my departure.

Prior to the trip, I also reached out to other friends and acquaintances from my time living in Italy, letting them know I was going to be in Serbia and that if their schedules allowed, it would be great to meet with them as well. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out for anyone I contacted, but my dear friend Glenis (and guest on Episode 11 of Pour the Coffee 😉) put me in touch with two of her friends who would be in Serbia at the time of the trip, and one of them was able to join the group trip we had planned for the weekend I was there. Ultimately, it resulted in an amazing outcome!

I booked my flights back in January through KLM, my preferred airline for Europe travel since CDG/Paris is an absolute nightmare. I left Houston around 3pm local time, and arrived early in Amsterdam the next day. My attempts to use the one of the lounges backfired, since anyone not in Business or First Class, including those with lounge memberships through other programs (i.e. Priority Pass), had to get on a waitlist no earlier than three hour prior to boarding their next flight. Needless to say, the five hours I was looking forward to killing in the lounge were spent trying to stay awake at crowded seating areas across Schipol’s Terminal 2.

I eventually made it to Belgrade, Serbia’s capital (and once the capital of entire Yugoslavia), and in one piece to Aneesa’s place. After settling in, unpacking, trying not to overwhelm the cutie boy that is Chai (🐱) and being treated to a home-cooked meal, I was able to call it a night and try to curb any sign of jetlag that might be brewing.

View from suburbia into Belgrade

🧳

Day 1

My first full day on the ground was a Friday, and I was able to wake up at a leisurely pace. Since our road trip was planned to start in the afternoon, I was able to spend the morning going for a run and getting a feel for Belgrade by foot.

It started off as a run comprised of steep hills and lush green scenery. I ran a little bit into the city, expecting passersby to be stunned since it had started to lightly rain, but most people seemed preoccupied with their own lives, lol! I managed to find myself in Hajd (Hyde) Park and stopped whenever there was an opportunity to take quirky pics.

Views from my run – someone’s home (??), a monument to one of Serbia’s famous long distance runners, a random head in Hajd Park

However, things took a miserable turn when the light rain turned into a heavy downpour. I also took a wrong turn, so I had to add an extra mile to my run that included a steep climb up all while getting drenched to my bones.

The funny thing was, by the time Aneesa and I left to pick up our rental car for the weekend group trip a few hours later, there was not a single cloud in the sky 🤔. And while this seemed like an anomaly, what we experienced next was something neither of us could have predicted…

While Uber and Lyft are not active in Serbia, the taxi game is still strong. Residents are able to utilize apps to book taxis as well as use public transport to get around. On an otherwise normal Friday afternoon, Aneesa and I got into a taxi with no concerns other than to get to the car rental place on time—but after about 20 minutes on the road in what seemed like the opposite direction, we started to have our doubts.

These doubts began to rise when Boro, our most-likely senile excuse of a taxi driver, wanted to drop us off in a random neighborhood nowhere near our car rental stop, and nowhere near any decipherable English signs that could be used as landmarks for Google maps. Thankfully, Aneesa was able to get a hold of her landlord who speaks Serbian, and we assumed that after words were exchanged over the phone, Boro now knew where to take us (although why he was having issues in the first place is beyond me…).

We were still on edge as we approached the airport of all places. Once I confirmed from the backseat that Boro had put in some random address that would lead us to getting dropped off in two hours, I knew we had to put a stop to this nightmare. Boro also seemed to be confused (but why?? LOL!) and seemed relieved that we wanted to get down at the airport. Thankfully, a second taxi driver got us to where we needed to be (a local Avis for our car rental pic-up). Unfortunately, the drama continued from there.

Aneesa had placed a reservation for a small automatic car (since I can’t drive manual 😔) back in January, and after receiving an email confirmation and having the amount for the rental debited from her card, we naturally assumed our reservation was set. To our shock, the rep at the office said there was no sign of the reservation on their end. When we tried to rationalize with her (big mistake), we were fuming, mostly due to the fact that she tried to turn the blame on us when it was in fact her company at fault for not managing our reservation properly. I mean, the fact that the office didn’t even have a telephone was a huge red flag.

Even though the car rental company was clearly at fault, they did not offer a discount or anything to help remediate the situation. Instead, we had to pay in full for an automatic car that was higher than budgeted for, and top it off with a $1,600 hold in case of damages 😒. Honestly by that point, we were relieved to have a working vehicle and were dying to put an end to the incessant drama.

We were almost two hours delayed in picking up our friends Renata and Pam. Despite Belgrade rush hour traffic and feeling frazzled, our four-person girl group managed to make it out of the city alive and well. Once I was away from the narrow streets of the city and onto wide freeway roads, I also felt more relaxed as the “designated driver” of the group 😉.

This sunset stop on the way to Tara was much needed

After about three hours of driving, we made it to Tara National Park grounds and stayed at the Garni Hotel Vila Drina for the night. Our accommodations were cozy, and we made it just in time to have a decent dinner (and rakia!) as well.

Accommodation at Garni Hotel Vila Drina
Renata and I *not* particularly enjoying our plum rakia. It is the collective term for fruit spirits and is popular across the Balkans.

Despite feeling rattled from the days events, I was able to rest and recuperate and was looking forward to a better weekend after a rough start! For context, our reference point for Western Serbia:

We were actually very close to the Bosnian border!

🧳 Day 2

I woke up a little bit earlier than the other girls to of course get a run in. Somehow, I was determined to get a speed workout in, even though my “race course” would be limited to mini loops through scattered houses, and running up and down the singular main road that cut through the neighborhood we were staying at.

According to Google, we were technically in the small town of Bajina Bašta, and it was definitely giving those small town mountain vibes…

It was also at this time that I realized Serbia really loves their four-legged friends! A tiny, black mountain pup decided to join me for some of my intervals 😄.

Later that morning, another dog helped us find a gorgeous viewpoint at Splavar Cave.

Serbia loves their canines, and I’m all for it.

After getting our initial fill of small town Western Serbia and never-ending waterfalls, we set forth to our next destination—Zelenika Viewpoint. I found the seating areas to be extremely cute, and most definitely designed for photogenic captures.

About an hour later, we arrived safely at the parking point for Zaovine Lake. As our group’s driver, my mind was in hyper-focus mode, making sure each turn I made up a continuous steep incline was not too fast, and hoping any cars going in the opposite direction were hypervigilant in this regard as well. I quickly realized that Serbian drivers have no chill 😬.

The drive up was 100% worth it though, and we got some of our best group pics at this point.

Lunch consisted of road trip snacks as we made our way to Drvengrad, which I can only describe as eccentric with a pinch of cute. Serbia.com describes it as ‘located on Mećavnik hill in Mokra Gora nature park, the meeting point of two beautiful Serbian mountains Tara and Zlatibor, ethno village “Drvengrad” is a product of film director Emir Kusturica’s imagination, and was built for the production of his film “Life is a miracle”.

Overall, it was a unique and picturesque place to walk around at, but we all agreed that it was not necessarily a “must-see” destination. The consistent swarm of obnoxious school-children also didn’t help uplift our spirits, LOL. For me, the tight parking situation was a source of anxiety. To be fair, driving an automatic Opel that was on the larger side compared to the average Serbian’s car made me feel some level of anxiety throughout the entire trip, but I was grateful for the experience, as it has added to my driving confidence in foreign countries (the first time I drove in Europe was in Portugal last year, and that had its fair share of drama too).

See? A quirky place!

Our final stop for the day was our accommodation at El Paso City, another quirky find that also probably shouldn’t be your major motivator for exploring West Serbia. If it’s along the way however, you will not regret staying here for a night 😉.

It had a balanced blend of Wild West inspiration, Texas admiration, and cultural appropriation 😬:

And of course, host dogs—Mishkov was the fluffy white boy who scarfed down scraps of meat no one wanted, haha.

Fluffy boy Mishkov

🧳 Day 3

Due to the weather, and that running on the only road which was practically a freeway without sidewalks or guardrails would be dangerous, my morning run was a slow, continuous loop around a “bull-riding” machine and ax throwing stalls. Mishkov gave me company for a while, and soon after some of the staff came by to set-up the stalls for the day. I also happened to spot a peacock.

I said this place was quirky.

Breakfast was quirky too—onion rings and a mozzarella stick without a proper cheese filling to go alongside three sunny side eggs, followed by cherry pie. I’m not complaining though! The best part was ordering “domestic coffee” which gave me the option to choose betweeen Greek or Turkish coffee. My cup of Turkish coffee was perfection, and made all the more so with a Turkish Delight on the side. My only regret is not having this be my coffee order every day of my trip!

No ketchup, but yes to the mayo

Our final stop before heading back was Gostilje Waterfalls, which was a naturally calming and picturesque location, but high caution is needed getting here. You won’t believe how many times Google Maps tried to get us to off-road, and how many times I worried about a surprise car swooping around the corner on that all-to-common one-lane road shared by both directions 😬.

But the destination was stunning as well as soothing, no doubt about that. Aneesa also shared her thoughts on this gem of nature on her blog, as well as details for English-speaking readers on how to get there.

The drive back to Belgrade was pretty smooth once we reached “civilization” aka the “Milos the Great” motorway. Driving in Belgrade was another story. Sunday traffic mixed with incompetent drivers (I suppose it is a condition that spans nationalities…) made our final portion of the drive through the city longer than expected and restless for food, but a quick stop at Metro was a worthy distraction.

I can only describe Metro as the Serbian baby of IKEA and Costco. Picture that, and you’ve got it. Aneesa was able to grab some things that smaller grocery stores in her area didn’t have, while I stocked up on a decent amount of sweets and snacks to take home.

THIS did not make the cut—too creepy!

🧳 Day 4

Part of me was happy to “check off” the more “adventurous” part of my trip early on, as I expected that would be when I would have the most energy. I made the mistake of going out later for my run, as it was already pretty hot by 8:30am, and I had to deal with passing by a group of fat men smoking their lungs away on cigarettes, one of whom ran alongside me in mimicry for a few seconds to get a laugh out of his buddies. I’m relieved it wasn’t more serious, but it was yet another reminder that women around the world still have to fight for their right to run in peace, in yes, 2024…

Dropping off the rental car was another ordeal, but once I finally convinced the staff at Avis that the car was indeed full of gasoline and that the attendant at the second gas station I went to gave me the weirdest look when I tried to get him to fill up a car that was already full, things got better.

When Aneesa got home from work, we began our descent into the city and had fun exploring some of the major sights of Belgrade:

Monument to Stefan Nemanja

Hotel Moskva

Belgrade Fortress/ Kalemegdan

Within a matter of four hours, we experienced the whole spectrum of the weather system—extreme heat, tornado-like winds, intimidating black-grey rain clouds—who knew Belgrade was literally The Weather Channel??

Despite the bipolar weather conditions, we ate well in-between our stops. Turns out that Belgrade just so happens to be a hot spot for vegetarian Sri Lankan food?!

Sri Lankan food made vegetarian from Curry Souls

And topping it off with a sweet note from Russia was the best way to round it out!

Aneesa and I shared a plate of Syrniki, a Russian delicacy which consists of small sweet pancakes stuffed with quark, topped with condensed milk, white chocolate, and blueberries

🧳 Day 5

My second-to-last day was all about rest. After sleeping in for a bit and *skipping* my run, I thought I would venture out for another Turkish coffee, and maybe even find a local nail salon to get my nails done.

In reality, these plans turned out to be spending time at a local bar sipping on a cappuccino, not finding a nail salon despite attempting three locations, and quickly heading back to home base to enjoy a leisurely lunch with Chai (🐱).

Later in the afternoon, I joined Aneesa for a yoga class, during which I was “reprimanded” by the instructor for not be as flexible as I should be 😬. Of course, she expressed her concerns in a thoughtful way, and I told her I knew—there’s only so many hours in a day, and when it comes to exercise, it’s running or death (lol!). Still, I know it’s important to keep those muscles loose and limber, and this class was a nice (Serbian) reminder of that.

To end the day, I stopped at Maxi (another local grocery store chain) for snacks to take home, a new-to-me ice cream, and to (attempt to) pet street cats.

It was minimalistic, but I believe every vacation needs one of these days sprinkled in!

🧳 Day 6

And finally, it was the day of lasts.

My last run through Hajd Park. My last Serbian coffee (just another cappuccino though…). My last ride on bus 44…it was almost my last chance to pick up gifts!

On the way into town, I got into a conversation with a woman who was originally from Macedonia, but who did a foreign exchange stint as a teenager in the early 90s in Oklahoma of all places! When I shared my ties to the state, as well as Texas, she was gleefully sharing her teenage memories of visits to Dallas and San Antonio. Of course the Yugoslavia crisis at the time upended her eventual plans, but she seemed content to now be a denizen of Belgrade, on her way to the city center in search of Nikes for her demanding Gen Z teenage daughter 😅.

I on the other hand popped into Beogradski izlog (Belgrade Window) for a few gifts for friends and family. I learned during my trip that a lot of items sold in the Balkans are made in the Balkans. I was happy to see “Made in Serbia” printed on tags or cardboard boxes of many items I came upon during my trip.

It was also my last afternoon with Aneesa, and the first part of it was spent making custom lipsticks at Lipstick Lab. It was definitely a new-to-me experience, despite our hostess thinking that as an American, I should have participated in a number of make-up themed workshops…she didn’t know that she was talking to one of the few women in the world who sees make-up as the bane of her existence 😉.

Lipstick Lab, Belgrade, Serbia

That doesn’t mean this lipstick will go to waste however! I don’t mind wearing make-up depending on the occasion, so I see my custom stick lasting a long while, especially since I know that it is free of additives and chemicals that often sneak into US products. Gotta love Europe, lol.

After our workshop, we headed over to Pam’s place since she had bags of coffee to give away—I happily volunteered to take them off her hands!

She also gifted me these adorable pins from a Serbian artist

And finally, we ended the day with dinner at Prana, where I ordered a colorful tofu poke bowl and sipped on one of the best (peach) kombuchas I’ve ever tasted.

Technically, we ended the night with custard buns, coconut bunnies, and pastel de natas from a local Chinese restaurant—needless to say, I had a substantial end-of-trip meal!

🧳 Departure

And after one full and vibrant week, my trip was over. Aneesa helped me to reserve a cab at the crazy time of 3:45am, since my flight out of Belgrade was at 6:00am! A quick transfer in Amsterdam and I was home 10.5 hours later.

In the hours and days that followed, the happiness I felt all week began to dissipate as reality set in. My body was readjusting its circadian rhythm, which didn’t help as I slowly replied to work emails I had flagged for a time only relevant to Pree in the future.

I can honestly say this is the first trip in a long time that I felt at peace, happy with my surroundings, and blessed to have experienced a road trip adventure with three amazing ladies. I’m still in awe about all the events that took place for all of this to even happen. I strongly believe social media has terrorized our society, but it has also given me the opportunity to meet like-minded individuals from all across the globe. Being a former expat has also helped me to not feel shy to reach out and forge connections with other expat women in the same boat.

The most amazing Serbia girl crew 😆

I also mentioned to Aneesa when I left that she’s the best type of person to travel with. I’m also inspired by her travels and how she’s able to explore places most people (especially in the Western world) fear setting foot in. There are so many more places in the world I need to explore, and knowing that other women have been successful makes me feel empowered and less inhibited.  

So, even though Serbia is not Siberia, making this trip has opened so many doors to new adventures. After a fulfilling, nourishing, and fun-fiilled trip to Serbia…Siberia, among a plethora of other exotic locales I never paid much attention to until now, is most certainly on the table 😉.  

Are you familiar with the Balkans and Serbia?

Freedom in Freiburg: Escaping the Prison of Milan

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I recently made a trip to Freiburg, Germany, and boy, was it a few days of reprieve from the onslaught of life in Milan (I came back from the US a little over two weeks ago, and Milan didn’t wait a second to put me in a chronically awful mood…).

Even if I didn’t choose Germany as my expat destination, I certainly have more respect for it than Italy 😅.

Looking back at this grand Black Forest during my 14 miler.

When I was actively putting an effort into Italian, I came across an interesting “quirk”: when trying to translate a phrase from English to Italian in my mind, I would often first think of the phrase in German.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how to say “How much does that cost?” in Italian, but “Wie viel kostet das?” hit my brain at lightening speed. When I shared this phenomenon with others, no one seemed to relate.

Perhaps this is only an issue only receptively bilingual folks can relate to—those who have become familiar with multiple languages passively, but are not 100 percent fluent in any of them except their native language (aka, me).

When it comes to Germany, my brain loves the order. The order in the grammar of the language, clear-cut rules (even if they’re a pain, you know what to expect), and a sense of practicality.

Freiburg city center

This is what drew me to the language in high school, along with the fact that it was a unique offering for language class. Most high schools offered Spanish, maybe French, but German was definitely a not so common offering.

Not to mention, my teacher was an exuberant second gen Chinese American who was probabaly more in love with Germany than any blonde-haired, blue-eyed man straight out of the Black Forest 😅.

German was my favorite class in high school because it brought relaxation after tense periods of AP science and calculus classes (the latter gave my digestive problems, no joke). I was Herr L’s star student (of course, my type A personality wouldn’t have it any other way) and I was known as Inge in his class (we had to pick German names for class, and I actually picked Inge because it sounded like a word in Tamil! 😁).

Calm, rainy Saturday morning in Freiburg

After high school, I tried to continue German in college, but my type A personality was scared to fail. After getting a C+ on my first assignment (an essay), I panicked. I dropped the course because I wanted to focus on making sure I didn’t fail my “more important classes” that would get me into med school 🙄.

My life went a different direction eventually, and obviously 😅. I chose Italy with intention, in that the next step was professional, but not only that…

I didn’t go to Italy for a boy like many other American girls, but I can’t deny the fact I wanted a piece of that Italian romance too! To be honest, I don’t think I would have taken that risk in finding love anywhere else…especially Germany 😂!

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All of this is to say German and I go way back, and my weekend in Freiburg definitely brought me much-needed peace.

On my way to Freiburg, I felt exhausted and perturbed. The exciting event I was referring to in my last post was indeed a job interview for my dream role (well, technically I’d like to write a NYT bestseller and live off the book’s income, but ya know, plan B 🙄…), and although I did well, I was passed on for an internal candidate.

The news hit me HARD and I was left in a funk for several days. Being in Milan didn’t help either…I knew I’d have to get back to my job search grind, and the unknown of that gives me anxiety every single freaking day 😔.

So this was on my mind as I sat aboard my first Flixbus (comparable to Megabus in America!). When I got to Freiburg a little over six hours later, I was still in a sour mood, but the quiet walk over to the hotel eventually softened me up.

I mean, there was a Dean & David (German fast casual chain with vegetarian and vegan options!!) next to the amazing Super 8 hotel I was staying at. I fueled with a halloumi salad and fruit and nut brownie before checking into this spectacular room:

Maybe it’s because I don’t like my life right now, but this hotel room got me feeling all sorts of emotional. Being able to leave Milan, even if just for two days, felt like I was able to escape a year-long stay in prison.

Taking multiple hot showers. Not having to worry about keeping the gas off to save on heating. Two comfy beds (lol, just cause I guess?).

Meeting my friend for dinner later was also such an uplifting moment. I felt incredibly relaxed, and so grateful we were able to meet up despite our crazy schedules. Good company truly does make life’s stresses feel a lot less daunting…

At peace in Freiburg

The next morning was wonderful as well. I slept in, had an amazing pancake breakfast, and walked around in the old town square, reveling in Freiburg’s humble cuteness.

I woke up happy that morning. I could feel it in my bones and my voice, and there had to be a reason for it.

That afternoon, I walked into a local store (Kaufland) and stocked up on vegan snacks and unique Pringles flavors not offered in Italy. Cheese and Onion, these Italians are missing out…

I prepped myself for a long run, and used it as an excuse to climb up to the Schloßberg and treat myself to incredible panoramic views of the city, as well as trail into the Black Forest. After a rewarding 14 miles with steep incline, I treated myself to dinner at Dean & David: vegan green curry and a golden milk latte.

My short stay in Freiburg was perfect, because it fed my soul without me expecting it to.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Living in Milan has forced me to compromise and expect less than what I deserve, which is why I think it depresses me while other places restore me.

Despite what other expats in Italy say, things are not good here. That’s the truth. The cost of living is high, and the salaries are abysmally low, even for a post-doctorate like myself. People often tell me “I’m rich compared to others in Italy“, which is a frightening thing to hear…it means most Italians are living right above or close to poverty level when compared to American standards 😧. People also tell me that “well, you can leave whenever you want“, though it’s not that simple.

I need an exit plan. A parachute. A road map.

Yes, I’m tired of living like a nomad. I’m proud of the fact I am capable of being a minimalist, but I’d love to establish roots and live the life I truly deserve. Striving for that when your current situation numbs you is one of the hardest challenges I’ve had to face.

But then those challenges seem to instantly disappear when I am in the right environment…

I wish I could end this post on a more positive note, but reality sometimes prevents glimmers of hope from poking through. Freiburg was a blessing, a promise that I am capable of happiness. My recent, multiple trips to Houston and Austin too. The universe is asking me to be patient and brave. I hope I can continue to do so, and that the light at the end of the tunnel is near.

Cagliari Reflections: I Really Don’t Want to be Alone

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Moving to Italy a little over two years ago has changed me as a person, immensely. It’s brought out sides of me I never knew needed to be unleashed, but they had reason to:

Tough Boss Pree“, who has no trouble throwing around the “f word” (to my Dad’s dismay, lol), was someone I had to embrace in order to feel some sort of control in a foreign land I otherwise had no voice in.

Vulnerable Pree” is someone I can’t help but want to give a big bear hug to. Learning and practicing to love unconditionally (self and others) truly is a skill that needs to be nurtured and taken care of. It’s frightening because it’s like exposing your soul, but it is something everyone should find the courage to do because the payoff can be beautiful.

Extrovert in an Introvert’s Body Pree” is someone I’m proud to have discovered here. I’ve taken initiative so many times in the name of trying to establish connections and friendships. Professionally, I have no problem (in English) effectively communicating. Ha, there’s a reason “communication” is in my job title! It’s definitely daunting to put feelers out all the time and not have every attempt be successful—for every 20 girls I’ve met in Italy, I only happen to meet two on a “frequent” basis, and even that takes work!

These three personas of mine existed before Italy, but now I feel like they are pretty much what characterize my identity at this point.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Even though I’ve done the solo travel bit and I’m no longer a fan, I decided to head down to the South of Italy for a change of scenery while remote working. I planned the trip two weeks in advance, and found a good plane ticket deal along with a place to stay (a room plus private bathroom) that was also reasonable in price (87 euros for 3 nights…not bad!).

When I told people of my plans, alot were curious as to why Cagliari? Why the capital city of Sardegna in the month of October? Why were you not like everyone else spending three weeks roasting like a chicken on the shores of Poetto Beach in August?

Because I’m Pree, and I do things my way—that’s essentially what solo travel is at the root of it.

Thursday was a travel day in the morning, and both Thursday and Friday were remote working days. Friday morning, I was able to venture out for a morning run with views by the water.

I went out to the city center for lunch, dinner, and ice cream (lol) but was overwhelmed/tired by work during the day, so I retreated back to my lodging to rest up early both nights.

I was also feeling a bit down about being alone, and the thought of planning things for the next day seemed daunting… still, I made a list of things to distract myself with, including figuring out where to eat. Even though I’ve had a troubled past with food, it’s often been my default item to go to for comfort—seeking out a cool restaurant with unique vegetarian or vegan-friendly options. Delicious desserts. Writing about it after…

Calories have always been my tried-and-true companions…

*Side note – I’m active on Yelp, and reviewed all of my Cagliari eats there. Follow me there if you are a food+pics kind of person too 😂

I did however *try* to find an alternate distraction via a walking tour. Ultimately I’m glad I did, because the vibe of my trip turned around when I met a new friend on said walking tour.

On Saturday, I slept in a bit and then took the bus down to get breakfast (Bus No. 8 and I got very familiar with eachother over the few days I was in Cagliari, lol). Even though I ran a 6 miler the day before, my body craved “slow” cardio so I skipped my normal morning run. I did however plan to attend a walking tour, secretly hoping I’d meet a new pal to help me distract myself more in Cagliari.

Before making my way to the tour’s meeting point, I stopped at Necropoli di Tuvixeddu , a park of ancient tombs. It was quite underwhelming on a Saturday morning, but nevertheless I tried to snap a couple pics:

I eventually made my way to the walking tour meeting point, atop a hill in Old Town Cagliari. My tour guide was a local, and I was soon joined by an elderly white couple on a cruise layover (lol typical!).

Thankfully for me though, I ended up meeting another girl solo traveling, from Milan! We got to talking and she actually works close to where I live. My goal was now to confirm plans with her for the rest of the day, rather than pay attention to the tour 😂! I was determined to redeem myself from the ennui that was building up from the trip thus far by making a new friend.

By the end of the tour, the both of us ended up getting lunch at one of the most famous bistros in Cagliari (Libarum Nostrum) but they callously placed us out in the direct sunlight. I also didn’t want to pay too much for lunch, so I got a plate of spaghetti which… actually wasn’t that bad?

We were both pretty tired after lunch, so we agreed to retreat back to our respective Airbnbs, charge our electronics, and meet up at Poetto Beach in a few hours. I headed out at 5:30pm, and took the bus down to the center as usual. However, the next bus was bit confusing to figure out.

I eventually figured out where the bus stop was (after pushing myself through a group of crazy kids!) and headed down to Poetto. It was a beautiful drive with the sun setting, but that was it…the sun was setting!

Silly me packed a towel thinking we’d be able to sit out on the sand and enjoy the waves. By the time I got down, it was already twilight.

Poetto Beach at Sunset

It was still gorgeous though.

My new friend eventually came down and we both realized our beach plans no longer made sense 🤦‍♀️. We instead walked for a bit, and then found the closest bus stop to get back to the center.

I could have made it a priority to make it to the beach “on-time”, but I was content spending the cool-weathered evening walking with a friend vs. hours of alone time on the beach during the day…

For dinner, we thought back to what our walking tour guide recommended and remembered Taccas because of the Sardinian specialty they offered—deep fried pecorino cheese topped with honey. We were sold.

The city center is always packed in the evenings, but we got food within a decent time frame and were able to head back to our respective Airbnbs around 10pm via bus (seriously, you don’t need a car for Cagliari—you can survive with handy-dandy bus numbah 8 😂!).

I left for Milan the next morning, and got back in the early afternoon. I didn’t expect to find another solo traveler on my walking tour, especially since my previous solo trips did not prove successful in the arena of friendship (lol), but low expectations met with pleasant surprises helped turned this trip around.

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This trip was also planned on a whim, to serve as a distraction from life events that left me raw in early October. Ultimately what made this trip “redeemable” was hanging out with another person. It’s crazy how “extroverted” I’ve become in recent months, and I still am not sure if it is a natural transition, or a mechanism my brain has adopted to avoid feeling alone and lonely…

…because being an expat is lonely. And definitely scary. I’ve learned you can’t put all your “eggs in one basket” so to speak, and while planning does help my (still) type-A personality, anxiety does set in that I just can’t shake away—especially if I find myself in an isolated moment in a foreign land that does everything in its power to not make me feel at home.

I still encourage everyone to experience solo travel in their lives. Being alone shouldn’t be scary, but I have spent a lot of my life doing things alone. It’s now become something I dread thinking about, but sometimes it is more convenient to just get out, go, and get it done.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone or alone time, I’m just at a point in my life where more of it terrifies me. The thought of choosing to be alone and not have anyone care or think about you, or want to be with you…I think that is what has made it feel so crippling to me as I’ve gotten older.

Nowadays, the warmth and presence of other souls restores my energy, as much as being alone used to do for me…

Cagliari was nice, but I know I am happiest every time I’m visiting my Dad in suburb Texas. My sister in good ol’ Austin. My bestie in Vegas. Falling asleep on the couch with a special someone while Netflix is playing for hours all weekend.

I’d rather my life be full of people over places. Anything to avoid the heart-wrenching pull of being alone.

Remembering Malmö and Copenhagen

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Before the COVID crisis took over, I took the privilege of travel for granted. Looking back, I was lucky to have opportunites to travel both domestically (within the US) and internationally, solo or with family.

Since moving to Italy, I have yet to go beyond Lombardia’s borders. Even within Lombardia, I’ve only really “visited” Milan and Como.

And coming from LA, it didn’t take too long to master these cities 😉

As much as my solo trip to Sweden in the summer of 2019 was indeed lonely, I am still awestruck by the fact that I completed a 10-day trip-for-one, despite the many moments of ennui I experienced.

My trip started in Stockholm, followed by stops in Gothenburg, Malmo, and Copenhagen. Although the latter of the cities is technically in Denmark, it happened to be my most favorite part of the trip.

I documented my Swedish & Copenhagen adventures on a former blog before I decided to close it down for Second Gen Desi. But with COVID still around and with it still influencing our current travel policies, I decided to dig through my archives and find my old travel posts so that I could try to relive the memories.

Since I was unable to copy over the text, we’ll have to settle for these screenshots, and you’ll have to forgive me for the small, poor photo quality 😅.

Still, I’m glad I took the time to type out a recap of my trip, even if it was three months after I returned 😅😅.

Hard to believe there was a time of crowds and flurry at the peak of summer. I can only imagine what Italy was like in the summer of 2019, and I wonder if we can ever get back to that type of traveling lifestyle ever again…

As for Sweden, I don’t have much of a desire to return for leisure, but I have heard amazing things about Norway and Finland…but to be honest, I’d be happy just to make it out of Lombardia for my travel plans this year 😉

A (Half) Day in Como

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After almost a month in Milan, I was itching to explore. Quarantine-ing for two weeks made me feel restless, and starting work soon after made me feel a bit overwhelmed, but I went into this experience telling myself these things –

A) Don’t feel pressure to go out “exploring” every single weekend if you don’t feel like it. Italy and surrounding countries will still be there, and you’ll get to them eventually.

B) Weekends are yours and yours only. Work is always going to have its demands, but keep it at work. Do your best and give it your all during the week, but the weekend is there to relax, recharge, and rest. Those PhD weekends working on quantifying images from microscopy even with Netflix in the background were not exactly “fun”, admit it 😂!

Despite starting my new job at a time when people were planning their grand vacations for Ferragosto, I didn’t feel comfortable asking for time off within a week of starting. Looking back, it would have been nice to plan a more leisurely, longer stay in a city outside of the Lombardy region, but I felt most comfortable staying local and going out on weekends when I could.

When my labmates inquured what I would be doing in my next “free weekend from quarantine”, I turned the question on them and asked where they would recommend I travel. One of them immediately spit out “Como!”, and I thought why not?

It sounded beautiful, wasn’t too far by train, and was near one of the supposedly most beautiful lakes in the country. The word for lake in Italian, lago, even sounds more regal than just plain ol’ “lake‘.

When I think of ‘lake’, I think of this stagnant body of water (Folsom Lake, CA, 2005)

I started my half-day “adventure” with a lazy wake-up call (8am for me, lol) and proceeded to take the green line to the closest transfer point for inter-regional trains.

I ended up getting off at Sesto San Giovanni station and made sure to get myself a take-away cappuccino before boarding my train.

I also had my mask!

From there, it was about a 1 hour train ride to Como Lago station, one of the most beautiful train stops I’d ever seen—perhaps it was the summer flora that did the trick:

Como Lago Station

From there, I followed the crowd of passengers from my train towards the city center…since I made the mistake of not downloading Google Maps for the area (I didn’t have data yet because I still had my US number…had to wait at least one more week before getting my Italian one 😂).

As I walked on through, I realized this was the beauty people talked about when they referred to Italy.

The narrow roads, the faded, but beautiful-in-its-own-right architecture. It made sense to take pictures here.

Once I got to the center, I wasn’t sure what to do first—eat? Wasn’t too hungry yet. Shop? Didn’t feel like it. Walk some more?

I opted for walking, and felt the need to inch away from the crowds. Even during pre-COVID times, I tried to keep a distance from crowds 😂.

I ended up walking up an incline into what seemed to be a private neighborhood. It was a long, winding road, and I could definitely see it being used by the locals for their daily cardio.

I love seeing funky buildings like these and wondering what it would be like to live on the top floor.

Bikers passed by me, as well as cars and their annoying honks, as I made my way up. I didn’t want to walk too far without knowing where I was headed, so I made the wise choice to walk back down and orient myself towards the lake instead.

Before turning back however, I had to document the fact that yes, I had stumbled upon something beautiful.

As I made my way back down, it looked as if the crowds had doubled. Orienting myself so the lake was in front and the city center was to the back of me, I decided to walk north starting from the right side of the lake.

I realized about 20 min in that the “better” side of the lake was the left one—after seeing what all was there from my current viewpoint.

As I got further away from the center (and the crowds, again) I was starting to feel hungry and agitated. There were scattered groups of teenagers chatting animatedly and elderly folk walking hand-in-hand, but I soon found an isolated place to rest for a bit.

My walk back to the center was slower in pace, but at least I was ready to eat something. I ventured back to where the shops were, and found a cute bakery:

Ripamonti Bakery

I wanted to use the opportunity to practice my Italian, but two things happened: 1) I happened to be in line right after a pushy Englishman who put no effort whatsoever to speak un po’ italiano. He demanded still water and extra forks. I was embarrassed for him, but mostly irritated by his behavior since the ladies behind the counter assumed I was a tourist who only chose to speak English as well, and 2) I pronounced olive wrong (I should have said “oh-lee-vuh”).

At least I had my (unpictured) foccacia olive alongside some gorgeous views.

After my lunch, I headed towards the left of the lake and the most exciting:

I didn’t care to hop onto a boat or go on a fancy lake tour—-taking my time by foot and soaking in the views on my own was enough for me.

Since it was a day in mid-July, the weather was starting to get unbearable. I had to take another break, but at least it was at an adorable stopping point.

For me, 4 hours was enough, especially going solo. Before leaving back to the station, I got myself a cup of mint gelato. I admired the front of the station before hopping back on the next train to Milan.

Little did I know that I’d be back very soon.

Since that first day in Como, things have taken wild turns on all accounts. Things that I never would have expected, but made me rethink what my priorities were for the time being in regards to travel.

View from the dock

I knew for sure that I wanted to try new activities, have novel experiences, and meet amazing people, so in that sense, I may have sacrificed the chance to explore more of Italy earlier in my journey. I’ve stayed “close to home” for the past (almost) six months in Italy out of choice due to work demands, my personal energy levels, and as already stated my new priorities, but I don’t regret this at all.

My (half) day in Como has led me to where I am right now.

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