second gen desi blog – Page 3 – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

Reading Time: 6 minutes

…is a classic blog prompt from the 2010s, the golden era of blogging 😁! The way these posts go is the blogger brings up items from their life that have happened since their last post. Usually these posts appear when a blogger has been absent for a while and they want to catch their readers up in a summary form.

This—along with the many surveys that circulated in the blogging community—is one of my favorite prompts when I feel like catching up in a casual way.

So, get yourself some coffee (or tea or water? That’s good too, haha) to pair with this read 😊.

☕ If we were having coffee…

…I’d still talk your ear off about the headshake moments of life in Italy! Recently, I criticized the long-standing “tradition” of I’m-diasppearing-for-the-month-of-August-kthanksbye, and the past few weeks brought along a few more eye rolls:

⭐The Italian government has officially declared that we are no longer in a “COVID emergency” (whatever that means at this point), and so companies are now left to decide whether or not to continue with remote working (otherwise known as “smartworking”, lol).

The company I work for implemented a really great hybrid mode (2 days remote, 3 days in the office), but suspended it the beginning of September until they prepare an “official smartworking contract”. I don’t see why we have to pause such a good thing, but at least we are not pushing the brakes, as the majority is in favor of continuing hybrid work. It’s only a matter of time…can you even say you’re in Italy if you’re not forced to wait for something?

⭐The annoying thing about this though is that we still have to wear masks in the office, but literally nowhere else in Italy except medical centers (vestigial rules I’m not sure will ever go away) require it. Yo, I thought you said the “emergency” was over? Make it make sense…

⭐I also recently accompanied my boyfriend to a local race track so he could race his car and geek out over car things (lol). That was an interesting experience in itself, and I took the opportunity to “lament” on Yelp:

One of my many candid reviews on Yelp about things in Italy

Let’s just say you can take the truck out of Texas, but Italians can never replace Texans 🤣.

If you use Yelp, check out my other uncanny, unfiltered reviews!

☕ If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you that social media continues to be sucky. Anytime someone forwards me an “expat in…” video or “American in…” post, I roll my eyes so hard they almost pop out! When I was on Instagram, I used to mutually follow some mild-mannered, practical women who shared pragmatic content about life in Italy, but it’s crazy how luck and “starting out at the right time” can make a random person skyrocket in fame and “influence”.

⭐It makes me upset when I see people who amass huge followings out of pure luck “hijack” the stories and experiences of others with a smaller following, even though these “smaller” accounts have useful content and stories to share.

They’re just not busting out videos everyday 🙄.

⭐For example, someone “goes viral on TikTok” because they have a quirky audio or make a series of videos that “are just too funny”. It’s probably cliché, but they get lucky and the followers pour in. They build a huge following from that, and then are able to talk about anything they want and get engagement because now they have an audience. This is “the system” in play, and it really is unfair. And if we were having coffee, I’d be calling it out in more detail, big time.

☕ If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you work has been super busy lately! I got assigned projects that could lead me to San Francisco (‼) for a showcase at the end of October! A lot of steps have to be put in place first (out of my control and at company level), but I’m really hoping that it works out because even though flying out to the West Coast is a nightmare on the legs, any excuse to travel back home is worth it.

Making long slide decks is literally part of the job lol

⭐I do know I will be back in Vegas (for the third time this year, lol) for an exhibition, and I am way too excited for that than I should be 😂.

⭐I’ve also enrolled in some free NIH clinical research courses and I try to post about clinical trials when I can. I know I said I don’t do Instagram anymore, but this account is explicitly for science education outreach. I have been feeling less motivated to be consistent with it lately though, because I know our society as a whole still has a long way to go before science is seen as something worth seeking out and interesting vs. something to fear and hate, unfortunately…

☕ If we were having coffee…

… I’d tell you my running has been going great! My coach out of Houston is awesome and I love the workouts he has me do. I always get nervous on interval days, but then when I crush my HARD pace, I feel amazing. I’m hoping to PR in Monza this October (in the half) and then of course at the marathon in Houston in January.

⭐The running group I organized has been going alright, even though I’ve only met 3 girls through it. It’s better than nothing though, and every time I run with them it’s a lot of fun.

When I do my solo runs, I always stop for cats if I’m not in the middle of a speed interval. If I am, I finish said interval and then walk back to the cat.

And yes, I listen to some hardcore hip hop when I do speed workouts 😅. It’s what gets me to a speedy 7:00min/mi pace so, it works!

☕ If we were having coffee…

…I’d tell you I just cannot avoid living in a city where the rent is just atrocious. First it was LA, and now Milan has caught up to match in ridiculousness. When I was in Milan 2020-2021, the rent was decent. Now it’s gotten so bad because there just aren’t that many vacancies (and ok, blame the geopolitical situation if you want, but I feel businesses often use that as an excuse way too much, like COVID).

⭐So, I’ll be little miss commuter again when I move to Monza next month. It definitely won’t be crazy like my two-hour one-way treks from Anaheim to LA, but it will be somewhat of a pain if we don’t get our remote working situation sorted!

⭐And then you see stories pop up like this and think, yup, we’re LA status now 😬.

☕ If we were having coffee…

…I’d reveal that things have felt stagnant creatively for me lately. When it comes to my ongoing writing projects, I have days where I pop out a really great piece/excerpt within an hour. And other days where I have major writer’s block and feel “forced” to write.

⭐It’s the shared experience of most writers, but I’ve also had the urge to start other creative projects. I think one can fuel the other if they’re both positive experiences. Instagram was supposed to be such an outlet, but because it caused more harm than good, that tie had to be severed.

⭐I’m really excited about this particular venture since I’ll be collaborating with my best friend. We have no clue how it will go, but I think it’s a project that utilizes a platform that is favorable to people who love words and stories, vs. pictures and speedy content. I’ll of course share what this project is when the time comes (soon)!

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

I imagine you’ve reached the end of your cup, and I’ve about exasperated your attention span with all my venting and elaborating about events these past few weeks. And while a virtual cup can never replace the experience of a cup in-person, I hope you enjoyed our little coffee date!

What would you tell me if we were having coffee?

Reading Time: 5 minutes

I’m sure all of us have experienced post-vacation blues to some extent, but for me, I now see there is a consistent pattern for which trips I experience this phenomenon.

This pattern recognition came about after experiencing some not so memorable trips…

My solo trips to Sweden and Vancouver felt blasé. They were safe and something I can pat myself on the back for doing “on my own”, but I was relieved to get back home (at the time) to Orange County after BOTH of those trips…

My solo day trips around Italy last year—to Genoa, Venice, Florence, Bologna, and Verona were days I remember dragging myself around with ennui. I was walking everywhere, taking pictures where I was supposed to, but I felt miserable, cranky, and angry, mostly because I was indeed homesick.

I left for my Geneva work trip excited, but with certain circumstances that popped up, I came back to Milan exhausted/happy it was over—I could go further to say that by May’s end, I had never been more excited about going back to Houston.

So, which trips made me feel sad when I returned home because I enjoyed them so much?

Every single trip I’ve made to India (I always came back severely exhausted and jetlagged since childhood, but it was always worth it).

When I saw my sister and best friend in Austin last summer after a (tough) year away in Italy. We spent a few days altogether, and I remember after driving back to my parents’ house, I couldn’t help but cry from the happiness I experienced/the emotional crash once I realized it was over.

The blessing of making multiple trips home this year to Houston for my Dad and Austin for my sis. Ha, even Las Vegas, the home of my best friend, made its way in here!

The common denominator was not the places I visited or the attractions I saw.

It was the people. It was family—both by blood and chosen.

And my recent trip to the UK was no exception. It was a last-minute trip planned for only a weekend (a mere “drop in the water” compared to the “cannonball” vacations Italians are taking at the moment…), but because the experience was so rich, it felt like a month-long vacation!

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

On my former blog (Will Study for Food), I actually recapped the time five years ago when we reconnected with my cousin and her family in Wales. At the time, it was a reunion after 17 years! Compared to that decade-and-then-some, reuniting after five years this time around seemed like nothing. Even with COVID sandwiched in for two years, it felt like no time had passed since our last meeting.

Except when it comes to children, five years is an incredibly large chunk of time! My cousin’s daughters P and M were 14 and 8, respectively, when I met them all five years ago. Now, they pretty much transitioned into the next phase of life, while I went from 25 to 30 not feeling like much has changed for me.

P is old enough to make elaborate, home-cooked breakfasts now. I was IMPRESSED.

While I had a phenomenal time with my cousin and family at Newton Beach, thrifting in Bristol, and traversing through Birmingham, I thought I’d shift away from the standard “travel recap” and use this post to comment on something else.

My last morning in Cardiff, my cousin generously made us both coffee (like she did on all the days I visited, haha) but this time, she suggested we sip on our drinks out on the patio. With the babies trying to join in, it led to a really great conversation that I didn’t want to end.

But, I unfortunately had a flight to catch, and it included a stop at dreaded ORLY in Paris…

The fact is, I love these types of conversations. Even if they’re brief, they have the potential to dive deep. I’m the kind of person who will chat your ear off, but only if you have an interest to hear what I have to say. So, it often leads to people assuming I’m “quiet” when in fact, I just don’t want to bore you.

I’ve had similar “coffee and conversation” moments with other cousins and family members in the past, but sometimes I still held back. In those moments, I hesitated to bring up sensitive topics like my Mom and my eating disorder, because I wasn’t sure if I was emotionally ready enough to handle any type of reaction that could result.

As I’ve gotten older, I welcome these conversations. With each one that I have, it’s a bit easier to reveal the most of myself without feeling doubt or shame. Ha, I’m sure anyone who is curious about my life and is connected with me via WhatsApp has had a chance to peruse this blog (my profile pic has become an advert for it 😂, since I don’t do social media anymore). Even if it was just to be nosy, I hope the posts I’ve written—especially the vulnerable ones—got their point across…

Looking back at the short trip I made, I enjoyed the conversation of that serene Sunday morning the most out of all the things I did. It reminded me that it doesn’t matter where I am in the world, but as long as I am with people I love and enjoy being around (even better with a cup of coffee in hand), that is what a real vacation is.

Are you a “people person” often mistaken as a pure introvert? Leave a comment with your thoughts!

Reading Time: 7 minutes

Wow, I’m 30.

When it comes to “landmark birthdays”, I am the worst at planning them properly. Things are so much easier as a kid when your parents throw you a party every year at the local you-name-it and you get to invite a couple of classmates to join in for pizza and oh-so-decadent Wal-Mart bakery cake (with my expat experience, I have nothing but the utmost respect for this fine delicacy).

My favorite string of birthdays was 11-14, when we made our way to the local water parks for a day of splish-splash fun. The perks of being a summer baby—what happened to that love for water of mine?

Ahhh, summer 2006. Not my finest year in body confidence and adolescence, but the 2000s era is one of forever-nostalgia and holds a special place in my heart.

Once I moved out for grad school, birthday planning was all on me. Even though I moved out at 22, I still had my Dad or sister show up to help me celebrate prior to my turning a quarter of a century years old. My first birthday “on-my-own” was 25, and I “celebrated” it food blogger style—a restaurant in LA invited me and a guest for a free meal, and I took my lab bestie lol.

For my 26^th, I moved out to Anaheim with my sis and our bestie-since-childhood came over for the weekend from Vegas. My 27^th was the last before moving to Italy, and I “celebrated” with a lonely, underwhelming solo trip to Sweden.

My 28^th and 29^th were celebrated away from home and the loved ones I knew for all my life, but I still had a special someone to celebrate with. A low-key hike in Swiss Italy and an afternoon at an Italian zoo were still special days.

For my 30^th, my boyfriend treated me to a photo session by Lake Pusiano. It all started when I shared the Zimmerman dresses I spotted at the Wynn during my June trip to Vegas. He simply messaged me, “if you find a knock-off, it’ll go perfect with my plan”.

To which I replied, 🤔.

His plan was for me to wear a similar dress + get “made up” + take professional pics not too far from Lecco.

I wasn’t able to thrift the dress unfortunately due to time constraints, but it was cute imo!

Stumbled upon this at the mall. Unfortunately couldn’t thrift but it worked perfectly with the “plan”

The Sunday evening before my birthday, we drove to a small town near Lecco where the make-up artist lives and she got me ready. After about an hour in the chair, the three of us drove out to the lake for pics (my BF broke out his Canon from storage and went to town 😂) .

Despite leaving social media, I promise I know how to take pics! It’s just so incredibly awkward to do it in front of other people, unless you are in that “confident” mindset and have tons of energy.

I honestly have no clue how people have the gall to take selfies in public, without any doubt or shame!

Rather than confident, I mostly felt “cute” and the shyness took over, especially since the make-up artist accompanied us. But if this means I look “younger”, I’ll take it!

20 vs. 30 – Hard to do a perfect comparison but I feel like I look the same, haha! At 20, I came home after taking the MCAT (which I bombed…) and was still severely in my eating disorder. 10 years later and a whole lot more life experiences and lessons learned…

It was still a lot of fun, and I love the pictures. And unlike 9/10 girls out there, I don’t really have anywhere to post them but here, which is fine by me 😛.

Oh, I also baked a cake! Funfetti cake + strawberry frosting, straight outta H.E.B. in Texas!

PSA – if anyone from the USA is visiting me in Italy, entry fee is one box of cake mix and a tub of frosting 🤣.

Funfetti cake mix and strawb frosting. Had to use olive oil instead of vegetable oil which was exciting.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Turning another year older and entering the next decade also got me thinking about other things. I like planning ahead, but the farthest I can go out nowadays without feeling anxious is 1 year. When I was in school, I had no issue with 4 -or 5- year plans because that’s how long it would take to finish my degrees anyways.

But now, putting that much pressure on yourself to achieve X number of things in X number of years seems like unnecessary stress. Of course I want to work towards a life of financial security, healthiness, and happiness, but planning each and every single step is no longer “vision boards and jelly-pens-and-journals” fun.

For now, I’m good with reflecting on what I was able to accomplish in the decade I just completed, and what I hope to achieve in my thirties. 20-for-20 and 30-for-30-esque lists can be a bore for some, so don’t feel compelled to read—although, I welcome any comments, especially if we share anything in common!

20 Things I Rocked @ In My Twenties

Got my PhD.
Kicked my eating disorder in the butt!
Became a public transit wonder (no fear, your metro girl is here).
Traveled solo domestically and internationally.
Developed into an athlete via a love and drive for running (12 year old Pree who ran a 10:30 mile would freak!)
Avoided physically being in a car accident or traffic tickets (being in O Chem while my parked car got ran into does not count).
Realizing that depression just doesn’t go away and learning how to manage it every day.
Not being a self-absorbed, materialistic brat.
Accepting that I am an old soul living in a millennial’s body.
Loving my body and my skin (brown is beautiful ya’ll—that collagen tho).
Learning that wounds from the past can heal with time.
Running seven marathons.
Volunteering at an animal shelter where I learned that I must be an ACD mom someday.
Not being afraid to stand firm on my opinions.
Being a great listener and an empathetic person.
Honoring my body’s needs (NAPS ARE OKAY, PEOPLE).
Being single for a loooooooong time (no high school sweetheart or college flings here!) and being comfortable with it (I didn’t start dating until ~28).
Not being afraid to say when I’m uncomfortable.
Having the decency not to ghost people.
Being a shoulder to cry on (as much as I used others’ shoulders lol).

Things Freshly 30-Year-Old Me Hopes to Accomplish/Thinks She Wants

Fast-track to a six-figure salary via sensible means (for me, most likely will be working my way up through Medical Affairs 😉).
To be a cat and Australian Cattle Dog mom.
Qualify for and run Boston, and then…
Run a sub-3:00 marathon (basically, become an elite runner—a lot of the top women are in their 30s so that’s my motivation!).
Carefully fuel my body so it can handle the energy needs of #3 & #4. (i.e. drink more water and watch my electrolytes).
Publish my two (in progress) writing works.
Go to Greece (Santorini and that island with cats).
Buy property when “the time is right” (I keep going back-and-forth in regards to if renting forever is good or not…).
Volunteer for impactful causes (yes, politically-related).
Get better at accepting compliments and focusing on that more vs. harping on the “bad” stuff that happened in a day.
Get over imposter syndrome.
Empower the underdog whenever possible.
Finally speak another language fluently (I would love to one day fluently speak the language of my roots, Tamil…just gotta get over the mental and emotional roadblocks built up over time first…).
Continue to practice letting go of anger.
Find the best way to manage my hormones.
Get closer to managing my depression/OCD so that it has minimal impact on my life.
Help others become more self-aware/be better humans.
Continue to work towards living a sustainable life and leading by example to others.
CONSISTENTLY DRINK MORE WATER.
Continue to work on not caring about what others think when it comes to deciding what makes me happy.
Be at a place where I can say I will eventually have enough to retire, but have the energy to keep going.
Stop having headaches (lol, a concentrated effort).
STOP BITING MY NAILS FINALLY??
Continue to celebrate rest and enjoy naps.
Try not to be short-tempered/make sure I am taking care of myself so I don’t let negative feelings overpower me.
Be more assertive when asking for what I need (and not feel bad about it).
Savor my coffee and always have room for cake.
Become a running coach.
Be a career mentor/inspiration for other young women who are going through what I went through in my 20s.
Never let anyone get in my head and try to tell me I’m not (smart/pretty/powerful/brave) enough.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

I can’t think of anything “inspirational” to end with in this post, but I think one thing I feel good about is my direction. I don’t know if I’ll be making $XXX,XXX amount of money by the time I’m 32 or if I’ll race a sub-3:00 before 34…

But I’ll try to keep my head held high and smiling until I get there.

Reading Time: 4 minutes

When it comes to television and movies, I am extremely picky.

Action bores me. I could care less about fantasy. Horror does nothing but maybe make me jump in my seat once or twice over the span of 120 minutes, if I haven’t already fallen asleep 20 minutes in!

What does call my attention is a good story—something you can tell the writers behind-the-scenes were fully invested in. At that point, it really doesn’t matter what “genre” you are watching—a good story captivates its audience regardless.

So even though I prefer the classic comedy or drama, the cliché formula does not cut it for me anymore. Sometimes (okay, maybe 80% of the time nowadays), I’ll watch my favorite teen dramas or sitcoms from the 2000s for nostalgia (Degrassi on HBO Max has been my go-to as of late…), but I can take a break and watch something “new” if it’s worthy of my attention.

And with Ms. Marvel? It surprisingly was.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Why do I say surprising? Ha! I’m a brown second gen desi! I HAVE to like Ms. Marvel because the protagonist is a brown girl, right?

Well, simply put, no. That’s not how it works, and that’s not how it should work.

Here goes with my unpopular opinion: I could never wrap my head around Bridgerton. I did give it a go, but I just didn’t vibe with it. Funny thing is, I absolutely love historical fiction, memoirs, and biopics. I am a huge fan of the show “The Crown” (although I am not a fan of British history because the so-called “empire” did a lot of harm to the desi world…), because for a reenactment of a historical period done many, many times (Hollywood’s infatuation with the British queen is quite odd, haha), the writing and storytelling is top-notch.

I’ll also take this time to recommend The Gilded Age if you’re looking for another historical fiction stunner—amazing show!

So even though South Asian actors were cast for season 2 of Bridgerton, that didn’t change my opinion of the show. I didn’t become a fan overnight because they cast people with skin color similar to mine…

You’ve still got to hold me with your story.

When it came to Ms. Marvel, I only knew it was a part of the Marvel franchise, but nothing about its debut for television. Although, it was not a surprise at all, seeing as though the franchise churns out content at the pace of that one meme…

To be honest, I’m glad I was not active on social media during its release. I’m sure accounts within the South Asian niche I used to follow would have touted the show for all the wrong reasons.

“YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS BECAUSE IT HAS A BROWN GIRL IN IT”, etc.

But I am glad I did watch the show, especially after successfully avoiding the influence of external peer pressure. Now I can say, you must watch this show. Not because it stars a brown girl, but because it’s a great example of how to tell second gen (desi) stories in a casual, yet captivating way.

It’s the old adage: Don’t tell ‘em. Show ‘em.

Since I am Marvel’s worst representative, I can do a brief, spoiler-free description of the show justice. The series tells the story of Kamala Khan, a second gen desi (specifically, a Muslim Pakistani-American) high school girl from Jersey City, who discovers her superhero powers thanks to a family heirloom (can’t make it more desi than a bangle, haha).

I found myself half-asleep through the action scenes, but fully attentive during the parts that dove into Kamala’s personal story. Most of the material was fresh, and far from the stereotypical bore that has become “strict desi parents who don’t trust their kids”.

True, her parents didn’t want her trekking out to AvengerCon on a school night…but tell me, whose parents would allow them to do that?

I loved seeing Kamala portrayed as a happy-go-lucky, down-to-earth girl who is passionate about art and comics, and content with who she was as a person. While she respects her roots and culture, she is like most second gen teens, and her life just naturally blends two cultures without a thought. Her new powers didn’t change who she was either—they accentuated what she already had within her.

The little bit about “Kamala” meaning “Marvel” was a very cute addition to the script…

The writers did a great job weaving in mosque life and emphasizing Pakistani and Muslim culture whenever possible. The Western world likes to group all desi cultures together, forgetting that even just within India, there really could be 20+ countries if we go by the varied languages and ethnic groups. It’s definitely a “win” for all South Asians if people who watched the show can understand this…though I doubt it, we’ve still got a long ways to go.

In addition to the great writing and quality representation, the music was absolutely on point. There was at least one song I recognized in each episode, and even the background music was *chef’s kiss* impeccable. We had everything from old Bollywood to Jai Wolf—talk about representation!

I’m glad I gave Ms. Marvel a chance, despite my apathy for action, superheroes, and comics (manga is the only exception for pre-teen/high school me, haha), because the show did a great job of storytelling, something that seems to be a rarity in the entertainment industry nowadays.

So whenever I spot a good story, I make it my responsibility to entice others to give it the light of day as well. And if that story happens to shine the spotlight on desi characters? That’s great. Let’s keep the ball rolling then. Let more voices have the chance to share their lives through great storytelling too.

Reading Time: 4 minutes

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Today’s world is beyond bonkers. If you don’t agree with me, can I join you under that rock 😅?

I’m one of those people who believes social media since Facebook has done more harm than good, and I pine for the days of Yahoo Messenger and (maybe, a little bit of) Xanga.

We would have definitely been friends in middle school, circa 2004, if you had a Xanga—chatterbox and embedded music, anyone?

The platforms we recognize as social media today I’m sure had humble origins, meant for people to use to keep in touch with friends, schoolmates, family, etc., but the realm as we know it has ballooned into a monster of competition, jealousy, money, and desperation. TikTok (of the Western world) is literally a poor man’s lecture series—short videos of people intimately facing the camera, sharing more beliefs than facts, constantly trying to reel in naïve viewers with shock value. Of course, we still have righteous individuals bravely trying to take space and fix the wrongdoings of others (scientific communicators on the platform, for example), but boy, the crazy ones still outnumber us!

Social media has made it easier to ensure we all know that everyone has an opinion. The question is, are opinions inherently “bad”?

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

If you keep Google’s response in mind, I don’t think so:

In fact, they can be enlightening about someone’s life experiences, and can allow us to understand why they have those perspectives.

Take for example, my opinion on social media. Why do I think it does more harm than good?

As a scientist, I’ve seen the rampant spread of false information regarding scientific topics. The safety and efficacy of vaccines is a prime example of a topic where misinformation has spread like wildfire. It’s been infuriating for me to see the effect this has had on our world during the pandemic.

As a creator, the puppeteering algorithims of Instagram have been anything but helpful towards me. Along with being a scientist, I am a writer, and when I was first carving out my space on Instagram, I was having a tough time growing. I didn’t fit a “visual” niche. Writing is an art form that requires patience of the creator and reading the material that comes out of writing, requests patience of the consumer. Instagram, and other social media platforms, laud eye-catching pictures and short videos with shock value. It celebrates itself as an “entertainment” platform, but excuse me…

When did reading something not become entertainment?

I would imagine that celebrities, businesses, and “successful influencers” (that word makes me want to laugh and vomit at the same time…as if the number of followers you have dictates true influence?) would have a different opinion from mine, most likely because their experiences with social media has benefited them.

Same could be said for people who have personal accounts to keep in contact with friends and passively consume content. There is no “competition” on your end when you have the power to choose from what has been created for you.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Along with my strong opinions about social media, I have strong opinions about other topics too. I know I will have people ready to high-five me, or people ready to whip out a list of arguments telling my why I’m wrong, but in either case, I welcome both.

Regarding my expat experience, I’ve had people question me why I’m so critical of Italy.

“Go back to America then,” I’ve been told aggressively.

But the thing is, these opinions were formed based on the experiences I’ve had. And the magical thing about opinions is, is that they can change too.

There are expats who’ve had an opposite experience from mine—welcomed with open arms, minor struggles they were able to laugh off, a more understanding support circle to help with the transition—who would probably offer a more positive opinion on living abroad in Italy.

All of our opinions are valid, because they are the result of rich and exciting life stories.

So when it comes to listening and sharing opinions, I think being reminded of the following helps with maintaining healthy discussions:

Opinions are the introduction to someone’s story, having the patience to dig deeper could perhaps foster a strong sense of empathy and trust.

Trying to “prove someone wrong” by telling them they are wrong will make them more staunch in their opinion. It’s always better to be the person who takes the high road and leads by example. A petty argument is never worth it.
Dangerous topics can lead to hurtful opinions. It takes a strong person to sit through words that may be triggering, but these hurtful opinions reveal a lot more about the person who harbors them. Choosing to drop the conversation is just as valid as choosing to forgive. This is a situation that definitely calls on us to remember that opinions can stem from painful experiences, and that we shouldn’t be quick to judge the person, but rather, understand why they have come to form those opinions.

In my opinion, opinions are OK for healthy discourse. We just have to be mindful of our reactiveness to them.

If We Were Having Coffee…

Connections Over Coffee

30

Marvel Me With Your Story