I’m pleased to present a guest post by Joseph F. Kolapudi, a fellow second gen desi based in Australia! When Joseph reached out to me eager to share his thoughts on how connection in our community is essential—especially during challenging times like a global pandemic—I couldn’t refuse. I’m thrilled to feature Joseph’s piece here on Second Gen Desi—it’s definitely worth a read!
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Community. It’s what brings us together in the toughest of times. During natural disasters, world wars, political unrest – it can be the anchor we look for when we are overwhelmed in a sea of anarchy. However, what happens when the one thing we take for granted is distanced from us?
During these days of what can be described as some of the most uncertain circumstances, our current situation in which we find ourselves seems to be a reality that is too hard to understand. But challenging times seem to be the only constant of our present age.
Conversations, especially ones that cross borders, cultures, and caveats to enter into the homes and living rooms of our existences, especially for second generation desis, can be some of the most engaging and most honest conduits of truth that we cling to in these tough times.
I recently connected with a fellow second-generation desi who had been struggling due to COVID-19. Despite our differences in time zones, country borders and situations, I understood the importance that our shared connection had in making them feel valued and appreciated. Although our connection was limited by these factors, we still had commonalities that we could express and seek to understand together. Fast forward to the present day, and she managed to move to the same city, and I was able to connect her to a wider community in which she has now found greater solace and similarities.
These are the conversations that we have a hard time engaging in, especially in the midst of a global pandemic. Though cultural conversations have been a hallmark of our times, what happens when those conversations turn inward towards introspection?
Personally speaking, it’s something I’ve been doing a lot of lately. About how second generation desis can learn to code-switch without even thinking twice, but wonder why others can’t do so without thinking about it long and hard. How we can know a person’s ability to connect with those like us, but we somehow find it increasingly difficult to decipher where they feel more at home. How some people can look past a person’s background or status, but fail to see the struggle despite the façade of success.
We need to look at how we can take our conversations from small talk to street talk. From a person-to-person experience to a communal reality. From connections in a corner of the community hall, to one that’s a worldwide phenomenon that every desi can resonate with in their own, unique way.
Our world is hurting right now, but there is a hope that what lies beyond tomorrow is worth fighting for. It begins with honest conversation, but it doesn’t stop there. Through our own, personal connection to others, we can see the light that God has placed inside each of us.
We can be the community that comes together for true connection; and it starts with us.
Joseph is a second-generation desi currently living in Australia. He currently works as a Project Director of a nonprofit by day, and a cultural connoisseur of Indian cuisine by night. He also loves exploring different cultures and countries whenever he is able, and recently returned to India for his wedding. As a writer by profession, he prefers to explain stories through the written word, and looks forward to connecting with the wider desi diaspora!
Before the COVID crisis took over, I took the privilege of travel for granted. Looking back, I was lucky to have opportunites to travel both domestically (within the US) and internationally, solo or with family.
And coming from LA, it didn’t take too long to master these cities 😉
As much as my solo trip to Sweden in the summer of 2019 was indeed lonely, I am still awestruck by the fact that I completed a 10-day trip-for-one, despite the many moments of ennui I experienced.
My trip started in Stockholm, followed by stops in Gothenburg, Malmo, and Copenhagen. Although the latter of the cities is technically in Denmark, it happened to be my most favorite part of the trip.
I documented my Swedish & Copenhagen adventures on a former blog before I decided to close it down for Second Gen Desi. But with COVID still around and with it still influencing our current travel policies, I decided to dig through my archives and find my old travel posts so that I could try to relive the memories.
Since I was unable to copy over the text, we’ll have to settle for these screenshots, and you’ll have to forgive me for the small, poor photo quality 😅.
Still, I’m glad I took the time to type out a recap of my trip, even if it was three months after I returned 😅😅.
Hard to believe there was a time of crowds and flurry at the peak of summer. I can only imagine what Italy was like in the summer of 2019, and I wonder if we can ever get back to that type of traveling lifestyle ever again…
As for Sweden, I don’t have much of a desire to return for leisure, but I have heard amazing things about Norway and Finland…but to be honest, I’d be happy just to make it out of Lombardia for my travel plans this year 😉
It’s been seven months of living in Milan, and I think I’ve had plenty of pasta and pizza to satisfy my authentic Italian cuisine checklist.
What I truly miss are foods that are “sacrilegious” here, like pineapple pizza or bagel breakfast sandwiches made with eggs and cheese.
Not exactly my vegan favorites, but man do I miss the plethora of vegan options that were in Los Angeles...
Back when I ran a food-focused, lifestyle blog (Will Study for Food), I made it a priority to check out restaurants and write full reviews on them. It was something I truly enjoyed, and while I never got to an extreme level of “food influencer”, I was able to connect with local restaurants from time-to-time to participate in tastings, or review products from food companies that got in contact with me.
But I soon grew tired of constantly posting about food. My blog post format was starting to get repetitive because seriously, there’s only so many ways you can be creative when it comes to writing food reviews 🤷🏽♀️.
Since starting Second Gen Desi and moving abroad, I have started to miss my food blogging days, but here in Milan, I wasn’t in the mood to take pictures of every caffè or brioche I stumbled upon.
But since coming here, I realized it would be fun to at least try foods from local restaurants that I could group into a “category” for a later blog posts.
I thought that it could perhaps provide some fun during these dreary times, and especially help restaurants survive via the delivery services I started to use on the daily 😅
So with this in mind, I scoured the land for whatever vegan restaurants I could find. One I had the chance to dine-in at, twice, in the summer before everything went COVID-crazy again.
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So if you are vegan in Milan and are struggling with options, or you’re somewhere else in the world and find it unbelievable that the land of formaggio and proscuitto even has vegan options, scroll on down to see what I ended up finding 👇🏽!
1 ) Flower Burger (dine-in, Porta Venezia location)
I knew of Flower Burger even before coming to Italy, when I still participated in the food blogging-charade and stumbled across someone’s IG post featuring a plate of colorful vegan burgers. I remember saving the post under a file where I archived any intriguing restaurants outside of the US—in case I ever happened to travel to a particular country, I was ready with my “where-to-chow-down” list.
It’s amusing that I ended up eventually visiting Flower Burger, twice!
My second visit was in early September, on a weekday evening after work. I came prepared to order in Italian and not use my Bank of America credit card (not that using that particular card was a bad thing, but it was a dead-giveaway to the cashier that I was not an Italian native and a give-away that I was not a native Italian speaker…)
In this visit, I was successful in ordering an Ocean Burger—their special edition burger outfitted in a bright teal bun, sandwiching some good fixin’s including lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole, a thick quinoa patty, and a mayo-type sauce called “beach sauce”.
The burger came paired with patate savory (potato wedges), but I didn’t think to ask for an extra order of sauce.
This is something I’ve realized about Italians—they skimp when it comes to saucing their carbs!
Besides the “dry” potato situation, Flower Burger’s burgers were, in my mind, the go-to for vegan burgers in all of Milano.
That is, until lockdowns happened again in late October, and I discovered a new guy in town…
2) Black Out Burgers by Avo Brothers
I was scrolling through Deliveroo, an app that has gotten me through Italy’s oscillating restrictions, in early November when I first spotted BOB.
Unlike Flower Burger, they didn’t seem to have a brick-and-mortar store nor was their entire menu vegan-friendly. What made some of their selections vegan-friendly was using Beyond Burger in their “normal” dishes, but it was something else that made my eyes pop:
Britney’s No Chicken Burger
I was able to save a *bit* of money by making it a meal, getting some sweet potato fries on the side, TWO sauce cups, and a can of ice cold acqua frizzante.
The bag it came in helped me figure out why my burger was Britney’s (like, Britney Spears?)
Wowwww, oh wow—this meal was demanding to compete with what Flower Burger had to offer. The fries were incredibly sweet and earthy, and I made a wise choice by getting BBQ sauce and paprika mayo on the side for dipping. I was also able to request plant-based cheddar for the burger, the patty of which was incredibly crispy.
Anyone who says they can’t stand veggie/vegan burgers because they taste awful, and that they prefer the “real thing”, needs to try this. And be proved wrong.
From that point on, I ordered least one meal from BOB each week, usually on Monday nights since it served as a good pick-me-up for having to start a new work week.
I even raved about BOB on a vegan and vegetarian’s group chat I’m a part of with other expat women in the city 😂:
I gave BOB excellent reviews for quite a while after my first order, but when they made an egregious error regarding the last order I placed with them, that tampered with my trust.
Due to an order mix-up, I opened my bag to find a lovely beefy burger, and I decided to call it quits. Thankfully I caught it, but I was put-off from their lack of integrity and awareness for the customer.
I guess itwas good while it lasted.
3) Avo Brothers
During my BOB obsession, I did take a break and order from the OG Avo Brothers.
Their menu had refreshing options like salads, bowls, and (vegan) desserts!
I opted for the Lolita Bowl, which wasn’t exactly vegan due to the halloumi cheese (which could always be taken out), but I went for it as is, keeping it vegetarian with the cheese.
I can see why it’s one of their most popular bowls (it says so on Deliveroo). It’s packed with spinach, avocado, purple cabbage, tomatoes, squash, beet hummus, and sunflower seeds 🤩
As far as the guilt-free brownie though….if I had known it would be so soft, chewy, and flavorful, I would have ordered at least….three? 🤣
4) Soulgreen
Soulgreen seems to be well-known by vegan expats here (at least based on the one chat group I’m in…), but from all of the times I’ve ordered from here, I haven’t been able to get away from the Falafel Wrap.
It’s an unassuming dish, with no fancy fillings, but it’s one of my favorites. Since it comes with potato wedges and ketchup (finally, a place in Milan that understands that some sort of condiment is essential when it comes to potato wedges and the sort 🙌🏽).
I’m used to falafel wraps with thick tahini-based sauces, but I was surprised by how the consistency was much like plain yogurt (very runny, and too runny for my liking).
I also wasn’t able to confirm if the sauce was dairy-free, so this ingredient might make this particular dish vegetarian rather than vegan.
5) MACHAPOKE
I was surprised to learn that sushi is incredibly popular in Milan, and in line with that, poke.
In LA, I always ended up doing a create-your-own type bowl if I ended up at a poke shop, so I could avoid the fish and get more of the other, better stuff 😉.
I was pleased to see that many of the poke shops on food delivery apps like Deliveroo offer vegetarian or even vegan bowls, and MACHAPOKE’s version is one of my favorites.
Their specific Vegan Poke bowl is so eye-catching—with a quinoa base, vegan burger balls (that actually look like falafel), avocado, broccoli, carrot, chickpeas, sunflower seeds, squash, and flaxseeds.
They threw in some chopsticks, soy sauce, and ginger, even though the bowl didn’t need it 😂. It was a struggle trying to get the last bits of quinoa with chopsticks, let me tell ya…
They also offer a vegan cheesecake, but since 75% of it is bland, it’s not worth a re-order. I didn’t expect the matcha layer to be too sweet, but I was hoping the middle layer would have been better in the sweet department (far from it). The bottom graham crust layer was the only part that was decent. Wish there had been more of that and not just like, 25%…
6) Cibo Vegan Food
Ah, Cibo Vegan Food—probably the most bland vegan outlet in all of Milan, and one of the priciest.
Due to a technical error on one weeknight, Deliveroo offered those who tried to place an order that evening a 5 euros off promo code to “make things right again”.
With that in hand, I could “splurge” a little and see if Cibo was worthy any hype.
Their menu was headache-inducing due to the Italian I had to comprehend after a long work day, but I ended up getting their vegan paella, a “cake” slice with pears and ginger, and “arancino di cereali misti”.
When my food arrived, I could tell not much work went into the packaging. I think the assumption that vegan places tend to be environmentally-friendly is an assumption gone awry…
The vegan paella was nothing special—just flavored rice with bite-size pieces of tofu and tempeh mixed in.
The “arancino” reminded me of a bland falafel—not even the “soy” sauce (basically hummus) could help it out of the flavorless black hole!
Oh, and the excuse-for-a-dessert that was the pere e zenzero cake slice. It could have been sweeter is an understatement…it needed to be dipped into a pool of sugar 😂
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Just like it’s possible to live in Los Angeles without a car, it’s possible to eat vegan in Milan, if that’s what you truly want! LA has far more options, but for a city in a traditional country with (ridiculous) food rules, the options that are available in Milan are decent.
Perhaps when these lockdowns ease down 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 I’ll be more motivated to see what else I can find…
Running has been a serious part of my life for about nine years—it has evolved from checking off races and writing recaps, to focusing on my training and trying to adopt the stance of an athlete. It’s hard to believe that the last race I ran took place almost two years ago, but that was a break I absolutely needed.
As I write up this reflection, I’m seeing how much of an impact running has had on my physical and mental health in the last decade. There’s so much more I want to accomplish in this sport, and I can only hope that my “break” from training has refreshed my motivation reserves to pursue race goals this year and in the near future…
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I hated running as a kid, but I surprisingly did cross-country for one year in middle school, in an effort to list it as an extra-curricular activity for college apps. Turns out colleges don’t care what you did before high school…so they never knew about how much I despised being the only brown girl on the “team” and the second-slowest one at that!
I was relieved to kick running aside once I got to high school, choosing to focus on tennis instead. My Dad was also thrilled about this, and we spent many off-season afternoons practicing at community park courts.
I was good for a high school kid, but not good enough to make it to the collegiate level, so I was “sport-less” once again in college. Running as a sport came across my mind again after stumbling upon blog posts by bloggers who detailed their racing adventures in “race recaps”. I was so inspired by one particular blogger’s running journey, that I signed up for my first race in 2012, at a local Turkey Trot.
My average pace was around 10:00/mi at the time—nothing special, but timing wasn’t my goal. I was excited to run all the local races I could, and post my own race recaps!
I was still struggling with an eating disorder when I picked up running during this time. The fact that I was running and exerting energy through a physical sport was somewhat convincing for my brain, “allowing” me to consume more on days I ran, but counting calories was still an obsession…
When I moved to Los Angeles for graduate school, I stumbled upon a marathon training team. Prior to that, I never thought I would train for a marathon, but something about combining running with camaraderie and setting new distance goals seemed highly appealing at the time.
Before I knew it, I crossed the finish of my first marathon in March 2015.
But given the state my body was in, I had to make a critical decision: choose recovery so that running would be a sustainable activity for life, or continue on a path of restriction and running until my body crumbed from overexertion and inadequate fuel.
I chose the former, and while I battled negative body image thoughts for another year after getting myself to a healthy weight, at least I was now at a point where I could get in shape to compete healthily.
So in the training cycle for my third marathon in LA, I was finally seeing progress. I was running workouts with my teammates at paces ranging from 7:30-8:24/mi on “fast” days, and my endurance was the best it had ever been.
It got me a PR of 3:57:53, in March 2017.
After this marathon, things continued to feel right with running. I had a marathon in San Diego booked for two months later, and I had fun piggy-backing off of my LA marathon training, and finding and working with a coach. The race time I got in San Diego was comparable to LA, and it only pushed me to want more out of my training—toreally push the envelope on my pacing and time goals.
But things started to sour in late 2017. I had agreed with my coach to switch to forefoot running (to get away from heel striking) in an effort to make my running more energy-efficient. This took me about six months to get used to, and shook me up during my fall marathon training cycle.
My times were getting “slow” again. What was this coach doing?
I ran my third marathon for the year—fifth one total—in November 2017: the Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa. The race itself was an awful experience due to the piercing cold weather and my own issues with bowel movements and breathing. After the race, I suffered with a bout of shin splints, and I figured it was time for a clear break from training.
Unfortunately, these issues didn’t disappear in 2018. I was plagued with breathing issues, bowel problems, fatigue coinciding with PMS, and chest tightness. This was also paired with mental fatigue, since I had pent up frustration from not being able to meet my next-level goals.
At one point in the year, I ran a race in Orange County and completely lacked the enthusiasm I normally had for races. I didn’t take out my phone to take pictures, and I felt irritable throughout my time on the course. I eventually walked some of the race—something I never did for distances less than 26.2 miles—and called it quits early.
So I thought 2019 would be a fresh start, but running LA that year proved to be nothing special. I then made the more serious decision not to participate in anymore races until I was ready to compete with a pace (and mind) I was happy with.
Then, 2020 happened, and it was as if taking a break from races was pre-planned for me by the universe!
It wasn’t until later in the year—after settling in Italy—that I started to think about having a new approach to training. My ultimate goal was—and still is—to get faster. To eventually be able to compete at the elite level. The past few years have been a challenge in regards to staying in line with this goal, but I didn’t want to lose hope.
Back in September 2020, I wanted to start training again, smartly.
These were humbling realizations, but having them when I did was probably pre-mature, looking back. I was struggling with handling work demands—and adapting to a new life in general—with my energy levels, so many of the weeks in late 2020 were much like before. I ran when I could, but just to keep with a routine. I still lacked the energy required to hit the time goals I desired.
At least when I did venture out to run, I tried to appreciate my surroundings and take in the nice, peaceful moments of nature when they happened…
I’ve also been incredibly lucky to spend so much time in Como… it’s the perfect backdrop for weekend runs near the fresh mountain air…
And at least now, I can say I’ve run in the snow 😅? Not the best setting for marathon training, but a fun way to ring in the new year…
…so was running 40 miles for the last week of 2020, my highest weekly mileage of 2020 since the summer.
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It’s hard to predict how racing will look after the mess that was 2020, but I hope I can finally get back to a “training 2.0” of sorts.
I have my eyes on some marathons that are tentatively scheduled in late April/May here in Italy, but since anything can happen, I’m also ready to figuratively run in place… my goal is to be ready for whatever comes.
I originally wrote this post for my old blog—a post that humorously described the hierarchy of a scientific research lab. I wrote this as a second-year PhD student in February 2016, but I thought it would be fun to reflect on this post as a now post-doc.
The following text is my original post, while my commentary in the present day is in red 😉.
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I often reference how I have to “pop into lab” or “go out for lunch after lab” in many of my posts, but I have not had the chance (or the patience) to go into detail about my life in lab. I thought it would be fun to describe the usual hierarchy of a lab, so you could have at least some idea of what I have to deal with on a daily basis…
Before I became the dedicated PhD student researcher I am today (😅) , I was an overworked, overexhausted undergrad student, who was treated like a grad student during my first lab research experience. Not all was bad though, as I learned a lot, and had face-time with my boss every time I was in the lab, but as an undergrad student I could only spend so much time in the lab. My boss at the time didn’t understand this, and she kept pressuring me to stay longer, work more, etc. I was able to hold on for a year before moving on to my next experience!
I think PIs don’t understand the concept of work-life balance in general…most just want you to get your tasks done, no questions asked. If you speak up and say it’s too much, perhaps if they are the reasonable type you can reach a compromise to prevent burnout, but most scientists keep to themselves and work without question. This has frustrated me over the years because it’s a form of peer pressure that isn’t healthy. We need breaks, we need rest, and we need to prioritize our time so that we take care of ourselves and our work doesn’t suffer…
The undergrads in my current lab are more like these guys though …
They’re not annoying, but most of them work under a post-doc in my lab who likes to call them “minions”. In my lab, they tend to carry out smaller experiments and tasks, but don’t necessarily have a project on their own. In comparison, I would say I had it a lot better as an undergrad (if we’re talking about getting experience and training… if we’re talking about the preservation of my sanity, then perhaps it would be the opposite 😂).
When it was time for me to recruit and mentor my own set of students, I treated them with dignity and respect. I knew that if I wanted them to help me with my work, I had to take the time to carefully train them and of course, practice patience. It’s never the student who is incapable of comprehending information—it’s the teacher’s job to present the information in a clear way.
Next up on the lab hierarchy are usually research techs/lab assistants. Usually people that are at this stage are students that just finished undergrad, and are trying to keep busy while waiting to hear from the grad/medical school programs they applied to. I fell into this stage right after I graduated from undergrad a year early, and fortunately, it was in a lab that was very laid-back. I wasn’t paid (so that meant working evening shifts at a local outlet store for some $$), but it kept me attuned with the research world as I applied, which also helped with my interviews!
But not all research techs/lab assistants are students-in-waiting. In fact, I’ve come across many people who are older adults, or people who got a B.S. or M.S. in some science major and had to take a hiatus from lab work due to personal circumstances.
My sister completed her master’s degree, and is currently working as a research assistant/lab manager at an established institution. She’s a relatively fresh graduate compared to many research techs/lab assistants—I know a woman who has held this position in a lab for 22 years 😱!
In either case, they’re on a never-ending quest to prove that they’ve got what it takes.
Then there are the grad students, the PhD-type 😛. Their origin can be one of these two: a continuing masters student, or one who is constantly replying “No, I came straight from bachelors” to anyone who asks, “Did you get a masters first?“.
Compared to my years as an undergrad, I would say being a grad student is less intense. Shocked? Don’t be! I still have plenty of work, and with my qualifying exam coming up, I’ll probably be rethinking what I type here, but I am being completely honest when I say I felt more stressed/anxious/obsessive about my work as an undergrad than I do now. I view the work I do now as my job, and I don’t necessarily see myself as a student in the traditional sense. I do have classes I have to take, but unlike in undergrad where my focus was on class and doing well in class, now it’s to produce work in lab and just show your face in class.
Yeah…I spoke to soon 😂. My third and fourth years were the most intense of my PhD career. I felt an incredible amount of pressure in my fourth year, as I was in the middle of manuscript writing. A lot of doubt and negative feelings resurfaced, and it was a tough period in my life to get through. Whoever says the path to a PhD is fun and easy is delusional 🙃
Just above the PhD students, you have the post-docs. These guys and gals try very hard to make sure everyone knows that they are NO LONGER STUDENTS and that they do in fact have 100% earned the right to be called _____ , PhD. There is no denying the fact that they do deserve this, but it can get irritating when you have grad student vs. post-doc argumentsdebates. The PhD student doesn’t want to look stupid when he/she asks a question to the post-doc, and the post-doc wants to make sure that they give the right answer, and “look good” doing so. They also have added pressure to be even more independent than a student, and are often regarded as mini-bosses in the lab.
I’m currently six months into my position as a post-doc in a new lab, and I have to remind myself often that I do indeed have a PhD after my name. That yes, I am a doctor. It may depend on the lab environment, but given the smaller size of my current lab and the lack of available students to help carry out expansive experiments, I’m back to doing all of my work on my own. And this definitely makes me feel like I’m a student 😓.
Finally, we have the primary investigator (Pl). The head honcho. The big boss. The don…
I’ve come across three PIs in my overall experience so far (not including rotations), and while they all have their own quirks and personality traits, a couple things stay common for all. As a Pl, your biggest responsibility is making sure your lab has adequate finances. It’s what gives you the freedom to run your lab the way you want to. It’s no secret that funding is extremely tight, so labs can get competitive when it comes to raking in mon-ayyy. In order to make sure the lab is successful, a Pl needs to be assertive, exact, frank, and be able to compromise if necessary (especially when it comes to collaborations, as science is definitely a “it’s who you know” kind of industry)…
Yup, this PI description is still pretty accurate 😁
It’s kind of funny that as a grad student, I fall right in the middle of all these interesting characters! At times, it almost feels like I’m in a sitcom or a TV show with all the crazy interactions and dynamics that go on around me or involve me. I do love it though…
Ah, how naïve I was back then! The remaining 3.5 years after this post was written were packed with work, but I did find my footing. As I gained seniority, I became more comfortable with my surroundings, my experiments, troubleshooting protocols, and presenting data. I trained over 20 undergraduate and master’s students who sought research experience, and I’ve presented at conferences and published a first author paper in a well-known journal.
I wouldn’t say I love this life, but when results from experiments make sense, your data is validated by your colleagues, and you are recognized for all of the time and effort you put in, it’s hard not to give yourself a pat on the back and take pride in your work!
Sometimes I wonder why I chose this life, but I have to admit that eventually…the difficult times have the potential to become something worthwhile and rewarding.
The risk is in the wait, and the unavoidable unknown…