A Lazy Girl’s Guide to Kauai

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Don’t want to miss any future posts? Are you subscribed to email updates? Click here!

Back in August, my sister and I traveled to Hawaii for the very first time. Our island selection was purely based on which was cheapest to fly into on our selected dates from Austin, Texas—travel planning at its finest 😂.

Lucky for us, one of Hawaii’s most beautiful islands—Kauai—was the “cheap” one to fly into from the bunch. When I started sharing our travel plans with others, everyone who had been could not stop commenting on the jungle lure and true South Pacific vibes this particular island had to offer.

Even with the hype, my sister and I still waited until a few days before to finalize our itinerary, and given the nature of my job at the time, I was remote working for part of the trip. Despite all of this, we had no complaints, but there were moments I couldn’t help but mock regarding our so-called “vacation life”.

Read on as I poke fun at our adventures, as “lazy girls in Hawaii” 🤙

Rent a car under your name, but have your sister drive you around because you get “chronic headaches” and super sleepy after meals. I am the worst traveler in that my body malfunctions and/or shuts down during travel. I used to be able to knock-out on planes as a kid, but the smaller seats and barbarians who like to recline their seat way too far prevent me from accumulating precious sleep hours. Instead, I arrive to my destination with jet-lag induced headaches super hungry, and upon eating my first meal, I can feel my eyes start to droop. Definitely not safe if you need to drive around, so thank goodness for my travel partner sister, lol.

We got “upgraded” to a bigger car. It definitely was roomy and it did have good AC, which was super important for us lol.

Participate in Kauai Humane Society’s dog field trip program by selecting the oldest, least energetic dog, only to have him pee on your beach umbrella. In my defense, I wanted to take out their cattle dog. but he got snatched up right away. I also didn’t want to push it since my energy levels were pretty low after a long day spent at the beach, fully exposed to all the UV, the day before. Brockstein seemed great for a while…until I decided to take a break in the water and leave him with my sister for ten minutes. Of course he had to relieve himself on the beach umbrella and our only towel, of course…

Nah, but he was a sweet soul. It pains me every time I see a senior dog at the shelter, knowing that the likelihood of them being adopted and living their final years in a home with a loving family is statistically low :/. Out of all the things we did in Kauai, I highly recommend incorporating this into your itinerary.

Stock up on local snacks to save money and take a break from the few vegan-friendly places on the entire island. The one thing I did do research on prior to our trip was the vegan foodie scene. Kauai does have a couple of intriguing vegan cafes and restaurants. Our favorite ended up being The Spot close to where we were staying (Princeville), which offered all sorts of intriguing foods and drinks, including an acai bowl that was drenched with macadamia butter—my sister loved that.

When our wallets needed a break, we trekked to some of the local markets and kept an eye out for snacks in the $2-3 range (that’s cheap by Hawaiian standards). These Noms snacks and of course, Hawaiian Host chocolates featuring macadamia, were sensible choices.

Use work meetings as an excuse to have your sister get breakfast for you—hey, give her your credit card cause she’s not your maid! I was in contract-role that prevented me from taking a paid vacation during the time of our Kauai vacation, so I decided to work the days we were there so that I could fund the vacation 😂. To me this isn’t a bizarre concept, being a millennial professional who has lived through the COVID-era. I wasn’t hula hooping over the fact I had to be up at 5am to attend meetings, but at least I finished at 1pm local time, and that gave us plenty of time to vacation. It’s all about balance, ya’ll.

These delicious beauties were a find from my sister—her Holey Grail discovery was theeee best

Let your sister shop to her heart’s content because you’d rather take a nap in the car. My sister is a shopper, I am not. All of her friends far and wide were gifted with trinkets from our travels. Most of my friends didn’t even realize I was in Hawaii until it popped up on their social media. If I don’t even know what I want for myself, how could I begin to figure out gifts for others? Instead, I entertained myself with naps in the car and taking on the title of chicken anthropologist—the Hawaiian kind are worthy of their own reality show.

While she shopped, I devoured native delicacies like shaved ice

Make at least one day a dedicated beach day so you can have your mandatory summer vacation pics for Insta. This summer, I wore a swimsuit four times. I can’t even recall the last time I had a summer where I wore a swimsuit more than once…given that I am an August baby, I know that’s pitiful. At least I wore my swimsuit in Hawaii twice, and it took an incredible amount of effort to do just that. My sister was a great photographer, and I paid the favor back. Now we have proof that we vacationed in Hawaii, even if it is “basic”.

Even Brockstein got his beach look on

If you have to chase down a beach umbrella blowing in the wind at Poipu, it will look comical AF so make sure your sister has her camera out to capture the ridiculousness of it all. Poipu is an oft-cited, well-known area of Kauai, but it wasn’t our favorite. It was too far south from where we stayed in Princeville (we found North Shore in general to be more our vibe, and Hanalei was our favorite beach). We chose to not go for a swim that day, but to lounge with a beach umbrella sans doggo.

If you’re into surfing and high tides, Poipu is definitely more your style. There were a lot of swimmers and surfers hangin’ ten and it honestly looked like a lot of fun. Unfortunately for us this meant a lot of wind, and at one point, our beach umbrella was literally ripped from the sand, tumbling through the air. After having run a speed workout that morning, my legs were incredibly sore, yet I pushed (as well as tripped and plodded like a buffoon) towards the umbrella hoping to grab it before it stabbed someone in the eye. Luckily I got it, but I wish I had a video to share. By the end of it I was laughing while also trying not to collapse—it was too hilarious a sight.

Don’t see any sea turtles (honu) even though everyone says you will. Stalk chickens instead. I didn’t see any turtles (except for one that looked beached at Poipu 😬), but I did see ALL the chickens and as I stated earlier, their lives are WILD.

My first day in Kauai is mostly chicken pics

If you start to miss Texas by Day 4, don’t worry, you are not going crazy. You just thought you would be able to escape humidity for a bit but the Garden Island laughed in your face. While the intermittent rain was refreshing, the stabbing heat and humidity that followed right after was not. Running through said heat and humidity was something I was accustomed to coming from Texas, but it was also something I was trying to escape from, LOL.

Do not go hiking at Ho’opi’i Falls. It will not take 20 minutes and you will not be amused by the guava on the forest floor. Why is it every time I go hiking with a family member or close friend, it is always a disaster 😂? Someone didn’t bring water, someone didn’t wear the right shoes, someone is too tired…okay, a lot of the times it’s me 😅, but I like to thank running for my endurance/fitness, both physically and mentally.

In addition to a beach day, my sister and I wanted to check off at least one waterfall hike, and Ho’opi’i sounded reasonable. Unfortunately it wasn’t, as the paths were wet and muddy from the morning rain, and the trail (despite being supposedly walked upon by locals and tourists alike) was difficult to decipher. As we motioned further and further into the “jungle”, every time we would spot someone heading back we would ask them how long it took to get to the falls. “Ummm, twenty minutes?”. Perhaps the next “influencer” who makes a trip to Kauai can make a reel about this: how long does it really take to get to Ho’opi’i Falls?

Eventually we made it, and absolutely captured it on camera.

Don’t be surprised if you are sick for two solid weeks post-vacation, eye infection included. This is literally what happened to us. Within a day from returning, my sister and I had varied symptoms for what we could only conclude to be some type of flu. I had intermittent fevers, and eventually a cough/sinus problems for about a total of two weeks post-trip. We were COVID negative, but the weird part was the eye infection that my sister developed at the tail-end of her sickness ordeal. So, be prepared for any tropical bugs, I guess?

And last, but not least, watch me whip and watch me NENE!! If anyone gets the reference, you are a true millennial, but nene are in fact Hawaii’s national bird! It was a gorgeous sight to see them on my runs, relaxed on their land, against the backdrop of lush green and bright blue.

Would you be a “lazy girl” in Kauai or more adventurous 🐢?

Connections Over Coffee

Reading Time: 5 minutes

I’m sure all of us have experienced post-vacation blues to some extent, but for me, I now see there is a consistent pattern for which trips I experience this phenomenon.

This pattern recognition came about after experiencing some not so memorable trips…

  • My solo trips to Sweden and Vancouver felt blasé. They were safe and something I can pat myself on the back for doing “on my own”, but I was relieved to get back home (at the time) to Orange County after BOTH of those trips…
  • My solo day trips around Italy last year—to Genoa, Venice, Florence, Bologna, and Verona were days I remember dragging myself around with ennui. I was walking everywhere, taking pictures where I was supposed to, but I felt miserable, cranky, and angry, mostly because I was indeed homesick.
  • I left for my Geneva work trip excited, but with certain circumstances that popped up, I came back to Milan exhausted/happy it was over—I could go further to say that by May’s end, I had never been more excited about going back to Houston.

So, which trips made me feel sad when I returned home because I enjoyed them so much?

  • Every single trip I’ve made to India (I always came back severely exhausted and jetlagged since childhood, but it was always worth it).
  • When I saw my sister and best friend in Austin last summer after a (tough) year away in Italy. We spent a few days altogether, and I remember after driving back to my parents’ house, I couldn’t help but cry from the happiness I experienced/the emotional crash once I realized it was over.
  • The blessing of making multiple trips home this year to Houston for my Dad and Austin for my sis. Ha, even Las Vegas, the home of my best friend, made its way in here!

The common denominator was not the places I visited or the attractions I saw.

It was the people. It was family—both by blood and chosen.

And my recent trip to the UK was no exception. It was a last-minute trip planned for only a weekend (a mere “drop in the water” compared to the “cannonball” vacations Italians are taking at the moment…), but because the experience was so rich, it felt like a month-long vacation!

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

On my former blog (Will Study for Food), I actually recapped the time five years ago when we reconnected with my cousin and her family in Wales. At the time, it was a reunion after 17 years! Compared to that decade-and-then-some, reuniting after five years this time around seemed like nothing. Even with COVID sandwiched in for two years, it felt like no time had passed since our last meeting.

Except when it comes to children, five years is an incredibly large chunk of time! My cousin’s daughters P and M were 14 and 8, respectively, when I met them all five years ago. Now, they pretty much transitioned into the next phase of life, while I went from 25 to 30 not feeling like much has changed for me.

P is old enough to make elaborate, home-cooked breakfasts now. I was IMPRESSED.

While I had a phenomenal time with my cousin and family at Newton Beach, thrifting in Bristol, and traversing through Birmingham, I thought I’d shift away from the standard “travel recap” and use this post to comment on something else.

My last morning in Cardiff, my cousin generously made us both coffee (like she did on all the days I visited, haha) but this time, she suggested we sip on our drinks out on the patio. With the babies trying to join in, it led to a really great conversation that I didn’t want to end.

The babies I’m referring to

But, I unfortunately had a flight to catch, and it included a stop at dreaded ORLY in Paris…

The fact is, I love these types of conversations. Even if they’re brief, they have the potential to dive deep. I’m the kind of person who will chat your ear off, but only if you have an interest to hear what I have to say. So, it often leads to people assuming I’m “quiet” when in fact, I just don’t want to bore you.

I’ve had similar “coffee and conversation” moments with other cousins and family members in the past, but sometimes I still held back. In those moments, I hesitated to bring up sensitive topics like my Mom and my eating disorder, because I wasn’t sure if I was emotionally ready enough to handle any type of reaction that could result.

As I’ve gotten older, I welcome these conversations. With each one that I have, it’s a bit easier to reveal the most of myself without feeling doubt or shame. Ha, I’m sure anyone who is curious about my life and is connected with me via WhatsApp has had a chance to peruse this blog (my profile pic has become an advert for it 😂, since I don’t do social media anymore). Even if it was just to be nosy, I hope the posts I’ve written—especially the vulnerable ones—got their point across…

Looking back at the short trip I made, I enjoyed the conversation of that serene Sunday morning the most out of all the things I did. It reminded me that it doesn’t matter where I am in the world, but as long as I am with people I love and enjoy being around (even better with a cup of coffee in hand), that is what a real vacation is.

Lovely Birmingham

Are you a “people person” often mistaken as a pure introvert? Leave a comment with your thoughts!

Things I Miss as an American Expat in Italy

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Every trip I’ve made back to the US from Italy, since August 2021, has been surprisingly enlightening, and one thing is absolutely clear.

Italy will never be home. America is the parent I long had the “rebellious, teen phase” with, who I now realize has been there for me all along, waiting for me to come to my senses 😂.

I semi-kid, but in reality, I have had yet another epiphany.

Life has an interesting way of working. I look back on all the steps I’ve taken so far and do not regret a single event, although if I had the chance to go back in time with the knowledge I’ve gained, boy, I’d use it to my advantage.

I am grateful that my current job is a stepping stone for something greater in my career. True, the pay is less than what I’d like (I’m not exactly eager to transition to an Italian contract for that reason…), but my current role offers a lot of flexibility. There are still opportunities for me to stay connected stateside and I can only hope what I do now will build up to that future I envision.

I must admit that every time I am in the US though, it feels like a HUGE sigh of relief. It’s like I can finally remove a mask that was suctioned to my face for the longest time and I can breathe once again!

Source: http://linktr.ee/lazycorgi

And I will also admit that, I probably wouldn’t feel so grateful for “America the beautiful” if it hadn’t been for my experience living abroad!

When I make my trips back to the US, I am so much more appreciative of…

Working in a coffee shop & Starbucks coffee

The idea of parking yourself in a coffee shop and working for hours is purely American. It’s rare to get away with that in Italy, except for maybe one or two shops that cater to the working tourist/digital nomad.

Even then, they play the game real well—pricey entry fees and still expensive coffee.

Starbucks ain’t cheap, but a $5 signature drink for unlimited hours of workspace and wifi? How can anyone complain.

Chocolate Cold Brew from Sbux

I spent a recent Saturday morning parked at a Starbucks in North Houston to work on an important project for my job. It was the perfect occasion to try the new Chocolate Cold Brew (thanks to Allie for bringing it to my attention on her blog!).

I wasn’t a super fan of the drink, but the fact that I could order something “crazy” like that off a menu with 20+ other off-the-wall concoctions? That is American freedom at its finest.

Also, I now crave American Starbucks whenever I am back on US soil. Who even am I? 😅

Stores like Sprouts and Whole Foods

This goes along with the above—innovation when it comes to food products is pleasantly insane in the US. I have always loved Sprouts and Whole Foods because of the plethora of items they have in the vegetarian and vegan space. Sure, the price tag can be on the hefty side for WF especially, but food has always been my treat.

If I had to pick between access to all the “authentic” Italian gelati, pizza, and pasta or Sprouts/WF visits, I’d be crazy to give up the latter!

My fave places lol

Anything but the metric system

Yes, I am a scientist, but Imperial is my comfort zone. In the lab, I can use metric all day long and not be bothered, but when I run, my distances are in miles. When I’m figuring out what to wear for the day, I can’t be bothered with Celcius. Give me Fahrenheit, baby 🔥 😂

I’ve been teased for my penchant of anything but metric, but how can you blame any American for that when it’s literally what we’ve grown up with? Changes don’t happen overnight. Jimmy Carter tried to “right our wrongs”, but the history books can tell you about that backlash. Now, I simply shrug my shoulders and say, “I’m not Google, can’t convert that for ya.” 😅

Love for running (and runners!)

When I met with a potential running coach based in Houston a few months back, I was telling him about how finding a group of runners in Milan has been unsuccessful for me, and how the “running culture” most of us are familiar with in the US just hasn’t seemed to permeate in Italy, to which he replied,

“So, they’re like how the US was 20 years ago?”

I couldn’t help but nod in agreement because it was (unfortunately) so true! Exercise and fitness in general seem to be more “trendy” in the US compared to Italy.

I love my solo runs, but I pine for the days I used to train with other passionate runners for the LA Marathon. It can be difficult to replicate that type of camaraderie elsewhere if there are barely any participants in the activity you love…

All the races I’ve run so far in 2022 have been in Texas. It honestly is a chore to navigate running culture and racing in Italy in comparison…

The art of negotiation

I’ve come to the realization that Italians really have a passion for the word “no” 😂. The firmness, the “no-I-can’t-do-anything-go-away” type attitude is infuriating, but also something I now chuckle to myself over. I’ve gotten into my share of arguments with US post office and DMV workers and the like, but at least these occasions had some level of reasoning and back-and-forth. In Italy, the language barrier doesn’t help, but even when I’ve had assistance from Italian speakers, I never got anywhere productive.

Either my “helpers” were too timid for the job, or the concept of negotiation simply does not exist…

A trip to a DMV in Texas a couple of months ago made me realize how good I’ve got it. Americans are always complaining about government offices, but compared to my experiences in Italy? It’s like night and day! Even if a headache is still part of the price to pay, there is always room for negotiation stateside.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

I will never shy away from being honest, especially on my own blog. When I was on IG, I kept this same sentiment, but did hold back at times in order not to “completely offend” expats/”lovers of Italy” I mutually followed. I wrote a post about opinions and how it’s healthy to listen and understand why one has a particular opinion. I normally recommend people to that link if they get a little upset about what I have to say 😏.

Being an expat is not always a fairy-tale adventure, but it can often help a lost soul find her purpose, even if it means looking back and being grateful for her roots. And I think this is what my current expat experience is doing for me…

Let’s Be Friends

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Making friends as an adult is HARD work, but to be honest, making friends as a kid was just as exhausting!

My Dad used to tell me that apparently I was quite popular in Pre-K in the UK. When we moved back stateside, I also remember being quite giggly and playful on the playgrounds of Oklahoma. I have no idea where those girls I made quick friends with are now, but being six and seven was pure heaven!

When we moved to California, things began to change in how my friendliness was perceived. My perky Oklahoma-grown personality was not received well by my judgey Californian classmates. The first seeds of self-doubt and “wanting to be liked” planted themselves within me, and boy, did they continue to grow from that point on…

While I wasn’t successful in building up the popularity I had in the UK and Oklahoma in California, as I got older, I thankfully had a peppy younger sister who prevented me from feeling completely like a loner…she gathered neighborhood kids, invited all sorts of fun gals to birthday parties and sleepovers, and never shied away from befriending the new kid in class.

But one day, puberty got a hold of her and the unabashed vulnerability she once had when meeting people was hammered away. In middle school, I learned about fake friendships, and faced first-hand how really mean girls could be. I was told to my face by two different girls in the 6th grade, “I don’t want to be your friend anymore”, out of nowhere.

Like, who does that and feels good about themselves?

So, great friendships were not a thing of middle or high school, given the circumstances. Thankfully, my sister’s early days of gathering neighborhood kids to play with us helped us forge a bond with our friend C, who I’ve known for 21 years now! But besides C, I wasn’t able to form any ever-lasting friendships throughout college. During my PhD, I became friends with E, a visiting scholar from Germany and a girl I had some crazy adventures around LA with, but when she went back to Germany in late 2017, I realized that becoming an adult means the definition of a friend changes.

While we desire for a friend to be someone we can be our true selves around, without pressure or judgement, I think in adulthood, the definition of a friend extends to “a warm, live being with a brain to accompany you for dinner”. At least, when you become an expat who’s traveled to a new country by herself.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Given the pandemic, a not-so-great work environment, and a recurrent battle with depression, my first 1.5 years in Italy did not offer ample opportunities to make friends. There were language exchanges and one-time meetings with other expat women I met through a local WhatsApp group, but nothing that led to substantial relationships. In recent months, I decided I would review my current approach and “experiment” with a different strategy, as any scientist would do 😉, and “report my findings”.

I was inspired to try one strategy in particular, after my sister reported her success in Austin, TX. She signed up for Bumble BFF for the purpose of finding a group of reliable, relatable girlfriends she could hang out with in the city. After about six months on the app, she ended up forging relationships with a solid group of three girls, and now they meet for book club, weekend get-togethers, and all of their partners are boy buds too!

Needless to say, I was inspired, but I also knew that Milan might not result in a similar outcome…it’s an international city, yes, but expats are fleeting beings—all the girls I met between 2020-2021 through the WhatsApp group I am a part of, I only met once. There is one girl, I think I met twice, but given I left IG, I don’t have her contact anymore 😬..

Still, I decided to give it a go, since I was back in Milan for the month of May. I started a Bumble BFF profile within the first few days of coming back. The first Monday I was back was a national holiday in Italy, and for some reason, I felt like I *needed* to have plans to avoid being “lonely” on the random holiday. So while I got started on the Bumble BFF app, I left a message on the tried-and-true WhatsApp group I am a part of:

I wasn’t met with crickets for once. In a matter of minutes, I was able to schedule a lunch with one girl AND a mini late coffee with another girl, the latter of which ended up being a party-of-three deal since another girl messaged me later asking if she could join! I didn’t click too much with the girl from lunch, but I spent a lovely three hours with the two ladies I met for coffee (at a trendy place in Navigli, Tenoha Coffee). We liked each other so much, that we ended up meeting for aperitivo later that week—with two other girls I met previously at separate times.

It was the first time I felt like I took initiative to organize a “girl’s night out” and succeeded.

Once matches on Bumble BFF began to roll in, I’d say I had fun “surveying the samples”. Let’s be real—70% of the profiles that popped up look like this, and major eye rolls ensued on my end, each time:

And talk about trying to plug oneself! The sheer number of profiles with IG handles and the excuse of “I don’t use Bumble a lot, hit me up on IG!” No honey, I do not want to follow you on Instagram…

Never met this girl but YASS, tell it like it is SIS. (Roughly translates to – “please stay away from those who are only looking for new followers on Instagram.”)

Still, I sifted through the cookie-cutter profiles and was able to match with some girls who were able to handle conversations, at first…

I found that I was always the one initiating meet-ups. The purpose of this app is to find and make friends, that you meet in real life. I had no desire to waste my time sending “hey”s back and forth, which some young ladies on the app seemed perfectly fine doing 🤷🏽‍♀️

Since I also went on a work trip to Geneva this past month, I was able to see new profiles as my location changed. The type of profiles I saw definitely changed from what I saw in Milan—there were a lot more North American expats, women in law or international-based positions, and a collectively “keen” interest to meet outdoors 😂

I obviously never met any Geneva-based ladies, but I was fascinated with comparing what I saw in Geneva with what I saw in Milan.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

Overall, I think the app works with finding friends that fit my “new definition”, but finding quality friends for life will definitely take time and work from both parties. Sure, I’ve met some really great ladies so far, but time will tell if these acquaintances will turn into solid friendships in the future.

In the meantime, I recommend that any expat woman (or woman living in a new city, for that matter) give Bumble BFF or similar networking apps a shot. Even scouting for the local WhatsApp or MeetUp group for women in the city increases your chances of finding someone you click with.

At least try, before complaining that it’s impossible to make friends as an adult 🙃

At the same time, I think we should keep in mind of the following in our “quest” for friends:

Go in with intention

Why do you want to meet new people? Is it more casual in the sense that you just want someone to accompany your for dinner or coffee? Or do you feel like it’s essential to spend quality time with quality people, doing activities that you have a common interest in?

For me, I’m not going to waste time with girls who are purely searching for a buddy to take IG pics with, pretending to have fun. While my “runner gal pal with a dog and penchant for coffee and vegan food” has yet to be found, my intention with using these types of apps is to build potential friendships with like-minded people. To build a mini support system of sorts in a foreign land…

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but three strikes, you’re out

The thing about putting yourself out there and initiating things is, you learn how to spot flaky people, very quickly. And there will always be flakes. Despite the numerous occasions in my life I’ve been notified last minute with “I’m sooooooo sorry! Something came up at work!” or “Hey! I feel really bad but I can’t make it today…”, I still find myself giving people a chance (honestly, I thought flakiness was a Californian thing…it’s prevalent in Milan too, unfortunately).

First time it doesn’t work out, no worries. Second time, alright, but it better be a good reason, and after the third time? If there’s still an excuse, I’m done. At that point, it’s clear someone doesn’t want to make the effort, so why waste my time? It sounds like a harsh approach, but it saves so much headache in the long run.

Unfortunately, I encountered a few of these girls on the app this month. Some of these girls who had given me excuses multiple times even had the gall to shoot a “hey” message, out of the blue, with no follow-up.

So, do you want to meet-up? Do you want to get a coffee and use this app for the reason it was intended? No? Bye.

When you make plans with someone, prioritize it like a job interview

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone agrees to meet at a specific day and time, does not follow-up at all, and literally five minutes before the planned meeting time, they pop in with a message saying, “Hey! I’m sorry something came up!” or “Oh my gosh, I’m really sorry but I’m running 1 hour late”.

Seriously? No.

Sure, emergencies pop up. Things out of our control take precedence, but if it happens all the time with the same person? It’s definitely a huge red flag for me. If someone can’t be respectful of your time, how can they be respectful of anything else?

If you’re not vibing, it’s okay to stop trying to make it work

This is something I’ve recently had to embrace, given that I always try to please people and prevent hurt feelings. But sometimes, someone can be “triggering” through their actions or personality, and it’s okay to walk away from that if it means prioritizing your mental health.

I’ve walked away from flakes, people addicted to their phones, people who expect you to listen to them the entire time, only to look bored when it’s your turn to talk…

That’s rude, and simply not ideal for a friendship.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

After what has felt like an incredibly long month in Milan, I’m glad I went through with this “experiment” of mine. I met some girls I hope I can meet again when I return, and I also quickly learned that life is too short to spend on people who can’t give you what you need, relatively speaking.

Peace out to all the flakes and fakes. Time is just as precious as money, and I’d rather spend it with real ones.

For my next month in Houston, I plan to use the app to try and meet with local lady runners. I’ve found absolutely zero (women) athletes on Bumble BFF in Milan…let’s see how Houston fares 🤣

BONUS POST – Curious about how Bumble Date looks from Milan, Italy? My time on that version of the app was short-lived (thankfully!), but what I saw in July 2020 was quite interesting…click here for a good LOL.

Bumble Date in Milan, Italy: Come Here for a Laugh

Reading Time: 4 minutes

The first time I “stepped into the world of dating” was soon after my PhD graduation in Los Angeles. It was short-lived, but my first time using a dating app—Bumble.

Bumble seemed to have a decent reputation, since women get to make the “first move”. Tinder terrified me due to the reputation it had, so I made the wise choice and stayed away.

But Bumble in LA didn’t go anywhere, because I began to have doubts, and decided I wasn’t ready. I was also still trying to make Italy work out, and knew that if that was in my future, starting something in LA wouldn’t make sense.

So, once “Lockdown One” was out of the way and I was settled in Milan, I braced myself for a new adventure…

Luckily, I didn’t have to spend too long or waste too much time, but I caught a few screenshots that were too hilarious not to share.

Sometimes dating isn’t scary or frustrating, it’s low-key this-got-me-rolling-on-the-floor-LAUGHING.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

After things initially opened up post-Lockdown One, it was no surprise that Bumble was flooded with people.

Is that the reason why literally every other guy in the line-up was named Stefano? 🤔

BUT WHY STEFANO THOUGH?

Now I feel like doing a historical deep dive to analyze why women who had children in the late 80s/early 90s were so fond of the name Stefano 😂

And if not Stefano, then Luca…

In case you didn’t catch it, Luca is into traveling.

Curt Luca was a gem:

After he said “no”, our conversation died 🔥.

While Stefano and Luca are quite common in Italy, not so sure about these ones…

Febreeze here think he’s gonna find Swifer? Ma lookin’ for a female Pa? What is with these guys? 😅

Girls aren’t the only ones plugging their socials on here…guys do it too, on top of adding some emoji flare to their bios and showing off their “command of English” 😅

I am in police omg I can’t…

There are also ambitious guys with no sense of creativity:

I will admit, I got tired of the constant travel pics and half-naked gym bro poses, but at the same time, this guy’s “unique” pic caught me off guard 🪒 …

Who thinks mid-shave, “what a perfect opportunity for a selfie?”

Speaking of “out of the box”, this dude hit it out of the park—like what?!

I saw this dude and was like NOPE. This is straight up animal abuse and exploitation of endangered animals. STEER CLEAR.

And for the *GRAND* finale, we’ve got ourselves a classic creep!

Obviously I had no interest in his creepy request, and reported him immediately. Actually, this goes back to my point of intention that I made in my post about making friends—don’t lose track of what your goals are, and don’t lead someone on. In this case, if this guy wanted to “just do some sexting” all along, why did he waste my time pretending to care about how I spent my weekend? Etiquette guys, etiquette.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

My heart goes out to anyone who has felt frustrated and hopeless by the world of dating. It really is a mixed bag out there, but having the right attitude goes a long way…sometimes, it may even make your search last shorter than expected 😉. And don’t forget to step back and have a good laugh—a good laugh at us crazy humans doing crazy things trying to impress one another in the name of love 😂.

Icons made by Good Ware from www.flaticon.com