A Lazy Girl’s Guide to Kauai

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Back in August, my sister and I traveled to Hawaii for the very first time. Our island selection was purely based on which was cheapest to fly into on our selected dates from Austin, Texas—travel planning at its finest 😂.

Lucky for us, one of Hawaii’s most beautiful islands—Kauai—was the “cheap” one to fly into from the bunch. When I started sharing our travel plans with others, everyone who had been could not stop commenting on the jungle lure and true South Pacific vibes this particular island had to offer.

Even with the hype, my sister and I still waited until a few days before to finalize our itinerary, and given the nature of my job at the time, I was remote working for part of the trip. Despite all of this, we had no complaints, but there were moments I couldn’t help but mock regarding our so-called “vacation life”.

Read on as I poke fun at our adventures, as “lazy girls in Hawaii” 🤙

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Rent a car under your name, but have your sister drive you around because you get “chronic headaches” and super sleepy after meals. I am the worst traveler in that my body malfunctions and/or shuts down during travel. I used to be able to knock-out on planes as a kid, but the smaller seats and barbarians who like to recline their seat way too far prevent me from accumulating precious sleep hours. Instead, I arrive to my destination with jet-lag induced headaches super hungry, and upon eating my first meal, I can feel my eyes start to droop. Definitely not safe if you need to drive around, so thank goodness for my travel partner sister, lol.

Participate in Kauai Humane Society’s dog field trip program by selecting the oldest, least energetic dog, only to have him pee on your beach umbrella. In my defense, I wanted to take out their cattle dog. but he got snatched up right away. I also didn’t want to push it since my energy levels were pretty low after a long day spent at the beach, fully exposed to all the UV, the day before. Brockstein seemed great for a while…until I decided to take a break in the water and leave him with my sister for ten minutes. Of course he had to relieve himself on the beach umbrella and our only towel, of course…

Nah, but he was a sweet soul. It pains me every time I see a senior dog at the shelter, knowing that the likelihood of them being adopted and living their final years in a home with a loving family is statistically low :/. Out of all the things we did in Kauai, I highly recommend incorporating this into your itinerary.

Stock up on local snacks to save money and take a break from the few vegan-friendly places on the entire island. The one thing I did do research on prior to our trip was the vegan foodie scene. Kauai does have a couple of intriguing vegan cafes and restaurants. Our favorite ended up being The Spot close to where we were staying (Princeville), which offered all sorts of intriguing foods and drinks, including an acai bowl that was drenched with macadamia butter—my sister loved that.

When our wallets needed a break, we trekked to some of the local markets and kept an eye out for snacks in the $2-3 range (that’s cheap by Hawaiian standards). These Noms snacks and of course, Hawaiian Host chocolates featuring macadamia, were sensible choices.

Use work meetings as an excuse to have your sister get breakfast for you—hey, give her your credit card cause she’s not your maid! I was in contract-role that prevented me from taking a paid vacation during the time of our Kauai vacation, so I decided to work the days we were there so that I could fund the vacation 😂. To me this isn’t a bizarre concept, being a millennial professional who has lived through the COVID-era. I wasn’t hula hooping over the fact I had to be up at 5am to attend meetings, but at least I finished at 1pm local time, and that gave us plenty of time to vacation. It’s all about balance, ya’ll.

Let your sister shop to her heart’s content because you’d rather take a nap in the car. My sister is a shopper, I am not. All of her friends far and wide were gifted with trinkets from our travels. Most of my friends didn’t even realize I was in Hawaii until it popped up on their social media. If I don’t even know what I want for myself, how could I begin to figure out gifts for others? Instead, I entertained myself with naps in the car and taking on the title of chicken anthropologist—the Hawaiian kind are worthy of their own reality show.

Make at least one day a dedicated beach day so you can have your mandatory summer vacation pics for Insta. This summer, I wore a swimsuit four times. I can’t even recall the last time I had a summer where I wore a swimsuit more than once…given that I am an August baby, I know that’s pitiful. At least I wore my swimsuit in Hawaii twice, and it took an incredible amount of effort to do just that. My sister was a great photographer, and I paid the favor back. Now we have proof that we vacationed in Hawaii, even if it is “basic”.

If you have to chase down a beach umbrella blowing in the wind at Poipu, it will look comical AF so make sure your sister has her camera out to capture the ridiculousness of it all. Poipu is an oft-cited, well-known area of Kauai, but it wasn’t our favorite. It was too far south from where we stayed in Princeville (we found North Shore in general to be more our vibe, and Hanalei was our favorite beach). We chose to not go for a swim that day, but to lounge with a beach umbrella sans doggo.

If you’re into surfing and high tides, Poipu is definitely more your style. There were a lot of swimmers and surfers hangin’ ten and it honestly looked like a lot of fun. Unfortunately for us this meant a lot of wind, and at one point, our beach umbrella was literally ripped from the sand, tumbling through the air. After having run a speed workout that morning, my legs were incredibly sore, yet I pushed (as well as tripped and plodded like a buffoon) towards the umbrella hoping to grab it before it stabbed someone in the eye. Luckily I got it, but I wish I had a video to share. By the end of it I was laughing while also trying not to collapse—it was too hilarious a sight.

Don’t see any sea turtles (honu) even though everyone says you will. Stalk chickens instead. I didn’t see any turtles (except for one that looked beached at Poipu 😬), but I did see ALL the chickens and as I stated earlier, their lives are WILD.

If you start to miss Texas by Day 4, don’t worry, you are not going crazy. You just thought you would be able to escape humidity for a bit but the Garden Island laughed in your face. While the intermittent rain was refreshing, the stabbing heat and humidity that followed right after was not. Running through said heat and humidity was something I was accustomed to coming from Texas, but it was also something I was trying to escape from, LOL.

Do not go hiking at Ho’opi’i Falls. It will not take 20 minutes and you will not be amused by the guava on the forest floor. Why is it every time I go hiking with a family member or close friend, it is always a disaster 😂? Someone didn’t bring water, someone didn’t wear the right shoes, someone is too tired…okay, a lot of the times it’s me 😅, but I like to thank running for my endurance/fitness, both physically and mentally.

In addition to a beach day, my sister and I wanted to check off at least one waterfall hike, and Ho’opi’i sounded reasonable. Unfortunately it wasn’t, as the paths were wet and muddy from the morning rain, and the trail (despite being supposedly walked upon by locals and tourists alike) was difficult to decipher. As we motioned further and further into the “jungle”, every time we would spot someone heading back we would ask them how long it took to get to the falls. “Ummm, twenty minutes?”. Perhaps the next “influencer” who makes a trip to Kauai can make a reel about this: how long does it really take to get to Ho’opi’i Falls?

Eventually we made it, and absolutely captured it on camera.

Don’t be surprised if you are sick for two solid weeks post-vacation, eye infection included. This is literally what happened to us. Within a day from returning, my sister and I had varied symptoms for what we could only conclude to be some type of flu. I had intermittent fevers, and eventually a cough/sinus problems for about a total of two weeks post-trip. We were COVID negative, but the weird part was the eye infection that my sister developed at the tail-end of her sickness ordeal. So, be prepared for any tropical bugs, I guess?

And last, but not least, watch me whip and watch me NENE!! If anyone gets the reference, you are a true millennial, but nene are in fact Hawaii’s national bird! It was a gorgeous sight to see them on my runs, relaxed on their land, against the backdrop of lush green and bright blue.

Would you be a “lazy girl” in Kauai or more adventurous 🐢?