second gen desi blog – Page 5 – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

Reading Time: 7 minutes

It’s late June as I start writing this post, and I have now been to more places in Italy (and even Switzerland!) since I last complained about lockdowns 😅

After Bellagio, I took a little break from day trips to reconvene and figure out what to do next. I knew June 2nd was coming up and since it was a holiday in Italy, I would have the day off and definitely wanted to dedicate it to a day trip.

The day ended up being dedicated to Bologna, a story for another day, but before and after Bologna, I was able to still venture out and feed my exploratory cravings.

The convenient thing about having your “home base” be north central Italy is that travel by car or by train to nearby locales isn’t too arduous (as long as we clarify the definition of nearby). Day trips could even just be afternoon trips, depending on what you want to see and how much energy you have 😅.

I took two such “afternoon” trips from Como with my boyfriend, and thanks to his car, we were able to start our “trips” as late as 3pm and get back around 6 or 7pm! It is completely doable to see the best of Monza, Italy and Lugano, Switzerland within a few hours.

💛 Monza, Italy 💛

Technically, if I had left for Monza from North Milan, it would have only taken a handful of minutes by public transit versus an almost hour drive from Como. But I thought spending a sunny Sunday afternoon outside with my boyfriend scootering around a new city sounded a whole lot better than walking around alone.

Como to Monza – a little under an hour by car

Trying to find a parking spot near Parco di Monza brought on a minor headache, but we found a spot in a residential area that was actually alongside a walking path. Once we got the scooters out, we blasted onto the path and made our way toward the prime destination of the “city”.

It didn’t take us long to run into a swarm of locals and tourists in front of Villa Reale di Monza. We eventually had to get off our scooters and walk amongst the crowds, so we decided to go inside the courtyard to get a closer look.

I think under normal circumstances, you can go inside the palace for exhibitions and shows, but it seemed as though plenty of people were happy enough with just strolling outside and soaking in post-lockdown sunshine.

After I got my share of pics, we proceeded to the park, where it turned immensely cool temperature-wise thanks to the towering trees and their overgrown leaves—it was literally a forest.

And while it was lovely to see (and feel) such cool, green scenery, it made for awfully bumpy paths that were not friendly to the scooters 😅. Still, it wasn’t too long before we reached friendlier roads.

Even though I was scootering with the BF, I imagined that this park would be the perfect place for mid-distance or even long runs. I think from top-to-bottom it is about 3 miles, so loops would definitely need to be considered!

But is that such a mundane thing if said loops included loops around Azienda Agricola Mulino San Giorgio ?

Basically, animal heaven??

I basically came to a screeching halt when I saw the donkeys.

Being the huge animal lover that I am, I immediately parked my scooter and ran over to where every munchkin under ten years old was lined up petting the donkeys. I wanted to join in on the fun too 😂!

I picked the least-friendly donkey to (try to) pet. Still, my heart was full 🧡.

And it overflowed once I realize we were at the border of what looked to be a petting zoo! We took a detour, and I got my fill of cows, pigs, goats, baby horses, chickens, ducks, rabbits…

It was difficult to pull myself away from these beautiful creatures, but the boy and I headed onwards to the furthest we could go on the path. A couple years ago, I remember watching the documentary Breaking2, which documented the journey of marathon’s running elite to break two hours in the marathon. The special race was apparently held at the Monza racetrack, which is at the north end of the park!

I thought we would be able to come across it (and perhaps enter to take a look on the inside…stepping on the same path that Kipchoge, Tadese and Desisa raced on), but unfortunately it was fenced off. And by the time we reached it, we realized the park was going to close soon—at a relatively early time for Italians, 7pm!

Getting back to the car was an easy endeavor. Once we were out of the park, we were able to directly get back on the path we took at the start. We could have taken a detour into the city center, but I was close to empty energy-wise, and I figured the city center wasn’t exactly as much of a “must-see” as Parco di Monza was.

Villa Reale di Monza is very gorgeous though!

💛 Lugano, Switzerland 💛

Driving up to Switzerland from Como is actually shorter in comparison to driving to Monza. It seems counter-intuitive…driving to another country takes less time? 😂. Technically, I suppose it takes around the same time, but driving up on the weekends eliminates the traffic brought on by Italians driving across the border to get to work!

Once you get past border control (which isn’t a big deal, they normally stop cars at random), the drive becomes more beautiful. At one point, you have to take a bridge over Lake Lugano which offers some gorgeous views. Don’t have any here for ya, but once parked and in the city center, the view is just as good, if not better.

Right next to this view is the entrance to Parco Ciani, a beautifully groomed park with a winding path and sights all-around.

This statue is an entire MOOD, and often mine 😂:

Quick search on Google indicates its Socrates…

Further along the path, there was a wooden deck area where, apparently, swans like to take rest or swim near. I was looking forward to the sight, but only saw too many half-naked humans…pity.

Away from the water, the temperature started to feel a lot warmer and unbearable. It was, the middle of June after all. After a certain point, the streets begin to look monotonous and empty, and that’s probably because Lugano is more active during the work week.

Some buildings still kept their charm though.

Tesla even managed to squeeeeeze into the aesthetic, and not the other way around.

I learned that they had to knock down the wall on the side of the building just to put a Tesla inside, and then rebuild it back up again! For test drives, they have a single red car parked in the back 😂.

Closer to the city center, there were more buildings to marvel at and photograph:

A bar for dogs! Wasn’t as popular as one would think!

All of this was seen and covered by foot within two hours! Of course if you want to make time for aperitivo and swimming and gelato and shopping, you could easily spend a full day here.

But, even though I was tempted by this *pricey* Subway offer, I was content with having dinner at home, after a pleasantly exhausting afternoon of travel!

Remember $5 footlong meals? Non-existent. Double for a half sandwich and a drink and cookie 😧

Are you a fan of short day trips or even afternoon trips?

Reading Time: 7 minutes

As a scientist with two years after her PhD training complete, I’ve realized time and time again the importance of effective scientific communication. I find value in reviewing the work of fellow colleagues and presenting it to an audience who has yet to be introduced to new findings.

I’ve mentioned before in previous “science-based” posts on this blog that science shouldn’t be intimidating, but oftentimes it comes across that way because many scientists are used to speaking with their peers. After years and years of school, training, and specialized research, technical terms become a part of one’s everyday jargon in the scientific research field.

So when I see scientific communicators like Bill Bryson—or in this post’s case, Dr. Sarah McKay—publish works meant for a general audience, I’m enthusiastic about reading them from a critical scientist’s point of view, and featuring them on this blog to pique your interest.

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The reason McKay’s book, The Women’s Brain Book, came across my (virtual) desk was because a fellow woman in STEM, Dr. Anjali Kasunich, and I connected on Instagram to form a “nerdy science girls” book club of sorts, because of our shared passion for disseminating topics in science for the general public. Anjali and I both thought TWBB would be a fascinating read for our inaugural IG Live book club series since it was expected to contain a hefty collection of peer-reviewed studies, simmered down to simplicity, in relation to a woman’s hormonal health and her brain.

TWBB has a chronological order to its chapters, with the book spanning over how a woman’s brain is formed, conditioned, influenced, and changed throughout all of life’s stages. Major external factors like the environment in which we grow up in, and the social connections we make, have a crucial impact on our general brain health as well.

Depending on your level of interest in a specific life stage and how it affects the woman’s brain, it’s easy to jump from one section to the other in the book without feeling incredibly lost. I decided to read the book in the “traditional” way, and while my background as a scientist made me familiar with some of the studies and concepts Dr. McKay mentions throughout the book, I found at least four key takeaways from the book that I thought were worth mentioning:

1. We are to be female, unless SRY has its way

My sub-heading title is not to be taken literally, but it refers to some interesting observations…

In the very first chapter of TWBB, McKay addresses an important detail – female brain development technically doesn’t take place right at conception, and its progression is based on whether or not the Y chromosome is present. If we define (in this context) a biological female as having two X chromosomes, and a biological male as having one X and Y chromosome, we can then understand why the presence of these chromosomes is life-changing.

McKay notes that when XY embryos are 6-8 weeks old, a gene known as the “sex-determining region of the Y chromosome” (SRY) is turned on. SRY allows for the development of the testes, as well as turns on several more genes that guide in other “male-associated” biological processes. Without the Y chromosome however, SRY and it’s associated genes remain off, and we become female!

I would have thought that if SRY has such a powerful role in male development, a similar gene would have a role in females, but that is not the case. I also found it interesting that while the presence of androgens (the family of male hormones that includes testosterone) turns on genes that involve the development of male organs and physical characteristics, the female hormone estrogen doesn’t have such a role in “feminization”. In fact, ovaries develop in the absence of testosterone.

We are conditioned to think that if A=Male, then B=Female, but perhaps we should think of it more like 0+A=Male and 0=Female. Nature prefers us to be female unless otherwise noted 😜.

2. Nature and nurture are equally important in brain development

Growing up in California, I remember seeing ads on TV—and later billboards, buses, and the metro when I moved to Los Angeles for grad school—for the First 5 California campaign, which emphasizes the importance of the first five years in a child’s life in regards to cognitive, physical, and emotional development.

In TWBB, McKay provides examples for which natural disasters could impact this development. One such example was an event that took place in Montreal in the late 90s. An ice storm left the city without power for 45 days, and researchers took it upon themselves to monitor women who were pregnant at that time to see how the development of their children was affected for years to come.

Understandably, the “Project Ice Storm” babies were born prematurely, and this also correlated to timing of a woman’s pregnancy (very early and very late stage pregnant women tended to have premature births). When the babies became toddlers, they not only had cognitive and language developmental delays, but attention deficits and behavioral problems as well. “Ice Storm Girls” had increased risk of puberty, obesity, and asthma, but interestingly, “Ice Storm Boys” tended to have more serious problems compared to the girls, and researchers hypothesize that this may be due to the fact that the female placenta is a more protective barrier against maternal stress hormones. While we can’t control the presence and timing of natural disasters, this study seems to demonstrate that external factors that impact a pregnant woman’s well-being can lead to striking outcomes in the development of her unborn children…

3. Hormone sensitivity and depression

I have struggled with depression as early as 18, but over the years, I have noticed that while it may be underlyingly chronic, there are certain periods in my life when the condition feels “stronger” than others. If I am to line up all the variables that could be involved, I automatically consider external factors contributing to stress, hormone fluctuations, and diet (quality and quantity of food, in addition to vitamin supplementation).

So I was certainly interested to see what sources McKay collected in regards to premenstural syndrome/ premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMS/PMDD. I am highly convinced that during a very stressful period of my life in late 2018 (the fourth year of my PhD, prior to the publication of my first paper…you can imagine), I was suffering from all symptoms associated with PMDD.

Some researchers have suggested that PMS is something that has developed out of social context, meant to “put down the woman” as a reason for her “inability” to perform activities. At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about this because the way I see it, it is good to have a medical reason to explain why you feel certain symptoms at certain times of the month. Of course, each woman has a unique experience—unique symptoms, unique timings, you name it. I often found that in my situation, I had non-stop irritability, mood swings, intense bouts of crying, and physical issues like fatigue, sleepiness, and bloating that went on for half the month, only to quiet down around my period, but rise back up again within a few days after my period ended.

So, I did have these crazy symptoms, but sometimes it felt like I was under nature’s wrath for almost the entire month, or sometimes only in the two weeks before and after my period. Confusing in an understatement 🤷🏽‍♀️.

McKay’s note about a 2013 Canadian study titled “Mood in Daily Life (MiDL)” was able to find that in a cohort of women who were asked about their PMS-associated symptoms—without knowing they were being asked about PMS—there was no significant correlation that PMS phase influenced mood. The researchers suggested that the symptoms were more influenced by factors in a woman’s life that were external, like lack of social support, environmental stress, or poor health.

While this could be, I was relieved to see McKay included a note by Jayashri Kulkarni, a researcher who supports the study of endocrinology to understand what causes PMS. And when she said that “women may differ in their sensitivity to hormones, perhaps via genetic variations in receptor structure or number”, I wanted to stand up and scream RIGHT???? THANK YOU 😂! I’m sure some kind of specialized hormone profiling for women at different phases of their menstural cycle could bring SO much more insight into caring for unique sets of symptoms. And given that my family does have a (maternal) history of mental illness, I can’t help but hypothesize that my genetic make-up influences how reactive I am to the hormones in my body, and how that in turn can influence how I feel.

4. Estrogen’s importance in late life

Even though estrogen doesn’t seem to be “so important” in utero, we can see it has tremendous effects on our well-being as we get older. McKay noted several points about estrogen throughout the book, including the point that high levels of the hormone in young, fertile women are thought to lower schizophrenia risk (although, context is needed to clarify what is considered “high”), and that low levels of estrogen could exacerbate PMDD.

In the latter half of the book, McKay touches upon menopause, and how estrogen and glucose are essential players in menopausal outcomes. The brain’s main fuel source is glucose, and it is a greedy little organ consuming 20% of our resting metabolic rate (RMR). McKay mentions an interesting observation that women who’ve had their ovaries removed before menopause experience a critical drop in estrogen, and that this drop is associated with increased type 2 diabetes risk. This risk is similar in women after they experience menopause naturally, suggesting that estrogen may have an essential role in regulating glucose metabolism and lowering diabetes risk.

While we can’t fight nature on certain processes like menopause (although solutions like hormone replacement therapy are available, with McKay going into detail on that in the book as well), it’s eye-opening to see how such tiny molecules have an incredible impact on our metabolic processes and in turn, our physical outcomes and well-being. All the more reason to take care of ourselves as much as possible!

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McKay has done an incredible job compiling what is known about the field in regards to women’s health and the brain, but as she points out time and time again, there is still so much more that can be done to understand a woman’s biology and its impacts on her brain health.

Recently, the NIH and other research funding bodies have stressed the importance of including male and female subjects in future research projects—especially if you have any hope of wanting to have your research funded in the future. This is a great step in the right direction, but there is no doubt we have a lot of catching up to do, as well as needing to put in energy to shift the current social construct of how women’s health is perceived.

If you’ve ever been curious about what we know so far about women’s health and the brain, TWBB is certainly a resource for anyone in this regard, whether you have an extensive science background or not!

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Before the COVID crisis took over, I took the privilege of travel for granted. Looking back, I was lucky to have opportunites to travel both domestically (within the US) and internationally, solo or with family.

Since moving to Italy, I have yet to go beyond Lombardia’s borders. Even within Lombardia, I’ve only really “visited” Milan and Como.

And coming from LA, it didn’t take too long to master these cities 😉

As much as my solo trip to Sweden in the summer of 2019 was indeed lonely, I am still awestruck by the fact that I completed a 10-day trip-for-one, despite the many moments of ennui I experienced.

My trip started in Stockholm, followed by stops in Gothenburg, Malmo, and Copenhagen. Although the latter of the cities is technically in Denmark, it happened to be my most favorite part of the trip.

I documented my Swedish & Copenhagen adventures on a former blog before I decided to close it down for Second Gen Desi. But with COVID still around and with it still influencing our current travel policies, I decided to dig through my archives and find my old travel posts so that I could try to relive the memories.

Since I was unable to copy over the text, we’ll have to settle for these screenshots, and you’ll have to forgive me for the small, poor photo quality 😅.

Still, I’m glad I took the time to type out a recap of my trip, even if it was three months after I returned 😅😅.

Hard to believe there was a time of crowds and flurry at the peak of summer. I can only imagine what Italy was like in the summer of 2019, and I wonder if we can ever get back to that type of traveling lifestyle ever again…

As for Sweden, I don’t have much of a desire to return for leisure, but I have heard amazing things about Norway and Finland…but to be honest, I’d be happy just to make it out of Lombardia for my travel plans this year 😉

Reading Time: 8 minutes

It’s been seven months of living in Milan, and I think I’ve had plenty of pasta and pizza to satisfy my authentic Italian cuisine checklist.

What I truly miss are foods that are “sacrilegious” here, like pineapple pizza or bagel breakfast sandwiches made with eggs and cheese.

Not exactly my vegan favorites, but man do I miss the plethora of vegan options that were in Los Angeles...

Back when I ran a food-focused, lifestyle blog (Will Study for Food), I made it a priority to check out restaurants and write full reviews on them. It was something I truly enjoyed, and while I never got to an extreme level of “food influencer”, I was able to connect with local restaurants from time-to-time to participate in tastings, or review products from food companies that got in contact with me.

But I soon grew tired of constantly posting about food. My blog post format was starting to get repetitive because seriously, there’s only so many ways you can be creative when it comes to writing food reviews 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Since starting Second Gen Desi and moving abroad, I have started to miss my food blogging days, but here in Milan, I wasn’t in the mood to take pictures of every caffè or brioche I stumbled upon.

But since coming here, I realized it would be fun to at least try foods from local restaurants that I could group into a “category” for a later blog posts.

I thought that it could perhaps provide some fun during these dreary times, and especially help restaurants survive via the delivery services I started to use on the daily 😅

So with this in mind, I scoured the land for whatever vegan restaurants I could find. One I had the chance to dine-in at, twice, in the summer before everything went COVID-crazy again.

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So if you are vegan in Milan and are struggling with options, or you’re somewhere else in the world and find it unbelievable that the land of formaggio and proscuitto even has vegan options, scroll on down to see what I ended up finding 👇🏽!

1 ) Flower Burger (dine-in, Porta Venezia location)

I knew of Flower Burger even before coming to Italy, when I still participated in the food blogging-charade and stumbled across someone’s IG post featuring a plate of colorful vegan burgers. I remember saving the post under a file where I archived any intriguing restaurants outside of the US—in case I ever happened to travel to a particular country, I was ready with my “where-to-chow-down” list.

It’s amusing that I ended up eventually visiting Flower Burger, twice!

My second visit was in early September, on a weekday evening after work. I came prepared to order in Italian and not use my Bank of America credit card (not that using that particular card was a bad thing, but it was a dead-giveaway to the cashier that I was not an Italian native and a give-away that I was not a native Italian speaker…)

In this visit, I was successful in ordering an Ocean Burger—their special edition burger outfitted in a bright teal bun, sandwiching some good fixin’s including lettuce, tomatoes, guacamole, a thick quinoa patty, and a mayo-type sauce called “beach sauce”.

The burger came paired with patate savory (potato wedges), but I didn’t think to ask for an extra order of sauce.

This is something I’ve realized about Italians—they skimp when it comes to saucing their carbs!

Besides the “dry” potato situation, Flower Burger’s burgers were, in my mind, the go-to for vegan burgers in all of Milano.

That is, until lockdowns happened again in late October, and I discovered a new guy in town…

2) Black Out Burgers by Avo Brothers

I was scrolling through Deliveroo, an app that has gotten me through Italy’s oscillating restrictions, in early November when I first spotted BOB.

Unlike Flower Burger, they didn’t seem to have a brick-and-mortar store nor was their entire menu vegan-friendly. What made some of their selections vegan-friendly was using Beyond Burger in their “normal” dishes, but it was something else that made my eyes pop:

Britney’s No Chicken Burger

I was able to save a *bit* of money by making it a meal, getting some sweet potato fries on the side, TWO sauce cups, and a can of ice cold acqua frizzante.

The bag it came in helped me figure out why my burger was Britney’s (like, Britney Spears?)

Wowwww, oh wow—this meal was demanding to compete with what Flower Burger had to offer. The fries were incredibly sweet and earthy, and I made a wise choice by getting BBQ sauce and paprika mayo on the side for dipping. I was also able to request plant-based cheddar for the burger, the patty of which was incredibly crispy.

Anyone who says they can’t stand veggie/vegan burgers because they taste awful, and that they prefer the “real thing”, needs to try this. And be proved wrong.

From that point on, I ordered least one meal from BOB each week, usually on Monday nights since it served as a good pick-me-up for having to start a new work week.

I even raved about BOB on a vegan and vegetarian’s group chat I’m a part of with other expat women in the city 😂:

I gave BOB excellent reviews for quite a while after my first order, but when they made an egregious error regarding the last order I placed with them, that tampered with my trust.

Due to an order mix-up, I opened my bag to find a lovely beefy burger, and I decided to call it quits. Thankfully I caught it, but I was put-off from their lack of integrity and awareness for the customer.

I guess it was good while it lasted.

3) Avo Brothers

During my BOB obsession, I did take a break and order from the OG Avo Brothers.

Their menu had refreshing options like salads, bowls, and (vegan) desserts!

I opted for the Lolita Bowl, which wasn’t exactly vegan due to the halloumi cheese (which could always be taken out), but I went for it as is, keeping it vegetarian with the cheese.

I can see why it’s one of their most popular bowls (it says so on Deliveroo). It’s packed with spinach, avocado, purple cabbage, tomatoes, squash, beet hummus, and sunflower seeds 🤩

As far as the guilt-free brownie though….if I had known it would be so soft, chewy, and flavorful, I would have ordered at least….three? 🤣

4) Soulgreen

Soulgreen seems to be well-known by vegan expats here (at least based on the one chat group I’m in…), but from all of the times I’ve ordered from here, I haven’t been able to get away from the Falafel Wrap.

It’s an unassuming dish, with no fancy fillings, but it’s one of my favorites. Since it comes with potato wedges and ketchup (finally, a place in Milan that understands that some sort of condiment is essential when it comes to potato wedges and the sort 🙌🏽).

I’m used to falafel wraps with thick tahini-based sauces, but I was surprised by how the consistency was much like plain yogurt (very runny, and too runny for my liking).

I also wasn’t able to confirm if the sauce was dairy-free, so this ingredient might make this particular dish vegetarian rather than vegan.

5) MACHAPOKE

I was surprised to learn that sushi is incredibly popular in Milan, and in line with that, poke.

In LA, I always ended up doing a create-your-own type bowl if I ended up at a poke shop, so I could avoid the fish and get more of the other, better stuff 😉.

I was pleased to see that many of the poke shops on food delivery apps like Deliveroo offer vegetarian or even vegan bowls, and MACHAPOKE’s version is one of my favorites.

Their specific Vegan Poke bowl is so eye-catching—with a quinoa base, vegan burger balls (that actually look like falafel), avocado, broccoli, carrot, chickpeas, sunflower seeds, squash, and flaxseeds.

They threw in some chopsticks, soy sauce, and ginger, even though the bowl didn’t need it 😂. It was a struggle trying to get the last bits of quinoa with chopsticks, let me tell ya…

They also offer a vegan cheesecake, but since 75% of it is bland, it’s not worth a re-order. I didn’t expect the matcha layer to be too sweet, but I was hoping the middle layer would have been better in the sweet department (far from it). The bottom graham crust layer was the only part that was decent. Wish there had been more of that and not just like, 25%…

6) Cibo Vegan Food

Ah, Cibo Vegan Food—probably the most bland vegan outlet in all of Milan, and one of the priciest.

Due to a technical error on one weeknight, Deliveroo offered those who tried to place an order that evening a 5 euros off promo code to “make things right again”.

With that in hand, I could “splurge” a little and see if Cibo was worthy any hype.

Their menu was headache-inducing due to the Italian I had to comprehend after a long work day, but I ended up getting their vegan paella, a “cake” slice with pears and ginger, and “arancino di cereali misti”.

When my food arrived, I could tell not much work went into the packaging. I think the assumption that vegan places tend to be environmentally-friendly is an assumption gone awry…

Everything was double-wrapped in plastic

The vegan paella was nothing special—just flavored rice with bite-size pieces of tofu and tempeh mixed in.

The “arancino” reminded me of a bland falafel—not even the “soy” sauce (basically hummus) could help it out of the flavorless black hole!

Oh, and the excuse-for-a-dessert that was the pere e zenzero cake slice. It could have been sweeter is an understatement…it needed to be dipped into a pool of sugar 😂

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Just like it’s possible to live in Los Angeles without a car, it’s possible to eat vegan in Milan, if that’s what you truly want! LA has far more options, but for a city in a traditional country with (ridiculous) food rules, the options that are available in Milan are decent.

Perhaps when these lockdowns ease down 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 I’ll be more motivated to see what else I can find…

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Running has been a serious part of my life for about nine years—it has evolved from checking off races and writing recaps, to focusing on my training and trying to adopt the stance of an athlete. It’s hard to believe that the last race I ran took place almost two years ago, but that was a break I absolutely needed.

As I write up this reflection, I’m seeing how much of an impact running has had on my physical and mental health in the last decade. There’s so much more I want to accomplish in this sport, and I can only hope that my “break” from training has refreshed my motivation reserves to pursue race goals this year and in the near future…

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I hated running as a kid, but I surprisingly did cross-country for one year in middle school, in an effort to list it as an extra-curricular activity for college apps. Turns out colleges don’t care what you did before high school…so they never knew about how much I despised being the only brown girl on the “team” and the second-slowest one at that!

I was relieved to kick running aside once I got to high school, choosing to focus on tennis instead. My Dad was also thrilled about this, and we spent many off-season afternoons practicing at community park courts.

I was good for a high school kid, but not good enough to make it to the collegiate level, so I was “sport-less” once again in college. Running as a sport came across my mind again after stumbling upon blog posts by bloggers who detailed their racing adventures in “race recaps”. I was so inspired by one particular blogger’s running journey, that I signed up for my first race in 2012, at a local Turkey Trot.

My average pace was around 10:00/mi at the time—nothing special, but timing wasn’t my goal. I was excited to run all the local races I could, and post my own race recaps!

I was still struggling with an eating disorder when I picked up running during this time. The fact that I was running and exerting energy through a physical sport was somewhat convincing for my brain, “allowing” me to consume more on days I ran, but counting calories was still an obsession…

When I moved to Los Angeles for graduate school, I stumbled upon a marathon training team. Prior to that, I never thought I would train for a marathon, but something about combining running with camaraderie and setting new distance goals seemed highly appealing at the time.

Before I knew it, I crossed the finish of my first marathon in March 2015.

But given the state my body was in, I had to make a critical decision: choose recovery so that running would be a sustainable activity for life, or continue on a path of restriction and running until my body crumbed from overexertion and inadequate fuel.

This was a few months after my first marathon, running at a local half in hot SoCal summer heat. I was still underweight and suffering from things like bladder incontinence on long runs. Not good…

I chose the former, and while I battled negative body image thoughts for another year after getting myself to a healthy weight, at least I was now at a point where I could get in shape to compete healthily.

So in the training cycle for my third marathon in LA, I was finally seeing progress. I was running workouts with my teammates at paces ranging from 7:30-8:24/mi on “fast” days, and my endurance was the best it had ever been.

It got me a PR of 3:57:53, in March 2017.

I was thrilled with the time, but not with having to peel off my socks over angry-red blisters and black toenails!

After this marathon, things continued to feel right with running. I had a marathon in San Diego booked for two months later, and I had fun piggy-backing off of my LA marathon training, and finding and working with a coach. The race time I got in San Diego was comparable to LA, and it only pushed me to want more out of my training—to really push the envelope on my pacing and time goals.

But things started to sour in late 2017. I had agreed with my coach to switch to forefoot running (to get away from heel striking) in an effort to make my running more energy-efficient. This took me about six months to get used to, and shook me up during my fall marathon training cycle.

My times were getting “slow” again. What was this coach doing?

I ran my third marathon for the year—fifth one total—in November 2017: the Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa. The race itself was an awful experience due to the piercing cold weather and my own issues with bowel movements and breathing. After the race, I suffered with a bout of shin splints, and I figured it was time for a clear break from training.

Unfortunately, these issues didn’t disappear in 2018. I was plagued with breathing issues, bowel problems, fatigue coinciding with PMS, and chest tightness. This was also paired with mental fatigue, since I had pent up frustration from not being able to meet my next-level goals.

At one point in the year, I ran a race in Orange County and completely lacked the enthusiasm I normally had for races. I didn’t take out my phone to take pictures, and I felt irritable throughout my time on the course. I eventually walked some of the race—something I never did for distances less than 26.2 miles—and called it quits early.

So I thought 2019 would be a fresh start, but running LA that year proved to be nothing special. I then made the more serious decision not to participate in anymore races until I was ready to compete with a pace (and mind) I was happy with.

Then, 2020 happened, and it was as if taking a break from races was pre-planned for me by the universe!

It wasn’t until later in the year—after settling in Italy—that I started to think about having a new approach to training. My ultimate goal was—and still is—to get faster. To eventually be able to compete at the elite level. The past few years have been a challenge in regards to staying in line with this goal, but I didn’t want to lose hope.

Back in September 2020, I wanted to start training again, smartly.

These were humbling realizations, but having them when I did was probably pre-mature, looking back. I was struggling with handling work demands—and adapting to a new life in general—with my energy levels, so many of the weeks in late 2020 were much like before. I ran when I could, but just to keep with a routine. I still lacked the energy required to hit the time goals I desired.

An early morning run in Milano when I just felt out of breath and paralyzed with anxiety and stress from work…

At least when I did venture out to run, I tried to appreciate my surroundings and take in the nice, peaceful moments of nature when they happened…

I’ve also been incredibly lucky to spend so much time in Como… it’s the perfect backdrop for weekend runs near the fresh mountain air…

And at least now, I can say I’ve run in the snow 😅? Not the best setting for marathon training, but a fun way to ring in the new year…

…so was running 40 miles for the last week of 2020, my highest weekly mileage of 2020 since the summer.

————————————————– 𝕊𝔾𝔻 ————————————————-

It’s hard to predict how racing will look after the mess that was 2020, but I hope I can finally get back to a “training 2.0” of sorts.

I have my eyes on some marathons that are tentatively scheduled in late April/May here in Italy, but since anything can happen, I’m also ready to figuratively run in place… my goal is to be ready for whatever comes.

Two Hour Trips

The Women’s Brain Book by Dr. Sarah McKay

Remembering Malmö and Copenhagen

Vegano a Milano

Running Reflections