south asian writer – Page 6 – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

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This month has been so calm, peaceful, and happy. I didn’t think I’d make it to such a mental state so quickly, but it’s happening.

Besides having a mini emotional breakdown at the end of January (being uncertain about the start of my business trip given the Omicron scare and waiting on the Italian consulate to process critical documentation to begin my EU Blue Card application were my triggers), I’ve felt relatively calm ever since, and I’ve welcomed it with an embrace of a mother who just saw her grown kids after 10 years 😅.

I know that I would have never found my current position in industry if it had not been for academia driving me out of toxic working conditions, but I do wonder what would have happened if I had joined my current company back in June 2020, rather than pursuing a post-doc, if everything I have been provided with so far was provided to me back then 🤔. I am almost certain Italy would have tasted sweeter.

Maybe as sweet as this donut I had the other day? I know, not Italian, but when it comes to breakfast, my cravings are all-American.

I definitely would have been over the moon about the Italian course they are willing to cover. Right now, I feel like I have to force myself to get motivated.

Despite the harsh reality I ended up having to face, I am forever grateful for the current calmness of 2022, and the calmness of my return to Milan especially. I mentioned in the linked post that I face doubts about what my current “passions” are, and if I will find success and happiness if I continue to pursue them, but I must also acknowledge that the new work-life balance I’ve found has allowed me to figure this out, day by day.

With running, I am finding my mental and physical stamina again. In the weeks leading up to my departure to Milan, I was running 9-10 miles for long runs on Sunday mornings. It was easy to zone out, get lost in my Spotify playlists, and enjoy the long Texas roads, stumbling across the occasional longhorn and galloping baby calves 😍.

While in Italy this month, I crushed my long run goals, going back to running distances that once came second nature to me. 11, 12, 13 mile long runs didn’t feel so intimidating this time around. I ran the hills of Como during these long runs, and I didn’t stop in a work anxiety-induced paralysis, which often prevented me from going the distance last year…

I feel good with my runs so far, even though I’m still off with my goal pace. But based on past experience, I know that increasing my weekly mileage will help. I’m trying to get back to where I was in 2017, where I was running 40-50 miles a week, in peak marathon training shape (pace-wise), and had built great comradery with my marathon training group as a plus. Running with people is a painkiller for me, it feels amazing to run with others, but finding a solid group of people to train with in Italy has been an impossible task. Especially due to the pandemic...

I have a half marathon in Texas scheduled in early April, and my hope while I am at home again for the next four weeks is to incorporate double runs (running in the morning and evening of the same day) again, to hit a higher weekly mileage. In Italy, it seems as though I’m better off finding people who smoke more than participate in cardiovascular exercise, frankly speaking, but we’ll see what happens as the months progress. While in Texas, it shouldn’t be too hard to stop by a Fleet Feet for a weeknight or weekend morning run with a group of like-minded runners 😀.

With writing, I go through moments of impassioned writing bursts, or days of procrastination. I think all writers can relate. Last year, I decided to stop writing short-forms on IG because it is a platform that doesn’t appreciate that kind of work. So now, my writing has become a private endeavor in the short-term, and this tests my patience immensely.

Coffee shop working and writing has always been a hobby of mine. It’s not a usual thing to do in Italy though…

I’ve chosen to keep the details of my writing projects private for now, but my close friends are writers themselves, and it’s been nice being able to bounce ideas off of them now and then. When I was back home, it was easier to write after work, and after an evening run. While in Italy, finding motivation to write in the evenings has been difficult, but I’m trying not to force myself if I don’t feel like it. I’m hoping for more days where I can bust out work in less than an hour due to passion (lol), like a post I wrote regarding Women’s Day. But even if those days are rare for now, I’m trying to use this time to figure out what works best for me when it comes to creating a “writing routine”.

Last week, I was successful in devoting 30 minutes to one of my projects every day, no matter what. Even if some of those sessions were not extremely productive, the minutes I had my doc open helped me in some form with the process as a whole. I’m hoping to continue meeting these “mini goals” because it’s better than not doing anything at all!

With my career, it’s something I’ve said a number of times but still holds true—leaving academia meant getting my mental health back. There is no doubt that me talking about running and writing here is because now I have the time to invest in them again.

I was also able to work remotely 2x a week while I was in Italy! It made long walks or lunchtime breaks outdoors so easy to fit in, and it definitely made me happy…

My job so far has been so perfect in terms of work-life balance, but even within the role, there have been discussions on what I can be involved with in the near future. Like, pipeline stuff. In the industry, this refers to a series of projects the company is working on or plans to work on. Some of the items proposed to me sound really exciting, and sound like they would utilize my skillset. Makes me feel important 😌

With life abroad, I still don’t know if I desire anything new. I had really high hopes during my first Italy stint, but learning the language is something that no longer excites me. Still, I will give it my best shot with the classes my company is offering me, it’s the least I can do, but if I had to choose between becoming an elite runner overnight or waking up speaking fluent Italian? I’d go with elite runner, hands down.

Do I want to travel? Sure, but only if the travel is spent with people I want to be with. I still haven’t been south of Florence when it comes to Italy. I’m saving places like Rome and Naples for when people I love can join me on those adventures. In the near-term, I don’t expect my family or close friends to be able to afford to see me in Italy, and so I have no complaints about going to see them where they are. My friend in Germany recently invited me to join her in Turkey for a few days during the summer to attend a wedding. I’d love to join her for that, only so I can spend quality time with her. I’ve heard Turkey is beautiful, but I don’t have the desire to go by myself at the moment. Such a stark difference from my solo travel days…

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It’s nice to be able to reflect on these past few weeks and be happy with them. I can only hope that things continue to go well and develop to my liking, but like I mentioned in a post from a few weeks ago, I’m attempting to adopt a “cruise control” attitude for all of these things. I know now that I can experience calmness for a long period, and that makes me feel so good.

And it only further drives home the point that our environment is so powerful, so do whatever you can to put yourself in a place that gives you the best possible.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I’m pleased to present a guest post by Joseph F. Kolapudi, a fellow second gen desi based in Australia! When Joseph reached out to me eager to share his thoughts on how connection in our community is essential—especially during challenging times like a global pandemic—I couldn’t refuse. I’m thrilled to feature Joseph’s piece here on Second Gen Desi—it’s definitely worth a read!

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Community. It’s what brings us together in the toughest of times. During natural disasters, world wars, political unrest – it can be the anchor we look for when we are overwhelmed in a sea of anarchy. However, what happens when the one thing we take for granted is distanced from us?

During these days of what can be described as some of the most uncertain circumstances, our current situation in which we find ourselves seems to be a reality that is too hard to understand. But challenging times seem to be the only constant of our present age.

Conversations, especially ones that cross borders, cultures, and caveats to enter into the homes and living rooms of our existences, especially for second generation desis, can be some of the most engaging and most honest conduits of truth that we cling to in these tough times.

I recently connected with a fellow second-generation desi who had been struggling due to COVID-19. Despite our differences in time zones, country borders and situations, I understood the importance that our shared connection had in making them feel valued and appreciated. Although our connection was limited by these factors, we still had commonalities that we could express and seek to understand together. Fast forward to the present day, and she managed to move to the same city, and I was able to connect her to a wider community in which she has now found greater solace and similarities.

These are the conversations that we have a hard time engaging in, especially in the midst of a global pandemic. Though cultural conversations have been a hallmark of our times, what happens when those conversations turn inward towards introspection?

Personally speaking, it’s something I’ve been doing a lot of lately. About how second generation desis can learn to code-switch without even thinking twice, but wonder why others can’t do so without thinking about it long and hard. How we can know a person’s ability to connect with those like us, but we somehow find it increasingly difficult to decipher where they feel more at home. How some people can look past a person’s background or status, but fail to see the struggle despite the façade of success.

We need to look at how we can take our conversations from small talk to street talk. From a person-to-person experience to a communal reality. From connections in a corner of the community hall, to one that’s a worldwide phenomenon that every desi can resonate with in their own, unique way.

Our world is hurting right now, but there is a hope that what lies beyond tomorrow is worth fighting for. It begins with honest conversation, but it doesn’t stop there. Through our own, personal connection to others, we can see the light that God has placed inside each of us.

We can be the community that comes together for true connection; and it starts with us.

Joseph is a second-generation desi currently living in Australia. He currently works as a Project Director of a nonprofit by day, and a cultural connoisseur of Indian cuisine by night.
He also loves exploring different cultures and countries whenever he is able, and recently returned to India for his wedding. As a writer by profession, he prefers to explain stories
through the written word, and looks forward to connecting with the wider desi diaspora!

Keep Calm & Carry (Yourself) On

Guest Post: Connecting Beyond Conversations – South Asian Community in the Midst of COVID-19