second gen desi blog – ⋆ Second Gen Desi ⋆

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I’ve had a love-hate relationship with solo travel over the years, but after a spontaneous weekend away in Maui back in February, several realizations have occurred to me:

I will forever be a summer baby/beach girl – I tried getting into seasons when I moved to Milan, to the point where I was actually excited to wear a winter coat after 20+ years in California where seasons were practically non-existent. However, my patience wore thin quickly after my first January in Italy. All of this to say that I thrive in environments that hover within the 60-80°F range, and that I prefer warm over cold. Hawaii—especially Maui—absolutely fits the bill.

If you are mentally craving alone time, that’s normal and should be honored – Until recently, I saw my independence/ease with doing things alone as a strength, but also as something I had to do because the people in my circle wouldn’t cooperate with me as much as I with them. In the latter part of my stay in Italy and in the early months of my move to Austin, I was trying (too) hard to avoid being alone, and to make sure I was always doing something with someone, even if it was a one-time meeting and I never heard from the person again (Bumble BFF shenanigans…). But lately? I don’t give a damn. In fact, I’ve been craving alone time, to do anything and everything I want without negotiation or compromise…maybe it is subconscious retaliation after trying so hard to control things that I just will never be able to control (i.e. flaky people 🙄).

The place where you choose to be alone absolutely matters – I got bored easily in Sweden and Vancouver, Canada. Freiburg felt like a relief, but I visited at a time when I was beginning to feel jaded with Europe (similar with Porto and Budapest—these cities were amazing, but the environment wasn’t enough to distract me into having blissful fun). Hawaii however has been a place that has effortlessly transformed my perspective and mood—first in Kauai with my sister, and then in Maui on my own. Maybe it’s the weather, the laid-back attitudes of the locals, the fresh food, the water, the time zone so distant from everyone else on the planet, or all of the above, but Hawaii hands-down is one of the few places I’ve visited on this lonely planet that makes me feel happy no matter what.

I’ll preface this recap to say I was far from feeling happy prior to the trip. I had a rough start to 2024, though not as difficult as prior years had been. Sudden changes at work, feeling misunderstood after events that occurred in late 2023, and the sudden drop in temperatures all contributed to my feeling stressed and angry. Womanly hormones and PMS/PMDD did not help either.

Maui came to mind when my mind harkened back to six months prior, lounging on a Kauai beach with my sister. I figured, why not head out to Hawaii again and why not check out a new island? If I wanted to do it, nothing was stopping me.

And that’s another thing—when you have the privilege of being free (be it in a financial-context, from family commitments, having a flexible work schedule, etc.), it really does feel more exciting to venture out alone. It also helps if the trip serves as a stand-alone adventure, and not necessarily a distraction from life’s challenges.

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Of course, I was busy with work up until the very last minute before my trip, and I had doubts as to why I even planned the trip! I had to time my layover just right to be available for a time-sensitive call on the Friday I was traveling. I was fortunately able to make it work, thanks to the Capital One Lounge at the Denver Airport, where I helped myself to complimentary cappuccinos and churro custard cups before boarding my flight to Maui.

Finally being in a cozy financial situation also makes solo travel more manageable.

When I arrived to Maui seven hours later, I actually didn’t feel too worn out! My Friday immediately became longer, and it’s as if being on island soil was the solution I had needed all along to melt away the stress that had been plaguing me for weeks.

Knowing I wanted to take it easy while away and on my own, I kept my planned itinerary light with just one major thing planned per day. Depending on how I felt, I would decide what I would do for the remainder of the day—if I had a jolt of energy, I’d be down to explore some more, otherwise I had no issues taking it easy and yes, sleep if I wanted to!

Landing at 4pm meant picking up my car (or should I say mini- van…that’s all they had left when I rolled in!) and grabbing dinner since Hawaiian establishments are notorious for closing up “early”. While I wanted to check out a vegan food truck that Google reported was in the area, I ended up with a tray of cheesy fries from a gyro truck because the vegan food truck in question was indeed closed.

Still, I couldn’t complain too much: gobbling up cheesy carbs in 75°F weather with other hungry Hawaiians and tourists on a Friday evening was quite enjoyable.

My guest room in the Airbnb I stayed featured in the top right

Driving over to my Airbnb room rental in the charming village of Paia (Pai-ee-ah) was only made gorgeous by the sunset that was occurring around 7pm. After checking in, I made my way to the small town’s “center”, bought myself a cup of ice cream, and proceeded to walk to the nearby beachfront.

No free falling coconuts. Just a cool ocean breeze and quiet for miles and miles.

I went to sleep soon after, since I had a 7 mile run planned before heading out to volunteer with a local organization the next morning. The run reminded me of my early morning wake-up calls when I lived in LA and Orange County. Somehow I had the stamina to wake up at 5am to squeeze in a 5-7 mile run before showering and going to lab. Now living in Texas, I struggle with having to wake up before 7am—I want to believe it’s my body responding differently in various time zones, but who knows!

After the run which was mostly run in pitch-black darkness, I got myself a coffee and then drove to Lahaina where the volunteering event was taking place. I had the opportunity to volunteer with Maul Cultural Lands, specifically by showing up on the Saturday morning I was in Maui to participate in one of their Maintenance Participation Days in Honokowai Valley.

Back in 1999 (lol), it was found that beneath extensive foliage, there were a vast number of archaeological sites that included homes, farms, trails and places of worship (heiaus) in Honokowai. Honokowai most likely vanished due to a shift of the islands’ economy to sugar plantations, and stream water was diverted for cultivation of sugar crops. Without fresh stream water to sustain the community, the village perished, and families had to abandon the valley. The founder—who I got to meet and work with, Ed Lindsey— founded Maui Cultural Lands to facilitate the restoration of cultural sites including Honokowai. The volunteer program is open to locals and visitors alike, so I met a fair mix of all ages and genders. I even met another female solo traveler visiting from Tampa, Florida!

The ride up to the valley was like being in Jurassic Park—a bunch of us hopped onto the back of a pick-up truck and were literally rolling around because of the unpaved roads covered in boulder-like rocks. It was an adventure for sure!

At the top, we spent the next two and a half hours going over safety protocol and getting to work. After pulling weeds, tagging indigenous plants that the group has been trying to promote the growth of, and getting a nature lesson from Ed, we were treated to lunch. It was a nice moment to relax and chat with everyone who had spent their morning working on a unified goal. My friend from Tampa and I exchanged numbers and were able to meet later that evening, so it was another situation where traveling solo without any pressure led to unexpected company.

Native fruits and potluck-style baked goods for our volunteer community lunch

I left that morning feeling fulfilled and proud that I got to engage with locals in a natural way, while contributing to a great cause. This volunteer activity was one of the anchoring pieces of my solo itinerary. In my opinion, “volunteering on vacation” makes the time away so much more memorable, especially if you are traveling alone. It’s a great way to meet others and bond quickly, since volunteer projects usually bring together open-minded and empathetic individuals. I mean, when’s the last time anyone saw a tech bro helping out at the food kitchen 🤷🏽‍♀️?

You can learn more about Maui Cultural Lands here, and even sign up to volunteer.

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I did spend that evening with my Tampa friend—a fun event in itself as we were trying to catch a hula show not realizing they’ve been cancelled since the fires—and we made the best of the night by walking over to Whaler’s Village which had tons of shops and restaurants. We settled on a poke restaurant (she had never had it before!) and we chatted about our careers, solo traveling, and even astrology on the long drive back to Paia in my soccer momma mini-van 😂.

I appreciated this new-found companionship, but I also relished the time I spent alone earlier in the day post-volunteering. I was able to select a lunch spot of my choosing without having to cater to others’ preferences. So, it was a GO for vegan!

As much as traveling with others provides convenience and some sort of comfort, I will never take for granted being able to type in “vegan near me” in Google anywhere I am traveling solo. It most often leads to delicious, nutritious, and filling veggie bowls with savory proteins, or “knock-off pulled pork” sandwiches made with shredded seitan drenched in BBQ sauce.

Vegan Caesar Bowl with Tempeh from AA Roots

“Pulled Pork” Sandwich from Earth Aloha Eats

I also enjoy sipping on local kombuchas and probiotic sodas. Finding new food and drink brands and having the chance to try them will always keep my the foodie in my heart happy.

If you are someone who lives to eat (like me, lol), I’m sure you can understand the beautiful freedom that comes with being able to pick what you want to eat when going out or traveling, or traveling with others who also agree with your palate. Not having the guilt the accompanies being on the “winning side” of a compromise is such a relief.

The next day brought about another fair mix of solo and group activities, however the latter still ended up feeling like a solo adventure. I first got my long run of 15 miles out of the way, mixing in steep Paia hills as well as beach views. I then made my way to Wailuku for my first snorkeling experience!

The company I picked was the first one that popped up on Google (Maui Snorkeling, lol) and overall, they were efficient from start to finish. It was about a three-hour trip in total: one hour sailing to Molokini Crater, snorkeling at Molokini, and sailing back. In this time, we were educated on safety protocol, got a crash-course in snorkeling, and even had a simple sandwich lunch on the way back.

I didn’t particularly bond with anyone in this group, though there were two other female solo travelers (one was a hippie-like local, lol!). There was a family of four (with two adult children) who were obnoxious beyond belief. Hey, there are some moments during solo travel where it’s best to just stay in your lane and not even try with some people.

I had a sliver of anxiety at the beginning, diving into cold water and figuring out how to breathe with the thingamajig in and around my face, but I eventually found my rhythm. While it’s not something that excites me as much as vegan food, I’m glad I had the chance to try it, and I’m even more glad that it was something I was able to tackle solo.

Of course I ended the evening with vegan food (that “pulled pork” sandwich from above).

My final planned event for my solo trip was a photoshoot with a local photographer. I found Michael on social media, and he was happy to take some fresh photos for my modeling portfolio. He was easy to work with, and not feeling nervous helped with the final product: I ended up with awesome photos to update my comp card with! Traditionally, he does family, couples, and wedding shoots, but Michael’s flexibility in helping me carry out my vision for a solo/modeling-oriented photoshoot made me feel genuine excitement for my solo trip to Maui…something I had never experienced before.

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Being solo in Maui in February, at a time when the rest of world was in the doldrums, was the best gift I’ve given myself this year. It’s now an example of what I would like my future solo trips to look like, although not everywhere I travel to can have temperate weather, ocean views for miles, and can keep me happy for no apparent reason.

I didn’t feel like this in Sweden or Vancouver, or even Porto, and I think it’s because I allowed myself to have a plan consisting of things I know I’d enjoy, while not fully committing to anything if I didn’t feel like it. I don’t think I have the secret formula for planning the perfect female solo traveler trip, but this one right here is getting me pretty dang close…

New tradition every time I visit Hawaii. I forsee more shave ice with mochi in the future <3

What was your most memorable and fun solo trip?

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The more that time passes, the more I feel empowered with each decision I make that checks off the following:

I am doing something I love, or if it is something I’ve never tried before, I’m giving it my best effort to make it something I love.
I am putting myself first—my wants, my needs—absolutely first.
I am able to share experiences with others—relationships old and new—to create memories I’d rather keep than fancy, expensive materials.

My recent trip to Austria (Vienna and Salzburg) checked off all of this and much more, which is probably why it was one of my most favorite trips of 2023 to-date. It wasn’t Austria that made it perfect: while it was a great backdrop, the reasons I went were what made the trip so wonderful.

As I mentioned earlier this year on the blog, I left Italy after almost three years in April 2023 to return home to the USA. What followed were events (both negative and positive) that severely impacted the direction my life would take.

Through it all, I emerged like a phoenix, stronger and better than before, while still allowing myself to grow. Finally landing my dream job (at least related to financial stability and my educational background, lol) has helped me to finance a lot of the things I’ve been doing and planning as of late. And that includes travel. I know that not everyone can make “short and frequent” trips across the globe as they wish, so I am grateful for a salary and life situation (i.e. no kids) that bolsters a lifestyle where I can put myself first.

Since I work for a company that offers an amazing time-off plan (vacation days along with personal days), my boss encouraged me to use the personal days I had accumulated since my recent hire for time off in 2023, rather than dip into my vacation days since those could roll over into the next year. Thanksgiving break (normally the fourth Thursday and Friday in November) was the perfect opportunity to head back to Europe, almost seven months since my departure.

To be honest, I would not have visited Austria on my own. In a lot of ways, I feel “Europe’d out”, in the sense that if you visit a region frequently enough, it all starts to blend together and feel boring, I went for my dear friend Glenis (check out her Pour the Coffee episode!), one of the few souls I bonded with during my time in Italy, since we both faced challenges during our time there. I was looking forward to seeing her, and learning why Austria was able to capture her heart and become her new home in just a matter of months!

There were a few curious critics who didn’t understand why I’d make such a “long” trip for only a “short” time. “Aren’t you going to visit your family for Thanksgiving?” was the main question I had to respond to while secretly rolling my eyes. One of the reasons I’m glad to be based home again is because I can see my family any time I want. Now, a three hour drive will fix any domestic homesickness I have, versus when I was living in Italy and felt obligated to use my Christmas and summer holidays to spend 2-3 weeks with my Dad especially.

Like I said earlier, I’m grateful for factors that allow me to “pick up and go”, as I acknowledge most people can’t. But for me, three days in Austria was plenty, and it was an effective way to 1) take advantage of a national holiday break, 2) see my dear friend again after many months, and 3) travel to a new country and visit new cities.

In the three full days I spent on Austrian soil, Glenis and I spared no minute. We talked, laughed, explored, ate, drank, and reminisced on how much our lives have changed in less than a year, in mostly good ways.

Highlights from the trip included:

Ditching a walking tour halfway to go exploring on our own, only to discover a unique art gallery and associated café, where we met an amazingly kind server and coffee-break’d with some of Austrian’s oldest—don’t ask me why we were the only millennials in Dorotheum’s coffee shop 😅.
Eating dinner at IKEA near Westbahnhof (twice, lol) and being the only two people in the entire IKEA cafeteria to receive chocolates from Santa.
Cracking ourselves up at Motzart’s museums in Salzburg: who knew two modern-day women in their early thirties could resonate so much with a musical prodigy of the 1700s who ended up a fumbling gambler with approximately 42,000 euros in debt, lol 😶.
Using the metro, tram, and European trains again, remembering to be thankful for the convenience a car provides.
Poking fun at the Italian influences while reconnecting my German language neurons—my passive high school German still seemed pretty fresh!
Tons of inside jokes and deep belly laughs—absolute tons 💕.

Three days was just enough for me for this particular trip, but it is always difficult to say goodbye to a good friend, not knowing when the next time we will reunite will be. This is one of the reasons why I don’t mind traveling for others, if I can afford it. It’s something I mentioned to Glenis and to others in recent times: if someone I know from outside the US is coming to the US, I will gladly hop on a plane and make a meet-up happen, regardless of the city they will be in. Likewise, I now try to tell anyone I know in a region I’m planning travel to that I’m coming, in case they can meet up with me.

This sounds like a lot of work, and I guess that explains how far I will go to keep relationships I’ve created alive. I know most don’t see it as a priority, feeling content with the 2-3 main people in their local lives and maybe the occasional invite to the destination wedding of a college roommate. For what I’ve experienced, my view on travel makes sense for me, even if it is not the norm. And hey, it also makes me an amazing friend if you wish to have me as one 😏😉.

While it would be great to have a friend in every country on the planet to help guide me, as well as provide good company, I know there may be places I may have to venture to on my own. Sometimes it’s easier to book the tickets and go versus coordinating schedules and budgets, even if that means sacrificing a shared experience with a good friend or loved one.

A Texan in Salzburg—❄❄❄ the picture does not reflect how cold I was!! ❄❄❄

Next year, I plan to travel for work of course, but I also hope to squeeze in more trips to see old friends or friends I’ve connected with virtually, but have not met in person yet. It would be amazing to check off new countries, let alone new continents—Australia, Africa, and South America are still places that I have yet to explore.

I’m used to living a life not normal by any standards, and I love it. Cheers to many more travels, on my own terms ❣

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Back in August, my sister and I traveled to Hawaii for the very first time. Our island selection was purely based on which was cheapest to fly into on our selected dates from Austin, Texas—travel planning at its finest 😂.

Lucky for us, one of Hawaii’s most beautiful islands—Kauai—was the “cheap” one to fly into from the bunch. When I started sharing our travel plans with others, everyone who had been could not stop commenting on the jungle lure and true South Pacific vibes this particular island had to offer.

Even with the hype, my sister and I still waited until a few days before to finalize our itinerary, and given the nature of my job at the time, I was remote working for part of the trip. Despite all of this, we had no complaints, but there were moments I couldn’t help but mock regarding our so-called “vacation life”.

Read on as I poke fun at our adventures, as “lazy girls in Hawaii” 🤙

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Rent a car under your name, but have your sister drive you around because you get “chronic headaches” and super sleepy after meals. I am the worst traveler in that my body malfunctions and/or shuts down during travel. I used to be able to knock-out on planes as a kid, but the smaller seats and barbarians who like to recline their seat way too far prevent me from accumulating precious sleep hours. Instead, I arrive to my destination with jet-lag induced headaches super hungry, and upon eating my first meal, I can feel my eyes start to droop. Definitely not safe if you need to drive around, so thank goodness for my travel partner sister, lol.

We got “upgraded” to a bigger car. It definitely was roomy and it did have good AC, which was super important for us lol.

Participate in Kauai Humane Society’s dog field trip program by selecting the oldest, least energetic dog, only to have him pee on your beach umbrella. In my defense, I wanted to take out their cattle dog. but he got snatched up right away. I also didn’t want to push it since my energy levels were pretty low after a long day spent at the beach, fully exposed to all the UV, the day before. Brockstein seemed great for a while…until I decided to take a break in the water and leave him with my sister for ten minutes. Of course he had to relieve himself on the beach umbrella and our only towel, of course…

Nah, but he was a sweet soul. It pains me every time I see a senior dog at the shelter, knowing that the likelihood of them being adopted and living their final years in a home with a loving family is statistically low :/. Out of all the things we did in Kauai, I highly recommend incorporating this into your itinerary.

Stock up on local snacks to save money and take a break from the few vegan-friendly places on the entire island. The one thing I did do research on prior to our trip was the vegan foodie scene. Kauai does have a couple of intriguing vegan cafes and restaurants. Our favorite ended up being The Spot close to where we were staying (Princeville), which offered all sorts of intriguing foods and drinks, including an acai bowl that was drenched with macadamia butter—my sister loved that.

When our wallets needed a break, we trekked to some of the local markets and kept an eye out for snacks in the $2-3 range (that’s cheap by Hawaiian standards). These Noms snacks and of course, Hawaiian Host chocolates featuring macadamia, were sensible choices.

Use work meetings as an excuse to have your sister get breakfast for you—hey, give her your credit card cause she’s not your maid! I was in contract-role that prevented me from taking a paid vacation during the time of our Kauai vacation, so I decided to work the days we were there so that I could fund the vacation 😂. To me this isn’t a bizarre concept, being a millennial professional who has lived through the COVID-era. I wasn’t hula hooping over the fact I had to be up at 5am to attend meetings, but at least I finished at 1pm local time, and that gave us plenty of time to vacation. It’s all about balance, ya’ll.

These delicious beauties were a find from my sister—her Holey Grail discovery was theeee best

Let your sister shop to her heart’s content because you’d rather take a nap in the car. My sister is a shopper, I am not. All of her friends far and wide were gifted with trinkets from our travels. Most of my friends didn’t even realize I was in Hawaii until it popped up on their social media. If I don’t even know what I want for myself, how could I begin to figure out gifts for others? Instead, I entertained myself with naps in the car and taking on the title of chicken anthropologist—the Hawaiian kind are worthy of their own reality show.

While she shopped, I devoured native delicacies like shaved ice

Make at least one day a dedicated beach day so you can have your mandatory summer vacation pics for Insta. This summer, I wore a swimsuit four times. I can’t even recall the last time I had a summer where I wore a swimsuit more than once…given that I am an August baby, I know that’s pitiful. At least I wore my swimsuit in Hawaii twice, and it took an incredible amount of effort to do just that. My sister was a great photographer, and I paid the favor back. Now we have proof that we vacationed in Hawaii, even if it is “basic”.

If you have to chase down a beach umbrella blowing in the wind at Poipu, it will look comical AF so make sure your sister has her camera out to capture the ridiculousness of it all. Poipu is an oft-cited, well-known area of Kauai, but it wasn’t our favorite. It was too far south from where we stayed in Princeville (we found North Shore in general to be more our vibe, and Hanalei was our favorite beach). We chose to not go for a swim that day, but to lounge with a beach umbrella sans doggo.

If you’re into surfing and high tides, Poipu is definitely more your style. There were a lot of swimmers and surfers hangin’ ten and it honestly looked like a lot of fun. Unfortunately for us this meant a lot of wind, and at one point, our beach umbrella was literally ripped from the sand, tumbling through the air. After having run a speed workout that morning, my legs were incredibly sore, yet I pushed (as well as tripped and plodded like a buffoon) towards the umbrella hoping to grab it before it stabbed someone in the eye. Luckily I got it, but I wish I had a video to share. By the end of it I was laughing while also trying not to collapse—it was too hilarious a sight.

Don’t see any sea turtles (honu) even though everyone says you will. Stalk chickens instead. I didn’t see any turtles (except for one that looked beached at Poipu 😬), but I did see ALL the chickens and as I stated earlier, their lives are WILD.

My first day in Kauai is mostly chicken pics

If you start to miss Texas by Day 4, don’t worry, you are not going crazy. You just thought you would be able to escape humidity for a bit but the Garden Island laughed in your face. While the intermittent rain was refreshing, the stabbing heat and humidity that followed right after was not. Running through said heat and humidity was something I was accustomed to coming from Texas, but it was also something I was trying to escape from, LOL.

Do not go hiking at Ho’opi’i Falls. It will not take 20 minutes and you will not be amused by the guava on the forest floor. Why is it every time I go hiking with a family member or close friend, it is always a disaster 😂? Someone didn’t bring water, someone didn’t wear the right shoes, someone is too tired…okay, a lot of the times it’s me 😅, but I like to thank running for my endurance/fitness, both physically and mentally.

In addition to a beach day, my sister and I wanted to check off at least one waterfall hike, and Ho’opi’i sounded reasonable. Unfortunately it wasn’t, as the paths were wet and muddy from the morning rain, and the trail (despite being supposedly walked upon by locals and tourists alike) was difficult to decipher. As we motioned further and further into the “jungle”, every time we would spot someone heading back we would ask them how long it took to get to the falls. “Ummm, twenty minutes?”. Perhaps the next “influencer” who makes a trip to Kauai can make a reel about this: how long does it really take to get to Ho’opi’i Falls?

Eventually we made it, and absolutely captured it on camera.

Don’t be surprised if you are sick for two solid weeks post-vacation, eye infection included. This is literally what happened to us. Within a day from returning, my sister and I had varied symptoms for what we could only conclude to be some type of flu. I had intermittent fevers, and eventually a cough/sinus problems for about a total of two weeks post-trip. We were COVID negative, but the weird part was the eye infection that my sister developed at the tail-end of her sickness ordeal. So, be prepared for any tropical bugs, I guess?

And last, but not least, watch me whip and watch me NENE!! If anyone gets the reference, you are a true millennial, but nene are in fact Hawaii’s national bird! It was a gorgeous sight to see them on my runs, relaxed on their land, against the backdrop of lush green and bright blue.

Would you be a “lazy girl” in Kauai or more adventurous 🐢?

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My, how time has passed and how I’ve grown since leaving for Italy in late June of 2020. I look back on the almost three years abroad and still question why some of the moments I went through were really hard at times, but the answers will eventually come, as they always do, with time.

2021 was difficult in its own right, but despite my depression taking over and my desperation to get out of my post-doc/still stay, work, (and let’s face it, love) in Italy, I managed to make it out okay and go into 2022 with hope and stability.

But I harbored a lot of anger in the first half of 2022. I can’t say why, but I could point out the triggers. Despite finding an amazing company that helped me stay in Italy in a position that was well-within my career goals, and the fact that they helped with my sponsorship to attain an EU Blue Card (an ordeal in itself, but it had to be done), I tried to be calm about the process that is life, but I found myself getting angry with each passing month…

I found myself feeling FOMO about my career. Even if I had a “good job” for Italian standards, a lot of my peers back home in the US were making $120-150k in the pharma industry, while my salary stood much lower at 45k euros…again, “good for Italy“, but frankly speaking, it wasn’t good enough for me, especially knowing all the toil I put towards my PhD degree…it was not enough.

I found myself seeking validation, and it affecting my mental health in the most toxic way. I quit social media for almost a year after getting into some heated arguments with loved ones about it. But I couldn’t deny that the metrics of holding onto an audience was getting to me. I felt restricted in being able to speak my truth, as I was finding it difficult to “please everyone”…what I tried to share and create on the platforms I chose, was not enough.

I found myself face a rocky personal battle in late 2022, and it shook up my world more than I could imagine. I think of everything I experienced in my life so far, this one had a superior impact on my emotional and mental health, perhaps because it impacted me in my most vulnerable state. The fact that I couldn’t control the outcome of this particular situation terrified me, and out of everything that was contributing to the challenges I faced in Italy, it was this incident that set me in “fight or flight” mode: find a job, and get the f*ck home…because I was not enough.

LinkedIn distracted me from my clock-watching tendencies at work (the result of being under-utilized), yet the the anxiousness and unpredictability of my personal life, and the continued, chronic invisibility I felt as a helpless “foreigner in Italy” made me feel like I had sunk to rock bottom. Perhaps a “dream job” back home making $150k could make it all better.

I was extremely close. It would have been mine and in an alternate reality, perhaps I’d be living in Las Vegas right now traveling to clinics all over the west coast as a medical science liaison, but ultimately, I was passed on what would have been my dream job. I remember receiving the call outside of a restaurant in Milan I had just met a friend at, and walking to the Buonarotti metro stop in tears, only to have a homeless Italian man offer me a tissue. What a sight that must have been for the cold-hearted pedestrians that continued to walk on by…

I had to go back to the drawing board, knowing that I was the only one who could say “enough is enough”. I gave myself a “deadline” to find a new job within the next three months back home, so I could give enough notice for the cold excuse of a studio I “lived” in, as well as give a “heads up” to my current employer, all while trying to find the time to breathe even if the anxiety was all-consuming at this point.

But as usual, I ended up surprising myself. My bosses seemed to be understanding, although not acknowledging the fact I was wanting to leave the country 😅. I remember my department boss asking me to “give it six months, things are going to change around here!”. I’ve always appreciated their support, something rare to receive from upper-management of Italian companies from what I hear, but I also had to be wary of my emotions and how crazy things had been for the last few months.

It wasn’t enough to hear those words, I needed action.

I managed to schedule my day-to-day activities around job interviews that kept rolling in every week. While they provided me with sparks of hope, when the dreaded “we will proceed with other candidates” emails came though, I’d find myself in desperation again. This went on well into March…

But even though a chronic level of stress was always keeping me on edge, I managed to find and/or create pockets of happy moments for myself during the last few months I spent in Italy. As I slowly made my rounds catching up with the few Milan-based friends I managed to make in recent months, and making them aware of my plans to leave soon, they reached out with open hearts and schedules 😁!

AM and I were able to spend quality time in Ravenna, and a few weekends later, she invited me over for vegetarian Colombian food and coffee on a sunny Saturday afternoon—I love a moment of good food (especially homemade!) and conversation!

The two of us also had vegan sushi in Milan’s only (and relatively new) all-vegan sushi restaurant. Finally, ya’ll caught up with the likes of Los Angeles and Austin 🙃.

I was also able to get some expat girls to break out of their aperitivo comfort zone, and I am proud of the fact that I co-organized a clothing swap! I love organizing events and leading groups (heck, the most favorite part of my PhD was mentoring 20+ students!!), and this particular event gave me the self-esteem boost I was lacking lately…

The friend I met in Cagliari and I were able to do some day trips together, to Padova and Parma. It was nice to have a friend to chat with on the dull and dilapidated inter-regional Trennord train rides (nothing like the tourist-friendly Frecciarossa trains) that were always delayed during our excursions.

Wearing a clothing item I got from the clothing swap!

I also squeezed in some solo weekend trips to Porto and Budapest, which went better than expected.

But even all these good moments…were not enough.

I reckoned with the fact that we were approaching mid-March, and reaching that timepoint was cranking up my already-elevated anxiety. Was it just a coincidence that the day after the Ides of March, I’d get a message from a recruiter asking me to interview for a job that would have never been on my radar? That would pay six figures, allow me to work remote, and be a solid career move that would bring me back safe and sound home to the States?

I had interviewed for the role on a Thursday, and received a firm offer the following Monday. Within a matter of days, I was giving my 30 days to my Italian employer, in talks regarding a counter-offer, informing friends, informing loved ones…

The funny thing was, all the anger, anxiety, sadness, and bitterness began to fade once I was firm in my decision. I was putting myself and my needs first, and I truly believe that when you work towards something with sincerity, the best things will happen for you.

I left Italy in mid-April, thinking I would start my new job a few days later. Of course life is always throwing curveballs, and I ended up starting three weeks later. Go figure, but it was nice to unwind in North Houston and have the company of my Dad.

But I think the best part of all this is the fact that I am able to wrap up this post on the couch of my 1-bedroom apartment in Austin, Texas—a city I fell in love with almost two years ago, and from that summer ’21 visit, knew this was the place I would be proud to call home.

My first weekend as a denizen of the best city in the world!

I know way too many people who settle. Due to fear, lethargy, apathy, you name it. But, isn’t life too short for that? If something is not enough, if it gets you flustered, bitter, angry, anxious, deeply sad…you don’t have to accept it. It will take work, and it will most certainly take time, but the universe always comes through—those of us who are starving, we have a reason to fight and we will eventually be fed.

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I have been pretty successful in my last series of trips to “not go at it alone“.

Funny thing is, I have a solo trip coming up, but only because I figured that for some destinations—like Portugal—it’s best to just make it happen and not depend on others. Especially if RyanAir has a deal you can’t pass up.

I have few friends and a couple of acquaintances in the lonely city of Milan, and I have disclosed to these individuals that my time in Milan isn’t indefinite. Upon hearing this, one of my dear friends AM proposed the idea of doing a mini weekend trip within Italy together. We had talked about this before last summer, when I was putting in an effort to meet a lot more girls in an attempt to create a community for myself here (lol, okay then…). Even though a group trip never panned out, I’m glad that AM was still eager to be my travel companion!

One of her photo tags inspired the title of this post—we also talked about being millennials while on this trip, and if you know me, I will talk for hours about the 2000s to no end!

For our trip, we were thinking small—Siena, Udine, Cinque Terre/La Spezia—but then Ravenna was thrown into the picture and it seemed like a reasonable destination for an easy-going weekend trip within Italy. Round-trip train tickets for the end of February cost around 78 euros, but one of the train legs was on the “fast” Frecciarossa train from Milan to Bologna, and for some reason, our return ticket was on the pricey side.

Trains. You can’t live with ’em, you can’t live without ’em.

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We left on a Saturday morning, getting a coffee (of course) at Milan Centrale before our train to Bologna Centrale at 8am. Despite all the things that stress me about daily life in Italy, my morning ritual of a cappuccino plus something helps me survive on the daily. It’s rare that I have a morning without one, and if I do, I’m in the worst mood ever!

But even when pumped with the fuel a cappuccino provides, I can never be fully prepared for the things life in Italy throws at me: including personal space infringement…

AM and I were assigned seats apart from eachother for the first leg of our trip. I was blessed with this view for one hour. La dolce vita, amIright?

From Bologna, we took a shorter train (about an hour) to Ravenna, which is a seaside town located on the western coast of Italy by the Adriatic Sea. It’s a city filled with churches, Dante’s resting place, and mosaics.

Mosaics are literally everywhere. Some cute pieces close to the hotel we stayed at Hotel Mosaico.

We stayed at Hotel Mosaico, a conveniently-placed hotel within walking distance to the train station (although Google didn’t recognize the underground tunnel to access the station, so when we first arrived we walked “the long way” of fifteen minutes around the station and aboveground 😅). Our room definitely gave us the two separate beds we requested, but the size discrepancy was hilarious.

AM was kind to let me have the bigger bed, although I only took up 25% of the mattress, lol!

After checking in, we did my favorite activity every time I’m in a new place—walking around and taking pics of everyday activity, while walking to food 😂.

The city center is small, easy to walk around within minutes, but definitely has a warm and cozy feel to it even on a rainy day!

The ol’ street name on a plaque on the wall vibe was in full swing here also, but bedazzled with mosaic art:

For lunch, I’m glad AM was just as eager to try Amaranto as I was, a vegan restaurant that also served traditional dishes veganified. While I opted for a noodle curry (I was in the mood for something warm and flavorful), AM enjoyed her traditional cappelletti pasta with ragù (it was all vegan, even the ragù, though AM was convinced it was real meat, haha)!

With bellies full, we were hoping to check off some local landmarks from our list, but we found out that a lot of the local attractions have limited opening hours—including on weekends! So even though we were out and about at 2pm, we managed to make it in time to check out Basilica of St. Vitale but had to see a few other landmark churches in the area the next day.

Even though I’m not Catholic, and Italy is literally the birthplace of Catholicism, the mosaic artwork inside Basilica of St. Vitale is something that any cultured person can appreciate.

I honestly wonder if all these artists back in the day had some adrenaline craving—they had to if they were hanging upside down to paint or assemble flecks of glass together. Crazy guys!

Close to the basilica, there was a cute local artisan shop featuring mosaic gifts and souvenirs. I’m not a souvenir kind of person (photos are fine enough for me!), but I love walking through shops that scream the local themes—I find them more personable than the usual touristy spot or museum!

Workshop area in a place called Annafietta

Before heading to the beach (yes, in February), we stopped for a coffee at Mercato Coperto and then quickly stopped to check out the Battistero Ariani (we thought it was free entry, but there was a two euro fee of course!).

Hanging out at the beach was one of my favorite moments on the trip because AM and I transitioned back to teenage girl mode, haha! She found the perfect stick for carving our names into the sand, and we spent a good two hours getting a solid workout in from walking across the terrain!

Previous trips that had me detour the beach left me wasting time when it came to getting back to the city center. Ravenna was kind to us, in that the bus ride was a “short” 30 minute distance back to the train station. We took a winding way back to a convenient bus stop, but we made it back to the hotel in one piece.

After resting for a bit, dinner was on our minds. I was particularly ravenous, and I attribute that to our energy expenditure at the beach!

Surprisingly, we weren’t met with many options to choose from for dinner. We ended up going to Mr. Dante, a restaurant in the piazza that was literally empty at 8pm.

Ladies and gentlemen, how are you not starving at this hour?

I helped myself to the quattro stagioni without ham, so that left me with artichoke, olives, and mushroom. Oh, but it would have been a knock-out if someone had the guts to put onion and pineapple on this bad boy:

If this only had onions and pineapple! But I still gobbled it up nonetheless!

Despite the dark red color palatte and the all-Italian menu, the restaurant had a TV blasting music videos from the 2000s! What a great accompaniment for two millennialz having dinner 😂.

After gobbling up an entire pizza, I still had room for gelato! We walked around the piazza for a bit, and found out where the “cool kids of Ravenna” go out to hang on Saturday nights. They had a boombox and everything, and it was quite a hilarious sight.

My piccola gelato was a chocolate flavor with Smarties-like candies and an amarena (cherry) flavor on top. It started to rain when we finally got our gelato, but I will never say no to a scoop of ice cream!

It didn’t look like a lot but *trust me* it was.

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The next morning, we were met with a downpour. Heavy rain, brisk winds, everything. I wanted to go for a nice run around the city—maybe to the beach and back because you know, #longdistancerunner—but the weather was making it a challenge.

I ended up running underneath the covering of a police station (lol) and managed to get five miles in despite the horrendous weather conditions. It was worthy of a relaxing breakfast provided by the hotel. The pickin’s weren’t amazing in the savory department, but I managed to find “balance” even among the disproportionate amounts of sweets!

I made it work with bread, jam, cheese, a hard-boiled egg, chocolate muesli, and of course, a cappuccino. I absolutely love it when breakfast is included in a hotel stay…there’s something about a hotel breakfast buffet that makes you really feel like you are on vacation 😂.

Our train didn’t leave Ravenna until 2pm, so we had all morning and lunch to finish exploring.

S. Appolinare Nuovo was next, and is what made me realize that with all of these ceilings and artwork on said ceilings, one who is prone to neck pain should be wary of visiting Ravenna 🤣.

My face when looking at these ceilings during this trip lol

The ceiling work was stunning, but of course, you could tell time had a done a number to the building overall. Still, the mosaic work and its colors are striking!

There was an adjacent Dante exhibit, since the famed poet died in Ravenna. His tomb was actually nearby, and we were able to pass by it as well.

It was a proclaimed “quiet zone”.

Our last stop for the trip was Museo Arcivescovile, which AM and I agreed that it was our least favorite of everything we saw.

It was the most “technical” of them all, literally fitting of its name.

While the ceilings were yet again pretty, many of the items on display got…repetitive 😅.

Needless to say, we were more than ready for a proper lunch before making the long journey back to Milan. AM suggested at the start of the trip that we make it a priority to seek out piadina (essentially a flatbread sandwich) as one of the meals during our trip. I’m always happy to indulge in local favorites as long as there is a vegetarian-friendly option.

But piadina and I have had a tricky history. I didn’t realize that traditional recipes call for lard, or strutto, when making the bread, and this was something I found out months after moving to Italy 🙄.

I may be “that girl” who has to ask at restaurants “do you make this with animal fat?”, but a smart restaurant owner knows that with respect and acceptance of all dietary needs comes moneyyyyy 😂.

So we had to pass on another “famous” piadina spot that was open and ended up at Pasticceria Ferrari instead. It was our third pick, and the ambience was reflective of that—a cafe with an old 70’s feel to it with dim lighting and confusion among its menu. But at least we each had our piadina, since they had vegetarian-friendly ones made with olive oil.

Piadina with squacquerone cheese and rucola

We took our time with lunch, and made our way back to Ravenna station. Of course we had almost an hour to kill, and given the dilapidated state of the station, there was no proper seating area. Of course…

Our ride back was entertaining at least: rowdy Ravennean teens blasting Italian hip hop all the way to Bologna, running through the rain once we got to Bologna just to take shelter with some coffee, falling asleep on the train (me!) with no shame, and having a quick dinner at Centrale before heading home!

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If I’m being honest (always lol), I probably would have been “done” with Ravenna in half an afternoon! It truly is a tiny town more than it is a city, and if I had been a solo traveler, I probably wouldn’t have invested in the tickets to see the inside of the landmark churches (I know, it was only 10 euros to see most of what we saw…).

Still, I’m glad AM and I were able to find time in our schedules to make this mini trip work. Surprisingly, I’ve faced so much hesitation from other expat women in Italy when it comes to planning day and weekend trips in Italy! Not sure why…if you got your butt over to Milan, surely getting on a train for a short weekend trip would be a piece of cake? 😅

So while it’s easier to solo, companionship will always have its perks.

Have you ever visited Ravenna?

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